Dare To Be Aware
by aeval
Summary: What does it take to find your own identity. How much pain can you endure in the process. Quintana
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a fic talking about a female to male teenager and his search to find himself and love. It is Quintana and follows some of the current season 2 storyline and the beginning of season 3 then goes AU. This is in no way reflective of transgendered identity and it is a fictional story. **

**Warnings: Abuse, sexuality, self hate, mentions of self harm and suicide, depression, gender dysphasia, and violent hate crime. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

The final whistle of practice sounded causing all the Cheerios to scatter off the field. Quinn quickly grabbed her duffel bag secured her shower stall. She quickly washed and dried herself off and put on her clean uniform and bolted out of the gym. She ran to her car and sped over to Blaine Anderson's house. He was dating Sam, who everyone still thought was her boyfriend, all three of them were living in a lie, but they couldn't admit the truth to the rest of the world. A few weeks into Sam and Quinn's relationship, Quinn broke down into tears with him, admitting to him everything that she was scared to admit to the rest of the world. And in turn, Sam did the same. Quinn quickly smiled at Blaine's mom as she headed to her second job and ran up to the teenager's room.

"Where's my bag?" she asked as she looked at the boys on the bed studying, Sam pointed to the corner or the room and Quinn quickly grabbed it and headed into the bathroom.

"Bad practice," Sam sighed as he looked over to his boyfriend once Quinn left the room.

"Is it ever good?" Blaine asked as she sat up and closed his book.

Nearly 20 minutes later, Quinn had changed into the clothing that made her more comfortable. A pair of old jeans that she was ale to pick up at salvation army that rode low on her hips and showed the outline of her Calvin Kline boxers over the top. She pulled off her Cheerios top and the bra before pulling on a extremely tight white tank top. She adjusted her small breasts under fabric before she pulled on a black v-neck and a light blue hoodie. She pulled her long blonde hair into a low ponytail and the folding it into a tight bun. She looked in the mirror and took out her contacts and slid her black rimmed glasses onto her face then turned around. She smiled when she looked in the mirror.

_This is how Quinn Fabray should always look_, he thought as he ran his hand over his now visibly flat chest. He pushed her clothing into the bag and grabbed his two hats, one a black beanie the other a black 59fifty Yankees hat. He walked out into the room, "Which hat?"

"Seriously? You look like Justin Beiber." Blaine laughed, "Please, please let me take you shopping so you can look like a man not a little boy."

"Dude, shut up," Sam joked, giving his shoulder a shove, "You wear _bowties_ still. If Quinn wants to dress like a _man_, he's gotta talk to _me_." He hooked a thumb at his chest with a smirk.

"At least lose the bun, Q." Blaine hopped up, rolling his eyes at Sam. "Long hair's hot on guys. Just wear it in a low pony or braid it. But despite the current trend, guys with buns just look girly and I'm pretty sure that's not what you want."

"Yeah, because long hair with layers and shit is oh so masculine." he rolled his eyes and tugged the elastic out of his hair and let it fall down. He gathered up the thick locks and tied it back up into a ponytail, putting his black ballcap on and rolling his neck, "Can't wait to get rid of this hair." Quinn groaned as she moved and sat down on the chair near the bed. "As well as other things."

"Whatever, long hair's hot on dudes," Sam pointed out, ruffling his fingers through his own shaggy mop. "I've been thinking of growing mine out. What do you think?"

"I think you'll look like a dust mop," Blaine muttered. "Q, you've got to let us take you out and teach you how to be a real guy."

"First lesson, stop sitting like that. You're acting like Kurt and it's kinda creeping me out." Sam shrugged then smirked. "Second, you gotta work on your impressions. Ladies _love_ the impressions."

"Sam if you ever call me Kurt again..." Quinn growled, "I will tell him that you wash all your clothing in the same load and he will freak out on you." he smirked and uncrossed his legs, "Better?" Quinn asked as he smoothed out his jeans, "and Blaine... How the heck are you gonna teach me how to be a dude? You're nearly as gay as Kurt."

"But unlike Kurt," his brows raised almost comically dramatically, "_I_ can pass as straight and if all else fails, we have Sam here to help."

"Also," Sam pointed out, grabbing a small pillow shaped like a football he'd gotten for his boyfriend and tossing it at Quinn, "we gotta get you to the gym. There's no way you're gonna bulk like me before you get like hormones and stuff but we can get you hard," he smirked, waggling his brows, "and you know there's nothing better than a hard guy."

"Ignore him," Blaine shot a smirk at his boyfriend with a shake of his head, "he's an oversexed idiot but I love him."

Quinn caught the plush and tossed it into the air. "Please, I've been skateboarding for years and have been cheering since I was six. I could bench press Blaine." He tossed the pillow over to Sam and smirked, "Plus, not all of us have some crazy man-anexoria and go to the gym three times a day."

"Shut up!" Sam pulled his shirt and ran a hand over his defined abs, "You gotta _work_ for a body this sweet. And skateboarding and _cheerleading_ don't give it to you. I bet I could get a lucrative job as a male stripper with this bod." He hopped up on the bed, pulling his shirt off and spinning it over his head with a smirk, "What do you think? I could totally do it. They'd call me... White _Thunder_. Yeow!"

"More like White Chocolate," Blaine laughed, grabbing the waistband of his pants, "now sit down before you break something."

"Whatever, dude." Quinn said with a laugh. He held up his shirt and proudly showed off his abs. "Six pack."

"What'd you do? Drink two first?" Sam laughed, flopping down on the bed beside Blaine. "Dude, we gotta go out, get you looking hot and show you off!" He did a half sit up and pointed his index fingers at him, making fake shooting noises. "No way the girls can resist your ass if we," he gestured between himself and Blaine, "dress you up."

"Not until I cut my hair... You know I'll never pull it off with this." he motioned to his ponytail. "I'm working on my dad letting me cut it chin length or to my shoulders..."

"Dude, trust me. Guys with ponys get chicks," he shrugged, nudging Blaine. "Tell him, B. I know dudes at my school were all about the surfer look."

Blaine shrugged, nodding. "Sam's right, Quinn. Much as I prefer the neat and contained look myself," he brushed a hand over the side of his neatly gelled coif with a smirk, "guys with long hair do score an awful lot of action."

"Totally!" Sam hopped up with a grin. "Come on, Quinn. It'd be totally awesome. We'll get you a unit and everything." He swiveled his hips with an almost lecherous wink, "Come out with us this weekend and I _know_ you'll get your mack on. Ladies love the Bieb right now and you're so rocking it."

"What is your insane need to get my dick wet?" Quinn asked and looked in the mirror, tucking her hair up under the hat.

"Okay, that? Right there? Ain't passing."

"Much as I hate to admit it in this instance," Blaine sighed, "Sam's right. If you want to pass as a gay man, then that sort of attitude is fine. But even in my experience, straight guys _really_ like sex. If you ask me, they like to talk about it more than they actually do it."

"Yeah, cause most of 'em _ain't_," Sam pointed out, flopping back down on the bed. "Look, Q, you don't have to like knock some girl over the head and drag her back to your cave to bone. I'm just saying to go out and _dance_ with a girl at least. Be a man, for Pete's sake!"

"Fine..." he sighed, "we can go."

"Yes!" Sam punched at the air, "This is gonna be _awesome_!" He sat up and jabbed his index fingers at Quinn with a grin, "_You_ are gonna be awesome! Blaine, we have _got_ to take him to that club."

"That club?" Blaine looked confused for a moment only to have his eyes widen in recognition a moment later. "Oh! No... no, I don't think he'd like that so much."

"Dude, we'll get the crap kicked out of us at the straight clubs and I don't wanna go out if I can't dance with my man," Sam grinned lopsidedly at the boy. "And Q'd be cool with it, right? There's all kinds of straight girls there anyway."

"Are you talking about that gay bar in West Lima?" he asked, "I'm not gay or bi like you, Sam. I don't want to dance with a lesbian! She won't like me."

"Dude, two words. Fag hags."

Blaine rolled his eyes, "That is _such_ an awful term, Sam."

"Whatever, it's appropriate." Sam turned back to Quinn, laying it out for him. "They're straight chicks who like to hang around gay dudes hoping they'll get lucky and catch a queen that swings both ways."

"Okay, now that's _really_ inappropriate." Blaine looked appalled.

Sam shrugged, "True though."

Quinn laughed. "That's redic." he smiled, "Alright, I wanna go skateboard for an hour before I have to be Lucy again and go home."

"Awesome. Come on, B," Sam hopped up, dragging his boyfriend along with him, "let's go keep our bro company. Also, Q, check it." He threw an arm over both of the boys' shoulders, "Tomorrow? We're getting you outfitted for the weekend. Whole nine yards. Your mom wouldn't know you when we're done and you are gonna be _hot_."

"Dude, you know if I went home looking like this I'm fucking dead." Quinn said as he ducked out from under Sam's arm to get the boards in Blaine's garage.

"Don't wear it _home_," Sam gave him a look like he was nuts, "like leave it here."

"Sam's got a point," Blaine admitted with a shrug. "Plus, wouldn't you like to like... not have socks in your pants? And something a bit better than that tanktop to work with?"

"Actually it's a condom that's filled with this weird glue mixture. But yeah would be cool..."

"Gak in a sack?" Blaine shrugged, having heard of the packie from a couple of kings he'd met at the club, "Hope you double bagged. But there's this shop over in West Lima we can go. And if you're uncomfortable being you," he shrugged, "we just let Sam fly his freak flag and tell the proprietor of the fine establishment that he _really_ wants his girlfriend to peg him hard as payback to being an ass tonight." He smiled at Quinn over his shocked boyfriend's shoulder as if it was the best idea in the world.

"Hey, wait. No one said anything about making me a public freaker," Sam argued, suddenly looking worried about the whole idea.

Quinn shook his head and grabbed his skateboard. "I can be me." he said, "I gotta get comfortable right?"

"Totally," Sam agreed, grabbing his own board, pleased that he wouldn't have to be a dude who wanted his girl to bang his ass to get Quinn his own junk.

"Not that you don't like taking if in the ass," Quinn joked, as he skated away.

"Hey!" Sam yelled, dropping his board and hopping on in full pursuit of his buddy. "Come back here and say that to my face!"

"It's true though," Blaine mused, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets and following at a more sedate pace.

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><p>Quinn rushed back to his house after hanging out with Blaine and Sam, knowing he was running later than usual and her father would be getting home for dinner soon. She pushed open the door, thankful to only hear Judy on the phone and quickly headed up to her bedroom. Throwing his bag down and sighed, it was always hard to go back to being Lucy Quinn Fabray.<p>

She changed out of her Cheerios uniform and pulled on a pair of Cheerios sweatpants and a t-shirt with her tightest sports bra. Flopping down on the bed, she sighed as she heard the soft thumping of footsteps nearing the door.

"Quinnie?" Judy chirped as she looked into the room. "Sweetheart, you're not wearing that to dinner, right? You know how your father feels..."

"Mom, why can't I be comfortable?" Quinn asked, "Why do I have to wear a dress to dinner?"

"Because it's what we do here. And it's what girls do and you don't want him to become upset, right?" she looked down the stairs when she heard the garage. "Change quick."

Quinn groaned and rolled on her back, running her hand over her stomach. She couldn't wait until winter when she could grow out her leg and underarm hair like she wanted. She hated having to shave for Cheerios, or worse, for her father's inspections.

"Quinnie, you know how he gets. Please change." Judy sighed, swirling her glass, the tinkle of ice against crystal reaching her child's ears. "I'll tell him you're taking a nap for now, but come down soon. Dinner will be ready in another fifteen minutes and you know how he is about punctuality..."

"I just don't understand why!" Quinn exclaimed, "I shouldn't have to wear a dress until he decides he can call me by my real name! I'm not Lucy anymore!" She sat up and looked sadly at her mom, "Why won't you help me?"

Judy smiled ineffectually and leaned against the door, swirling her glass. "I'm sure things will get better once you graduate. He's just under a lot of stress lately with work and all. Hurry up and change now. And wear a regular bra or he'll start insisting on implants again."

Quinn groaned into her arms and threw her lamb stuffed animal at the door. "Just go away, mom."

"Just a few more months and you can go away to college with your friends and be what you want," Judy murmured, pushing away from the door and heading down the stairs.

"Judy? Where are you, woman, I'm hungry!" Came the deep call of Russell from the base of the stairs.

"I'm coming, dear. Quinnie's just laying down. You know how it is," Judy's voice got fainter as she moved away from the door and down the stairs. "Feminine things..."

Quinn sighed and got up. She stripped again and stood in front of the mirror, looking down at the slim body. His defined abs contrasted the roundness of her girlish hips. He looked up to her breasts and sighed. He had done a lot of upper body exercises in the last year to make sure they stayed small, but they were still there. He grabbed a pair of tight fitting boxers and slid them up his legs before grabbing a bra and putting it on with a scowl. Once finished, she grabbed a dress and put it on and yanked a shrug off its hanger.

Quinn put on some perfume and headed down stairs and lingering at their base with a hand on the banister as she watched her father send Judy into the kitchen with a slap to her ass. "Hi, Daddy," she murmured softly.

Russell turned with a smile, opening his arms for a hug. "There's my girl!" He was loud, boisterous and already smelled faintly of his favorite scotch. Between that and the smudge of a lipstick much darker than Judy's preferred color, it was fairly obvious why he was later than usual. "Come and give your daddy a kiss, Lucy."

Quinn walked over and hugged him before pulling away, "Daddy, I told you I wanna be Quinn now... Lucy was that ugly fat girl. I'm not her anymore." Quinn said. "Okay?"

He looked at her for a long moment then shrugged. "Alright. I'll think about it, but you're always my precious ballerina. Come now, sit by your daddy and tell him how your day went!" He moved over to the dining table as Judy bussled about getting dinner on the table. "And how's that boy of yours, Sam wasn't it? A fine, upstanding young man. Reminds me a bit of myself at his age. You know what they say about daughters and their old men, right, lovebug?" He called in to Judy.

"Always going for men like their fathers," Judy smiled at him setting the roast on the table and leaning over to kiss him when he leaned up towards her.

Quinn rolled her eyes, sitting down and crossing her legs at the knee. "My day was fine, Daddy... School, Cheerios, glee. Very busy." She smiled a fake grin and looked at her mother. "Sam is fine too, I went to see him after practice and we hung out at our friend's house and I watched them skateboard."

"Glee," he snorted shaking his head as he carved a portion off the roast for himself, cutting much daintier pieces for his wife and daughter. "I still don't know why you bother with that bunch of misfits. But I'm glad Sam is doing well, even if I find skateboarding to be a little juvenile for a young man of his age."

Quinn's stomach growled and she looked at the plate with a scant amount of food. She just drank her water and looked up, "Glee is fun, Daddy," she explained. "It makes me feel good about myself and I like to sing. It will look good on my college applications too."

"Well, you should know," he pointed at her with his fork, a piece of meat skewered on the end, "I'm only tolerating you being in it because your boy, Sam, is there to keep you safe. I don't trust those people around my baby girl. Especially not that Berry girl with her unnatural family." He shook his head with a scowl as he ate the bite off his fork. "It's disgusting."

"Her fathers are nice, daddy." she said softly, "They go to every performance and bring us cookies and stuff..." she stabbed a piece if her salad and chewed it. "I just... Sam is very nice to me and he's there and he's made a lot of friends. It's very sweet."

"My daughter will _not_ associate with that abomination of a family, Lucy!" He pounded his hand on the table, glaring at her. "I am _tolerating_ your being in your little club with that girl but do not push me, young lady. If I hear about you associating with those disgusting excuses for men again, I will have you out of that club and the entire thing eliminated from the school. Do you understand me? Fabrays do not associate with _filth_!"

"Okay, Daddy," she whispered and looked down at her plate before looking up to her mother. "I won't be around her anymore... She's not nice anyway and I don't like her." she sighed and ran her hand against her neck, "But Sam wants me there and I want to support him."

"And that is why I tolerate it," Russell nodded with a genial smile, his earlier bad mood seemingly vanished. "A woman should support her man. It's good you're learning so early. Sam will make a fine addition to this family when the boy finally gets his gumption and asks for your hand."

"He might not, Daddy. We might just be for high school... He might not go to college." she said softly as she ate around her meat. "I don't think that we should be pressured to being married. Right, mom?"

Judy looked up from where she was more pushing her food around the plate and sipping her gin and tonic to smile at her child. "Quinnie, dear, no one's pressuring you. Daddy's just saying that Sam would be a good choice. And of course he'll go to college. A bright boy like him and such a good athlete? He's certain to get a scholarship to Ohio State at least."

"Maybe... I don't know." she sighed and rubbed her scraped up elbow. "I hope he goes, he's better than Lima..."

"Of course he will," Russell nodded, turning back to the plate. In his mind, the matter was settled and there was no more discussing it. Judy just nodded and turned her gaze back to her drink with a blank smile.

"You're right, Daddy," she agreed without conviction as she pushed her food around on her plate, knowing that if she ate it all her father would scold her. She was thankful she had a burger with Sam and Blaine after school but she was still hungry. Quinn just rubbed her elbow from where she fell while skateboarding and let the room fall into a silence that Quinn was almost comforted in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Santana's fingers ached as she pressed them harder and harder into the door of her locker, but she couldn't look away from the disgusting display down the hall. She hated seeing them like that, all lovey-dovey and crap. _She_ was the one Brittany was supposed to smile at like that, not _Stubbles McCripplepants_!

She slammed her locker closed finally with a barely restrained scream of frustration. She was pissed but there was no way she could yell at Brittany about it. The girl would just look sad and confused and not get it at _all_ and Santana would feel even _worse_ and that simply wasn't acceptable.

She stormed off down the hall, slamming into someone because she wasn't really watching where she was going. "Ugh, watch where the hell you're going, Trouty Mouth!" She snarled, shoving the bigger boy back. "People are trying to walk here!"

"And good morning to you too, Santana," Sam smirked at her, used to her insults and having long ago decided not to take any offense at them. "I'm doing well, how about you?"

"Whatever. Why don't you go polish some baby heads or make out with Fabgay or something and stop bothering me?" She huffed, folding her books tighter to her chest and trying to shoulder past him. She didn't see Quinn turning the corner in time to witness the whole thing. "I don't have time for you this morning, Guppy Lips."

"Santana!" Quinn snapped as she came over to Sam, "go take your PMS elsewhere and leave my boyfriend alone." she crossed her arms over her uniform and stared at the darker cheerleader.

Santana sneered at her. "Back the fuck off, Fabgay. I am in no mood for your self-righteous bullshit right now. Froggy Lips here got in _my_ way and I've been telling him to avoid it in the future. Now back off me before I show you how we do it in Lima Heights Adjacent."

"Guys, come on now," Sam smiled nervously, edging slightly away, "don't fight..."

Quinn narrowed her eyes, "Don't call me that! And your dad's a doctor. Your grandma lives in Lima Heights, not you, you privileged idiot."

Santana's eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared slightly. "Don't you talk about my _abuelita_ like you know her, bitch. You think you're so high and mighty but step in my way and I will cut you down."

Quinn just rolled her eyes and shoulder checked Santana as she headed away down the hall. "Whatever, Lopez."

"Oh that's _it_!" Santana threw her books to the ground and grabbed Quinn's shoulder, digging her nails in and yanking her around. "You think you're so special, but you're nothing but a damn bottle-blonde, wanna-be perfect, little _bitch_!"

She hauled off to slap Quinn across the face, at once angry and grateful to having something to think about other than how awful seeing Brittany and Artie together made her feel. Quinn always made a perfect target for her rage, never backing down and as willing to give into the fight as she was.

"Bitch," Quinn spat as she threw her books down and pushed the girl into the lockers, "don't fucking hit me. I'm your captain and stronger than you so don't even try." she looked at her and glared.

"We're fucking _co_-captains and you might be _bigger_ but you're sure as hell not stronger!" Santana struggled against Quinn's grip on her shoulders, bringing a knee up hard into Quinn's stomach and reaching up to pull her hair.

"Guys, come on! This ain't cool!" Sam yelled, but didn't even try to get in the middle.

With a loud growl, Quinn held her stomach and looked at Santana. "Don't ever touch me." she spat as she grabbed the girl and threw her down to the ground.

Santana scrambled to her feet, "More like I gotta try to keep _you_ from touching _me_, right, Fabgay?" she sneered, rushing at Quinn again.

Quinn pulled out of the way and laughed as Santana hit the lockers. "Please, you're the one that no one wants in the locker room. Everyone knows you're always checking out the girls and crying over Brittany!"

"Fuck you, Fabray!" Santana screamed, lunging at Quinn, no longer fighting with any plan, just wildly lashing out at what hurt her, Quinn suddenly representing everything that was wrong with her life. "Just shut the fuck up!"

At every lunge Quinn pushed the girl away, "God, could you stop? You're gonna lose!" she pushed Santana against the lockers and pinned her. "Calm your hormones!"

She couldn't see anymore she was so lost in her rage. She pushed against the locker, struggling against Quinn but the taller cheerleader had both leverage and strength over her. "Fuck you!" she sobbed, not even aware of the tears trickling down her face as she tried to grab Quinn. "You think you know everything! Think you're better than me but you're not! You're not better!"

Sam had managed to find Puck in the time it took Quinn to pin Santana to the lockers and the two boys came over and got a grip on the struggling girl. "We got her, Q. You can let up."

"Dude, chill out," Puck hissed, fighting to keep Santana in check. "You think we want you to get suspended? Come on, let's get out of here before a teacher gets here."

Quinn glared at the smaller girl and the shoved her before pulling away. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder before stalking down the hall. Quinn ducked into the auditorium and slunk to the ground, she couldn't catch her breath the couldn't see through the haze of her rage. Her heart was beating so hard that she was dizzy from the excess blood coursing through her body.

Blaine glanced back down the hall at where Sam and Puck were hauling Santana down the hall before ducking into the auditorium after Quinn. He scanned the dark room before coming over and sliding down to sit next to her. "I saw what happened. You okay?" His voice was soft, trying to calm her down instead of spark another fight.

"I don't know why she needs to start shit with me!" Quinn exclaimed, "I just... She pisses me off and fucking always calls me gay when I'm not!" she growled and looked at her friend.

"Hey, that's just how she is. You've known her a lot longer than me, but even I can tell she picks fights because she's hurt." He reached over and rubbed Quinn's shoulder, "And, dressed like this," he tried teasing, "you've got to admit are a _little_ gay, right?" He smiled, hoping she wouldn't try to take his head off for it.

"Even in a skirt, I'm not gay... Just forced to be a fucking girl," She grumbled, "My dad fucking made me go back and shave this morning! Do you know how embarrassing it is to get checked by your father if you're being a 'proper' girl?" She sighed, "God, I hoped being outted by the jolly green giant would calm her the fuck down."

He shrugged, "Would it have calmed you down? If Finn yelled at you to just be a man instead of acting like a dyke or something equally offensive in the hall out there? I know I wouldn't be very calm after that and I am out. Being outted before you're ready just makes it hurt more, Quinn. And it sounds to me like you were looking for a fight too."

"She just pisses me off, okay?" Quinn snapped as she ran her palms against her skirt. "Santana... Santana just annoys the hell out of me and pushes me all the damn time. You think that if she actually thought I was gay she'd back off and leave me alone. Or at least try to be civil!"

Blaine tried not to laugh, but he couldn't resist a tiny smirk, "Maybe she just wants in your spankies and doesn't want to admit it?"

"She's a dyke, she doesn't want my junk," Quinn said almost regretfully. "Shouldn't you be sneaking around with Sam?"

"That term is really offensive, Q, and Sam's busy containing the Wild Santana Outbreak with Puckerman right now." He shrugged, "Besides, she thinks you're a girl. So what if she's wrong?"

"One, she's crazy and not at all hot," Quinn pointed out as she looked at the boy. "Second, she's gay and not into dudes or freaks. Plus, it's Santana Lopez! She hates me and always wants to beat me at everything."

Blaine just looked at Quinn for a long moment with an infuriating smirk, running his tongue against his cheek. "You're certainly finding an awful long list of reasons why she couldn't possibly like you, Q. You know, I'm just saying." He held his hands up innocently, "So she's not at all hot and if you were, um... complete... you wouldn't be having an awkward moment after that little throwdown?"

"Blaine Former-Warbler, don't." she said as she reached over and stole his sweater from his bag. "I'm cold and you should keep that curly head in reality and figure out how to get the super gay off your ass so you and Sam can be adorable together."

"Please, brother," Blaine snorted in his best Kurt imitation, "we are _already_ adorable together and I'll be fine once he goes off to New York and his silly acting school with Rachel." He stood up and offered a hand to his bro, "Now we just got to find you a sexy lady who likes a pretty man like you for you to be adorable with."

"Maybe we will just have to wait until college and find someone who likes a freak or is just too stupid to realize that I was born a chick." Quinn said softly and looked down at her hands.

"Quinn, stop that," he sighed, staring at her for a moment before reaching down and hauling her up. "You're not a freak. Unless you like being tied up and whipped or, like, having hot wax dripped on you or something. That's kinda freaky. But _you_ being _you_ isn't freaky. Who cares how you're shaped? Besides, if you were into guys, you know Sam and I would both totally go for you."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Sam would only like me because he's bisexual." she pointed out, "You... you are just strange," she teased, "and gross really I don't wanna know what you and Sam do when I leave."

Blaine laughed, "If you were into guys, you'd want to know!" He waggled his brows at her, grinning. "Come on, unlike us, your sexy ass can get married once the paperwork gets straightened out, so stop feeling like such a freak and try being proud of yourself." He smirked at her, "Don't make me kiss you."

"God, please don't!" She laughed and pushed him away, "Just because I'm your boyfriend's beard doesn't give you allowances over me!" She smiled and grabbed her bag, "Thanks for coming to fine me, bowtie boy."

He straightened his bowtie with a grin, "Anytime, Q. You're coming out with Sam and I to get you fitted up tonight for this weekend still, right?"

"Yeah, my dad thinks I'm going out on a date with Sam so I don't need to be home until 11 tonight." she said, relieved to be away from her house for the night. "Sam said I could change at his after school and we can bounce."

"Awesome," he grinned and nodded. "I found a place that can set you up with a real binder instead of those slightly too small tanks of yours too. You're gonna almost totally pass for once, Q."

"You just wish you could fit into an extra small, Blaine." she said as she headed out into the hall, avoiding the glares being thrown by Kurt. "Dear God, it's been like months you think he'd grow up."

Blaine leaned in and whispered in her ear, "I bet he's wishing I fit into an extra small now too," before leaning back with a smirk.

Quinn laughed as they passed the boy, "Dude, how you even got into him astounds me. He's wound tighter than Berry!"

He laced his fingers together and stretched with a pleased smile, "Trade secret, padawan. Let's just say the lady likes a firm hand and leave it at that, shall we?"

"Oh, sweet God." Quinn covered her ears and saw Sam and more or less ran over to him and into his arms. "Your boy toy is hurting my head," she whispered and glared at Blaine who was still laughing. "Dirty, dirty gays."

Sam just laughed and cuddled her. "Aw, don't worry about big bad Blaine, sweetheart. I'll protect you."

It was easy pretending to be a couple because they trusted each other, so the ruse held for another day. Despite Santana glaring across the room at Sam. Or Quinn. Probably Quinn. Almost definitely. She didn't have any reason to glare at _Sam_ after all. Even if the way he kept his big stupid boy arm over Quinn's shoulders like that was so gross.

* * *

><p>Blaine opened the door for Sam and Quinn with a smile. "Oh, wow... that's," he looked over Quinn's skater attire, taking in his slim hips and the slight swell of breasts barely hidden by his loose v-neck and the awkwardly placed bulge in his crotch. "That's..." he fumbled for a good descriptive phrase.<p>

"A start?" Sam offered helpfully.

"Yes, perfect." Blaine pointed at him like he'd just won a big prize. "A start. It's a lovely start, Quinn, but tonight," he stepped out of the house, closing the door behind him as he finished pulling on his peacoat, "we're going to take that start and show you how to turn it into a big finish."

"Alright. Can we just get out of Lima?" Quinn asked as he played with the beanie covering his head. They waked to Blaine's car and Quinn slid in the back, keeping his knees apart and resting his hand against his bulge.

"Okay, Q, first lesson of the night," Blaine began, starting up the car as Sam got in the passenger seat and everyone buckled up, glancing at Quinn via the rearview, "hands off the package unless you're _trying_ to bring attention to it. You don't see Sam or I or any of the guys - with the possible exception of Puckerman, which I think is an excellent case in point - with their hands on their junk do you?"

"Dude's got a point, Q. The more hands on you are, the more people are gonna think you're playing like pocket pool or something," Sam shrugged, moving so he could wrap an arm around the headrest and look at Quinn while staying buckled up.

"You get yours twenty four seven. I get mine tops like four hours a day. It shifted when I sat and I was getting it to the right spot!" Quinn said defensively.

"Yo, chill, Q-man," Sam held up his hands defensively.

Blaine glanced at Quinn via the rearview again, "You know, after tonight, you won't have to worry about that as much. I bet with a proper packer and harness so it won't slide around that much."

"Yeah, finally get you some actual balls," Sam teased, reaching back to nudge Quinn's knee.

"Still sucks that I can't wear it all the time..." he slumped his posture in the back seat and looked out the window, obviously not interested in talking anymore. Quinn had headed home after practice and before going to change at Sam's only to get yelled at by her mother. He wasn't happy and he had stopped pretending to be a while back. He just existed and was angry.

"Hey, just a couple more months and we're out of here, right?" Blaine tried smiling back him via the rearview. "I mean, you got into Ohio State the same as Sam and I, right? We'll be like the Three Musketeers, only you'll be the only one wooing the ladies."

"Oh, hey, isn't this the place?" Sam asked, pointing to a fairly nondescript looking storefront.

"Sure is," Blaine pulled into the parking lot and threw the car into park.

Sam jumped out and yanked open Quinn's door. "Come on, Utena, time for the princess to become the prince so you can track down your own Rose Bride."

"Sam, you have somehow managed to combine gay and dork into one muscle bound, highly attractive package," Blaine patted his shoulder, shaking his head at the anime reference. "Congratulations."

"Thanks, dude!" Sam grinned before sobering, "Wait, was that not a compliment?"

"You're both insane," Quinn laughed as he got out of the car and headed to the store. "I'm not gonna get the shit kicked out of me and dead like in _Boys Don't Cry_, right?" he asked softly as he glanced worriedly at his friends.

"Anyone tries and I'll beat the homophobe outta them," Sam pointed out, flexing his impressive biceps.

"While I call the cops and maybe some of the Warblers for backup," Blaine added, throwing an arm around Quinn's shoulders. He pushed open the door and led Quinn into the sex shop he'd brought him to.

The woman in the tight shirt behind the counter looked up from her textbook and smiled. "Oh, hey, guys," she closed her book and stood up straight. "That your boy Quinn? Nice." She held out a hand to the boy, "I'm Kelly."

Quinn shook her hand. "What's up?" he smiled as he checked out the girl with what he thought was a sly glance.

"Guess that depends on what model you'd like to pack," she replied with a wink. "I can't believe these two homos brought a nice guy like you in here," she teased, obviously familiar with the two guys. "So, you looking to look even hotter or what?" She smirked at Quinn, crossing her arms over her textbook and leaning towards him in a way that enhanced the cleavage peeking out from under her forest green polo.

"Well, despite these boys... I'm the actual man in the group so I'd like to be able to prove that," Quinn said as he moved closer to the counter. "What's a girl like you doing working here? I expected an obese middle aged man, not a fine girl like you." Behind him, Blaine had to elbow Sam to keep him from laughing at Quinn's fairly heavy-handed flirting.

"Would you believe my uncle owns this place?" She smiled at Quinn, ignoring the faces Sam and Blaine were making behind the young man as she flirted back, amused by his attempts. "It's just a job to help make a little money, but hey, gotta say I meet the most interesting people. After all," she shifted her hips and toyed with a bit of hair that slipped over her shoulder, "you're here."

"Well, I'm glad I got dragged by my boys here then," he smiled and looked over his shoulder. "Stop being douches," he said softly before turning back to Kelly with what he hoped was a suave smirk. "So what's this thing I'm looking at?" he asked shoving his hands in his pocket.

"Well, your boys there say you need help with a binder - though," she reached out and slid a finger down the center of his chest, "I think you're pretty hot as is - and a real unit to work with. If you want," she smirked, not bothering to hide the slow scan she did of his body, "I could help you pick it out..."

"I never had an issue passing up top," he said softly with a shiver. "Can... can I see the options for the, um... unit?"

"Oh, we have lots of options for a fine man like you," Kelly smirked, coming out from around the corner in her polo and tight shorts. "How about you follow me and come," she paused slightly with a smirk over her shoulder, "see what feels right... to you?"

"All, um, alright," Quinn stammered and looked back for his friends, only to find that Blaine had dragged Sam off to look at massage oils and keep him from making Quinn feel any more self-conscious.

Kelly laughed softly. "Don't worry, Quinn. I might play, but you're safe here. Let's just find you what you need to be complete, okay?" She smiled at Quinn, trying to reassure him. "And hey, maybe the next time we meet, neither of us will be working. Could be fun, don't you think?"

"I think I'm going out with homoexplosion over there tomorrow night," he said as his fingers ran over the toys on the wall. "You could come check it out... "

"Maybe I will," Kelly smirked. "But only if you'll promise me a dance if I do. Not everyday I get to have such a handsome guy to dance with." She picked up a Goodfella and offered it to Quinn, "How about this?" She smirked with a slight wink, "Cover all angles, if you know what I mean."

Quinn took it and held it for weight and size. "It's not too big?" he asked, "I mean I wanna be like proportional..." he held it down towards his junk and smiled. "If I buy it can I wear it now? It's not gonna look like I'm hard all the time right?"

"Well, a little bit," she admitted, "but I'm sure you can handle it." She winked at him, "We'll need to get you a harness to hold it properly, but as long as you pay, I don't have any problem with it."

"I think I might need a hand putting it on." he smirked as he looked at her trying to flirt, but failing. "I guess I could ask Sam..."

Kelly laughed, selecting a harness that would fit the dildo and be comfortable enough for Quinn to wear much longer than an average sex session and tossing it to him. "Quinn, you may be hot, but you'd have to buy me a nice dinner and a bottle of wine or at least a drink before I'll help you play with yourself," she teased with a smirk. "I'm sure your boys would know more about how to handle that joystick than I would." She leaned close, whispering in his ear, "After all, most of my experience is with it deep inside and you're not quite there yet, cowboy." She slapped his ass as she stepped past him. "Don't forget to pay either!"

Quinn groaned as he watched the woman walk away. "Samuel!" Quinn hollered and tore the packaging off. "I need your help."

Sam ducked around the corner with Blaine in tow, walking up to him with a knowing smirk. "So you and Kelly, huh?"

"Come on, Q, dressing room's back this way." Blaine added, holding up a binder shirt he'd found and ignoring his boyfriend, "Let's transform you."

"Shut up and help me strap this on." he said as he pulled off his pants once inside the room. He pulled the harness out if the package and looked at it. He pulled down his boxers and looked away awkwardly. "Alright, I know this goes under so pardon my pubes."

"Quinn, seriously, just strip," Blaine huffed, rolling his eyes. "We're all guys here and I for one am not at all interested in girl you. You need to put this on anyway," he tossed him the t-shirt style binder as he started figuring out how to get the dildo Quinn had selected fastened to the harness.

Quinn rolled his eyes and pulled off his shirt which pulled off her hat and caused her hair to cascade over her shoulders. "Alright, binder and dick time."

"Just put it on like a regular shirt," Blaine explained, having read the instructions, "it'll be really tight but that's the compress- Sam, are you okay?"

"I, um, I," he stammered, standing awkwardly hunched over and backing towards the door with binder's packaging in front of his crotch, "I gotta go, um... Pay! Yeah, I'm gonna go pay. It'll be like my gift to my bro for finally getting some balls." Smiling awkwardly, he rushed out of the room.

"Okay, so maybe just I am not interested. Okay," he knelt in front of her, holding up the harness so he could step in, "let's get this on you. You'll learn to get it on yourself but a little birdy told me sometimes first-timers need help and I'm pretty sure this is how it works."

"Thanks." Quinn nodded as he stepped into the harness and helped as Blaine brought it up and helped him secure it around slim hips. Quinn looked down and ran his hand over it with a smile. "Does it look okay?" Quinn asked as he struggled to get the compression tee on.

Blaine adjusted how the dildo was sitting so the balls hung more naturally. As he stood, he helped him finish pulling the compression tee down so the hem covered most of the straps of the harness and just let his cock stand out. He smirked and quickly caught up his hair in a low pony at the base of his neck before gesturing towards the full length mirror. "See for yourself."

He watched him look at himself for a moment before quietly asking, "So...what do you think of the real you?"

Quinn beamed when he saw the penis between his legs. "Hot," he smiled as he ran his hand over it and adjusted so his fine blonde pubic hair brushed against the base. "I love it," he said as he grabbed his boxers and slid them on and readjusted his dick so it didn't look so much like he had a boner in his shorts and grabbed the jeans. He pulled them on and fastened the belt before throwing on his t-shirt and and looking at Blaine once his beanie was secured again. "Would you fuck me if I was gay?"

Blaine laughed, "Haven't we already had this conversation, Q? You could be the filling of a sandwich with Sam and I." He winked, "Why don't you try the new you out on Kelly? She seems to like you."

"Speaking of Sam, you might wanna go check on your boy... I think my lady bits gave him some wood," he joked as he adjusted his unit and headed out if the room to saunter up to the register. His walk was awkward for a few steps - having a dick between your legs wasn't something you got used to right away - but after a bit he started to move with more ease and confidence. Quinn slid up to the counter and smiled at Kelly. "Hey," he said as he looked at the girl.

Kelly turned to look at him, letting out a low whistle as she moved from behind the counter to look him up and down with a slow smile, her eyes lingering for a moment on the bulge in the crotch of his jeans. "Damn, I thought you couldn't become a finer specimen of man than you were but it looks like I was wrong. You _better_ be saving me that dance tomorrow now. I'd get all sad if I showed up and couldn't get through the throngs on girls hanging off you."

"I mean, I can't turn away a girl who knows exactly what I'm packing," Quinn winked and looked over to Sam as he slid over closer to Kelly. "Doing okay over there, Sam?" he asked with a smartassed tone. "Need Blaine to help you out in the car while I talk to the lovely proprietor of this place?"

Sam flipped him off but grabbed Blaine and all but dragged the dapper boy out, taking care to keep his crotch hidden from Kelly and Quinn. Kelly laughed to see them head off, "Give your boy a problem there, Quinn?" She leaned back against the counter, inviting the young man into her space, "So what did you want to talk about?"

Nervously, Quinn rested his arms on ether side of the woman and stood in front of her. He was slightly taller than Kelly which gave him some confidence. "Sam wants my dick," Quinn shrugged as he kept a safe distance from the girl, not wanting to offend her by moving in too strong, "but other than that... I wanted to talk about us dancing tomorrow night."

"Oh, do you now?" Kelly murmured, cocking her head to the side with a tiny smile. "Why don't you come closer and we could...discuss it?"

Quinn took a step and ended up with his hips flush against Kelly's. "How's that?" he said softly, he was shaking he was so nervous but he needed to see what he could do.

"Mmm," she hummed softly, smiling at him and reaching up to carefully rest her arms loosely around Quinn's neck. "I like that. Guys should always be bold, Quinn," she whispered, watching him. "Not _too_ bold - don't force yourself where you're not wanted - but never be afraid to take the step to close in when the girl is inviting you in."

"Okay," he nodded, taking the opportunity to learn, he slid his hands from the counter to her hips all while watching her eyes to make sure he wasn't crossing a line. "You're really beautiful." he offered as he hooked his fingers into Kelly belt loops.

"Thank you and very good," Kelly breathed, smiling up at him. "You're a fast learner," she stepped into him, letting the line of her body press up against his, "I like that in a man." She let a hand slide down to rest on his chest over his heart, "So what did you want to talk about with this dance?"

"I think I'd rather not talk, if that's cool?" he asked as he held her closer and moved closer to press a feather light kiss to her lips. He was scared that she'd push him away, but he wasn't sure when he'd get a chance at kissing someone who didn't seem to care that he was different.

"That's very cool," she whispered, tugging him closer and leaning up to kiss him softly. "Do you like me?"

"I think you're sexy." he said before moving to kiss her neck. "I think that I like kissing you."

"Mmm that's good," she murmured, "but if you like a girl and she let's you kiss her, you should show her with how you kiss." She moved her head to the side to let Quinn kiss along her neck. "Be a man, Quinn. Be strong and firm and don't be afraid to show her that you're interested. Listen to her if she tells you to stop, but use every inch she gives you to show her you're not just a man but the man she wants to take her home if that's what you want to do."

Quinn nodded and moved away from the soft skin if Kelly's neck to look into her eyes. He leaned in and pressed their lips together for a second before sliding his tongue against the pale pink lips and tilting his head.

She kissed back, helping him learn and teaching with tiny nudges in the right direction until she was feeling breathless then pulled back. "Stop," she murmured with a tiny smile, her hand on his chest gently pressing him back, "I'm at work and anyone could walk in."

"Mostly just my dumbass friends," he mumbled dejectedly as he pulled away but kept holding her close, almost attached at the hips. "Am..I okay? I'm not that experienced," Quinn blushed regretfully, hating to admit that he was not very sexually experienced to a pretty girl. Sure he dated Finn and Sam for pretense, but he'd never wanted anything to happen with either of them.

"You're a fast learner," she said softly, gently running her hands over the smooth plane of his chest. "But I want to make something clear up front. I like you, Quinn. You're cute and sweet, but neither of us are looking for relationships right now. This is just for fun, okay? I'd like to see if we could be friends and I don't want jealousy messing it up. We're free to be with others but when we're not, we can have fun. Are you okay with that?"

"yeah... That's cool I guess." He shrugged, "Plus I'm not the best boyfriend material anyway so just playing around is cool with me."

"No, you're not understanding," she looked up at him. "You're just starting out and I'm the first person to show interest but, trust me, I'm awful at commitment. You need to be available if you find someone you really want to go after. I'm willing to teach you, Quinn. In fact," she smirked, leaning up to kiss him quickly, "I kinda like the idea of being the older woman who teaches the young, inexperienced man..."

"How very _The Graduate_ of you," he smiled and pressed a kiss to her lips, "I like the idea of you teaching me," he smirked and pulled away. "Plus, you're sexy so it's a win for me."

"Oh aren't you just clever," Kelly laughed, hopping up on the counter. "I like being considered sexy, that's a very good thing to tell a girl. We love compliments after all. You are already looking towards being quite the ladykiller, Quinn." She reached out and cupped Quinn's chin, smiling at him, "So, what was that about dancing?"

"You wanna come meet up with me and the guys?" he asked, stepping in between her legs and running his hands up her thighs to rest on her khaki shorts. "I can promise that I'm a great dancer."

"Oh can you?" She smirked, raking her nails over his hair, "I do like dancing and I think I would definitely like dancing with you. Shall we consider it a date then? Friends only, but can't fault the terminology."

"I think I can manage that," he smiled and let his eyes flutter closed at the feeling of nails against his scalp. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"You'll see me tomorrow," she agreed, her hands sliding down his back to slip one of the shop's business cards with her cell number and email scribbled on the back into his back pocket before giving his ass as squeeze. "I think you should be getting back to your friends now, don't you?"

Quinn rolled his eyes. "Probably," he leaned in and kissed her again, gently nipping at her lip as he pulled away. He untangled their bodies and smirked at Kelly before heading out of the store.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The ride back to Sam's place would have been unbearable with all the ribbing he was getting about Kelly, but what the boys had been up to out in the car while he'd been inside talking was fairly obvious. He'd come out to see Blaine shooting up from where he'd been leaning over Sam in the passenger seat. Sam was hurriedly fussing with his pants as Quinn climbed into the backseat with a smirk.

After that, they really hadn't had anything to say that he couldn't counter with what had obviously happened. They'd grabbed a pizza and spent the rest of the night hanging out before Quinn had regrettably had to change back into Lucy and head home. Luckily, Russell had just hugged her and sent her to bed with a proud smile - having assumed his daughter had been out with her boyfriend on a good date.

Finally though, after an achingly long Saturday morning Cheerios practice, it was time to go over to Sam's for their big night out. Russell'd given her a big hug and slipped Sam a hundred with a wink that'd completely creeped his child out, but for the most part leaving had been easy enough. Blaine had shown up a few minutes later with Quinn's duffel bag and a dry cleaning bag that he refused to talk about until Quinn got changed.

Quinn got suited up in his binder and unit tucked into his tight black boxer briefs. He looked at the other boys who were in various stages of undress and smiled before putting on one deodorant a rubbed some Polo Blue cologne on his neck. "What am I wearing, Blaine?" Quinn asked as she watched Blaine roll up his pants with no socks.

"Something classic," he smiled knowingly, shrugging into his button up shirt and picking up the dry cleaning bag before handing it to Quinn to unzip. "Be careful with the jacket, please. It belonged to my uncle." Inside the bag was a pair of dark gray flat-front trousers and a black leather jacket. "I figured that those silly black skater sneakers you like so much would go with it and your top there."

"You sure this will be okay?" he asked as he took the pants out of the bag and slid them on. Quinn was thankful that Blaine es the same size as him and they shared clothing most of the time since Quinn only owned some jeans and t-shirts. He grabbed his belt from the jeans and wound it through the loops and fastened the buckle that locked like a seatbelt. "I shouldn't wear another shirt?"

Blaine just smirked. "Finish getting dressed and tie your hair back then try looking in the mirror and you tell me."

Quinn rolled his eyes and tied his hair back into a low ponytail, "Hey, Sam? Can I have some scissors?" he asked as he held onto his hair at the shoulder.

Sam looked over nervously, "Um, you sure that's a good idea, Q? Your old man would get beyond pissed if you cut your hair..." But he picked up the scissors from his desk drawer, holding them uncertainly.

"Look... My dad can suck it." Quinn said as he put the elastic tight at the base of his skull. "I'm just gonna make it shoulder length, it's hard to feel like a dude if I'm looking like a member of a 80's metal band."

"Well, um," Sam hurried up and buttoned up his jeans before grabbing the scissors off his desk again and hurrying over, "at least let me do it. Trust me, it's totally obvious when you cut it yourself."

"Thank you," he whispered as he presented the ponytail. "Just the end okay? I don't want to die when I go home," he explained as he closed his eyes and waited to hear the snip.

Sam caught his tongue between his lips and carefully cut as evenly as he could across the spot he'd indicated. "I still think long hair looked good on you. Kelly sure didn't seem to mind," he teased as he finished cutting, Blaine grabbing the waistbin he'd shoved behind Quinn at the last moment with the strands of blond hair in it and stuffing them into a baggie just in case they were wanted later.

"I can handle shoulder length, Sam... Not how it was." he said softly as he an his hand through his hair and smiled and gathered his hair into a ponytail and tied it at the base of his skull. "I feel better now."

Sam laughed, tossing the scissors back into the drawer and finishing getting dressed before smirking at Quinn. "You just want to imagine Kelly yanking on it as you drill her, I bet."

"Seriously, Sam," Blaine groused, slicking his hair back in the mirror, "that is so crude."

"You love it," he smirked at his boyfriend.

Blaine came over and traced a hand up his neck. "I'll show you what I love," and pulled him down into a kiss, Sam's hands sliding down to palm his ass through his tight jeans.

"Oh God, homos!" Quinn groaned as he turned away and slid the leather jacket on. "Stop humping... I'm already gonna have to deal with you and your grabby hands when I drive you drunk boys home tonight."

Blaine laughed, pulling away. "You know you'll be watching in the rearview."

"And are you sure you won't be going home with Kelly?" Sam asked with a smirk, drawing her name out teasingly.

"Doubt it," Quinn stated as he looked to make sure he looked okay. "Kelly and I are just friends..."

"Dude, you just met her and you're already _friends_?" Sam smirked, "What happened to no girls would ever get into me?"

"And look at yourself, Q," Blaine pointed out. "Do you see any girl there?"

"Well, she did make out with me while you getting sucked off in the car," Quinn stated as he grabbed his Star Wars wallet from his backpack and shoved it in his back pocket. He looked in the mirror and smiled a genuine grin, "I look like me."

"Exactly," Blaine grinned, coming up behind him and grabbing his shoulders, pointing him towards the door, "And tonight you're gonna be you all over the club."

"Let's go have some _fun_!" Sam whooped, pumping the air as the guys headed out to the car.

* * *

><p>Quinn was nervous as they headed into the busy bar. The music thumped loudly while the boys headed over to the bar. He ordered three beers for them and paid with his father's money shooting a smile at Sam before handing him the drink. He took a sip and looked around the room, various couples were dancing and the rest of the patrons seemed to be having a good time. When he didn't see Kelly right away he started getting nervous, so he turned his back and leaned against the bar and nursed his drink.<p>

Slim arms slid around his waist and a slim, but decidedly feminine body - unlike the two guys who'd hit on him earlier - pressed into his back. "Hey there, big boy." A soft, familiar voice, low and seductive, breathed into his ear over the pulse of the music around them, "You don't look like you're having any fun. I thought you liked to dance?"

"I was waiting for a beautiful girl," he smiled and leaned back into Kelly's arms. Quinn took the final swig of his beer and dropped the empty glass on the counter. "Did you just get here?" Quinn asked as he turned around, his breath caught when he saw the short skirt and tank top the girl was wearing. "Damn," he cursed his eyes roamed over her.

"Like what you see?" She asked, giving a slow spin so he could take her all in with a smirk, "I've been here for a bit, but didn't really see anyone worth," she licked her lips, watching him, "playing with until you walked in." She looked up at him with an almost coy smile, "So, I seem to recall you promising something about a dance?"

"I did promise you that," he said as he slid his arms around her waist. "Think you can keep up with me?" he asked as he led her out to the floor and pressed himself into her body.

She laughed, sliding her hands down to grab his ass and squeeze, "That's funny, but I like a man with confidence." She began moving against him, rolling her hips into his, "Maybe I should be asking if you can keep up with me?"

Quinn laughed softly as he wrapped his arms around her neck and rolled his body with her, still trying it get male dance moves down. After a while Quinn leaned in awkwardly, "How... how am I doing? Am I dancing like a guy?" he was blushing and nuzzled her neck and pressed a light kiss to her skin.

"Don't ask how you're dancing, it shows you're nervous," Kelly whispered into his ear. "And you _are_ a guy so of course you're dancing like one. Just be confident and do what you want. I won't push you away."

He nodded and continued to move with the music, copying some of the moves he saw Blaine doing over Kelly's shoulder. Quinn's slid her hands down the girls back and slid to her ass. "You look really hot tonight."

"So do you," she ran her hands up to his neck, playing with the hair there for a moment before smirking and pulling him down into a hard kiss before moving to whisper in his ear. "You have permission, Quinn. Be a man and show me some of what you would do to me if I took you home tonight." As the last word left her lips, she bit gently at his earlobe.

In an instant, Quinn had pushed Kelly back to the bar and up against its polished length and fused their lips together. He kissed Kelly hard and unrelenting as he grasped her ass with his palms. His hips pressed into Kelly, the bulge in his pants rocking slightly against her core. She moaned softly into the kiss, sliding her hands back down to his ass to pull him closer.

Neither of them noticed the dark gaze watching them from a corner booth. She stirred her drink idly as she watched the brunette get all but fucked on the bar by the tall, moderately handsome new guy. It wasn't her normal fare - guys rarely did much for her - but she wasn't sure how she felt about her latest conquest moving on so quickly. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the lines of his body, memorizing them for the next time she saw him.

Maybe the woman thought she was good enough to catch two sessions in a night, but Santana Lopez had news for her. No one went for seconds after her and next time, she thought, leaning back in the booth with a smile, she'd make sure there weren't seconds to be found.

"Hey, you two!" The bartender snapped, flicking at them with a wound up bar towel, "Go get a room!"

Kelly smirked up at Quinn, her hands somehow having migrated to the lapels of his jacket, "That almost sounds like a good idea, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Quinn said breathlessly, "wanna go to the bathroom? Or my car?" he asked as he ground his unit into her core. "Let the boys have their fun while we have ours?"

"How about _my_ car?" She asked, pulling her keys out of her purse and holding them up with a smirk, "Just in case your boys are already _having_ their fun?"

Quinn nodded enthusiastically, pulling away and smiling as he tugged Kelly over to the door. He let the older woma drag him over to the four by four and climbed in. Sitting in the backseat, he slid back until he was pressed against the far door, one leg stretched out on the seat, the other foot on the floor, and smiled, "Come here."

Kelly laughed, crawling into the SUV and closing the door behind her so only the parking lot lights illuminated them. "My, you _are_ a fast learner, aren't you," she crawled across the seat until she could straddle the young man and smile down at him, pulling his ponytail out and playing with his hair for a moment. "Just to be clear up front, I don't want to go all the way with you tonight. But," she placed a finger over his lips to quiet his protests, smirking, "I'm not against making out for a while. If you want..."

"I want." he said as his hands slid up under her skirt, "How about I make you feel good?"

"Quinn," she chided softly, pushing his hands back down out of her skirt, "that would be going all the way. Trust me," she smiled, leaning down to brush her lips against his as she spoke, carefully placing his hands _above_ her skirt, "you can make me feel very good without doing any of that yet."

He pouted for a moment, "What can I do?" he asked softly as his lips pressed kisses to her neck.

"You can kiss me like that," she breathed, leaning back slightly and tilting her head to give him even better access to her neck. Licking her lips, she took his hands and settled them over her breasts on top of her shirt, "Maybe touch a little above the waist if you want... do you like how this," she moaned softly as he found a particularly nice spot on her neck, "how this feels?"

"Yes," he said as he massaged her chest with his hands, his hips rocking up to try to find friction. He nipped at her neck before sucking against the spot.

She tried to hold back a moan as his slacks brushed against her uncovered core, but it was hard. She was still sensitive and little tender where Santana had fucked her into the same backseat earlier and each brush of the erection contained by his pants against her core felt like electric fire rippling through her. "Oh wow," she hissed, unable to stop herself from grinding down into him, "you are a _really_ fast learner."

"Sure you don't wanna test drive it?" he husked.

She smirked down at him, fighting to control her breathing, "Not tonight, stud. But maybe someday." She leaned down and kissed him hard, nails raking across his scalp as she ran her fingers through his hair.

He moaned and held her down against his body. "You're not gonna blueball me, right?" he moaned as he rocked himself into her.

She couldn't stop the loud groan that slipped from her lips as his cock rubbed against her wet core still swollen from the rough sex she always got when she hooked up with Santana. Her nails dug into his scalp as she ground down against him, pressing his member down into his body. "Not the intention," she gasped, ripping a hand away from his head to push one of his hands down from her breast to the hem of her shirt, "under... under my shirt... Touch me, Quinn..."

Quinn quickly fumbled and got his hand under her shirt and pushed past her bra. He quickly flicked her nipple as he bit down on her lip trying to stifle his moans. He was close, as he reached his other hand down and pressed tightly to his dick before finding her hip and rocking into her.

"That's right," she gasped, rocking into him, her hands going up to hold the safety bar over his head, her chest pushing closer to his face as she ground down into him, her bare core soaking the front of his slacks, "just like that." Her nipple strained against his fingers, "Harder, Quinn. Pinch my nipples. Twist them. Oh God..."

Quinn groaned and twisted them roughly before arching up and squeaking. He panted and moaned as his orgasm washed over him. "Oh shit," he gasped as his body went tense.

She let out a groan that quickly spiraled up into a breathless gasp as her body arched into Quinn, grinding down into the bulge of his cock as she came harder than she'd expected. She could feel the moisture soaking into his pants as she came down from her high and slumped against him with a breathless laugh. "Still worried about blueballs?" she panted against his neck, her breath hot over his skin as her body pressed into his.

"I should have known you would follow through," he said as he held her on top of him. "Are you not wearing panties?" he asked as an after thought from how wet his thighs currently felt.

"I, um," she blushed, "please don't judge me, but... no. Why? Did you want them to take home?" she teased.

"No... I was just wondering." he said softly as he ran his finger over a hickey on her shoulder that didn't belong to him. "I should bounce." he said aloofly as he tried to slid out from under her.

"Oh," she whispered, "Yeah, I guess..." She didn't want to address why she felt rejected right then - if she'd thought he'd be the cuddler type or whatever it was - but she carefully climbed off of him, opening the door and climbing out of the car to straighten her skirt. Sex, making out - it was just fun for her, but she had a bad feeling she'd let it ruin what could have been a nice friendship again.

He climbed out and took her hand and kissed her lips softly. "Thank you," he whispered as he tired to not look at the kisses on her neck that he didn't make, "maybe I'll see you again?" he asked softly.

"I'd like that," she admitted softly. "Hey," she called out quietly as she heard his footsteps crunching the gravel back towards the club, "I told you just friends for a reason. I'm not girlfriend material. Not for someone like you." She licked her lips and smiled towards him, "I'm not nearly that worthy but you'll find someone. I know you will. Until then... I'm around."

"If we do this again... can it just be me that night?" he asked shyly. "I just wanna be special to you one night. And you're special too so I'd like that." he shrugged and turned and heads back into the club, taking a quick stop into the bathroom to use the hand dryer to dry the pants and headed back to the bar to find Blaine and Sam.

"Yeah," she whispered as he walked away. It was things like that that made her certain her snap decision that she wasn't good enough for anything more than a fuckbuddy for the man back at the shop was the right one. She wasn't special, she thought as she watched him walk away, but he was and he deserved someone that could match his willingness to give. As she watched the door to the club close behind him, and started to turn back to clean up the car, she felt a sudden rough thrust of fingers into her soaking channel.

"You think you can just go find a boy to fuck after _me_, Kelly?" Santana's voice was a familiar harshness in her ear as the angry girl shoved her into the car and pushed up her skirt. "It doesn't work like that. No one gets Santana Lopez's seconds for the night. You want more," she thrust into her hard as she shoved her across the seat, crawling into the car and pulling the door shut behind her, "then you come crawling back to _me_."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

As if the week wasn't bad enough with Russell apparently picking up a new "secretary" at work and not even trying to hide the fact that he was screwing her while insisting that Quinn "pretty up" so he could show her off to his friends, on Tuesday at Glee, Will Schuester got it into his greaseball head that the club needed to "work on their togetherness". And then promptly assigned Quinn and Santana to work on a song together. Judging by the glares the darker girl was shooting across the room, neither of them wanted to do this, but Will wasn't letting them wiggle out.

"Alright, whatever. Fabray, your gay ass is coming with me," Santana snapped, gathering up her books and stalking over to where Quinn was sitting beside Sam. "There ain't no way I'm staying here longer than I have to and you can freaking forget it if you want me to come to yours. So that means your ass is coming to the Heights with me after school so get your shit and let's go."

Quinn glared at her and sighed before she leaned over and kissed Sam softly and grabbed her books and stood up. "See you later." She said to Sam and waved at Blaine who was begrudgingly paired with Finn before leaning down and whispering in Sam's ear, "Don't kill Kurt okay?" she smiled and pulled away and headed out of the room with Santana on her heels. She went to her locker and pulled on her Letterman jacket, grabbing her bag and looking at Santana. "Want me to drive you or do you have a car today?"

"I thought about getting Daddy's Escalade this morning, but it's new and I'd rather not chip the paint," Santana shrugged, "and besides, Coach was already ready to blow a gasket about us eating over the weekend, so I ran. But we can take your car if it's here," she smirked at her former friend, knowing she wouldn't like the implication that she was lazier than Santana.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Feel free to run home too." She replied as she headed out to the parking lot, "I am still captain and you're still at the bottom of the pyramid so I'm less than worried about my standing with Coach." she tossed her newly cut hair over she shoulder and headed to her car wondering if Santana's pride would make her run or she would come and take a ride on the cold winter day.

"Because your bitch ass lied and told her I got a fucking boob job over the summer," Santana snapped, still bitter. "I still cannot believe you did that," she muttered, not looking at Quinn so she could keep denying how much it'd stung to have someone she'd thought was her friend do something like that to her. "Hope you fall off the pyramid and break your damn legs," she growled, angrily shoving her books into the backpack she'd grabbed out of her locker and throwing it on her back so she could run.

"Come on, get your ass in the car. How long are you gonna hold on to something that I've told you over and over that I never did?" Quinn grumbled as she waited for Santana. "It's freezing just come on and get in the damn car."

"Bullshit you never did it when you keep fucking _bringing it up_!" Santana snapped, glaring at her as she stalked past the car. "You're the only one who came out looking good, Quinn. Don't think I'm so dumb I don't notice that shit. I'm not Brittany for God's sake. Whatever. I don't give a fuck." She adjusted the backpack on her back so she could run relatively unimpeded. The stiff wind blowing through the parking lot already had the skin of her exposed legs under her cheerleading skirt feeling stiff and numb, but her pride would never let her give in to Quinn telling her to do something or admitting she needed help so she just started off jogging down the street.

Quinn groaned and got in her car, she slammed the door with anger. "No but fucking Brittany was the idiot who told about your tits, Santana." She sighed and slammed her palms against the steering wheel. She turned on the car and reved the engine, "Fucking Lopez." she mumbled as she headed to the other girl's house.

* * *

><p>When Santana finally got to her house nearly four miles away from the school, Quinn had been waiting for nearly forty minutes. Santana was shivering violently and chafing at her arms through her letter jacket, her legs nearly white with cold as she stumbled up the porch stairs, fumbling in her pockets with fingers that felt like blocks of ice for her keys. Her teeth were chattering so loud she couldn't hear Quinn shutting off her car or getting out behind her.<p>

Quinn wrapped her jacket around the girl, "Why are you so hard headed?" she asked softly as she helped Santana with the door. "I didn't want you to run. Look, I'm sorry for the crack about Cheerios, can we just call a truce?"

Santana tried to shrug but she was shivering too hard. A pained whimper left her lips as the comforting warmth of the house flowed over her in a painful wave of prickles as her abused flesh started warming back up. "F-fuck, it's cold," she chattered out as she stumbled in to curl up on the sofa, burrowing gratefully into the warmth of Quinn's jacket and breathing the familiar scent of the girl in.

Quinn might be someone who could push her buttons faster than anyone else she'd ever met, but there was also something about her that could calm Santana down when she was her most stressed. She didn't get it - she didn't even try to think about it too much - but she couldn't deny it either. Whenever it crossed her mind enough to wonder, she usually just shrugged it off and tried to mark it up to childhood memories of the other girl holding her when she was crying over a skinned knee as a little kid. Even though she'd finally started coming out to people as a lesbian, she didn't want to be _that_ lesbian. The one with a crush on her straight friend.

"Whatever," she finally muttered, shrugging out of the jacket as the feeling became less pain and more warmth flowing through her. "Are we doing this or what?" She looked at Quinn for a moment and then the clock before stomping back into the kitchen. "Mami and Papi are busy at work tonight and there ain't no way I'm dealing with your ass sober so," she came back accompanied by the sounds of bottles clinking as she held up two four packs of wine coolers, "Cherry or Sangria?"

"Start with the cherry." Quinn sighed as she took the four pack. "Can I like change into like actual clothing? You might want to as well since you look like you're gonna turn into a popsicle." She said as she looked at her duffel bag.

"Sure, you if you want." Santana shrugged as cracked open a bottle and took a hefty swig, carrying the other pack with her up to her room. "Come on up. We can start trying to figure out something to do for this lame ass assignment while we change."

Once up the stairs, Quinn smiled at the dark hue of her former friend's room. "I kinda missed your lair, San." She smiled as she put her backpack down on the desk chair. She put her duffel bag down and looked through the contents. She knew she couldn't put on any of her jeans and she sighed and pulled out a pair of yoga pants. She pulled them on under her skirt and then unzipped her skirt and pulled it off. She pulled off her shirt, not really caring that she wasn't wearing a bra under her top and put it in her bag before continuing to look for her sports bra and shirt.

If Santana hadn't thought she was a lesbian before, the way her mouth went dry when she saw the gentle swells of Quinn's breasts would have changed her mind. She was staring and she couldn't help herself for a long moment before she finally managed to pull her gaze away, draining the rest of her bottle in an attempt to distract herself before reaching into her dresser for a pair of shorts and a tank top. Yes she was cold from her run, but her parents like to keep the house weirdly hot even in the winter so she was warming up fairly quickly.

As she changed, she tried not to look at Quinn too often, but it was hard. Her former friend was undeniably beautiful and kept herself in excellent shape and Santana would be lying to herself if she said she didn't appreciate the aesthetic beauty of the girl. Which she wouldn't. She might say that Quinn was a hot ass bitch that she wouldn't turn down a roll in the sack with if asked while drunk, but she wasn't nearly drunk enough for that yet.

"You need to borrow anything?" she asked finally, trying not to look too flustered at her captain's casual semi-nudity. "I know my shit's probably gonna be small and tight on you, but you can deal for a few hours, right?"

"No, I'm cool." Quinn replied as she located her white tank top and slid it on. "Sorry, I couldn't find my shirt." she popped open her drink and took a long swig. "So... you warming up now?"

Santana nodded and turned away to boot up her computer. She wasn't sure if she should feel rejected by Quinn turning down her clothes or just weird about the fact that her body was responding to her former friend the way it was. She opened a fresh bottle and took another long swig, downing nearly half in one go but it didn't seem to put a dent in the dry sensation in her mouth whenever her mind flashed a blast of Quinn topless again.

"O-okay," she coughed to clear her throat as she opened iTunes and started scrolling. "So we've got to do some lame ass song about overcoming our differences. Any suggestions?"

Once her first bottle was done, she opened a second and laid on Santana's bed. "_Love The Way You Lie_? But neither of us can rap." Quinn replied as she watched Santana. "Look, I didn't tell Sue about your tits. I swear to god.

"

Santana sighed, rolling her eyes as dragged the laptop over to the bed so that Quinn could see as well. "Look, can we not talk about that shit? I didn't even _get_ a freaking boob job but everyone thinks I did, so whatever. I don't even fucking care who told who what anymore, but you're the one that keeps bringing it up and rubbing it in my face so boo fucking hoo if I don't believe you."

"You brought it up...but I don't want you to hate me because of something I didn't do." She sighed, Quinn moved over so Santana could lay down. "I rather you hate me for something worthwhile if you need to hate."

"How the fuck did _I_ bring up my tits?" Santana gave Quinn an odd look as she crawled onto the bed to lay beside her, taking another hit off her bottle, "Besides, I never said I hated you. Hate your creepy fifties housewife chic maybe or that what the hell was going on punk mode of yours, but I don't hate you. You piss me off, sure, but everyone does. Jesus, Quinn. If I hated you, I'd have taken that crap about you and that chick to Sue sophomore year. You _know_ she didn't get it from me."

"That shit was a lie." Quinn snapped, "I never... that never happened, I also know where she got that from. Fucking Britt and her inability to keep her damn mouth closed."

"Hey! Leave her out of this," Santana growled, still protective of the other girl even if she had dumped her to go back to Artie and his pathetic crippled dick. "And don't say shit didn't happen, Q. There were freaking _pictures_ of you getting up in that chick's space. _Something_ happened even if it wasn't you getting on board the train to gaytown."

"Ugh." Quinn groaned, "I'm not gay, Santana. Fuck." She whispered as she looked through the iTunes. "I just... Look, I know who took those pictures and I know who told Sue and if you don't believe me it's fine."

"Fine, you're not gay. Whatever," Santana shrugged, busying herself with scrolling through her playlist and sipping down more of her drink. "What about _Kiss With A Fist_?" She smirked at Quinn, "Seems appropriate, don't you think?"

"_Forget You_? _Bad Reputation_? _Iris_?" She offered and drank the rest of her second drink. "_Kiss with a Fist_ would work."

"Unless you're trying to make people talk again, I'd pass on _Iris_ if I were you." Santana pointed out, downing the rest of her own drink and popping open a third. "Huh. I might have to grab another box."

"I think four each is fine." Quinn sighed, "I don't care what song we sing, alright?" She mumbled as she reached for a third drink. "I just wanna pick a song... could be a worse paring right? Blaine and Finn might kill each other and Kurt may drive Sam to insanity."

"Whatever, bitch. You're lucky to get paired up with my fine ass. I can make anyone look good," Santana laughed softly, feeling the buzz from her drinks as she polished off her third and popped the top on her fourth, "Just look at what I did with Wheezy when we've done duets. This is your opportunity for greatness here. I can make you sound way better than the hobbit could."

"Please, like I'd work with Rachel." She laughed, "At least I could come over here without fearing for my life."

"You _did_ work with her though. Your little _I Feel Pretty_ thing when Finnept popped her in the schnoz during rehearsals, remember? And fear for your life?" Santana laughed, "Whatever, I could so take the hobbit in a fight and so could you. We're like the badass bitches of McKinley, Q. No one dares fuck with us."

"Didn't mean her." Quinn mumbled, "I just don't wanna work with her ever again..." she rolled on her back and put her hand on her own stomach. "I just... can't wait until this year is over."

"Getting out of here?" Santana put her laptop aside and leaned back. "Fuck yeah. I can't wait to knock the dirt from this podunk town off my heels and never look back. I mean, hell, not like there's anyone here worth staying for besides my parents and pretty much all of you other bitches hate me anyway." She smiled to try and lie about how much she cared about everyone pushing her out and seemingly hating her. "Be good to see that now leaving Lima sign for the last time."

"Right?" Quinn said as she finished off her 4th drink, "The only people I talk to anymore are Blaine and Sam..." she sighed, "At least you have amazing parents and Brittany, even Finn seems to be your new bro."

"Finn?" Santana looked disgusted, "Okay, so maybe I got stupid and fucked his v-card away, but trust me, I don't want anything to do with the Jolly Green Giant. And," she sighed, shrugging, "Britt's got Wheels and that is so not my scene. Maybe there's not a lot of options for lesbians in this godforsaken town, but getting dropped twice for a _cripple_ is once too often even for me." She laughed like it didn't mean anything, "Whatever, not like she'll graduate anyway, right?" She downed the last of her drink and tossed the bottle away, shoving herself up again. "What the hell am I doing blubbering at you like this? You don't want to hear about my crap. Let's just get this shit assignment done so you can go home or wherever the fuck you go."

"You know I would rather not go home, San." She sighed as she looked to Santana. "I'm sorry you and Britt fell through, I thought she might grow up and figure her shit out someday."

"Whatever. I'm done talking about her. She can go make crippled babies with the freak if she wants. I'm over her." Santana refused to look at Quinn, pulling her laptop back onto the bed and scrolling through iTunes like she was actually looking for something.

Quinn rolled on her side. "For what it's worth... I'm proud of you for being honest about who you are," she said softly. "It was brave. You're brave."

"It wasn't brave," Santana's hands stilled on the keys. "Fucking Finnocense _outing_ me in the goddamn hallway wasn't brave. I _had_ to be honest or whatever the fuck you think I was because I _didn't have a choice_." Her lips thinned, but she refused to look at Quinn, knowing how alcohol affected her. "Because Schuester's fucking _Golden Boy_ decided he knew how I should live _my_ life and blurted it out in the fucking hallway and that creepy pizza guy decided to plaster it on his _ad campaign_. So don't you _dare_ talk about how brave I am, Fabray. Not when not you or any other person in that goddamn club had a single thing to say about him destroying _my_ life. Not when I was made to _apologize_ to _him_ and pressured to fucking _thank him_ for taking _my_ choice away and slapping his fucking label on me. Don't _talk_ to me about how fucking _brave_ I am!"

Quinn looked away, "I'm sorry... I know it was really hard but I couldn't... you know that." She sat up and looked at the other girl, "But...you're able to be open about who you are. Fuck Finn, you don't have to lie anymore..."

"You couldn't what? Tell him he was an asshole for doing that to me? I could see the gun shoved to your head forcing you not to, Quinn." Santana clenched her jaw against the tears stinging the back of her eyes. "But, yeah. No one could. I get it, okay. I'm just the stupid, lesbian bitch who deserves whatever the fuck I get. But you know what, I was _happier_ lying because at least when I was lying I didn't get assholes cornering me in the goddamn halls to tell me how they can _teach_ me to like guys. Girls didn't leave the bathrooms _just because I came in_ acting like I was some kind of pervert who wanted to get in their pants. And when I was lying, my _abulea_ still loved me so I don't really care about how great it is to be open about who I am."

She scuffed at her eyes, "The fuck. I am not talking about this shit with you, Fabray. And if you tell _anyone_ about any of this, I swear I'll end you."

Quinn sighed, "I won't... I promise." She pulled her knees up to her chin, "I'm sorry I didn't knee Finn in the balls... I'm just keeping a low profile these days you know, but I should have had your back." Quinn ran her hand through her hair with a sigh.

"Whatever," Santana shrugged. "It's not like you were the only one who didn't say anything. Not even _Kurt_," she shook her head. "Even the people I thought would definitely say something to him didn't," she whispered softly, "Not Rachel or Brittany or Blaine... no one. So whatever, I get it. Everyone hates me. It doesn't matter. In a few months I'm out and you all can kiss this fine ass goodbye because I am _never_ coming back." She glanced back at Quinn for a second, "I'm done talking about this, Fabray. Seriously. You don't need to remind me all the time that you're better than me."

"I'm not better than you... I'm not." Quinn whispered, "I never have been and never will be. You're not the only one dealing with living a lie."

"Yeah right," Santana muttered, shoving her laptop off the bed to drop into a pile of clothes. "You want to see how to deal with living a lie?" She reached over and got a grip on Quinn's tank top, "How's this for living a lie?" Without any further warning, she leaned in and kissed her hard, her lips soft and pleading with Quinn to return the kiss, to show the lonely girl that she was wanted on some level - _any_ level - by someone who wasn't her parents.

Quinn kissed her back for a moment before pulling away, "San..." She whispered as she caressed the girl's face, "I can't... not like this, okay?" She was pleading for her to understand something that she had no idea about. That Quinn couldn't be with her as she currently was. She wasn't herself and she couldn't lead Santana on.

Santana slumped for a second then got up out of the bed. "Of course you can't. I'm just a dirty lesbian. You can't touch me or daddy's precious little girl will get _damaged_," she sneered, letting her anger get the better of her to hide how hurt she felt. "Whatever, just... just get out." She kicked the duffel bag on the floor, refusing to look at Quinn or admit how much it hurt being pushed away _again_ by someone she liked. "You don't want to be here. You don't want me. No one fucking wants me, so just get out."

"I want to be here." Quinn grabbed Santana's hand. "I care about you Santana, you're amazing and so beautiful... but I'm not a lesbian. It has nothing to do with my family... I just can't be a girl for you."

"You're not a...you can't be a _girl_?" Santana shook her head and yanked her hand away. "Whatever, Fabray! I don't need your fucking pity! Just get out and stop acting like you give a shit about me when we both know you don't."

"Maybe if you didn't shut me out all the fucking time!" Quinn groaned as she got up and grabbed her bag. She slid back on her uniform skirt knowing that she couldn't go home in pants. "We'll do _Kiss With A Fist_ and sing it together," she mumbled, pulling her top back over her tank.

"I'm not the only one who shuts people out, Quinn!" Santana glared at her, watching her grab her things and get changed again. "You think I _like_ being alone? It fucking sucks! But you... Fuck you. Even if I was a goddamn guy you wouldn't be with me so don't _pity_ me and pretend I mean anything. Sing whatever the hell you want. I'll just sway in the background where everyone wants me."

"Santana, I'm sorry I let you down. I'm so sorry. I've been trying to get you back as a friend." Quinn looked at her, "I went through some stuff this last year and so did you... but for better or worse no one knows about my shit. I'm sorry I was hurting and I had to go off on my own to figure things out... I'm sorry, San. I wish I was a better friend."

"You're not my friend," the words sounded like they were being pulled forcefully from somewhere deep inside of Santana and that they hurt coming up, "and sometimes I wonder if you ever were. I know your dad just thinks I'm some stupid wetback from Mexico but I thought you thought better of me. But you just lie like everyone else. So maybe I'm a bitch and a lesbian and Latina and whatever else about me people use as an insult, but I've _always_ been honest with people I thought were my friends. Stupid me though. Turned out I didn't have any." She shook her head and turned away, tired of letting Quinn see her hurt. "Just go away, Quinn. Please."

"I'm sorry, San... I miss you," she whispered before she slipped out of the girl's room trying to hold off tears.

"I miss you too," Santana whispered, closing the door and sliding down it to wrap her arms around her legs and sob into her knees. She felt so stupid for throwing herself at someone she knew was straight only to be rejected again. Everyone she'd asked to love her had turned her down now. Brittany. Puck. Now Quinn. Each one broke her heart a little further but no one thought to try to even sweep up the shattered pieces as they walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The club pulsed with the familiar beat as Quinn pushed into the room. He'd come solo this time - Sam and Blaine having decided they'd rather take advantage of Blaine's mom being out working to have some alone time instead. Looking around, Kelly was no where to be seen, so he just headed to the bar and got a drink. After shooting it back, there was still no Kelly so he steeled his nerves and prepared himself to head out on the dance floor to find someone to dance with.

It wasn't long until Santana spotted him. Smirking to herself and remembering how Kelly had been all over him when he'd arrived last time as if she'd been waiting for him, she'd set down her drink - something mixed, she wasn't sure what but it'd been free like the last five or maybe six. Taking Kelly's new boytoy would be the perfect way to forget that she couldn't be loved. Getting out of her booth, she'd sauntered out onto the dance floor to set her hands on the young man's hips and grind into his ass. "Now what's a stud like you doing in a gay bar like this?" she growled into his ear, making sure to press her breasts into his back so he'd know it wasn't one of the many gay men in the bar.

"Uh..." Quinn stammered recognizing the voice instantly, "Look, I'm just getting a drink so you might wanna just find someone else." he grumbled, his voice taking on a tone that was filled with the husk of one to many cigarettes.

"Um, no," she moaned into his ear, grinding into him, "I saw you with my girl Kelly yesterday and I want to see what all the fuss is about. She was pretty excited about you," she leaned up and nipped at his earlobe, "and damn you got her so wet too. I just want to get some of that hot action for myself." She reached around and cupped him through his pants, chuckling low in her throat. "I see you're already getting interested. You're not _gay_, are you?" she asked, rubbing him as she ground into his ass out on the dance floor.

It wouldn't make any sense if he was gay after what she'd seen him doing with Kelly, she told herself. And so what if she was a little drunk? It just made it easier to fuck a guy. But damn he smelled good, she thought to herself, breathing in the unique scent of cologne and underlying musk that was just shooting all kinds of happy signals to her core.

"Look..." Quinn said as he pulled away and pushed her off. "Just back the fuck off," he said curtly before he pushed her back and he grabbed his drink. "Don't talk about me and don't talk about her... You're being a bitch and you shouldn't talk about her like that."

"Um, wow," Santana glared at him, "Bitch much? Is there something physically _wrong_ with me that you don't like?" She growled, gesturing at herself, "Because maybe I'm totally clueless, but guys usually _like_ it when girls like me throw themselves at them. Jesus, maybe you _are_ gay." She shook her head, looking irritated, "I was actually going to let you fuck me, but if you're _gay_..."

"Says the girl in a gay bar," he rolled his eyes. "Not interested in being a lesbian's test drive," he looked at the girl he knew so well, almost amused that she hadn't realized who he was yet, "I like women, not girls who grab my unit without asking."

"Fuck _you_, you self-righteous prick!" she yelled, his words snapping a switch over to anger inside her, her hand lashing out to slap him hard across the face. "Don't label me! Who the hell cares if I like to fuck a girl sometimes? I've been with plenty of guys and just because you're too damn stupid or gay doesn't mean I'm looking for a...a goddamn _test drive_!"

"Hit me again," he growled as he grabbed her wrist tightly, "and you'll be sorry." He threw her hand down and moved back his drink.

"I doubt it," she sneered, "you're barely even a man. Any other straight or bi guy in this place would tap me if I gave them half a chance but you probably can't even get it up. Need Kelly to fuck you up the ass to have sex with a girl? Is that what you were doing in the car? Getting pegged? Fuck, you probably wouldn't know what to do with me if you _did_ try to fuck me."

Quinn grabbed her arm tightly before pushing her into the wall across from the bar. "Shut the fuck up." he said with a growl as she pressed his body into her. "You wanna fuck me? I'll fuck the shit out of you."

"You wouldn't even know how," Santana growled back, trying to ignore how hard the look in his eyes was making her nipples. She didn't have a clue why she was reacting like she did when she fought like the bitch Fabray at school, but it was definitely turning her on. "I bet I'd have to give you a fucking road map _and_ GPS just to find my pussy. Even if I did, no way a limp wristed bitch like you could make me come."

"Call me a bitch again and you'll be sorry," he hissed.

"Maybe I already am for thinking a gay boy like you could handle me," Santana sneered, "you probably couldn't even get it up enough to actually call it sex. Hell that idiot Finn Hudson could probably keep a hard on longer than you."

Quinn snapped in a blind rage. He held her against the wall and brought his hand down to quickly push her panties aside and shove two fingers deep into his rival. "Shut _up_."

Santana tensed at the first rough penetration but soon smirked. "You think that's enough?" She laughed, her walls fluttering against Quinn's fingers. "I thought you were a _man_ or are you just a boy?"

Suddenly there was a tap on Quinn's shoulder as one of the bar's bouncers stepped up behind him. "Sorry, but we don't allow that in here. Take it out of the bar and now or you won't be welcome back, got it?"

"Yeah... My bad," Quinn grumbled before hastily removing his fingers then dragging Santana out of the building. "Where's your car? I'll show you how much of a man I am. More man then any if those high school boys you fuck."

Santana just smirked and hit the unlock on the remote on her keys. Back in the far corner of the lot where no one was likely to go, a big black Escalade chirped, flashing it's lights. "I doubt it. Guys like you wouldn't know what to do with a chick if they could get one." She shook her head, leading the way to the SUV and trying to ignore the trickle of arousal sliding down her thigh.

As they walked, Santana glanced up and noticed the last camera with a smirk before she started peeling off her top. She glanced slyly back at Quinn before turning around and walking backwards as she reached behind her to unfasten her bra and pull it off. Her nipples were hard peaks, straining towards Quinn in the dim light. "Like what you see? Hell, would you even know what to do with these?" she asked, fondling herself as she watched Quinn, her thumbs flicking over her stiff peaks over and over as she walked.

Once they reached the SUV, she yanked open a door and threw in her top and bra before stripping out of her short skirt and soaked panties, too drunk to care who saw or about the chill in the air. She stood there for a moment in front of him with her arms spread, completely naked except for her high heels and hairless from her neck down. "Get a good look. This is what you tried to turn down, gay boy. Damn little gay bitch like you wouldn't even know what to do with all this."

Quinn let his hand fondle his dick through his pants as he watched Santana strip, heat building low in his body at the sight of her body even through his anger. "Get in the car on your knees, slut," he ordered as he moved closer and ran his hand over her stomach. "I'm gonna teach you how shut the fuck up by fucking you until you can't remember your own fucking name, Lopez. Right in the back of your daddy's car."

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him for a second. "How the fuck do you know my name? Like you could even get it out of your pants to get it in." Finally she shrugged, "Whatever."

Crawling into the backseat, she waved her ass at him and watched him over the shoulder. "Okay, gay boy, let's see if you can live up to anything. Pick a fucking hole and let's do this. Lord knows it won't take long, but hurry up before I get bored and fall asleep waiting for your sorry bitch ass. Come on, bitch, fucking _fuck_ me already!"

Quinn grabbed her hair with one hand and pushed her down as he crawled in behind her, shutting the door. He grabbed a condom out of his pocket and tore it open with his teeth before freeing his cock from his jeans and sheathing it with the protective cover. He pushed Santana's head down into the seat as he lined himself up with her entrance and penetrated the girl's pussy without even checking to see if she was ready for him. He buried to the hilt then pulled out and slammed in again.

"You think that's enough?" Santana gritted out, trying to keep from crying out at the sensations starting to push through her from the friction in her core. She fought to push back up off of the seat, "I've been fucked by effeminate queers hung better than you!" She grunted as the roughness sent fingers of electric fire coursing through her, but she needed more, "Jesus, bitch, I know fucking lesbians with bigger _fingers_!"

That granted Santana several more harsh, uncoordinated thrusts as Quinn gripped onto the girl's hips and thighs, digging his fingers roughly into her soft skin. "You think any girl or boy could fuck you better? You've fucked the whole town so maybe you know." Quinn grabbed a handful of breast as he kept pounding her, his breath coming in harsh pants as he fought to punish her with his pace.

"Better," she grunted, "than your mosquito sting?" She finally got her arms up under her and shoved back up. "Even Hudson was better than you," she hissed, leaning back up on her knees to sink him deeper into her dripping wet core, her back pressing against his chest and her breasts arching towards the other door, bulging out between his fingers from how tightly he was gripping her.

Quinn gripped onto the girl with brushing force. "Maybe it's cause you're a dyke that men don't do it for you," he growled into her ear as he laid sever thrusts deep into her in rapid succession, bottoming out against her cervix with each thrust, dragging grunts of pleasure from the girl in his arms with each thrust. "And if I was Finn I'd have blow my load over your plastic filled tits ages ago."

"Fuck you! Just cause that bitch Fabray wants to tell everyone bullshit about my getting implants doesn't mean I did!" She ground down against him, denying to herself over and over that she was teetering on the brink of orgasm.

At the mention of his name, Santana received a hard smack on her ass, a red welt the shape of Quinn's hand quickly rising near her hip from the force of the slap. Quinn pulled nearly all the way out before grabbing Santana hair and twisting her head back. "Still not good enough for you?"

Santana was gasping from the sting of the slap but was far too angry and turned on to stop fighting. "You'll never fuck me senseless. You're just as," she gasped, pulling against the hand fisted tightly in her hair, "big a bitch as Quinn Fabray! Neither one of you could handle me! Neither of you are better than me!"

She fought against the hand in her hair, pulling a few strands loose. "You all think you're so great but you're no better than me! None of you!"

"Shut up, Lopez," Quinn grunted as she thrust in again and rode the sopping girl hard. "You wanna come," Quinn tweaked a nipple between her fingers, pinching and tugging the pebbled flesh roughly, "then come around my dick."

"Fuck you," Santana sobbed, her anger burning away under the bleariness of the alcohol turning her into a weepy drunk even as Quinn drove her closer and closer to the edge. "I wouldn't need you if Brittany wasn't off fucking the goddamn cripple! Not even fucking Puck or _Quinn_ wants me so I gotta get fucked by your bitch ass if I wanna feel something so fuck _you_!"

Quinn faltered for a moment, his anger dying before just barely managing to keep his pace. "Let go, Santana," he whispered softly as he slid his hand down and fingered her clit, awkwardly trying to give her release, "just let go."

"I wish you were at least Quinn," Santana whispered softly, finally letting herself slip over the edge. Her body tensed around Quinn's member, trembling and shaking as she let her long withheld release flow through her. She collapsed on the seat after she was done, sliding off him and curling up in a sad little ball. "Go away," she mumbled. "You got what you want, now go away like everyone else."

Quinn carefully disposed of the condom and tucked himself away before grabbing the towel off the floor and gently trying to clean Santana off. He carefully wiped the fluid off her thighs and then picked up her shirt, "Sit up for me?" Quinn asked softly as he ran his hands across her back, "I'm not gonna leave you. I need to make sure you're safe and get home first."

"Fuck you," she grumbled grabbing her shirt away from him but otherwise only moving to get away from his touch. "I don't need your help or your pity so stop fucking _touching_ me and just go _away_. I'm not your goddamn pity project. I'm just some stupid bitch who goaded you into fucking me cause I didn't like that Kelly was with you. So go brag to all your friends that you fucked Santana Lopez or whatever. I don't fucking care."

"San... I," Quinn sighed. "Let me drive you home since your obviously drunk and you can't get arrested." He climbed over the seat and grabbed the keys from where Santana always kept them when she went out. Glancing back, he turned the car over. "Put your skirt on."

"Stop calling me that. You don't know me." Santana groused, "Turn my damn car off and get the fuck out! I'll call the cops if you drive even a foot away from here!"

"I'm not letting you drive home drunk!" he replied. "So fucking sue me."

"I'm not stupid!" She yelled, sitting up and dragging her shirt over her head to hide that his continued attempts at caring for her were dragging tears from her eyes. "I'll just sleep back here and go home in the morning like I always do. Besides, I don't know why you even care! You got what everyone else wants from me so just _leave_ already!"

"Fine," Quinn sighed and looked at her before turning the car off and getting out. He straightened out his pants and looked regretfully at the girl. "See you later," he whispered before walking over to his own car and getting in.

He carefully pulled off his shirt and pulled on a dress before working his jeans and boxers off and unhooking his harness. He put the dildo into a bag so he could clean it later and slipped on the panties and shoes she'd stashed in her glove box. She looked behind him at the dark form of Santana's car in the corner of the lot and sighed as she worked the tangles out of her hair.

In the other car, Santana leaned forward to trigger the locks closed on the doors and wiggled into her clothes, wincing at the soreness coming from her lower body. Reaching into the back, she pulled a blanket around her and curled up on seat, the towel Quinn had used to clean her carefully folded up to use as a pillow. She took in a careful breath trying to ignore the scent of sex under her head and looked up the stars barely visible through the tinted moonroof.

"I'm so stupid," she whispered to no one in particular before throwing her arm over her eyes and trying to sleep.

* * *

><p>Quinn drove home, knowing that she had a 5050 chance of running into her father being awake and drunk or sneaking home from one of his affairs when she got there. She pulled into the driveway, smiling when no lights were on so she carefully shoved everything into her bag and snuck in through the garage door.

"Out with Sam?" Came her father's low query as she quietly closed the door connecting the garage to the kitchen. The man was sitting at the kitchen table in the dark. An open bottle of Jack was half full sitting beside him. He took a sip from his glass, watching her quietly.

She jumped. "Yes, daddy," she whispered, scared that somehow he somehow knew what she'd been doing. "I'm sorry... I... I shouldn't have gone out, but mom was sleeping and you weren't home..."

Russell nods slowly, continuing to sip his drink. "Well, that's fine. But remember that you need to save yourself for marriage, Lucy. Sam's a fine young man and I'm sure he'll wait for you. Next time, leave a note at least." He nodded towards the stairs, "Go on to bed, sweetheart. We have church in the morning."

"Sam and I are not doing that!" she exclaimed as she pulled open the refrigerator door to grab a bottle of water. "I'll see you in the morning, daddy, I'm teaching Sunday school tomorrow." she smiled fakely at the man and kissed his forehead before heading up the stairs and letting out a sigh when she got in her room. She carefully hid her clothing from the club in her Cheerios duffel bag and changed into sweatpants and her tight sports bra before climbing into bed.

"Shit," she whispered, "I fucked Santana."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Quinn walked out of the showers with a towel tied low on her hips and another towel draped over her neck covering her breasts. Her new shorter hair was pushed back in an elastic headband that made her look like a post game soccer player, rather than a cheerleader. Her abs were on display as she walked over to the corner where Brittany and Santana and her own lockers resided. She flipped the lock and looked at the other girls getting dressed for a moment before busying herself in her locker.

"Good practice, guys," she said as she grabbed a clean pair of boyshorts and slipped them up under her towel.

"Thanks, Q. You were a total double rainbow today too." Brittany smiled at Quinn before turning back to her locker only to notice a set of bruises like handprints on Santana's hips as the smaller girl pulled off her towel to toss it into the locker. "Oh wow, San, did you get sexy times this weekend too?" She sounded cheerful as she clapped her hands, "That's so awesome!"

Santana smirked slightly, "Mmm yeah, found me a cute guy at the club and broke in the backseat in Dad's Escalade on Saturday." She stepped into her panties, wincing slightly as her still sore core stretched, "Was big and rough. You'd have liked him."

Quinn looked shocked for a second, as she glanced over, realizing the bruises he'd left when he fucked her were still visible. When Santana turned around she had a hand print on her ass so close to her hip it was almost on her thigh. "Wow, Lopez," she snapped, trying to hide her nervous gulp, "abuse much?" She took off her lower towel, but kept the one covering her breasts as she refused to put on a dress until she had to.

"A boy?" Brittany asked confusedly as she wiggled into a pair of shorts, "I thought you were capital-G Gay now?"

"I am, but it's weird when girls give it to you rough, you know, B?" Santana shrugged, wiggling into a pair of tight jeans, wincing slightly as the rough denim pressed against her aching core. "The ones that like to are way too into kinky shit. At least a guy just bangs hard and goes on his way and this dude even wore a condom, how slick is that?"

"Santana, please tell me you make all your conquests use a rubber!" Quinn exclaimed, grossed out that she might have shared Santana with god knows how many other people, "I don't really need my second in command coming down with herpes." Quinn said as she pulled her dress over her head forgoing a bra. "You gotta take care of yourself, Lima is full of creepers."

"Of course I do," Santana glanced over her shoulder at Quinn with a sneer, trying to hide the quick glance over the other girl's body before she covered it with the dress, "don't be stupid. But this guy didn't even have to be told. It was," she shrugged, an confused little smile quirking the corner of her lips, "kind of sweet actually. I didn't have to fight him for it or anything."

"Sounds like Sanny has a crush." Brittany clapped as she finished getting changed, "Yay! We can double date with Artie and Quinn and Sam!"

"No!" Quinn shot at the blonde, "No double dates."

"Jesus, who pissed in your cereal, Q?" Santana asked with a confused glance, pulling her tight tanktop on over her sports bra. "I don't have a crush or whatever. He was just a good fuck. It was fun but I don't date guys. You know that, B."

"I know... Sex isn't dating." Brittany pouted as she brushed her hair. "But why can't we double date, Quinn?"

"Cause," Quinn stated, fixing her hair, "Sam and I like our alone time."

"Oh God," Santana rolled her eyes, leaning back against the locker and folding her arms over her chest, "Please tell me you and Trouty Mouth aren't doing the nasty. We do not need any more Aryan babies in this town. It's already white enough as it is."

"I'm the president of the celibacy club, Santana." Quinn replied, feeling awkward since in the span of a week she had been intimate with two girls, first Kelly, then loosing her virginity to Santana.

"Uh-huh, and you do recall that Britt-Britt and I were in that club too, right?" Santana smirked, looking Quinn over, "It's too bad you're all over Guppy Lips or B and I could take you out some time."

Brittany clapped, "Ooh, if we do can Artie come? We could totally double date like that!" she looked at Quinn with a big grin ignoring the incredulous glare from Santana.

"No," Quinn said simply as she finished her hair and decided against any make up. "I'm not interested in going to some club with you, Britt and _Artie_," she growled before grabbing her bag. "Come on we have Glee."

"Of course you're not," Santana muttered, her face falling for a split second at being reminded again that Quinn had no interest in her, but the expression was quickly replaced with her typical annoyed indifference. "Whatever, Q. Your loss," she snapped, grabbing her bag and Brittany's before heading out after her captain, Brittany following just behind.

Quinn walked into the choir room and slipped into the chair next to Sam and Blaine. She leaned against her pseudo-boyfriend and sighed. "I made a mistake," she whispered and closed her eyes as she heard Mr. Schuester talking.

He glanced over to where Blaine was watching them worriedly and slid an arm around her shoulders. "We'll talk after Glee," he whispered into her ear, hugging her close.

* * *

><p>When you didn't want to be there, Glee always seemed to drag on the longest. But finally Mr Schue told them he'd see them next time and let them leave for the day. Sam grabbed up Quinn's bag before she could protest and gave a little nod to Blaine before escorting her out to his car. Maybe five minutes after they'd gotten into the car, Blaine showed up and slid in.<p>

"Okay, what's going on, Q? You look like you just got told you're getting married or something." He looked back at her and Sam in the backseat before starting the car and pulling out to drive home.

"Ugh..." Quinn ran her hand through her hair. "Santana is being a bitch... did you know she was fucking Kelly?" She asked as she looked at Blaine.

"Heard a rumor that she was but it's really true?" he asked, glancing back at them as he drove.

"What's up with you and Kelly anyway?" Sam asked, rubbing her shoulders. "You vanished on us but didn't seem all that pleased with yourself when you came back."

"We kinda hooked up, then I realized I was the second person she fooled around with that night." She sighed, "Not like she wants anything more than just someone to grope her for a bit..." Quinn looked out the window, "Why does Santana need to fuck everything up? Does she always have to take what I want?"

Sam looked confused, "You want Brittany?"

"No, he wants Kelly," Blaine rolled his eyes. "She's really kind of a slut, Quinn. You could do a lot better than her."

"Yeah well..." Quinn sighed, getting out of the car once they got to Blaine's. "I don't really care if she's a slut. She's a slut that doesn't care if I have to strap on a unit to feel whole."

"Wow," Blaine muttered heading up to unlock the door and let them in.

"Geez, Quinn. Don't be so bitter," Sam shrugged, grabbing their bags. "There's lots of chicks who wouldn't care about that. Hell, there's like natural dudes who don't have their junk any more and have to use a strappy or a prosthetic or something."

"Santana's just fucking crazy," Quinn said as she headed up to Blaine's room, quickly grabbing her dress and pulling it over her head and crouching down to grab her bag with her clothing inside it. "She's crazy, and goes after things just because she can't get someone to love her."

"Okay, hold up," Sam muttered coming in and quickly looking away with a faint blush, pulling his smirking boyfriend down on his lap. "Why does Santana keep coming up anyway? I mean, she's hot and a little nuts, but you're kinda stuck."

Quinn pulled on a pair of loose jeans and pulled on his compression tank and a Foo Fighters T-shirt. "Because, she cornered me at the club and said really bad things and pushed me too far," he said before putting his hair in a low ponytail.

Blaine looked at him worriedly, "You didn't hit her, did you? What do you mean by too far..."

"Not really..." Quinn said as he flopped onto the bed and covered his face. "I fucked her and now she's covered in bruises and talking about the guy she fucked in her car... She freaking jumped me while I was at the bar because I was with Kelly."

Blaine's eyes widened noticeably and Sam let out a low whistle. "You and Satan's daughter? And she's _bragging_ about it? Damn, Q!" The blond boy grinned widely, "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

"Sam, shut up," Blaine muttered. "Quinn, are you okay?"

"What do you mean is he okay? He lost his v-card giving the hottest chick in our school the ride of her life! He's a freaking rockstar, man!"

Quinn just groaned and rolled over onto her stomach, "You don't get it," he sighed, "I... she doesn't know it's me and she fucking kept talking about _me_ during sex. She's so fucked up, guys." Quinn almost felt bad, "She's so lost and goes and fucks random people every weekend... She used to be my friend you know?"

"So... what?" Sam looked confused again, "She's got some kind of crush on you or something?"

"Do you feel bad about what happened then?" Blaine asked softly getting off of Sam and coming over to put a hand on Quinn's shoulder.

"Yeah... I mean, I shouldn't have had sex with her... she was really drunk and she kept taunting me. She kept saying I wasn't man enough..." Quinn looked away ashamed of himself. "I'm just, like... She has bruises now and I know she asked for me to go harder but... I don't want to hurt her."

"Q," Blaine murmured softly, "do you...like her?" He looked concerned and even Sam looked a bit worried.

"It's cool if you do, man," Sam added, "but she's kinda a lesbian and that's...gonna get awkward."

"I don't like her," Quinn snapped. "I just feel bad for her, and whatever." He defended himself, "I just, like... she's fucking herself up... I don't even know why when she's got like the perfect life."

Sam shrugged. "Maybe she's lonely," he shrugged again when Blaine shot him a confused look, "I mean, I don't think she's got a lot of friends. You stopped hanging out with her sophomore year and Brittany's all wrapped up with Artie lately. She's kinda like Rachel that way but...less slushies and she's not dating anyone and...okay, so maybe Rachel's got more friends than her."

Quinn sighed, "She doesn't let anyone be friends with her... she pushes everyone away. She pushed me away." He rolled over and looked at the boys, "I just.. I thought my first time would mean something."

"It usually doesn't," Blaine pointed out with a shrug. "It'll mean something when you want it to though," he added with a smile at Sam.

"And, it could be worse," Sam added with a shrug, "I mean, at least you weren't _bad_ and couldn't come early."

"She kept talking about Finn blowing his load," Quinn scrunched up his face, "but it's a perk of the pack... always hard." he said, "It's just, like... ugh... why is she so frustrating and mean?"

"I don't know. I thought she liked you," Sam shrugged. "She's always watching you and stuff. If she was a gay guy, I'd say she was into you, but girls are weird."

"Even if she liked me... it wouldn't matter." Quinn said, "Because she's a lesbian and I'm not." He sighed, covering his eyes again, "God, why can't anything be easy."

"Because then it wouldn't be interesting or worth doing," Blaine pointed out with a smirk. "Okay, off of our classmate's strange behaviors and back to your other near conquest, shall we?"

"Totally," Sam grinned, sitting cross-legged on the bed and getting comfortable, "I want to know if you wanna hook up with Kelly again."

"I mean.. Yeah. She's hot." Quinn replied as he sat up, "Her body is crazy hot and she knows what she's doing and is cool with me being me."

"So, gossip time," Blaine leaned forward slightly with a smile, "what'd you two do when you disappeared?"

"I thought being a boy got me out of girltalk?" Quinn asked with a laugh.

Sam nearly fell off the bed laughing at Blaine's shocked expression. Finally, the boy composed himself - ignoring his boyfriend rolling around on the other side of Quinn. "Quinn, I'm gay. I may not be as bad as my ex, but I still like juicy tidbits from my best friends now and then. And Kelly might be a slut, but she's your first foray into manhood. So weird as it is to be discussing heterosexual hookups, I want to know."

"She's teaching me how to be a man in ways you can't." He smiled as he looked down at his hands, "We just kissed some more like we did at the store... and stuff like that. She wouldn't let me take off any of her clothing so we just kissed until I got her off."

"Dude, you got her off? And just by kissing?" Sam had stopped laughing, but remained sprawled on the bed as he grinned lopsidedly up at Quinn, "What'd you do? Cause I've never gotten a girl off at all, let alone with just _kissing_."

"And you'd better not be trying any more either," Blaine scolded with a smirk.

"I don't even know, man... like we were kissing and then I touched her boobs some and then she came when I was pressed against her." Quinn explained, "Santana, like I was pounding her hard and she was angry so I got how she was able to come. It was kinda crazy."

Sam sat put and slung an arm over Quinn's shoulders, "Obviously, this calls for a repeat experiment. Find Kelly and like...spend a night giving it to her." He smirked, "Come on, man, you know you can do her so she'll be walking funny the next day." He winked, ignoring Blaine's disgusted expression.

"Alright..." Quinn said awkwardly, not really sure if he should listen to Sam. Being that rough made him feel weird. Maybe it was just being with Santana.. or maybe it was that he didn't like the idea of being violent with women after growing up with his father.

"Quinn, just because Santana liked it one way doesn't mean all women do," Blaine offered, glaring at Sam who just shrugged. "Much as I don't need the imagery, you did say you got Kelly off with barely anything. She's open to experimenting I've heard so as long as you do things safe..."

Quinn groaned and flopped back, "Can we stop talking about girls that I'm fucking and do something else?" He asked needing this conversation to end. "Did you see how evil Kurt was looking at you two today in physics?"

"Kurt always glares at me," Blaine shrugged. "He doesn't like that I was his first but his crazy, controlling ass made me dump him."

Sam just laid back on the bed and folded his hands behind his head. "I'm just glad we're graduating in a few more months and getting away from his crazy ass."

"Hopefully he actually gets into that fancy school he keeps bragging about." Quinn remarked, "Because he might not get in since he's only really done Glee and quit everything else like Cheerios and student council."

"As long as he doesn't go where I'm going I'm happy." Blaine held out his hands and shrugged, "He's set on going to New York with Rachel so maybe he'll go even if he doesn't get in."

"As long as they're gone I'm happy." Quinn said, "Oh, by the way my dad is out on a new vendetta against the Berrys..." Quinn sighed, "Also, he thinks Sam and I are having sex."

"Seriously?" Sam asked glancing over at him with a laugh. "At least he knows you have good taste."

"Sam, I love you but shut up," Blaine looked slightly pale, "I really don't want to think about you and Quinn having sex ever. What's his problem with the Berrys now? I thought you and Rachel had hammered out whatever issues you two were having."

"They're gay? My dad's a bigot?" He shrugged, "But whatever as long as he thinks I'm in Glee to keep Sam company and not hanging out with her I'm safe." He smiled sadly, "Thank you again, guys, for helping me keep this hidden."

"You're our friend, Quinn. It's what friends do," Blaine smiled.

"And you're kind of protecting us too," Sam added. "It would not be pretty if everyone found out about us while Kurt's still hung up on Blaine."

"You two are so cute, though." Quinn smiled, "I hope to find someone to be with like you someday." he said softly.

"You will," Blaine smiled at him, "not a chance that you won't. I just hope you don't find a Kurt to go along with it."

"well Kurt's crazy." Quinn smiled before glancing over at the time. "Ugh, I don't wanna go home," he complained.

"Then don't," Sam smirked. "Your dad already thinks we're doing the deed so just stay over. I'll cover for you."

"I don't want to get you on his bad side." he sighed.

"What's the worst that can happen?" Sam asked with a shrug, "He makes me marry you? Okay. So say he does. We just get it annulled in a few months when we graduate and get out of here. Besides, it'd get annulled anyway when you do the paperwork to be a guy cause guys can't get married in this state."

"It's not worth it, Sam." Quinn sighed as he stood up and started changing back into his other clothing. "I can't do that to you, or your family." He started stripping and pulled his uniform back on and pulled his hair into a half ponytail. "It's not a good idea to piss him off right now."

"Quinn," Sam started sadly only to be cut off by his boyfriend coming over and hugging her.

"Only a few more months," Blaine murmured. "We just have to graduate and then we can get out of here."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Quinn laid on his bed going over his French homework and listening to a set of audio files on speech alteration with his headphones on. She had gone to church and taught an early Sunday school class before attending Mass with her parents and then headed home while her parents retreated to their _Christian Couples brunch_ with the rest of the congregation. She'd quickly changed out of her dress and threw on a white tank top and a pair of basketball shorts he'd swiped from Sam. He spoke softly to himself, attempting to repeating the phrases murmured in his ears in a deeper, more masculine tone.

He didn't hear his parents come home or the soft sounds of his mother's footsteps outside his door. Or the way she stopped with a soft gasp as she heard his voice and opened his door. She looked anxiously down the hall towards the stairs to make sure her husband wasn't coming up yet before hurrying in to lightly grip Quinn's shoulder.

"You have to stop," she whispered urgently. "Please, Quinn, just stop..."

Quinn jumped. "M-mom!" He nearly fell off the bed when he noticed the look on her face, "What...why are you home?" He quickly shut off his iPod and looked at his mother with a frightened expression.

"Quinn, it's nearly three in the afternoon. Hurry and change before your father sees!" Judy looked scared, glancing back towards the door and straining to hear his footstep. "At least take off that shirt and put on a robe. We can tell him you were going to shower."

Quinn nodded quickly pulling off her tank top and down her shorts and sliding on her pink robe. She didn't care that she had shown her mother the boxer briefs under her shorts or the faint scars that littered her torso from years if self hate as a child. "I'm sorry, mom." she whispered ashamed.

Judy glanced at the door one more time before hugging her child. "Don't be sorry, just be careful. I don't want him to hurt you," she whispered softly in his ear before pulling away, and showing the familiar vapid smile at the sound of Russell's heavy tread coming up the stairs. "Now don't take too long in your shower, dear," she tittered. "I know you want to look beautiful, but Daddy's taking us out to meet some of his colleagues tonight and we'll need to be going soon."

"My daughter doesn't need to do anything to be beautiful, lovebug," Russell announced with a grin as he shoved the door open and walked in without any warning. "There's my favorite girls. Come give your daddy a hug, Lucy."

Nervously, Quinn moved over and hugged her father. "Let me just clean up okay, daddy? One of the kids got paint all over me and I want to look okay for tonight." She bit her lip and pulled away and looked at the ground.

"You'd look good anyways, sweetheart, but alright." He smiled proudly at his youngest, brushing fingers through her hair. "I know women like to make themselves pretty for us menfolk, so I'll leave my ladies to it." He kissed her forehead and brush his lips across Judy's before heading out of the room leaving them alone again.

Quinn closed the door and looked back to her mother and sighed, "I'm sorry, mommy." she looked down a the floor. "I'm so sorry I keep disappointing you."

"What are you talking about?" Judy asked with a vague smile, "Don't be silly. You don't disappoint me, Quinn. You never could." She reached out and twitched some of Quinn's hair back, "You're my child and I love you."

"I'm not what you want," she whispered and felt a tear fall down her cheek. "Please don't make me go tonight... I... I just... please don't make him flaunt me around to his friends."

Judy sighed softly, lifting Quinn's chin and wiping away the tear. "You know I can't make him do anything," she whispered, "not all at once at least. Give him this and...and I'll find a way to get you out of the one next week. We'll tell him you have a practice or an overnight with your cheerleader friend. What's her name? Oh yes, Brittany. He likes her."

She nodded and wiped her eyes frantically hating to cry. "Okay... let me get ready." She sighed and looked away and tried to not think about how horrible being with his friends would be.

"You're so much stronger than me," Judy whispered, smiling sadly at her child for a moment before letting the vapid smile reappear. "I'll be in my room getting ready if you need any help, dear."

"I love you mom, I'll always take care of you okay?" Quinn whispered before hugging her and heading off to the bathroom.

* * *

><p><strong>To: quinnfabray123 at Gmail<br>From: K Layton at OSU**  
><em>Sent: Nov 23, 20XX<em>  
><strong>Subject: Could we try again?<strong>

Hi, Quinn. It's Kelly. Look, I know last time wasn't what you were expecting. I'm sorry about that.

I was wondering if maybe we could try again? I promise I'll make it special for you.

Kelly

* * *

><p><strong>To: K Layton at OSU<br>From: quinnfabray123 at Gmail**  
><em>Sent: Nov 23, 20XX<em>  
><strong>Subject: Re: Could we try again?<strong>

Hey Kelly,

Of course. I didn't mean to be soﾅ I don't even know. I also wish I knew about you and Santanaﾅ but I liked hanging out with you so I'd like it if we could chill again.

-Q-

* * *

><p><strong>To: quinnfabray123 at Gmail<br>From: K Layton at OSU**  
><em>Sent: Nov 23, 20XX<em>  
><strong>Subject: Re: Re: Could we try again?<strong>

You know Santana? I had no idea, I swear. I hope it's not a problem. :(

I'd really like that. If it's not too forward or soon, maybe we could try this weekend?

* * *

><p><strong>To: K Layton at OSU<br>From: quinnfabray123 at Gmail**  
><em>Sent: Nov 23, 20XX<em>  
><strong>Subject: Re: Re: Re: Could we try again?<strong>

I can do this weekend. :)

* * *

><p><strong>To: quinnfabray123 at Gmail<br>From: K Layton at OSU**  
><em>Sent: Nov 23, 20XX<em>  
><strong>Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Could we try again?<strong>

That's great. Maybe you could pick me up from work? I'm off at five. We could go back to my place and I could make you dinner.

If you want, you could spend the night.

* * *

><p><strong>To: K Layton at OSU<br>From: quinnfabray123 at Gmail **  
><em>Sent: Nov 23, 20XX<em>  
><strong>Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Could we try again?<strong>

I'll see you Saturday at five.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

After much begging Quinn got permission to stay at Brittany's house Saturday night. Which Quinn had to lie to the blonde that she was really staying at Sam's when she was going to Kelly's for the night. After a pit stop to Blaine's house to get dressed and borrow some of the boy's more fancy clothing he set off to the store where Kelly worked.

Hopping out of his tiny red car he adjusted his snug fitting black jeans and the dark green polo that peaked out from under the black leather jacket. He scuffed his converse covered feet against the ground as he headed towards the shop. He slid inside and smiled, when he saw Kelly sitting at the counter studying. "Hey, pretty girl," He smiled as he looked over the auburn haired girl.

"Hey, you," she responded with a smile when she turned and saw him. She was in the same forest green polo and khaki shorts as when they first met, but by this point Quinn recognized them as the store's uniform - odd as it was to have a uniform in a sex shop. Coming around the counter, she leaned up on her tip toes with her hands wrapped in the lapels of his jacket to steal a kiss. "You're a little early. Want to come behind the counter with me for a bit? I've still got a couple more minutes before the guy working nights gets here."

"Sure." He smiled as he pulled away from the kiss and took her hand. "You look stunning." he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind once he got behind the counter. "and smell good too."

"I look and smell like I've been working in a sex shop all day," she teased, leaning back into his embrace, "but thank you. I might have to keep you around just for all these compliments. You're kind of amazing for my ego, Quinn."

"Well.. you only vaguely smell like latex," he teased, smiling and closing his eyes as he held her. He felt safe with her. Almost like when he was with Santana, but with Kelly he felt safe like he didn't have to be angry as well.

"You're so sweet," she giggled, waving at the older man coming in the door in a similar polo. "Hey, Mark!"

"Hey, Kelly, so that's the date you've been so hyped about all week?" He smirked, eyes raking over Quinn as Kelly blushed, "He's _cute_. Hey, if things don't work out with you and Kelly, I'd give you more than just the time of day," he added to Quinn with a wink.

"Ugh, Mark. Hands off, he's mine," Kelly leaned up and kissed Quinn before pulling him from behind the counter. "It's all yours. Don't burn it down."

"Whatever. You kids go enjoy yourselves."

"Bye Mark." Quinn replied as he followed Kelly out to the car. "Sorry, it's not really the greatest car ever..." Quinn shrugged as he opened the door for her and took her bag and put it in the back before running around and getting in the driver's seat. "Um... where to?"

"It's a car which is more than I have. Beside," Kelly smirked, leaning over to nibble on his ear for a moment, "young guys with cars are hot." She whispered the directions to her house into his ear before sitting back down and buckling up. "I promised you a special night," she added with a lopsided smile.

Quinn calmed his breath for a moment before turning over the car and driving to Kelly's place. He pulled in the driveway with a house and a segregated garage with a staircase. "Do... you live here?" he asked confused, not really thinking he was going to be going into a family home.

"Sort of," her lips twitched into a smile as she pointed to the staircase heading up the side of the garage. "I live up there." She looked over at him and bit her lip with a nervous smile, not completely used to bringing guys home. "I did promise tonight would be special. This is special. A," she actually blushed slightly, "a bed is always more special than the backseat of a car, Quinn."

"That's really cool." Quinn smiled and got out of the car and moved over to hold the car door open for Kelly to get out. "It's already special because you're here so we're doing good, right?" He said as he held his hand out for her and let her lead him up to her apartment.

Kelly laughed softly, "I have mentioned you're a fast learner, haven't I? Come on, lover. Let's get you fed so you have stamina for tonight," she teased, unlocking the door and letting him into her small place. "Well, welcome to my home."

It wasn't very fancy, only three rooms. A bedroom off in the back, a bathroom and a kitchen sharing space with the living/dining area. There were a few photographs on the walls in frames and a couple of movie posters as decorations and the furniture was an eclectic mix of second hand. "I know it's not much, but make yourself at home. I promised you dinner so what would you like? If I can't make it I can probably order it."

"I'm good with anything you want." Quinn said as he shrugged off his jacket and put it down on a the back of her desk chair and his keys on the desk. "You keep telling me I'm a fast learner but I'm not sure why." he said shyly as he watched her move around the apartment.

Kelly glanced over her shoulder at him as she headed to the kitchen area to make a simple dinner of steak and salad. "Because you are. You don't come across as having a lot of experience with these things but you know how to compliment, how to kiss," her smirk deepened slightly, "the start of how to make a woman feel good in bed..."

"I just do what I think people should... I'm kinda old fashioned I guess," he said as he followed her in and hopped up on he counter and watched her. "I can watch this stuff if you wanna go change out of your work stuff."

"I thought I was supposed to cook for you," she teased, "but okay. I'll just be a little bit, okay?"

Pulling him down for a kiss that was soft but promised more, she brushed her tongue over his lips with a fleeting smile before vanishing into her bedroom. As soon as the door closed behind her, she stripped down to her bare skin and slipped into a sheer black thong. She hesitated for a moment, glancing at the door almost nervously before selecting a sheer black camisole that matched but didn't leave anything to the imagination as she slid it over her head without a bra.

Selecting a short skirt that just brushed the bottom of her ass and loose, cap-sleeved button up that she only fastened to just below the neckline of the chemise, revealing her cleavage, she dressed and daubed a little perfume on her neck and wrists before heading out to the kitchen again. She wouldn't dress like this and go out no matter what her reputation, but she wanted to show off for her man that night. She smiled at the sight of Quinn flipping the steaks and ran her tongue over her lips before clearing her throat softly as she came up behind him. "So? How do I look?"

"Wow." Quinn breathed as he looked her over, "You look really sexy." he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her neck and smiled at the smell of her perfume. "But you'd look good in or _out_ of anything." he pulled away and turned back to the steak.

"You are such a sweet talker," she murmured wrapping her arms around his waist from behind and snuggling into his back, "but you really don't have to with me. I already want you to touch me later, Quinn. You can stay all night, can't you?"

"Yes, I can stay the night, but I'm not trying to butter you up." He said as he tangled their fingers together, "I just like making sure you know what I think about you." He looked over his shoulder, smiling at her. "People I've dated in the past... they never did that and I swore that I would make sure girls always know where they stand in my eyes."

"Quinn," Kelly breathed, overcome for a moment. "I was right. You are far too good for someone like me." She smiled and pressed her cheek into his back. "Thanks for being with me like this though. I'm going to do my best to make sure you can give the girl you finally pick the best experience of her life when you finally get to the bedroom part of things."

Quinn's smile faltered for a moment, "I wish this didn't have to be fleeting." He sighed as he held her closer, "I wish you didn't believe that you couldn't be good for me outside of the bedroom..." He knew it was true, from what Blaine had told her and what she knew about her and Santana that he was never going to be her boyfriend and he wasn't ready to give her everything. "That I could be strong enough to be your man in front of the whole world."

"Quinn, don't wish for things like that," Kelly whispered into his back. "I'm not the kind of girl who gets a guy like you long term. I'll just hurt you and you deserve a lot better. You'll find a lot better," she added, brushing her lips over the base of his neck as she rose up slightly on her tiptoes, "and that girl is going to be incredibly lucky. I promise."

"We have right now, right?" He said hopefully, "We have for however long we have and that has to be amazing." He turned around and pressed his forehead against hers. "One... one thing... Santana... I know you have whatever you have with her... but she doesn't know... she doesn't know about me like this... that I'm the same person she knows at her captain in cheerleading..." he swallowed, "I don't want her to know yet okay?"

"You're a cheerleading captain?" Kelly smirked, "Guess you're pretty flexible then? That's a bonus, but Quinn, I won't tell your secrets. I can promise you that."

"Yeah, I'm the head cheerleader," he rolled his eyes and nipped at her lip, "And yes, I'm very flexible."

"We should test that out later," Kelly murmured with a smile, "but first...dinner. You'll need to keep your strength up," she teased as she moved to plate up the steaks and salads.

Quinn laughed and helped bring the food over to the table and grabbed a couple glasses of water.

* * *

><p>After a meal of flirtatious glances and teasing conversation, Kelly smiled at Quinn and reached for his hand. "Come on," she whispered, standing and tugging him towards the bedroom with an almost shy smile.<p>

Quinn nodded and followed her into the room. He was nervous, the time in the back of the car with Kelly was safe because he didn't have to take off any clothing and then the time with Santana was almost too fast for him to comprehend what was happening. He sat on the bed and looked up at the woman. "I'm nervous."

"Don't be nervous," Kelly smiled down at him. "You're a man, I'm a woman... There's nothing more natural in the world than this, Quinn. How you were shaped at birth doesn't change who you are right now. Now," she stepped between his legs and traced her fingers lightly along his neck as his hands settled naturally on her hips, her voice growing husky, "I want you to undress me and I want you to look at me while you do. I want to see the lust in your eyes for my body. I want to feel your hands trembling because of how badly you want to touch me. It makes me feel beautiful to experience those things. Can you do that for me?"

He nodded, moving his hands up from her hips to carefully unbutton shirt and pushing it back over her shoulders to reveal the sheer fabric barely hiding her torso underneath. He leaned back and bit his lip when realized he could see her breasts through the sheer cloth and smiled. "Wow," he breathed as he let his hands slide up under her skirt and ran his palms over her all but bare ass before reaching to hook his fingers into the waistband of the skirt and slide it slowly down over her hips, leaving her in just the camisole and thong. "You are amazing."

Kelly smiled lopsidedly, "Still dressed though. This all you want to see tonight, lover?" She smoothed her hands down over the sheer camisole covering her top, bringing her breasts into sharp focus, nipples stiff against the fabric.

"I got distracted," He said honestly as he slid his hands up under the sheer top. His hands slid up to cup her breasts and let his thumbs brush over her nipples. "Maybe, I want to make sure I work you up a bit before we get you naked," He husked into her ear before pulling the top over her head and throwing it to the floor.

"Lover, you're in the room," she smirked, leaning down to kiss him softly, "I'm worked up. Can you do something for me?" She asked him, raking her fingers through his hair as he slid hands over her hips and ass, fingers occasionally brushing her sheer, soaked through thong and making her moan softly.

"I can do anything for you," he replied as he gently reached down and cupped her core, moaning softly as he pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder. He ran his thumb over the fabric and whimpered as he felt how wet she was.

"Can you show me how it was with Santana?" she asked, her eyes closed and a smile curling her lips at his touch. "I don't know more than it was rough and from behind, but I want to experience what you know so I know what we can work on." She opened her eyes to smile down at him, "Practice does make perfect after all and I want to give you _lots_ of practice."

"I... I can do that," he swallowed and looked at her. "She... she stripped in the parking lot and then got into the car. I... I'm not going to bruise you, okay?" Quinn said as he helped her onto the bed and kissed the small of her back. "I'm not gonna smack your ass ether.. she really pissed me off and it's not gonna happen like that." Quinn said as he leaned back and pulled a condom out of his pocket.

"You won't spank me?" Kelly glanced back over her shoulder as she slid off her thong and got on all fours on the bed in front of Quinn. "Well, that's going to rule out some fun and I like it when you mark me."

"I'm not gonna hurt you," Quinn insisted as he leaned over and turned off the lamp on the table before taking his dick out. He sheathed it in the condom before running his hand down her back and coming closer. "You sure you want exactly how I fucked her?" he asked as he ran the tip down the exposed cleft of her ass.

She couldn't help the thrill of excitement as the room went dark but for the street lights coming in through the window and the feel of his head brushing her. "Yes," she breathed, "exactly. Show me, Quinn. Give it to me..."

Without further preamble, he thrust in, sheathing his entire length in her tight cunt in one move. His member instantly met with slick friction as Quinn grasped hard onto Kelly's hips and started mimicking the pace he set when he'd fucked Santana the weekend before.

Kelly gasped at first, the speed was so quick and powerful that it took her by surprise, but she quickly adjusted and was soon rocking back into him, taking him deeper. "Is this," she panted, "it? N-nothing else?"

he kept pumping hard, his breath labored as he used all the force he could muster. He reached forward and grabbed her breast and tweaked a nipple harshly as he rotated his hips slightly to the right.

"Fuck," she gasped, the speed and force pushing her upper body down into the bed as Quinn pistoned her. She moaned as her breasts rubbed against the slight roughness of the cotton sheets covering her bed and Quinn's member hit just the right spots in her. "Oh...Oh God, I'm close, Quinn," she moaned after a couple of minutes of furious pounding, "I'm so _close_!"

"I want you to come for me," he ordered, raising back to grip her hip with one hand, the other going to her clit. "Come on my dick."

"Oh God," she moaned, rocking back into him faster and faster. "Yes, God, yes..." She was close to the edge, nearly coming over, her body arching back up and into Quinn's body. "Fuck! Yes!" Her walls rippled and clenched against Quinn's dick, sucking him in deeper as she fell over the edge, her voice dying in a breathless gasp as she climaxed against his member.

Quinn carefully slid out of the limp girl ad tossed of the condom into the trash before tucking himself away. He ran his hand over her back and pressed small kisses to her skin. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," she breathed after a couple minutes trying to remember how to breathe, rolling over with a smile and reaching for Quinn, "though you did make me come incredibly hard. Are you okay?"

"I'm good." He collected her in his arms and held her. "You're amazing," he whispered into her hair.

"You're good at hard," she allowed, kissing up the side of his neck, "but do you know how to be soft? Do you know how to make sure your lover is ready for you?"

"I can try... but I don't know what I'm doing..." he admitted as he tilted his neck for her.

"First," she whispered in his ear, "take off your clothes. Not all," she reassured, "but as much as you can." She nibbled on his ear, "I'm going to teach you to touch a woman gently, Quinn."

Quinn stood up and took off his shoes and jeans, then his polo. He left on his briefs and his compression tank top held his chest down. "I... I don't like being naked..." he admitted looking up at her, scared of her rejecting him.

"It's fine," she smiled up at him, laying back down in the bed on her back and spreading her legs for him, "You don't have to be naked. Just look at me. Tonight I'm yours. Only yours. I want you to explore me, Quinn. There's no rush. Just explore my body and learn what you like to touch and how your touch effects me." She ran her hands down her body and parted her folds for Quinn's gaze for a moment, "Do whatever you want and use whatever you want. Lips. Tongue. Fingers. Just be soft for now."

He watched, letting his hands move to her legs. He let his fingers flutter over her skin and calves. He slid his hands up over her her knees and slid up in between her thighs, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her stomach and nipped at her belly button.

"Move higher," she whispered, trying to teach him without being distracted by his touch but it was hard, "not all women like you so close to their core so fast. _I_ like it because it's you, but with other women, start with kissing. T-touch my breasts, Quinn..."

Quinn nodded and brought his hands up to her breasts and stroked gently. He leaned up and captured her lips in a soft and sweet kiss as he let his hands stroke over her skin.

"Yes," she whispered into the kiss, her eyes falling closed as she reached up to run her hands over his back, "like that." She tried not to move under him, but she could help the slight buck of her hips as his hands brushed her nipples. "Taste me, Quinn. Show me you enjoy," her voice broke in a high-pitched squeak as he brushed her again, "you enjoy touching me..."

He nodded and moved down and kissed her neck and down to her shoulder. He smiled against her skin as he moved to kiss across her collarbone, leaving a faint mark over on her. He moved down, kissing her sternum before finding the swell of her breast under his lips and teased the nipple with his tongue and pulled it between his lips and gently kissed it. He was nervous, he had never done this before and he didn't want to disappoint.

"That's right," she breathed tangling her fingers in his hair and gently encouraging to move the way she wanted him too. "Suck me, Quinn. Some girls you have to be very, very gentle with," she moaned softly as his tongue stroked her peak, "but not me. You can be firm with me. Mark me if you want. I like those things." She was panting as she spoke, Quinn's mouth nervously teasing her breast reawakening her arousal after her earlier orgasm. "You can use your teeth on me, but not too hard."

Quinn did as Kelly said and sucked harder. His tongue ran in circles around the peak while his fingers teased the other. He looked up and watched her lustful expressions as he worked her up.

"Oh God," she hissed, pressing her head back into the pillows as she desperately tried to cling to enough rationality to direct him, "yes, like that. N-now, reach down and t-touch me, Quinn. Women get w-wet when they're," she gasped, letting out a low moan as her hips bucked, "they're aroused. Am...am I wet for you?"

He slid his hand down and moaned around her breast as he felt the sopping arousal coating his fingers. "Fuck." He moaned as he fumbled around through her folds, "You're _dripping_."

"Do you want to taste?" she asked breathlessly, rocking her hips to slide her clit against his fumbling fingers. "You can. Just kiss down until you can taste me and," she let out a low whine as the slight roughness of callous on his fingertips scrapped over her clit, sending shudders though her body, "and lick me, Quinn."

He tore his mouth away from her breast and kissed down her chest to her stomach. He settled between her legs and looked up for a moment before leaning down and tentatively sliding his tongue through her folds. A deep moan erupted from his throat as he licked up to her clit then back down to the core of his lover's body.

"Oh...yes, Quinn," she moaned, her hips thrusting up to meet his mouth. "Now, follow the little folds to," she gasped for breath, "to where they come together and...and suck on the little hard spot."

He did as she asked and moved up to find her clit. He gently ran his teeth over the nerve before sucking on it while sliding his hands up and down her legs.

"Yes," she hissed, rolling her hips in time with the suction on her clit. "N-now... Slide down a-and slip your tongue in me..."

Quinn moved down and moved Kelly's legs over her shoulders so he could have a better angle on her body. He slid his tongue into the woman's core as far as he could go. He looked up and watched her as he slowly thrust his tongue in and out of her tight core, stroking her walls.

"Oh God," she moaned softly, her eyes rolling back in her head, "you _are_ a fast learner." She panted, her walls fluttering against his tongue, but she held onto the edge and didn't come. "T-this," she gasped, "is tongue-fucking. It," she swallowed hard, "it'll turn on a lot of women and m-make some come." After almost a minute more, she tugged on his hair, "Come here and kiss me." She was breathless with how close he'd taken her already, "I want to taste myself on your lips while you fuck me slow with your big dick, Quinn."

He moved up to her lips, kissing her forcefully as he moved to lay on top of her. He pushed himself up on his arms so he could look down at her as he rocked his hips against hers. He reached down and groaned awkwardly when he realized he needed to grab a condom from his jeans. He quickly hopped off and grabbed the foil wrapper before sliding back onto the bed, nervously he pushed off his boxers and kicked them to the side and slid on the condom. He quickly climbed back on top of her so she didn't have to see the straps that held his appendage to his body as he reached down and tried to push himself into her, only to miss then miss again on his second try. He growled as he tried to find her entrance.

Kelly barely kept her laughter in check and pulled him down into a kiss, teasing him into letting her in to explore his mouth with her tongue until he relaxed against her. "Relax," she whispered with a smile, her lips moving against his they were so close, "there's no hurry or expectations." She slid a hand down his arm and tangling her fingers with his, her palm against the back of his hand, led him down between them.

"There's no harm in using your hands, Quinn," she murmured, curling his fingers around his condom wrapped dick and easing the head down to line up with her entrance. "Women like a hands on approach sometimes," she teased, rolling her hips until he slid inside her a couple inches, bringing a soft gasp from her lips. "Think you can handle things from here?"

"Y-yeah...I think I got it." He groaned as he slowly put pressure down on his hips and pressed inside her. He filled her with with his member until they were flush against each other. "Y-You okay?"

"Never better," she whispered against his lips with a slight waver as she adjusted to feeling him stretching her. "Move with me, Quinn. This is how it's supposed to be with a man and woman." She rolled her hips, rocking against him and moaning softly at the feeling of his lower body rubbing her clit as his member moved in her. "J-just take your time and show your lover how you feel about her," she whispered, her eyes closed as she ran her hands up and down his back.

He moved with her, his biceps flexing as he used his upper body to help him with leverage. His lips pressed against her neck as he stroked in and out slowly.

"That's right," she gasped, her breath hot as it flowed over his ear. Her nails scratched his skin, sliding his tank top up in the back to rake over his lower back. She moved with him, matching his thrusts. "Perfect," her voice shook as he pushed her higher and higher, "roll your hips as y-you thrust... God, Quinn..."

Quinn nodded and rolled his hips, his years of cheerleading doing him well with stamina and strength as he continued to try to keep himself slow as he fucked Kelly. He let out small grunts as he tried to go as deep as he could inside her, though he couldn't feel how far inside he was but by the tempo of her breathing and moans he was able to guess she was close to another orgasm.

"Very good," she panted, digging her nails into his ass and pulling him close. "I'm close. God, you're good... So close..."

He moaned softly into her ear as he felt the friction from their bodies pressing against the base of his penis. He sped up just a little bit as he rotated his hips so he drove more to the left as he moved his hand to her breast. "Come for me."

"D-demanding," she gasped, smiling as she increased her speed and leaned up to nip his ear, "I like it." She clung to him as he thrust into her, his member rubbing over her g-spot with each thrust making her moan and whimper until finally she dug her nails hard into him and her body arched up under him in climax. She shuddered against him as he brought her through her second orgasm of the night. Finally, trembling, she slumped back into the bed under him and smiled up dazedly. "Very fast learner," she whispered, feeling her walls still fluttering along his shaft.

He fell down to the bed with her and wrapped his arms around her body. He rolled them, so she would be mostly on top of him, his dick still deep within her as he tried to calm his breath. "C-Can we stay like this for awhile?" he whispered, needing to cuddle after their union because of how he remembered Santana when they had finished, how she had shut down and turned into a person he never wanted her to be.

"Sure," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder and breathing in the clean scent of his sweat and the mingled odors of their arousal.

She didn't usually want her male partners to stay inside her, but it was different with Quinn. She nuzzled his neck gently wishing she was good enough of a girl to be the one who would always get to be the one he held, but she'd never been one to lie to herself and she knew who she was. She'd break his heart if she let him too close and she didn't want to be the one to do that to him.

"How do you feel?" she asked softly, gently drawing patterns over his chest through his tank top. "You still want to stay tonight, right?"

"I'd like that." He said softly pressing a kiss to her neck. "Can... Can I put my briefs back on please?" He asked as he looked into her eyes, "I'm not really comfortable being naked."

"Yeah," she nodded with a little smile, resting her arms on the bed on either side of his head and lifting herself off of him with a tiny whimper of loss. "I guess I should get cleaned up," she added, gesturing to herself. "You're welcome to the bathroom first if you want though."

He got up and carefully sliding out of bed and hiding his member with his hands shyly. He pressed a kiss to her lips and grabbed his boxers before heading into the bathroom. Quinn pulled off the condom and threw it away and washed his cock and dried it before reattaching it to his harness. He pulled his boxer briefs back on and readjusted his tank top. Coming back out to the bedroom, he smiled at the sight of her lying there nude waiting for him. "Sorry," he said as he came back to the bed looking over her bare body, "You are amazing."

Her lips twitched in a slight smile. "Thanks," she murmured, "you're pretty amazing yourself." Getting up, she walked across the room to get her robe but at the last minute changed her mind. "I suppose my walking around the the buff wouldn't bother you too much after what we did," she asked with a little shrug and a return of the slight smile. Picking up the robe anyway, she draped it over her arm to use after her shower. "I'm just going to take a shower," she explained, then looked at him, licking her lips and looking almost vulnerable for a moment, "I hope you'll still be here when I get back." Without waiting for and answer she headed out and into the bathroom, the sound of running water soon coming from the small room.

He watched her before going to get two glasses of water from the kitchen and to re-make the bed. He let his fingers fall against a photo of Kelly when she was younger with a smile. "So pretty," he whispered almost astounded how someone could willingly keep photos around. Quinn refused to keep her photos simply because they depicted her insecurities and unhappiness. He laid back on her bed and closed his eyes waiting for her to return.

Twenty minutes later, Kelly was almost afraid to come out of the bathroom. She tightened her robe twice and licked her lips, steeling her nerves before she finally reached out and turned the handle coming out. She almost didn't want to open her eyes and look at the bed she was half certain was going to be empty. Then she opened them and saw him lying there on top of the bed with his eyes closed and she couldn't help the smile that curled her lips.

"You stayed," she breathed softly, not entirely sure how to feel about him proving in one move that not all guys were like the one she remembered the most. Crossing the room, she slid into the bed beside him, reaching out to brush a hand over the hard planes of his chest under his tank top as of she couldn't believe he was real. "When did you get to be such a good man, Quinn Fabray?" she asked with a teasing smile.

"Only about a year ago..." He joked, "even then it's only a quarter of the time." He blinked his eyes open and smiled before wrapping an arm around her body. "I really like being here with you," he admitted shyly.

"Well, if it's only a quarter of the time, I'm glad I got to be part of it," she murmured, smiling lopsidedly as she let him cuddle her, only slightly stiff as she tried to let herself relax in his arms. "I wasn't expecting it, but I like you here too, Quinn. Maybe we could do this again sometime?" she ran a finger down the center of his chest, resting her head on his shoulder, "Maybe I could teach _you_ how to feel good next time."

"I don't know how you'd do that." He admitted, before kissing her head, "I like making you feel good and wanted. I like making you happy."

"Well, that's why you have a teacher," she teased, kissing his cheek. "And you are very successful at making me feel good, lover. Better than some of the others in my past, anyway."

"Good to know." He yawned and cuddled into her. "Can we stay like this tonight?"

"Yeah," she whispered, finally relaxing into him with a soft sigh, "I think I'd like that. Just... hold me tonight, Quinn. Please." She didn't tell him that she wanted to feel like she meant something to him - just for a little while. She knew she didn't deserve that, but sometimes it was nice to pretend she was the sort of girl who could be what he needed, what he wanted.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Quinn got out of her dad's car and sprinted out to the field. It was one of the big games in Western Ohio football, the Titan's vs. the Panthers. Honestly, it wasn't much of a match the Titans weren't really much of a challenge. Quinn grabbed pompoms and got out on the field. She took her place next to Santana and Brittany, having convinced Sue to put Santana back in her rightful spot now that Brittany had been missing practices to be with Artie. She smiled fakely as she watched the game, not paying any attention to anything other than the random catcalls and the sound of her father's voice booming behind her boasting her to his friends.

Santana nudged her. "Stop zoning out, Q. If Sue catches you it's gonna look bad on all of us and I don't need you pulling me down. It's hard enough being the only Latina on this white bread squad."

"Sorry, my dad is acting like the auctioneer for underaged sex trade," Quinn replied as she pretended to be excited about the touchdown attempt on the field. "I hate that man."

Santana just turned and smiled sweetly at Russell, giving him a wave before flipping him off. "Such a lovely man," she murmured, turning around to cheer what looked like a successful pass until she realized it was made by the Panthers.

Brittany grinned at both of them. "It's so cool we all get to cheer together again!"

Quinn shrugged and looked at Brittany. "Shouldn't you be with the rest of your squad over there, Brit?" Quinn asked when she saw how much Santana tensed up, "You don't want Sue to demote you to being just a regular member of the JV squad do you?" She said with a gentle touch to the other blonde arm.

"What?" Brittany looked confused for a moment before brightening. "Oh yeah, we gotta get ready for the next throw! Thanks for reminding me, Q!" She quickly hugged the other blonde before running off to join the others.

"What's going on, Quinn?" Santana asked warily. "Things are all over again which usually means someone's talking to Sue behind the scenes. I don't care what you're up to, but I don't wanna get screwed again."

"You won't be getting screwed out of anything," she smiled at her friend and scanned the field. "We're seniors, the only seniors on the squad and we're the best." She reminded her former friend, "Look, Sue demoted Brittany and she's too daft to realize it."

"She's not that dumb, Q," Santana whispered, shaking her head as she watched the girl work with the rest of the squad. "I know everyone calls her names, but she didn't get where she is by being dumb..." She shrugged, trying to force herself not to think about it. "And since when do you let anyone share your precious spotlight anyway?"

"I know she's not dumb, but she's staying back and she needs to play with the juniors." Quinn sighed, "Look, I don't wanna graduate without my friend and I don't even want to be a Cheerio anymore so I rather let someone be up here with me that cares."

Santana looked at Quinn with confused disbelief. "You've gotta be kidding me. If you don't want to be a Cheerio then quit and stop screwing me around. I don't know what your game is, Quinn, but I'm not playing anymore."

"Can... can you just calm down?" Quinn hissed as she looked at the girl. "I have to stay in Cheerios. I just don't love it and neither do you so I don't understand why you don't just enjoy being co-captain for a bit okay?"

"Because I don't love the looks I get in the fucking locker room," Santana snarled, storming away from her captain to yell at a group of JV girls trying to do a too advanced move.

Quinn followed her and glared at the scared underclassmen. "Look, you little underclassmen whores, I'm making a new decree that you little bitches have to do an hour extra of practice with JV Captain Brittany after every practice."

"What about the Juniors and Seniors?" A fresh upperclassmen asked, which caused Quinn to raise her eyebrow.

"Well, you _were_ free to leave, but now you're doing an hour more with the JV's. Only seniors get to leave at 4:00 everyone else leaves at 5." she barked as she crossed her arms and waited for a response. "Also, if I hear one lick of backtalk behind me or my co-captain's back you will be off the team." With a flip of her hair she walked back to her perch near the field.

Santana stalked back over, trying to get a grip on her anger before she lashed out. "What the hell was that?" she asked incredulously, "Some sort of fucked up team building crap? Make everyone hate the weak ass co-captain so they bond? Well, I don't need any damn favors from you or anyone else, alright!"

"Suck my dick, Santana!" Quinn nearly yelled as she kicked the bench, "Get your head out of your ass, for God's sake," she hissed she looked at her friend. "I'm being a friend and you keep kicking me in the junk so fuck this Santana. I can't try anymore if you're not gonna pretend to be okay."

"Okay? Why the fuck should I pretend to be _okay_, huh, Quinn?" she asked, throwing the stupid pompoms away. "I'm _not_ okay and I'm tired of letting everyone feel better by pretending I am! This is me! In all my fucked up glory so fucking deal! Because this, right here, this is all I had that made me feel good. This uniform and that stupid club and both of them are ruined because of _him_ but he's the goddamn victim!" She jabbed her hand at the field where Finn was fumbling another pass.

"I don't get it, Quinn, okay? I don't get why you're suddenly trying when you didn't give a shit about me for so long. You knew about me," she placed her hand over her chest. "And don't say you didn't. You _knew_. But I don't know shit about you. You say you're my friend, but you've got all the power, all the secrets. I've got nothing."

Quinn's voice broke as she tried to fumble for words, she looked up nervously to where her dad was glaring at her in the stands. "I... I care about you and I don't like knowing how hurt you are..." She whispered, looking back to the field, "I... I can't, okay? I'm not ready to talk about things in my life. It's not because I don't trust you... I just _can't_ yet." She pleaded as she heard the whistle being blown. Halftime. Quinn looked around as she thought she saw a familiar head of hair wander through her gaze, "I'm sorry, San."

"You care about me," Santana shook her head with a sigh, not believing any of it. "Sure. But your reputation and your daddy and everything else comes first." She laughed, but it wasn't very mirthful, "Figures. I'm far from number one with anyone. Let's just do this stupid show so I can get the hell out of here."

She headed out on to the field, only noticing the familiar auburn head of her off and on lover in the crowd at the last minute and giving a wave. She never quite knew how to feel about her arrangement with Kelly but at least when they were together she could forget how much things hurt for a while. She glanced at Quinn busily getting people in place before looking back to a waving Kelly with a smirk. At least maybe something would have a happy end tonight.

Quinn's eyes locked on Kelly for a moment. Her heart beat faster when she realized she was smiling. Then she felt her heart being crushed by the look on Santana's face.

Santana didn't want to think or feel or any of the other things that made her throat tighten and her heart hurt. She just wanted to perform and show everyone in the stands that judged her every day that she was worth something. Then maybe, if she was lucky, Kelly would be willing to help her forget for a few minutes that she wasn't wanted. And if she wasn't lucky, then she'd just go to the club and try to get drunk enough to not care that the person fucking her just wanted her for her face or her body because at least she'd be _wanted_.

"Let's fucking do this right, people!" she snapped, shoving a out of place underclassman into position. "No fuck ups or I'll personally grind you into the track with suicides until you fucking puke tomorrow!"

Quinn smirked at Santana and took her place out front. After the show went over with no mistakes, Quinn rested on the bench and sipped from her Powerade bottle. Her eyes were still trained to Kelly. She watched as the older girl made her way through the crowd and moved closer to where the cheerleaders sat.

Santana dropped onto the bench near Quinn and grabbed her own bottle taking a swig before scrubbing a thin sheen of sweat off her forehead with a towel. Noticing Quinn's attention, she glanced over. "What are you looking at?" she asked, sounding irritated from how the other girls had acted when she'd tried to grab a seat on the other bench. Noticing Kelly though, she smiled, "Kelly, hey!" Waving at the other girl, she stood back up and moved to hug her. "Come to see me strut my stuff?"

Kelly laughed. She enjoyed the playful side of the girl when she was sober though she didn't see it very often. "Sorry, but no. My baby brother plays for the Panthers so I'm here showing family support. Yay, Panthers." she faked a cheer, rolling her eyes. "I didn't even know you went to McKinley, Santana."

Quinn looked at the ground and anywhere but the girl she spent the night with recently. She pretended to be on her cellphone texting while Santana spoke to Kelly. She was relieved to hear that Kelly was not here for Santana, that she was here to see her brother.

"Your loss," Santana smirked, flirting, "I'm one of McKinley's top flyers and could have given you some tips but a Panther fan?" she shook her head, pretending to be sad and mocking, "I'm not so sure consorting with the enemy would be taken well." She glanced at field as the Titans fumbled another pass, losing possession of the ball to the Panthers again. "Luckily though, our team sucks. Maybe you and I could get out of here and have some fun?"

Kelly looked like she was thinking about it before shaking her head with a rueful smile. "Sorry, Santana, not tonight. I promised Ben I'd take him out to dinner after the game so I kinda have to be here for the whole thing. Besides, wouldn't your friend," she gestured at Quinn sitting behind her, "get upset about you skipping out?"

"Who? Quinn?" Santana shrugged, "She's the captain not my girlfriend or anything and we've already performed so no one cares. Too bad about having family stuff," she smiled, hiding the brief sting of not even getting a second thought from Kelly, "but maybe some other time and you know, if you get free, I'll probably be at the club."

Kelly's eyes widened slightly as she realized the pretty cheerleader texting behind Santana was her masculine but shy new lover, but she quickly reined in her reaction, smiling at Santana. "Well, maybe I will, you never know, but I haven't hung out with Ben in a while and he tends to talk so... raincheck?"

"Yeah," Santana shrugged with a smile, "sure. Whenever. You know me."

Quinn held her breath as she glanced up at Kelly, she swallowed and smiled sadly. "San, I'm gonna go and use the bathroom," She said softly as she got up and put her drink down and quickly ran off the field.

"Yeah, whatever." Santana muttered, watching her captain run off, "Why the hell tell me? I don't care if she goes to the bathroom." She shrugged.

"Chain of command? Who knows. But, hey, I better be getting back before my brother realizes I'm consorting with the enemy so I'll see you around." Kelly smiled waving at Santana as she walked away.

"Yeah, see you." Santana just dropped down to the bench as she walked off and crossed her arms over her chest wondering how easy it would be to sneak out of her house and down to the club later or if she'd have to wait until Saturday like usual.

* * *

><p>Kelly headed back to the bathrooms, looking around to see if anyone else was in there but her and Quinn and sighing gratefully as she realized they were alone. "Quinn?" she asked softly, coming up behind the girl, "Is that you?"<p>

"No," she lied as she looked in the mirror, avoiding the looks the other girl was giving her. The look of pain and anguish splashed against her face as she saw her own reflection.

"Oh," Kelly shrugged, looking slightly stung, "well, um... I heard my friend Quinn was a cheerleader here and well, if you see, um... her could you let her know that I thought she looked really good out there." Turning back to the door, she let her hand rest on the handle for a moment, giving Quinn a chance to acknowledge her in some way.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," Quinn whispered. "I didn't want you to see me." She looked down as she felt tears coming as she looked away. She sniffled and turned around, "It's too much... it's just all too much."

Kelly took a deep breath and turned around. "Like what? As a cheerleader? As a role you're playing? Quinn, you are a very handsome and virile man. Wearing a costume or playing a role doesn't make you less of one."

"It's hard to think that when I'm wearing a skirt and a padded bra..." She whispered as she looked at the older girl. "I didn't want you to see me as a girl and I didn't want you to see me with _Santana_." She swallowed, "You should... spend time with her. She's sad and I can't fix her but you doing whatever you do together makes her less angry."

Kelly watched her for a moment before speaking. "Quinn, I think you know what Santana and I do together. That doesn't make her less angry or sad or whatever it is you think she is. It doesn't... _fix_ her. I didn't lie to her. I'm spending the evening with my little brother. And I don't think you'd feel very good if I left this bathroom to go fuck your friend while you and I are doing what we're doing."

"I think she's more important and she was with you first." Quinn looked to the ground, "I think you should stop seeing me so you don't hurt her." What Quinn wasn't saying was that when she saw Kelly she thought that the girl was there for Santana and she'd felt her heart break. She knew that she could never be with Kelly in public so she might as well let Santana be happy for a little while.

"A lot of people were with me first, Quinn," Kelly pointed out softly, watching the girl. "And maybe I have a certain reputation, but it still doesn't feel very good to be dropped because of it. I thought maybe we could be friends beyond what we were doing so I took you to my home. Believe it or not, but I don't do that very often. But fine, if that's what you want, Quinn, I'll... leave you alone and just go let your friend fuck me like the slut I am." She smiled briefly, turning to the door, "Thanks for reminding me who I am. I needed it." She started opening the door, her jaw working as she tried to swallow down the sting she felt from letting Quinn as far in as she had.

"Kelly!" she choked out. "Please don't leave me," she whispered as she looked up to the girl. "I don't care about your past or your reputation. I just don't wanna hurt you or her," she whimpered as she moved to cling onto the other girl. "Please..."

Kelly's hand fell from the door handle and she wrapped her arms around Quinn. "I don't want to," she whispered, knowing she would have to. "I like you, Quinn. You're sweet and very charming and you make me feel like I'm a lot better than I am when we're together. I want to be your friend. Even after what we're doing now is done, I still want you as my friend, Quinn. You deserve someone who can commit to you and you alone as your girlfriend and that's not me. But I do like you and I like what we're doing..."

"I don't wanna hurt Santana by liking you," she whispered into Kelly's neck, "but I like you and I'm so scared."

"Santana doesn't like me," Kelly shrugged, "or well, she does, but not how you mean. She likes the familiarity of being with me. The comfort of sex if you want. But," her lips quirked, "it's not my name she calls out when she calls for someone when we're together."

Quinn sighed and held tighter to the other girl. "Can... I see you tomorrow?" She whispered as she looked up, "I don't like how I feel right now and I wish that I could be here right now as myself."

"Don't we all want to be ourselves all the time?" Kelly smiled reassuringly as she could down at Quinn and squeezed her. "Sure you can see me. I like hanging out with you. Plus it totally makes me look good to be seen with a cute stud like you." She kissed her forehead gently. "Just call me when you figure out what you want to do and I'll meet you wherever, okay?"

"How about breakfast?" She asked as she pulled away, "We can have breakfast at the diner in West Lima?" she smiled and looked at her, "Say nine AM? I need to go back to my squad..." She straightened up and kissed Kelly softly, rubbing her eyes as she sprinted back to the field.

"It's a date," Kelly whispered as she watched her run off, heading back to the bleachers with an almost sad smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The breakfast date with Kelly had gone well and Quinn had started his weekend in a relatively good mood. That evening, he'd decided to go out. His father was away on a business trip and his mother had already passed out drunk so he got dressed at home and spritzed some cologne on before leaving and heading out to the club. Strolling in, he headed over to the bar and grabbed a beer. He looked around for a moment before he saw her. _Right on time_, he thought as he watched Santana dance.

Her short black dress rode up her thighs as she ran a hand through her loose locks, rubbing her body up against the guy dancing close behind her with his hands on her hips. Quinn watched with a sad smile as she all but threw herself into dancing with the man who looked just a little too well dressed to be straight - especially in this club. Quinn's black denim jeans and a simple white v-neck shirt covered by a black vest topped off with a grey fedora and his signature black Converse was drawing attention - not only from the occasional straight women who found her way into the bar, but more than a few gay men. However, his eyes were glued to Santana's body as it writhed against her dance partner from the moment they'd landed on her.

Santana didn't care who watched her or what they were thinking about her as she writhed against her dance partner. She'd rarely been without a drink in her hand since the moment she'd walked in the door nearly two hours earlier and she hadn't paid for a one. _The low cost of being smoking hot_, she thought to herself with a smirk. Yet, when she opened her eyes, she found them meeting the strangely familiar hazel of the guy who'd been all but haunting her the last couple of weeks through the dim light of the bar.

He smirked and drank from his bottle as he followed her body with his eyes. She was sexy and he couldn't help but watch her. A man came up and bought Quinn a second drink, and he smiled at him as he walked away.

While he was distracted watching the guy who'd bought him the drink, Santana had moved from the dance floor to the bar and slipped up beside him. "So, you play for both teams?" she asked softly, whispering in his ear with a smirk as she leaned on the bar beside him.

"Nope, just like free beer." He replied as he kept his eyes off her and on the dance floor. He drank from his bottle and rested his back against the counter. "You seem to be here often enough... looking for something or someone?"

"I don't know," she looked him over, trying to figure out why he always seemed so familiar but unable to make the connection with her alcohol fogged mind, "I think I could say the same about you. You seem to like watching me though. Like what you see?"

"Yes." he said simply as he took another swig. "Is that a problem?"

She shrugged, "You seem a little straight for me, but... I can work with that. Do you ever dance or do you just scare all of the boys and girls off me for fun?"

"I can dance," he shrugged. "And you didn't seem interested in any of those people if you ask me," he remarked as he finished his beer and took her hand and led her to the dance floor. "You sure you weren't just waiting for me tonight?"

"Maybe I was, since you seem determined to be the only partner I have," she murmured into his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her body pressing into his. "Think you have what it takes to show me a good time? I've got pretty high standards, you know."

"I think I proved last time that I can please you." He explained as he settled his hands on her lower back. "I think that you have been waiting for me to come and please you again with my thick dick." He husked into her ear.

She shivered slightly at the feeling of his warm breath flowing over her ear. "Maybe. But maybe a hard fuck in a backseat is all you're good for too. What if I don't want that tonight? Are you one of those one trick ponies?" She ground her hips into him as they danced, pressing the bulge of his member back into his body. "You got me once, but if that's all you got, it's not enough for an encore, handsome."

"I can make you forget your name." He nipped at the side of her neck, "Do you wanna scream with pleasure as I fuck you until you plead for me to give you sweet release?"

"Mmm, you promise a lot," Santana whispered, moving with him, "but can you really deliver any of that? You told me you'd make me forget my name last time and I still know who I am. Not so sure who _you_ are, but it'll come to me eventually." She slid her hands down to knead his ass, "Handsome guy like you doesn't stay unknown for long in a small town like this."

"I like the mystery." He husked, "I like watching you try to keep figuring out who I am." He turned her around and pressed himself into her ass. "I like fucking you, and I think you wanna fuck me too."

"You might be right," she agreed, reaching back to grip his neck as she slid down his body and back up, rubbing against his crotch. "But maybe I'm just looking for someone to fuck and you're handy." She leaned her head back against his shoulder and rolled her hips, pressing her ass back into the bulge of his unit, "I've got lots of options here. Lots of these girls want to get their fingers and tongues on my body. Why should I leave with a boy like you?"

"Because you keep coming back to me," he said simply as he moved with her. "Because despite your lady loving you keep coming back to me and I can satisfy you like they can't."

Santana snorted, "Please don't tell me you just suggested you could fuck me straight. Doesn't work like that and I just like sex. Boys, girls, doesn't matter. Women just have a special something you guys don't bring to the table that makes it a little better for me."

"No no, I know that. I'm not some stupid jock." Quinn said seriously, "I just said there is something that might keep your interest which is why you keep coming back." He smiled as he kept moving with her.

"You have soft hands," Santana offered simply. "Not soft like the gay guys in here who spend all their time primping, but gentle and well... soft. And you smell better than most of the guys I've been with. Not like they were dirty or nothing, I have standards. But I like how you smell..." She blushed slightly as she admitted it, trying to distract him by sliding one of his hands up from her hip to just below her breast.

"I like how you smell too... like spice and vanilla," He said, kissing the nape of her neck as he pushed her hair aside, "You're beautiful."

"I know," she whispered, tilting her head to the side to let him kiss her neck, her eyes falling closed as they kept moving together. "Everyone tells me that. You need something better if you want to get with me again."

"No, people tell you that you're sexy," he replied as he ran his fingers on the bottom of the girl's breast. "You, though, are beautiful. You are exquisite and sensual but you are so beautiful that it makes me smile just thinking about you. _That's_ why I watch you."

"Please don't lie about things like that," Santana spoke so softly she was barely audible over the music as she stopped dancing. "Come on," she tugged on his hand, pulling him off the dance floor and towards the exit to try and keep him from saying things that made her heart hope, "let's get out of here."

He followed quietly, tilting the hat down on his head do she couldn't see his face much. "Where are we going?"

"My car," she replied, keeping a hold on his hand as she pulled him across the parking lot, shivering slightly from cold but not having worn a coat into the club. The Escalade chirped in the back corner of the lot where she usually parked as she pressed the button. "Unless," she looked back at him uncertainly, "you don't want to now?"

"Car is fine," he said as he followed her and took off his vest and wrapped her body in it. "Sorry, it's not much." He shrugged as he headed to the car. "I think it's too cold to strip in the parking lot like last time." He teased as he put his hand on the small of her back.

She took a deep breath biting her lip. "Maybe... would you like to find a motel?" she glanced up at him uncertainly, "I've had a bit too much to drive but... maybe?" She held out her keys, offering him more trust than she usually did with guys. If he hadn't spent most of the last week taking care of her and making sure she got home safe instead of taking advantage of her being way more intoxicated than she currently was, she wouldn't have been willing to. But he had and after being rejected at the football game last night by Kelly, she was hoping she could trust someone to not hurt her for once.

"We can go to the motel a few blocks from here," Quinn said as he opened the door for Santana. He helped her into the car and then moved to the driver's seat. He turned the car on and pulled out slowly, heading in silence to the motel. He reached over and put his hand on her thigh as they drove. He pulled in, "Wait here, okay?" He said softly as he pulled into a close parking space. He quickly ran inside and talked to the clerk for a few moments before paying and smiling on his return to the car. He opened her door and offered his hand. "We're in room 5."

She took his hand hesitantly, allowing him to help her slide out of the car. "I'm kinda nervous," she admitted. "I don't... I don't usually do... this." She nodded at the motel, following him to the room and leaning on the wall as she watched him open the door. "I know I've got a reputation and stuff, but... I really don't..."

"I don't either." He admitted, "I don't normally hook up with people, but since our time in the car I've wanted to see you again like that." He smiled and took her to the door. "If you don't want to... I can still drive you home. Or we can go inside."

She shook her head, offering a shy smile. "I don't want to go home. You... you're the sweetest guy I think I've ever met," she admitted softly. "Most guys don't try to take care of me at all but you do. It... makes me feel special. Thank you." She slipped into the room once he got the door open, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room and looking at the double beds. "So, um... what happens now?"

He laughed softly turning on a low light, "I'm not sure. I've never really done this before," he shrugged and moved over to the radio and put on a station for some background music, "I kinda wish this place was nicer, like not some random motel... It should be nice for you." He put his hands in his pockets and scuffed his feet against the floor.

"See? There you go being sweet again," Santana laughed to hide the fact that she felt like crying every time he did something nice for her. "Maybe," she took a breath, reaching behind her for the zipper of her dress, "maybe I should strip for you like last time?"

"If you want." He said, "We... or... I could help you?" He offered as he came around the back of her and put her hands on her waist. "If that's okay?"

"Yeah," Santana breathed, letting her hands slide away from the fasteners of her clothes and giving a little shiver of anticipation at letting him see her in the much better lighting of the motel. "Please..."

He pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck as he worked the zipper down. He ran his hands inside her dress as he helped her remove it until it pooled on the floor and Santana was only left in her thong. He kept kissing along her back as he kicked off his shoes and let his hands roam over the flat panes of the girl's stomach. "What would you like me to do now?"

"Can I..." she turned and slid her hands down his chest and stomach to the waist of his jeans, sliding her fingers under the waistband and fiddling with the button. "Please? The guys I've been with just undress enough to," she shrugged, "you know. Get it in. It... I just," she chewed on her bottom lip nervously before sighing and slipping her hands from his waist, "never mind..."

"I... Y-you can take them off." He whispered as he looked at her. He was scared, thinking that she would turn him away when she knew he wasn't a what she was expecting.

"Really?" she asked with a tiny smile that didn't go away as she bit her lip and carefully unfastened his jeans, kneeling as she slid them down his hips so he could step out of them. "You're really muscular," she murmured, sliding her hands over his legs, feeling the strong muscles, "but not like bulky. I like it," she smiled up at him from her place kneeling on the floor in front of him, her fingers brushing over his thigh just below the hem of his boxers. "Maybe I could make you feel good right here?" she breathed, running her hand over the hard bulge of his unit through his shorts.

He groaned as he looked down at her, "I.. I need to tell you something." he whispered, scared of getting rejected if he wasn't really biologically male.

She closed her eyes, waiting for rejection with a sad smile as she sat back on her heels. "What? You're married? You have AIDS? Whatever... you don't have to make excuses." She looked down at the floor, painfully aware of the pale patch on the side of her breast where her birthmark used to be as she folded her arms over her chest. "You don't want me, that's fine. You can go if you want..."

"No, sweetie," he smiled softly as he reached down to run his hand through her hair. He sighed and pushed down his boxers and stepped back letting her take in the fact that his penis was a strap on.

Santana looked at the harness holding his member snug against his body confusedly for a second. She reached up and slid her fingers over the straps, before gently stroking his member. "Did you have an accident? I've read about that before. Like sometimes stuff happens to a soldier's junk and he has to use a strap on after that..."

"No," he shook his head, watching her, "that's not it. I'm... I'm not... I wasn't born male, Santana."

"You... you're not a guy?" She sounded more confused than turned off. "Like... not a real one? But you're so much _like_ a guy..."

"I was born a girl..." he said softly, "But, I feel like a guy in here," he touched his temple, "and in here." he laid his hand over his heart. "I'm a guy, but I don't have the right junk... Is.. that okay?"

She thought about it for a moment before letting out a sigh. "I don't understand. I'm not gonna lie and pretend I do, okay? But you're like a guy... who's a girl?" She shook her head. "That doesn't really make any sense, but," she shrugged, "you're you and you're really sweet to me so," licking her lips she leaned forward and closed her eyes before kissing the tip of Quinn's dick, "who cares if it's real or not? You know how to use it which is more than I can say for _some_ guys." She glanced up at Quinn thoughtfully, her hand brushing up and down his shaft, "Are you sure it wouldn't feel good to suck you?"

"I wanna watch." He whispered as he watched her, "I wanna see your lips wrapped around me."

She smirked, back in her element as she pushed him to sit down on the bed. "Trust me, you don't want to stay standing for this. Not to brag or anything," she licked up his member from the base to the tip, swirling her tongue about the tip for a moment as she watched him, "but I'm pretty good at this." Taking just the tip in her mouth, she sucked, hollowing her cheeks as she rolled her eyes up to see his reaction, using her hand to push the base against his body under the harness, almost accidentally stimulating his clit.

"Oh shit," he groaned as his hand came up and rested on the back of Santana's head as he watched the girl bob up and down on his cock.

"I will get you off," she muttered as she let him slide out of her mouth with a pop, pushing the base down again as she licked him like a lollipop, making his dick bob in her hand, "I mean you gotta be able to have an orgasm. Everyone can..." The rest of her words were muffled as she slid down as far as she could go, gagging slightly as he brushed her uvula.

He whimpered again, his breath coming in pants as he bit his lip. "You feel amazing," he sighed as he arched up and rocked his hips making the base of his dick press into his core. "God..." he exclaimed, "I wanna be inside you."

She nodded, sliding off him and standing with a smile as she slid her hands down her body to the straps of her thong, hooking her thumbs in and slipping it down off her hips before tossing it away and leaving her completely naked and exposed to his lustful gaze. She put a hand in the center of his chest, pushing him back to lie on the bed, his member standing at attention. "Just lie back and let me take care of you," she whispered in her best attempt at a sultry voice.

Climbing onto the bed, she straddled him, hovering above his dick. "Do you know how wet I am for you?" she whispered, taking one of his hands and pressing it between her legs, his fingers sliding between her folds to encounter the slick, heat of her center, dripping with arousal. "Because I know what you are now. Because I know you're a guy," she reached down and coated her own fingers with her arousal and stroked his dick before lining him up and sliding down on top of him with a low groan, "who knows what it's like to be a girl." She shivered, as she started moving on top of him, riding him so the wet sound of their joining filled the room. "Touch me please... while you're in me, touch me..."

Quinn's eyes rolled back into his head and he nodded. "You feel so amazing," he whimpered and started to rock his hips up to meet Santana's thrusts. He brought his hand up to his lips and licked off the essence from his fingers before returning his digits to her clit. He put his head against her collarbone to avoid gazing into her eyes as he rocked with her.

She moved with him, whimpering with each brush of her breasts against the roughness of his shirt. She wasn't surprised he wouldn't look at her - no one who fucked her would - but it didn't mean it didn't hurt a little. Instead she leaned back to bring her breasts closer to his face. "Please... suck," she gasped, continuing to rock and letting out whimpers and moans as his member rubbed against her g-spot and his fingers stimulated her clit. At least if he was sucking her tits, it wouldn't sting as sharply when he wouldn't look at her.

He quickly looked up into her eyes, getting lost for a moment in her pain and lust filled pupils. He smiled softly before moving down to wrap his lips around the nipple and sucked as he pressed his dick deeper into the girl. He brought his other hand down to her ass and rocked them together.

She froze for the split second his eyes locked with hers. There was something in those hazel depths that called her to recognize him. She struggled with the recalcitrant memory but couldn't get it to surface before her body demanded a more physical reaction. She moaned loudly and knotted her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer as his lips and teeth sent sharp spikes of feeling through her body, her hips rolling faster against him. Her breath came in quick pants as she came closer and closer to the edge, her body stimulated to a frenzy by the triple threat of his dick, fingers and mouth.

He moaned against her breast as he continued to circle her clit quickly. Quinn quickly switched nipples and bit down softly as he continued to slowly roll his hips and pinched the girl's clit. "I want you so let go," he whispered as he looked up at her.

"Kiss me," she whispered, her breath coming fast as she lost herself in his strangely familiar eyes. "I want to feel wanted..." She shook on top of him, barely holding on to the edge, fingers digging into his shoulders as she rode him.

"You're so very wanted, Santana," he whispered as he cupped her cheek and pressed their lips together softly. He whimpered and arched up into her as he felt his own orgasm coming. "I'm gonna come," he whimpered against her lips.

She whimpered, trying to ignore the tears trickling down her cheeks as she rode him to her own climax. "Oh God," she sobbed, feeling the wave break over her, "Quinn!" She didn't know it was him she called out for as she tensed and spasmed against him. That he was the one she wished was pushing her over the edge and waiting at the bottom to catch her again.

He came with a gasp, then he heard his name ring through his ears. He fell back and pulled her with him, his dick still buried within her. He cradled her to his chest and stroked her back. He pressed kisses to her temple as he held her while she cried through her orgasm. He hadn't expected her to say his name, he knew that she hadn't recognized him... but the lingering reminder of what Kelly said the night before about Santana calling other people's names out whispered in the back of his mind. Quinn just never thought it would be his she called.

She wasn't in any place she was used to so she didn't react as she normally did, getting up and away from the person she'd been with. Instead she cuddled into his chest and let him hold her as she cried, her body pulsing around his member over and over in lingering remnants of her orgasm. "Why are you so nice to me?" she finally sobbed, "I don't deserve it. Stop making me want you..."

He wrapped his arms around her and breathed in the sent that was purely Santana. "Maybe I've wanted you all along. That's the only reason I'm here." He whispered into her ear as he stroked her back softly. "I'm nice to you because you deserve it."

"You don't want me," she cried into his chest. "No one does. I'm an unlovable bitch and I...I push everyone away and make them hate me. I don't deserve anyone being nice to me because I...I didn't want to come out yet. E-everyone says so..."

"Hey," He leaned up and wiped off the tears from her cheeks, "You're not unlovable... maybe unobtainable... but not unloveable okay. I'm nice to you because I think you are special and beautiful," he whispered as he kissed her forehead. "Don't worry about the outside world tonight, okay? You're drunk and maybe we should rest for a bit, sober up before we head out?" He said softly, hating when Santana got to her weepy stage of drunk. He knew there was no making her feel better.

"But I'm not unobtainable!" She sobbed, pressing her face into his chest and clinging to him. "I've tried and tried to give myself to people I liked but none of them _wanted_ me! I'm not number one with _anyone_ and I never have been! I don't know why I'm not good enough. I try so hard but I'm never good enough..."

"You've always been perfect, but maybe everyone else wasn't ready?" he whispered, "Maybe they couldn't be with you until they found themselves...?" he asked as he thought about his own feelings. He could have never been with Santana until he was okay with himself, then Santana came out as a lesbian and he though he lost his chance.

"I'll die alone of old age first," she scoffed, bitter and hurting. "I can't like anyone," she sniffled. "If I do, they end up hating me or...or they make me tell them how I feel and dump me for someone else. Or," she sneered, Quinn's rejection the most painfully recent, "they tell me they can't be a _girl_ for me. As if that matters."

Quinn almost laughed, wishing Santana would figure it out. "If you say you're a lesbian... wouldn't that make sense? Wouldn't someone not being a girl... wouldn't a man not be what you wanted?"

"I just like girls better than guys," she whimpered, unhappy and just wanting to be held. "Women are just... they're soft and gentle and smell good. But that doesn't mean guys are bad. It doesn't mean I don't like guys. I wouldn't be here if I didn't, right?"

"Maybe the person who turned you down is scared. Maybe he didn't know you'd be open to being with men," he whispered as he rolled her to the side. He carefully pulled out of her and held her tightly, "I just... being a girl might not be an option."

Santana whimpered, feeling the loss almost immediately and curling closer to him as if to make up for it. "Maybe no one ever asks me anything. Not if I'm ready to come out or if I might be okay trying with guys or anything. They all just want an excuse to leave me. You'll make one too eventually."

He reached for the blanket and put it over their bodies. "Sweetie, lets get some rest okay?" he whispered as he pressed a light kiss to her lips, "Close your eyes, San. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Maybe this time," she whispered, worn out by her own angst about people not wanting her. She nuzzled against Quinn's neck and cuddled close. She didn't really think he'd be there when she woke up, but at least he was there now and that was a major change from the way most of her drunk Saturdays ended.

h


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Quinn had his head resting on Santana's shoulder, his arms tightly wrapped around Santana's body. He hadn't meant to sleep all night, he thought they'd sleep then he'd take her home before the morning sun. That had obviously failed as evidenced by the bright sun was now streaming through the dingy motel blinds.

Santana woke up slowly, blinking painfully against the harsh glare of the light on her hangover sensitive eyes. She shielded them with her hand as she looked around confusedly trying to remember first where she was and second who she was with. She was decidedly aware of her nudity and what felt like an erection sliding against her inner thigh so she figured it was a guy until a bit of the memories from last night filtered in and reminded her that he was a special kind of guy with a strap on. She groaned, wanting to get the godawful pounding in her head to stop as she tried pushing herself to her hands and knees to crawl out of the motel bed.

She was just realizing just how pleasantly sore she was between her thighs when a beam of light from the window passed over her lover's face just right. Santana's eyes widened as the memory that refused to present itself last night came roaring to the front of her mind. "Q-Quinn?" Her voice shook and for one scared moment she was afraid she's throw up all over her bedmate. "Y-you're _Quinn_?"

She couldn't believe it as she scrambled backwards staring at him in shock. Her ass hit the ground painfully as she fell out of the bed, scrambling back ignoring the way the cheap carpet burned her skin. "_Quinn_?" she sounded both hurt and confused by the revelation.

"Oh _God_," Quinn groaned as he ran his hand over his face, "Why are you yelling? Come back to bed." He said as he rolled onto his stomach and closed his eyes again, not realizing that Santana had figured everything out.

"Why am I yelling? Why are you _Quinn_?" She pointed at him accusingly from her place on the floor. "What is this some sort of sick joke?" Her face twisted with pained upset, "You didn't get enough pleasure just making everyone hate me you had to fuck me and screw with me _that_ way too? Why am I such a goddamn game to you?"

Quinn sat up quickly, his cropped blonde hair messed up and his shirt having rode up in his sleep to expose his abs and his legs out in front of him and his strap on protruding out from under the thin blanket. He blinked as he looked at Santana, "What? I didn't make anyone hate you!" He defended as he tried to figure out what was going on. "You're not a game... do... do... How don't I mean _anything_ to you? After last night? I thought..."

"I didn't even know who you _were_!" Santana sobbed, unable to even look at Quinn. "You could have told me but you...you just _lied_ to me! _Again_! You let me pour out my stupid fucking heart to you thinking you were just some sweet guy who was being nice to me. How could you? He was the one person who didn't reject me and you had to take him too!"

"I am that fucking _GUY_, Santana!" Quinn yelled, as he stood up and found his jeans. He quickly pulled them on. "I wasn't lying about what I said last night. I'm a guy and you're just fucking scared because you know you feel something for me and you _know_ I feel the same." He hissed, as he looked at Santana. "I'm not rejecting you because _this_... this is the only way I can be confident!"

"You don't want me! Don't pretend you want me!" Santana yelled into her knees as she hugged them protectively close to her chest. "You could have told me who you were! You could have told me! I was fucking _drunk_ and...and you made me think someone liked," her voice shook with tears as she took in a trembling breath, "_me_... What did I do to you to make you do that? I never ever betrayed you. I never told your secrets. I lied to your fucking father for you! But when I tried to give you me you _didn't want me_ and now? Now you do _this_?"

"I told you I'm not gay!" Quinn said, "I'm... I'm sorry. I went to the club and you came onto me and I couldn't stop it. I wanted to be with you and you wanted me..." he sniffled as he looked down at her, "I... Finally being myself, _finally_, Santana. I... can't be like this all the time... please get off that gross floor, please." He whispered as he offered his hand to her. "Please, San."

"Of course, I wanted you," Santana sobbed into her knees, not seeing the hand reaching out to her with her face buried in her knees. "I've always wanted you but you never wanted _me_. I don't care about the being a guy shit. But everyone assumes they know me. They just _assume_! Even you! Why doesn't anyone _ask_?"

She finally raised her tear-streaked face to look at Quinn with such longing it hurt to look at. "Why couldn't you have just told me? I would have been okay. I would have kept your secret. But...but you lied and pushed me away instead. Y-you were my only _real_ friend besides Brittany..."

"Yeah... because coming up to you and going, 'Hey San, so I think I'm transgendered. I'm really a guy... So I'm gonna go now and have to live my life as a chick because I can't tell anyone!' God, San, I'm sorry... I thought maybe... _maybe_ you'd understand!" He exclaimed, "I hate myself. God, I'm pretty sure we stopped being close when I figured it out because I was pretty dead set on killing myself over this."

Santana laughed bitterly, finally pushing herself up off the floor. "How could I understand when I never even had the chance?" She sniffled, wiping at her cheeks as she started looking for her clothes. "But you can push me away in private. When it's _just us_ in my room. You can push me away there but you can take me to a cheap fucking motel and fuck me dressed like a guy. You can't _tell_ me you'd be happier as a guy and I could maybe have a chance that way and let me feel for _once_ in my life that I came first with someone. That I _mattered_ to someone." She shoved her thong into her purse and picked up her dress hugging it to her chest with her trembling back to Quinn. "I had to find out by _accident_... Do you know how that made me feel?"

She finally looked at Quinn. "Don't talk to me about killing yourself when I almost did after that asshole Finnept outted me as if his privileged white ass had _any_ right to and not one person stood up against him. I spent two days in the hospital after getting my fucking stomach pumped but who cares, right? Just the dramatic bitch Santana." She scoffed at the look on Quinn's face, as she dropped down on the bed to wiggle into her dress. "Don't act so fucking surprised. It's not like you or anyone else bothered to stop by and see if I was okay. At least you get to keep _your_ secrets, Quinn."

In a second, Quinn had dropped to the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around Santana. "I didn't know," he whispered, holding her tightly against his chest. "San... I didn't know. I'm sorry I was too wrapped in my own pain to help you. I'm so sorry I let you down." He cried softly, "I'm sorry and you don't ever have to forgive me or understand why I did this." He caught his breath through his tears and looked at her once she stopped struggling. "I... I care so much about you and I can't... I'm sorry I couldn't tell you when we were alone... I'm sorry I'm scared and I can't be me when I'm forced to be someone I'm not. I'm sorry..."

She'd struggled at first but it wasn't long before she relaxed into the embrace she'd wanted more than anything from someone. Her head rested tiredly on Quinn's chest, "I never asked you to be someone you're not. I just asked you to be my friend. You don't have to be someone you're not with me. You can just be you and my friend and that's good enough. I don't want to make you be...whatever. I just want my friend back. My Quinn..."

"I'm sorry I ever left," he whispered, resting his chin on her shoulder. "San... I got lost." he closed his eyes and held her tighter, "I finally found me... but I was scared people wouldn't be okay. That you'd leave me." he sniffled, "I'm sorry I hurt you in the process of... this."

Finally her arms snaked around his waist and she buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Please don't leave me again. It's really lonely without any friends and I really need you in my life, Q..."

"I'm here," he whispered. "I promise..." He laid them back and cuddled her to his chest. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just... I wanted to make sure you were being protected and okay at the club. I hated how everyone looked at you like you were tasty tasty bacon." He said softly as he took her hand and tangled their fingers together. "I didn't want anyone else to get to taste you like that."

Santana laughed waterily, wiping at her eyes as she cuddled against him. "I'm bacon huh? But you didn't eat me last night," she teased. "You could have," she added shyly, "I would have let you."

"I was preoccupied by you sucking me off," he joked, as he pressed a kiss to the center of her forehead. "Maybe if I ever get another chance to be with you like that... it will be the first thing I do."

"Maybe if you asked me out," she offered shyly, afraid of being rejected, "you could have a pretty good chance of being with me like that again."

Quinn smiled. "I'll have to do just that," he said as he pressed a soft kiss to her eyelids, "But I'm gonna do it right and not after we just screamed at each other, okay?"

Santana let out a low growl, throwing a leg over his hips and rolling until she was straddling him and on top. She smirked down at him as she pinned his wrists above his head and leaned over him. "Well, how about make up sex then? We've got a couple of hours before checkout. What do you say we make the most of it?"

He watched her for a moment and leaned up and pressed their lips together, "I want this to be more than sex, Santana." He whispered, "You deserve more than sex."

"If you're my friend," Santana whispered, looking down into his eyes, "my Quinn, then it's more than just sex." She kissed him, rolling her hips against him to push against his bulge, "I want you to take me, Quinn. I want to know it's you and know you care and want me. Just...show me you want me. Please?"

He nodded and flipped them, kissing her neck softly before sliding down her body. He pushed up her dress to her waist and kissed her thighs before parting her legs. He kissed her mound softly, inhaling the earthy smell of his lover. He looked up and smiled. "I'm gonna start making good on my promises," he said as he brought his lips down and slowly parting her folds with his tongue.

Santana moaned, barely resisting bucking up as she raised up on her elbows and spread her thighs a little wider to watch him lapping at her folds. "Oh God, that has to be the hottest thing I've ever seen," she groaned, her body already starting to respond and slick her lower lips with arousal.

He slid his tongue up to her clit and flicked it a few times before capturing it between his lips and sucking. He ran his hands up and down her legs before finally pulling her thighs over his shoulders so he had better access to her core. He nipped it slightly as she bucked into his face. He looked up and locked his eyes with hers as he lapped at her clit.

"Oh God," she gasped, falling back onto the bed and lifting her hips to increase the pressure slightly. She couldn't look away from his intense hazel gaze as his tongue sent electric jolts straight through her with each flick. "Oh God, Quinn..."

With a quick change of position Quinn slid her tongue deep into Santana's passage. He whimpered at the taste of her as he started to fuck her with his tongue. His hand moved to her clit and rubbed slowly as he worked his tongue as deeply inside her as he could reach.

"Oh my God," Santana squeaked, her head falling back as for the first time she let a guy do something to her she's previously only let two woman do. Her hips bucked into his mouth begging him to go deeper. She dug her heels into his back as she moaned, pressing her back and shoulders into the bed to raise her hips higher.

Quinn smiled and slid his tongue as far as he could go then rolled it inside her. He pinched her clit with his fingers and lapped her opening until she whined. He chuckled softly and filled her again as deep as he could go.

Santana was shuddering under the continual assault of her core by Quinn's tongue and fingers. The pressure kept building and building like a fire between her legs and every thrust of his tongue was like trying to douse it with gasoline. She could feel a strange full sensation like she had to pee and she shook trying to hold it in. "Oh God, Quinn," she gasped, "so close!"

"Come for me, San," he husked as he bit the inside of her thigh, leaving a mark before returning to suck on her clit. He flicked his tongue back and forth rapidly as his cheeks hollowed in suction.

The bite followed by the tongue-lashing he was giving her was too much to resist. She cried out wordlessly as she came hard, her body releasing her climax in a gush of fluid into his mouth. Her back arched up off the bed as she tensed in orgasm, her body shaking hard as she finally started to come down. "Oh God, Quinn...oh my God..." she gasped over and over as she tried to come back to herself.

Quinn lapped up everything Santana had to offer before sliding up next to her body. He ran his hand over her heaving chest and pressed a kiss over her heart and just watched her.

"I've never," she gasped, rolling her head to look at him, "you..." She shook her head, unable to find the words for what she wanted to say and just pulled him down into a fierce kiss, slipping her tongue between his lips and searching for the taste of her own juices as she slid a hand down his body to cup him through his pants. "I want you on top," she whispered against his lips, "and I want you inside me. I don't want to be Santana the lesbian right now. Can I just be your girlfriend for now? Can I be normal with you?"

"You can be my girlfriend," he whispered in between kisses, "if I can be your boyfriend." He smiled as he spoke before pulling away to pull down his pants and boxers. He got back on top of her and kissed her deeply again as he used his hand to line up with her entrance. "But, I don't think ether of us can be normal... we're special and that's okay," he said as he pushed the head inside her and hovered there until she told him it was okay to move.

She slumped back into the bed for a moment with a soft sigh. "I know we can't be normal," she whispered, pulling him down on top of her as she rolled her hips to take him in, whimpering softly as she felt him bottom out against her cervix. "I just...I wanted to feel normal for a little bit. That's all."

"Baby," Quinn whimpered as they became joined, his hips rocking slowly as he spoke, "we're special and we make our own normal okay? But as far as the world cares? You're my girlfriend and I'm your boyfriend." He beamed, happy at the terms that came out of his mouth, "We're as normal as it gets."

As far as the world cared they weren't anything but two girls being freaks together, but Santana carefully kept that depressing thought to herself as she saw Quinn's smile. The bright, truly happy smile she rarely got to see and that made her think that maybe - just maybe - things really could be okay. She knew she couldn't bear to wipe it away, so she smiled back and moved with him, her body slowly beginning to writhe under him in a slow dance.

"Yeah," she whispered, "fuck what everyone thinks." She broke off in a gasp as he brushed her g-spot at the same time the base of his unit rubbed over her clit sending a wave of electric fire through her. "We've got each other."

"Does that feel good?" he asked softly, kissing her neck and sucking on her earlobe. "I wish I could feel your pussy squeezing my dick," he grunted, his shoulders and biceps flexing as he started to work her body faster. "God, you're so beautiful."

"Yes," she gasped, swallowing hard. "God, I wish you could too. You feel so fucking big," she whimpered, "and I have to stretch to take you all but it's so good..." She moved with him, sliding her hands down to grip his ass, her nails digging hard into his flesh to encourage him to pound her harder. "So fucking good..."

Quinn rolled his hips and sped up his thrusting, the bed thumped into the wall with the force of their love making.

"God," she whimpered, leaning up to crush her breasts against his chest, peppering his jaw and neck with frantic kisses as her legs wrapped around his waist, heels digging into his ass. "Yes, so good, Quinn. Please...please want me..."

"I want you, I always do," he whispered as he altered his angle to hit her g-spot. "I want you to know how amazing you are." He grunted softly with every thrust, his abs burning at the strain of keeping up the angle and intensity.

"Kiss me," she hissed, her body trembling on the verge of another orgasm, "Please..."

He leaned down and captured her lips, his tongue teasing her lips to part them. He slid his tongue inside so he could taste her mouth, kissing her hard as he continued to thrust inside her.

Santana moaned into the kiss as her body pushed through into an orgasm, clenching over and over on his member as it continued to slide in and out of her slick core. She gasped for breath, her nails digging so hard into his back, she was certain she was leaving welts but she couldn't help it. Her body was a tense as a drawn bow beneath him for a long moment as she came, but finally she relaxed, slumping back down into the mattress but keeping her arms and legs wrapped around him, holding him close.

"Don't move," she whimpered, wanting to cling to the closeness of a little longer. "Just... please don't move. I want... I need to stay like this for a little bit before we go back to the real world."

He laid his body on hers, unable to hold himself up. He rested his head on her chest and tried to catch his breath. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for accepting me."

She let her legs relax from around his hips, but kept her arms around his upper body, gently stroking his back. "You're my friend, Quinn. I know most people think I'm a shallow, vain, status-obsessed bitch, but I've always tried to be there for my friends." She laid like that under him, feeling him inside of her, for what felt like forever before she finally whispered, "Come home with me. You can change at my place and leave your guy stuff there so your asshole dad doesn't find out. I know you'll get in trouble for staying out all night, but I've still got one of your spare Cheerio uniforms and Sue calling a stupid long practice is always a good excuse."

He nodded hating the idea of having to be Lucy again. "Yeah..." He sighed, kissing her softly before gently pulling out and rolling onto his back. "Yeah, we should bounce."

Santana whimpered at the loss, but pushed herself up and started straightening her clothes. "Quinn," she began, running her fingers through her hair and untangling the worst of the knots, "if you're a guy... like _really_ a guy," she glanced over at him, "then you're a guy no matter what you wear or how you're shaped. Dealing with your asshole dad is like, I don't know. Playing a role in one of those ridiculous musicals Glee tries to put on every year. It's temporary and not you, you know? I mean, I rocked the part of Anita, hands down, but I'm not _her_."

"I know, San," he said as he looked at her with a sad smile. "I'm gonna go," he nodded to the bathroom and quickly went inside and washed off his strap on and wiped the remainders of his arousal out from between his legs before heading back out and pulling on his boxers and jeans. He pulled his shirt on and pulled his hair back into a ponytail. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, "Ready to go?"

She'd used the time in he was in the bathroom to finish getting herself presentable and stood with a smile. "Yeah," She reached out and took his arm, leaning against his shoulder as she stood beside him for a moment. "I really hope that you do plan on asking me out some time, Quinn," she whispered nervously as they headed out of the room and got into the car after dropping the room key in the drop box. "Because I'm not sure I could handle it if that's a lie." She reached across the console to take his hand, looking anxious as she buckled up and put the SUV into drive to head back to the club for Quinn's car.

"I'm gonna ask you out," he assured her with a smile, "I'm gonna do it all proper." He squeezed her hand and looked out the window as they drove. Once at the club, he got out and got into his own car before following Santana back to her house.

Santana couldn't help the tiny smile that curled her lips as she headed back to her house, or the quick glances in her rearview periodically to check that Quinn was still back there. She was happy for once in her high school life. Quinn Fabray, the one person she'd actually gotten into fights with Brittany about because of her crush, wanted to be with her. Wanted to _date_ her. Which was somehow even better. She laughed softly, unable to contain it. So what if Quinn was a guy? He was still built like a girl. Still soft like one with the same alluring smells of one. She could live with him being a guy even help him be one if it made him smile like he did a little while ago.

She pulled into her driveway and carefully parked before hopping out and heading up the porch to the front door with a little shiver. Her parents weren't home, but it was definitely cold outside and she almost fumbled the keys twice before she got the door unlocked she was shivering so bad in her little dress. Finally, she got it open and breathed a happy sigh of relief at the warm rush of air as she opened the door, waving at Quinn to hurry up and join her.

Quinn got inside the house with Santana and smiled, "I haven't been here in a long time." He smiled as he looked over to Santana. "We should go get cleaned up, right?" he asked looking to the stairs.

"Please, two weeks is not a _long time_ unless you're a baby. But you've never been here as," she glanced over at him with a shy smile as she closed the door, "you know... _you_ before. So... is what it is, right?"

"True," he said as he climbed the stairs to Santana's room. Once inside he sat down on her bed and stretched, "So. Cheerios uniform?"

"In the closet," Santana muttered, hauling her dress up and over her head before tossing it in the hamper and walking across the room to her closet nude to find something to wear. She riffled through things for a moment before coming across the dry cleaning bag. "Here we go." Tossing it over to the bed for Quinn, she bent over to search through the shelves in the closet for something for herself.

Quinn just smirked and watched, "You're really beautiful," he said as he began stripping. He took off his jeans and strap on and picked up the duffel bag the brought in from the car.

"Huh?" Santana glanced back over her shoulder then realized just how exposed she was making herself to Quinn, "Oh..." Shrugging, she smiled shyly and turned back to her task, picking a sports bra and a pair of high cut bikini briefs, to go under her tight tank top and yoga pants. "I... um... you like looking at me?" she whispered shyly as she turned back around.

"I've always liked looking at you, Santana," he said as he put the strap on on the bed and folded his jeans. He pulled off his shirt then wiggled out of his binder and folded them too. He pulled on a pair of boyshorts underwear and then his skirt.

She smiled and headed over to the bed, letting her fingers drift over his strap on. "Leave this here?" she asked softly. "I kinda like the idea of having the real you around me all the time," she teased, leaning in to kiss him, leaving her hands on his strap on almost absentmindedly and only touching him with her lips while he was partially dressed.

He moaned softly into her lips as he wrapped his arms around her. "I like that idea too," he smiled and nipped her lip as he pulled away from the kiss.

"You need to finish getting dressed or it'll be too hard for me to let you leave," Santana whispered, looking up at him with eyes hazed with want. "Here," she handed him one of her spare sports bras, "it might be a little tight, but I figured you'd appreciate the compression. Make you a little more... you and well, if you've gotta look like a girl, I kinda like the idea of you wearing something of mine." She offered a lopsided smile with a shrug as she spoke.

"Thanks," he said softly, as he pulled on the sports bra and then pulled the top on. He slumped in his posture, the confident air that surrounded him when he was in his male clothing vanishing. He looked in the mirror and pulled his hair into as much of a ponytail is it could go before turning to Santana. "Thank you for last night, it was lovely," he smiled as took her hand.

"Any time," Santana smirked, then pulled him in so she was pressed up against him, her fingers gripping his top as she leaned in and kissed him - a possessive kiss, hungry and wanting. "You're still a guy to me," she whispered, trying to give him that alluring confidence back, "no matter how you look or what you wear," she took one of his hands pressing it between her legs and whimpering softly, "I _know_ you're a guy. I'm gonna be feeling just how _much_ of a guy you are for days. So whenever you see me walking funny, Quinn, I want you to remember that you and that big cock are the reason, okay?" She licked her lips and smiled uncertainly up at him. "You're gonna be my boyfriend, right?"

"Yeah," he smiled, pressing their foreheads together. "I'm gonna be your boyfriend." He kissed her nose softly before hugging her. "I'm sorry this has to be a secret," he whispered. "I'm sorry I can't be better for you."

"Um, Quinn?" Santana raised a curious brow as she leaned against him, "You see how people treat Berry for having gay dads. Or Kurt, Blaine, or me for just being queer. I don't want you treated like any of that. It's safer for this to be a secret for now." She placed her hand over his heart and smiled at the feeling of it beating, "I don't want anyone treating you bad cause your asshole dad's swimmers were too stupid to give you the right body."

Quinn laughed softly as he hugged Santana. "Thanks, San," he smiled and pulled away, capturing her lips one last time before putting all of his clothing into the duffel bag. "I'll see you at school? Actually... Can I pick you up for school tomorrow?" he smiled hopefully.

"Save me from walking in the fucking cold?" Santana smirked, "Hell yeah you can! You know I can only borrow the Escalade on the weekends. Daddy said I could have a car or I could go to college and I'd rather get out of here." She smiled happily at the thought of getting out of Lima. "You're getting out too right? Maybe we'll get in the same school?"

"Yeah, if my academics are strong enough I'm hoping for a full ride for English or pre-law," He shrugged, "Alright, text me tonight, okay?" he asked as he headed down to his car.

"Definitely," Santana smiled softly, standing just inside the door and waving as she watched him head out to the car. It was strange thinking of Quinn as a guy, especially when she could see him looking very feminine like he was right then, but it was just as strange thinking she'd been fucked sore by the feminine girl he presented as a front. In the end, she decided to just not think about it and enjoy being wanted for once.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Despite the texts they'd exchanged before bed Sunday night, Santana had the whole night to wonder if maybe it was all just an elaborate prank meant to pay her back for some stupid incident when they were kids or something. That morning, she'd waited anxiously on the top step of the porch looking for Quinn's familiar little red car to come down the street, getting more and more worried each minute it didn't turn the corner. Finally her watch told her she'd have to get her ass in gear if she didn't want to get yelled at by Sue for being late to morning practice.

Sighing softly, her heart aching in her chest, she stood up and dusted off the seat of her skirt before settling her backpack on her shoulders. Hooking her thumbs into the straps, she'd started trudging down the street towards the school. She knew she'd probably end up having to all but sprint the last mile, but she didn't really feel like putting too much effort in right then.

Quinn pulled out of her car out of the coffee drivethru and turned onto Santana's road. She saw her girlfriend walking and pulled up next to her, "San? What the hell are you doing?" She called through the window. "I said I'd pick you up."

"Q-quinn?" Santana was already shivering from having to wear her cheerleading outfit for morning practice, but she still sounded surprised when she looked over and saw her boyfriend in his car. "You c-came? I had to get going c-cause I di-didn't want to be late. D-don't need Sue yelling at me th-this early."

"Get in the car," she said, leaning over to open the door for her. "I went to get you coffee and was delayed," she added, turning up the heat once Santana was inside.

Santana fumbled the seatbelt on and rubbed at her cold legs. "Fucking hate that Sue won't let us wear track-pants even when it's this damn cold out," she groused, brightening slightly as she realized that Quinn had gotten her coffee. "Oh my God, you're amazing," she groaned, picking up the cup and sipping it so the warmth could flow through her. Once she was a little warmer, she glanced over at Quinn. "I actually wasn't really sure you were coming," she admitted softly.

"I told you last night I'd be here at 6:15." Quinn's brow furrowed, "Its only 6:20, we have practice at 7:00.." She looked at the other girl confused, "Right? I told you I was coming," she continued driving down the dark road. "There's a bagel in there too for you," Quinn offered as she sipped her own coffee.

"No, I mean," she fiddled with the coffee cup in her hands, letting it warm her cold fingers a bit. "Ugh, I feel as stupid as Berry! I just... I thought maybe you'd changed your mind." She shrugged, looking out the window, "About wanting me and stuff. I mean other people have and it's not a big deal if you did..."

"San... You're anything but stupid so please don't say dumb things. Of course I'm not changing my mind. In the five hours since I last texted you I slept and God knows that doesn't change people's feelings," She joked. "I'm not gonna change my mind okay?" Quinn said as she put down her coffee cup and and put her hand on Santana's thigh.

Santana's smiles were rarely shy. Flirtatious. Devious. Occasionally manic. But rarely shy. Yet the one she flashed Quinn just then was definitely in that category. "Really? You're not just saying that right?" The shyness fell away, replaced with a more serious smirk and a teasing tone, "Because I will cut you if you're messing with me."

"Please with what you know about me I'd have to kill you to get rid of you," Quinn teased as she squeezed her hand. "Drink your coffee and I'm gonna drink mine. It's too early for your crazy."

Santana almost snorted the coffee was drinking through her nose but just barely managed to contain herself without making a mess. "Please. You didn't seem to have a problem getting with my crazy yesterday morning," she teased, "or the night before."

"I prefer your crazy naked, what can I say," Quinn smirked, pulling into the parking lot and grabbed the bag near the girl's feet. "Alright I have a bagel with cream cheese, bagel with egg and bacon or croissant with egg and bacon take your choice." Quinn held out the bag to Santana with a smile.

"Just the bagel with cream cheese. I won't come between you and bacon," Santana teased, fully aware she wouldn't eat anything until after morning practice because she didn't want to hurl during a throw.

"Alright, I'll give the other one to Sam once we get to class." She shrugged and wrapped the sandwiches up. She looked at the clock at they had 15 minutes before needing to head into school so she quickly leaned over and pressed a kiss to Santana's lips. "Morning."

"Not good enough," Santana whispered with a smirk, reaching over to cup the back of Quinn neck and pull him in for a real kiss, her tongue slipping out to swipe along his lips, stealing a taste of his coffee. "Mmm. That's better, don't you think?" She winked, pulling away slightly.

Quinn's eyes remained shut when she pulled away, "So much better." Quinn bit her lip before opening her eyes. "I like kissing you." She smiled as she took another sip of her coffee.

"Me too," Santana admitted with a tiny smile. "It's gonna royally suck not getting to kiss you whenever I want. _How_ever I want."

"I know..." Quinn sighed, "But like I guess it's like the secret makes it better and more fun because it's just for us," she offered up. "It's just for us now and that's okay."

"Mmm," Santana sipped at her coffee, looking out the window, "And maybe it'll be just for us when I pull you into a storage closet later cause I need to kiss you so bad... and if you wanted to maybe stick those fingers of yours in me and fuck me hard while you're kissing me, that'd be cool too."

"I thought you'd still be sore from yesterday." Quinn asked with a slight chuckle, "Here I was worried that you were going to need me to go easy on you at practice." The blonde said as she drank more of her coffee.

"A bit sore, but the best kind," Santana teased with a wink, "and sorry, but your fingers are less impressive than your cock, Q." She finished off her coffee and stuck the cup in the bag Quinn had hanging from the back of the passenger seat. "But don't worry, cap, I can take anything you can dish out."

"I will continue to test that theory," Quinn winked as she got out of the car and grabbed her backpack and gym bag. She pulled her sunglasses over her face and looked at her girlfriend and smiled, "Ready?"

Santana got out and stretched long, glancing over at her boyfriend with a smirk as the shell lifted, exposing her tight stomach and a faint reddish mark from where he'd kissed a little too hard yesterday morning. "As I'll ever be. Let's go kick some lazy cheerleader ass and show them what a real workout is."

Quinn laughed and headed to the field.

* * *

><p>Quinn plopped down next to Sam during Glee and took a drink of her Powerade. "Did you and Blaine have a nice weekend?" She asked as she watched Santana working at the piano with Blaine and Mercedes.<p>

"As good as yours?" He smirked, looking up to see the smile on her face and sliding an arm around her shoulders. "You look like someone doubled the sugar on your Cheerios this morning." He paused, "I totally didn't mean the cheerleaders."

"Mmm," she smiled with a slight blush. "After the game I headed home but I had breakfast with Kelly Saturday morning," she said as she watched Santana from across the room before looking back to her friend. "But, I went to the club that night and met up with San... She knows about me now."

"No shit, seriously?" He looked surprised and a bit worried, "Are you okay? Crap... she didn't like freak out or anything did she? Is she gonna tell?"

"I'm trying to not think about it," Quinn admitted honestly. "I know she's gay, and I'm really scared that she only wants to be with me now because she liked me prior and she's willing to put up with my... deformity." She sighed as she looked at him.

"Dude, being a guy ain't a deformity!" He looked slightly offended. "And she's been with Puck and stuff, right? Maybe she thinks you're like best of both worlds. Like a peanut butter cup!" He grinned, pleased with his analogy.

"Seriously?" She laughed, "Damn, fatty, is food all you think about?" She rolled her eyes and kicked her legs up on the empty chair in front of her. "I just like... I'm worried that she's gonna flip out on me... when she realizes that like this is legit and I'm not just playing or something." Quinn watched her for a moment with a soft smile, "But she says... she says things like I'm ﾑalways a guy' even when I'm dressed like this, so maybe she does understand."

Sam looked unsure but he shrugged, "Well, I hope she does. She's... Eh, I don't know. You've known her way longer than me. All I can tell you is she's a _really_ good kisser. Like _really_ good."

"Oh, trust me," she smirked, "I know." Santana walked across the room with a bit of a limp as she spoke softly to Brittany who was pouting at the darker girl. "See that little limp she's got going on?" Quinn smirked as she looked at her girlfriend then her pseudo-boyfriend. "I'll give you three guesses to the cause."

He frowned as he watched Santana move around the room then his eyes widened. "No way! You did Satan? Holy shit, Q!" Suddenly he was pouting, "Hey, wait a second. She wouldn't let me do her and we dated for like two weeks..."

"My dick's bigger than yours," Quinn said with a shrug as she gently hit him with her elbow. "You know that she's always been the one I liked, but like I thought she didn't like dudes and I didn't wanna be labled as a lesbian." She shrugged, "But you know, I think that all of our fighting has to go somewhere and if that's in the fucking?" She smiled brightly. "All's good."

"San's right," he muttered, "you are _such_ a dude even like this. But if you two are like hooking up now, don't that mean you're gonna stop fighting and stuff?"

"Nah," She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, "We've been fighting since we met when I first moved here when we were twelve." Quinn frowned as she saw Santana's face scrunch up in confusion when Brittany spoke. "I wonder what's going on there."

* * *

><p>"Britt, you're with Artie. You dumped me, remember? <em>Again<em>." Santana shook her head. "Where is this even coming from? So what if I've been hanging out with Quinn. She's my friend."

"Yeah, but you're supposed to hang out with me," Brittany pouted. "I miss you, Sanny. You won't double date with me and Artie and we don't hang out any more..."

"Brittany," Santana rubbed at her temples, "you were fucking him while we were supposed to be dating. You kept blowing me off to go over to his house to _ride on his wheelchair_ and don't think I don't know there wasn't a lot of clothes involved."

"But you said it's not cheating if..."

"Look, I know what I said, Britt, and I was wrong to say that. It is cheating and we're done. I'm not doing this again. I can't."

"But, San." Brittany pouted as she looked at her friend with puppy dog eyes. "It's not fair you hang out with Quinn and go places without me. I called your cellphone yesterday and you ignored it."

"I already told you the battery died, Britt. And you know you were busy with Artie anyway." Santana was getting frustrated. She didn't want to be having this conversation, but Brittany was insisting.

Quinn had seen the frustration on Santana's face and she quickly moved down to join the other Cheerios. "Hey, guys," she smiled as she slid into the conversation, "what's up?"

"Oh... Hi Quinn..." Brittany said as she glared at the floor, "Sanny and I were talking."

"Oh cool," Quinn nodded, "I was actually seeing if I could borrow San to work on our song." she looked at Santana and raised her eyebrow to indicate she was giving her a way out.

Santana smiled gratefully at her boyfriend for an instant before Brittany looked back up. "Sorry, Britt. You know I gotta get this right or Schue's gonna bitch. We'll hang out later, okay?"

Quinn took Santana's arm and took her out into the hall and led her down the hall and pulled her into the janitor's closet. "You okay, baby?" she asked softly as she looked at her girlfriend.

Santana leaned against the door with a tired sigh, locking it before looking up at Quinn with a smile. "Yeah. I just," she shook her head with a shrug. "Brittany's being frustrating. I don't know if she wants me to just hang around like some kind of convenient fucktoy when she's not getting it good enough from the Amazing Cripple Boy or what, but... I'm done. She can't treat me like that and expect me to stay. Not," she took a breath, "not when I've got someone who actually wants _me_, right?"

"I'm sorry she's such a bitch," Quinn said as she pulled the girl into a hug. "She fucked up and doesn't realize how big a mistake she made by hurting you."

"Or you," Santana muttered, wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist and letting herself relax in her boyfriend's arms. "Thanks," she finally whispered into Quinn's neck, "I really needed this."

"I don't like seeing you upset," she whispered as she kissed Santana's head. "I like seeing you happy and if a simple hug makes you happy? I'm more than willing to hug you, that's what boyfriends are for right?" She smiled and pressed a the girl's neck.

"Yeah," Santana smiled, nuzzling at Quinn's neck. "This having a boyfriend stuff is pretty awesome, actually." She leaned up and nipped at Quinn's ear. "Kinda wish you were all here right now," she whispered, letting her hand rest on Quinn's chest over her heart.

"I mean... yeah me too," Quinn said softly. "I could always use other things in you are dying of need," she said softly. "Or I could just hold you for awhile... whatever you'd like."

"I'm not _dying_ of need," Santana rolled her eyes, "I just... I like feeling close to you. And when we're together like that we can't really get much closer, you know?" She shrugged, "Whatever. That sounds stupid and sappy..."

"I know, babe," Quinn chuckled as she pulled Santana into a kiss. "I just don't wanna get caught since the bell's gonna ring in like five minutes." She sighed and pulled her into a deep kiss. She was trying to convey how much Santana meant to her in that kiss.

Santana moaned softly into the kiss. She didn't know what it was - maybe the softness of Quinn's lips or the way he held her against him and took possession of her mouth as if she belonged to him - but she kind of loved it when Quinn kissed her. It made her feel warm and tingly all the way to her toes. When she finally pulled away she blinked dazedly up at her lover. "I know some places we wouldn't get caught," she suggested with a lustful smile as her eyes stayed hooked on Quinn's lips.

"San," Quinn whispered with a faint smile, "I want you for more than your sexy body." She ran her fingers through Santana's ponytail. "I just wanna hold you for a little bit," she said as she held Santana closer. "I just really like holding you."

Santana sighed contentedly and rested her head on Quinn's shoulder, letting go of the lust. "Please," she whispered, "it's nice."

Quinn wrapped her arms around Santana's shoulders and held her tightly. "So beautiful and you smell so good," Quinn whispered and fell into a comfortable silence.

Outside the closet door, Brittany stood slack jawed. She was in shock, Quinn _wasn't a guy_ so why was Santana calling her her _boyfriend_? She was more annoyed that Santana turned her down for _Quinn_. She might not be the smartest tool in the shed, but she didn't like coming in second or losing things that belonged to her. Especially not to people like Quinn. She glared at the door one more time before running off down the hall.

* * *

><p>Kelly looked up from her macroeconomics textbook and smiled at the sound of the bell over the door ringing. "Hi, can I help... you," some of the brightness fell from her smile when she recognized the blond young man coming in. "Quinn? I haven't heard from you in a couple of weeks." Not since their breakfast almost-date in fact, though she had a pretty good idea why. "Is everything okay?"<p>

Quinn scuffed his shoes on the floor. "Hey," he said softly as he walked over to the counter and with a book in her hands. "I brought you this, you said you needed a good book and you hadn't read this yet." He slid the paperback of Chuck Palahniuk's _Survivor_ across the counter to her. "Sorry, I haven't called you," he looked down regretfully. "It's shitty of me."

"It is what it is. You young guys get all caught up in new things and forget about the old ones," she teased, watching him with a sad little smile. "Thanks for the book. I'll try and get it back to you soon."

Quinn came over and hopped up on the counter, watching her, "Kel," he said softly. "You know, don't you?" He asked as he looked up to meet her eyes with a guilty expression.

"That you found someone to be with?" She smiled slightly sadly and glanced down to turn a page in her book. "I've got a pretty good idea."

"You told me we couldn't be together," Quinn admitted as he looked at Kelly. "You know what I wanted, you know I wanted to try with you," he whispered. "But I also know you didn't want to be my girlfriend." He cupped her cheek, asking her to look at him.

"Quinn," Kelly breathed softly, sighing as she raised her eyes to meet his. She covered his hand with her own and looked at him for a moment. "I know what you wanted and I know what I am. Part of me wishes that I could have had more time with you but the bigger part knows this would have happened eventually. I got to have a night with you. You made me forget for a little while. Made me feel special for a night. That's enough for me."

"You're still special to me, Kelly," he smiled. "You were one of the first people who saw me as I am." He smoothed his thumb over her cheek bone. "I think you are so amazing and lovely and honestly loving." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "And I'm sorry we didn't get more time together as lovers, but I think I would have fallen in love with you if we had. We both know that and we both know we wouldn't end well."

"Please don't tell me that," Kelly whispered, looking back down at her book. "Don't tell me about what could have been. Could have beens hurt too much and I don't want to think about them. Just...no," she shook her head. "What happened was going to happen one way or the other. After all, nice girls don't make out with someone they just met at a sex shop or in the back of a car on the second meeting. They certainly don't fuck by the third...it wasn't even a date. Please don't talk about what might or could have been, Quinn."

"Kel... I'm so sorry," he whispered, pulling his hand away. "I'm really bad at this... I'm saying all the wrong things." He blinked away tears, "I never wanted to hurt you."

"Yeah, well, you're young, it was going to happen," she sighed, putting her books up. "I set myself up for this by getting involved with you. It's not your fault, Quinn. I...hope everything works out between you and," she hesitated slightly, Santana's name hovering on the tip of her tongue, "whoever it is you're with."

"You... you're still my friend right?" He asked softly, scared to hear her tell him no. "I understand if you're not... I led you on and I hurt you. I guess I just filled my weekly jackass male requirements."

"You didn't lead me on. I just," she sighed, offering a brave smile, "wasn't really expecting to get dumped by everyone this week. Kinda hurts a girl's ego, you know? Of course I'm still your friend if you want me to be. Didn't really sound like you did, but I told you at the beginning I wanted to be friends even after what we were doing was done."

"I don't think I even want to consider what life would be like without you as a friend." Quinn said, "I wanna have breakfast with you and go to bookstores and hang out in this dingy fucking store." He smiled as he looked at her, "I think that... wait? Santana broke things off with you?" He said almost shocked, "I'm... I'm sorry, Kelly. I didn't mean for this to happen, okay. I never thought that she'd be okay with me how I am. But... she seems to be and I owe it to us... to give it a chance."

"So you are with her," Kelly murmured, nodding wistfully. "That...figures. And if she's with you, then why wouldn't she end things with me?" She offered a tiny smile, "Why settle for a fuckbuddy when you can have the real thing, huh? Sometimes I just wish... No. There's no point in going there," she shook her head. "Be careful with her, Quinn. Both for you and for her. I don't want either of you to get hurt."

"Yeah," he sighed, looking down at his hands. "I don't know. I know I care about her and I care about you and it's scary to think that I'm losing out on anything that could happen with us because I'm with her..." He groaned, "I'm just kinda scared that... I'm scared that she's gonna hurt me." He looked away at the first time he was speaking the words that had been plaguing his brain. "She's gay and I'm not a girl."

"I know. I hope neither of you hurt each other, but that's always a possibility in a relationship." She reached over and squeezed his knee. "It's part of life and growing up to get hurt by the people you care about."

"Maybe," he said softly. "I'm just like freaked out that I'm gonna lose everything if people find out before I move out of my dad's house," he said almost in fear. He knew he'd be in serious trouble if his father found out about him or the fact he was not only a boy but dating Santana, who wasn't just a woman but a Latina as well. Two strikes against him in his father's book and Russell had never even needed even one to hate someone.

"If it helps, you can come to my place," Kelly offered. "I know it's not big but my couch is super comfy and it'd give you a couple days at least to figure out your next move."

"We'll see if he figures it out." He shrugged, "Oh shit, I forgot I brought you dinner." He said as he grabbed a Subway bag out of his tote. "It's turkey." He smiled, "I know you don't get out til late."

"Quinn..." She took the Subway bag like it was the best gift she'd received in a while. "I don't get you. You have to break up with a girl before you buy her dinner?" For a second she was afraid she was going to cry, knowing she'd done everything with them ass backwards, but she ended up laughing instead.

"Man lesson number 142," Quinn laughed as he looked at her with a smile. "I'll keep it in the book of things to learn." He smiled as he took a sip of the water bottle he brought for himself. "You're my friend. I can feed friends if I want."

"No," she shook her head reaching up to hug him, "don't learn it. Stay just who you are. You're perfect the way you are..."

He hugged her back with a soft smile, "I'm really glad we're friends."

"Me too," she whispered, ignoring the twinge in her chest that wished they could have been more than that.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Brittany was beyond simply jealous.

She was _angry_. Santana was _hers_, not Quinn's. _She_ was the one that put up with the girl's sometimes violent mood swings. She was the one who got her to admit she loved her. _Love_! Santana told her she _loved_ her! At school! In front of like _people_! That was important, right?

She'd always known that Santana would do as she asked. Ever since they were little girls together, Santana had smiled just for her and it just was the best thing ever. All she ever had to do was smile and kiss her friend and everything was perfect because Santana would do what she wanted her to.

When Quinn moved to town, Brittany hadn't been too concerned. Sure Santana watched her and insisted they hang out together, but so had she. Quinn was pretty and nice. Most of the time and the rest of the time, it was funny so who cared?

Then they were fifteen together and when she'd wanted to experiment, Quinn had turned her down but Santana had agreed. Like she always did. Like she was _supposed_ to. Because she was Brittany's. And all it took was a smile and a kiss. And then another kiss.

The sweet lady kisses had been the best part about being with Santana. Until Santana made a mistake. Sure, Brittany made mistakes. All of the time. But she didn't make mistakes during sweet lady kisses. She didn't call out for _Quinn_ while Santana was giving her special kisses.

It made Brittany mad.

So she made Quinn pay for trying to tempt her Santana away.

She knew how important the other girl's reputation was to her. How important it was for her to be seen as the pretty and pure virgin girl. So Brittany had taken the photos she'd taken of Quinn in fun at their last cheer competition when the other girl had gotten mad and pinned a girl from another team to the wall to yell at her and she posted them around the school after sliding a sheet of looseleaf with a story about Quinn and the girl hooking up with their own sweet lady kisses into Jacob's locker.

It hadn't taken long before the entire school thought Quinn was gay. Even her boyfriend Finn had broken up with her over it. And Santana stopped calling Quinn's name when Brittany gave her special kisses so Brittany was happy again.

But over the summer Santana decided to get the cute duckie birthmark on her right boob removed. Brittany _liked_ that birthmark. She hadn't really _meant_ for Santana to get demoted when she'd cried about it to Sue, but she'd liked that she'd been punished even if everyone did think her tits were fake after that. That was _her_ special duckie and Santana shouldn't have just gotten it removed.

Then Santana had been mean and she'd picked Artie to make her jealous. But Artie was like a broken baby bird and she needed to take care of him, so he had to be hers too. It wasn't her fault Santana couldn't understand that. But that didn't mean Santana wasn't still hers. Just that Artie was too.

She thought she'd gotten that when they'd started dating. That she understood she was Brittany's and no one else's. But Artie was still hers too and she liked going over and riding on his chair. Sex was magic and it made him better so it stood to reason that the more sex she had with him, the more better he'd get until he finally got to walk. But Santana didn't understand and she'd gotten upset and said the Brittany had picked Artie over her again.

It really had made her upset when Santana stopped hanging out with her in favor of Quinn. But nothing had made her as jealous and angry as standing outside the closet she'd seen them disappear into and hear them talking to each other and calling Quinn Santana's boyfriend. It made her furious to think that Santana wanted to be with _Quinn_ still and that Quinn thought she could be a _guy_ so that Santana didn't have to like girls anymore.

She wanted to _punish_ Quinn. To finally knock her down off of her tower and put her in her place. She wanted Santana _back_.

So she found herself in the tree outside Santana's window one night. She was grateful for the ninja lessons she'd gotten from Mike because she was pretty sure no one heard her climb the tree and dressed all in black like she was, she was pretty sure no one could see her. She wanted to talk to Santana, maybe get her to realize that sweet lady kisses with her were the best. But if she couldn't, she wasn't above taking pictures.

She never expected to see what she did.

* * *

><p>Quinn came out from Santana's bathroom dressed in loose fitting men's sleep pants and a white v-neck shirt that hugged his chest. He had his binder on so his contours looked inherently male. He had his hair back in a low ponytail and the top of his boxer briefs could be seen over top of his pants. He stretched and walked over to Santana who was typing on her computer, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.<p>

"Baby, stop typing and pay attention to me." He said softly as he nibbled on her ear.

Santana smiled and tilted her head slightly, but kept typing. "You know we gotta get this shit done before class tomorrow. You're lucky I'm willing to type it up for you and can I just say your conjugations seriously need work." She knew she was teasing her lover, but she liked the way he growled possessively in her ear when she refused him, making her feel even more wanted. "What did you need, anyway?"

"I want you naked," he said simply as he ran his hand down the front of her shirt and to her breast. He massaged it gently, rolling her nipple between his fingers. "I want you on your back, or knees... your choice but I wanna fuck you again."

Santana's eyes closed and she leaned back slightly, but her hands stayed on the keyboard. "When don't you want to fuck me?" she teased. "I know your dick wants this sexy as hell body like all the time, but shouldn't your education come first?"

"I have a A in that class, I'm not worried," he said as he rolled her nipple. "Baby... I wanna get my dick wet. I already fucked you until you passed out when we got home, but I wanna do it again," he begged as he kissed her neck. "I'm so hard for you."

"And that's why you're kinda of the perfect boyfriend," Santana murmured, leaning back to kiss him, "you're always hard." She reached back and ran her hand over the bulge in his pants with a smirk. "Only guy I've ever met who can keep up with me."

Quinn kissed her, his lips possessing her mouth and demanding her attention. He twisted her nipple until she gasped into his mouth. "Do you want my dick, Santana?" He whispered against her lips.

"Yes," she murmured, slipping her hand into his pants and stroking his cock, "I want to wrap my lips around your head and suck you off before you take me." She pushed his cock into his body, "Would you like that?"

He grunted, "Yes." He said as he moved his hand into her hair. "Get on your knees, please." He whispered before pressing a kiss to her lips to let her know he was playing how demanding he was being.

Santana laughed, "Saying please kinda kills the dominance act." But she slid out of her desk chair to her knees in front of Quinn, reaching up to undo the buttons of his fly so she could free his dick from his pants. "Sure you can stay standing? These lips could be considered lethal weapons."

"I can stand," he said as he moved to tangle his fingers in her hair. "You are so stunning," he whispered as he put his hand on his dick. "Do you want this?" He asked, as he ran his hand up and down his shaft.

"Yes," she whispered with a little smirk as she reached up to slide her fingers over him. Rising up on her knees slightly, she met his eyes and placed a kiss to the tip of his member. "How much do you want me to suck you, Quinn?"

"So bad," he whispered as he watched his lover. "I love when you touch me." He cupped her chin and ran his dick against her lips. "I want you to suck me and _show_ me how much you want me to fuck you when you're done."

She reached out and ran her tongue up his shaft from the base to the tip before taking him between her lips and sucking on the head, her cheeks hollowing as she sucked. She kept her eyes locked with his as she sucked him for a moment. When she pulled away, a string of saliva connected them for a moment. "Tell me how to show you. Should I strip and spread my legs on the bed so you can see?" She licked him again before swirling her tongue around the bulbous head of his shaft, "Should I fuck myself and show you how wet I get?"

"I want you to finger yourself," he said as he guided her head back to his dick. "Get yourself ready for me."

"Mmm, I can do that," Santana chuckled, taking him into her mouth and sliding up and down on his shaft. She never took him too deep - the taste of his member really wasn't appealing to her and her gag reflex was a bit stronger than most girls - but she worked him, pumping the bit of shaft she didn't suck with her hand as she watched him.

He whimpered and watched her, wishing that he could feel her, but fine with the image in his mind. He watched as she slid her own hand into her pajama pants and started to rub herself. "You are so perfect," he said softly, before pulling his dick out of her mouth with a pop. He sank down to his knees and kissed her pouty lips. He was slightly grossed out by the vague taste of plastic. "I'm sorry it doesn't taste good," he whispered against her lips.

"It's okay," she smiled, pulling her fingers out of herself and letting him lick them clean before pulling her shirt off over her head and shimmying her pants down until she was naked. "It's not like I can really taste you, so it's fine." She stood and made her way to the bed, spreading her legs and playing with her breasts for a moment before sliding a hand down and two fingers into her dripping core with a groan, pumping until slick, wet sounds could be heard. "Didn't you say something about wanting to fuck me again? Or should I do it all myself?"

He pulled off his pants and boxers and sat at the foot of the bed. "Watching is pretty sexy," he replied as he nipped her thigh. "I think I want you on top of me, do you wanna be on top?" He said, looking at her from between her legs.

"I do like being the one on top," Santana teased, smirking down at him as she kept fucking herself, her free hand twisting a nipple almost painfully hard as she panted, working herself higher and higher. "How do you want me? Riding your dick or your face?"

"Whatever you'd prefer," he said as he replaced her hand on her breast with his mouth.

She gasped and arched into his mouth, "Y-you're gonna make it hard for me to be on top if you keep doing that." She had to pull her hand away from her core to keep herself from coming, breathing harshly before grabbing one of his hands and pressing it into her dripping core, "F-finish me like this and I'll ride your dick."

He nodded and slid two fingers inside his lover. He watched her face for instructions on how he was doing. He brought his lips back down to her breast, suckling as he kept a steady pace with his hands.

"Oh _fuck_," she hissed, bucking into his hand. Ever since that first encounter at the club where he'd jammed into her with two fingers before she knew what was happening, she'd want those slender digits to fuck her. Between his fingers fucking her and his lips sucking off her tit she had no chance at holding onto her orgasm. "_Quinn_!" His name burst from her lips in a strangled whisper as she fell into her orgasm, bucking against him, her walls clenching hard around his fingers as if trying to milk every last drop of imaginary seed from them.

He smiled and slid up next to her. "So beautiful," he whispered, his ear resting over her heart so he could listen to its quick beat. "I like that. Being able to feel you."

"Me too," she murmured, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and cuddling as her body tried to come to grips with the force of the climax he just gave her. "Don't be mad, but... your fingers are better than your cock sometimes. They're not as big and I don't stretch as much, but they're... you. You know? They're _really_ you. You can feel me..."

"I know," Quinn said softly as he listened to her heart. "I'll use them more if you want... I don't wanna make you unhappy because I wanna use something that's not really mine you know?"

"But I'm not unhappy," Santana tried to explain, "I really enjoy being with you like that. Because...it's you and maybe Britt can be kinda nuts sometimes, but I guess she was right that it's better with feelings. I just," she blushed slightly, glancing away, "I wish it... tasted like you. It wouldn't be so weird if it did."

"That'd be cool." He smiled, "Maybe... when I get more comfortable... I can put some of the wetness that happens on it?" He suggested, "If you want I could do that." He pulled the blanket around their bodies and snuggled into her. "It's really better with feelings."

"Wetness...?" San's brows furrowed for a moment before she figured out what he had to be referring to and smiled with uncertain happiness, "I get you," she shook her head, clearing her thoughts and trying a different tack, "I turn you on?"

"Of course you turn me on." Quinn said with a confused smile. "You turn me on so much, I just... that's a part of me I don't like and I don't know what to do with it so I just ignore it." He shrugged, "But trust me. Really turned on."

"I didn't know," Santana whispered almost shyly, looking down at where her hand was playing with the blanket over his hip. "I just... I can't tell, you know? And it's so weird that I can't tell because that was one thing I thought I was good at that wasn't cheerleading or singing or just being a badass. But... knowing who I turned on."

"I think me coming up behind you and telling you I wanna fuck you makes it pretty obvious." He smiled as he pressed a kiss to the corner of Santana's mouth. "But, maybe we could figure out a way okay? If I take off the binder maybe... or I don't know."

Santana rolled her eyes. "I've had Karofsky come up behind me and tell me he wants to fuck me, Quinn. And he's queerer than a three dollar bill if you hadn't got the memo." She shrugged, cuddling into him. "I don't know. I don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything." _I don't want you to stop wanting me_ remained unsaid.

"Really? Dave's gay?" Quinn asked, "Wow, is everyone at our school kinda queer? You, Brittany, Sam, Blaine, Kurt, Dave... I'm a girl whose a dude." He laughed softly, "Crazy."

"Sam?" Santana's eye twitched slightly. "You're kidding right? Dude, I made out with a gay man? Oh geez. I thought... am I _that_ bad at telling when someone's into me?"

"He's bi," Quinn said. "He's been helping me with all of this." he motioned to his body, "Understanding, coming to terms...manning me up." He laughed, "Blaine too... You can't tell anyone but they've been seeing each other for nearly a year. That's why he and I date in public so he can keep his rep, I can keep mine and we protect each other."

"Well, I kinda figured he was like your big not-so-gay beard with the whole you're a guy thing, but I didn't realize he brought his own helping of gay." Santana laughed softly, "Damn, Glee's more incestuous than I thought. But wait, what about Mercedes and him? Didn't they..." she trailed off making an odd gesture with her hand.

"I mean yeah," Quinn nodded, running her fingers over the girl's skin. "But he really loves Blaine... and Blaine can't be with him openly because of Kurt and his annoyingness. Imagine if Mercedes and Kurt find out, woman, shit would hit the fan." He laughed softly, "But yeah. It's a bit screwed up but we're not the only secret relationship going on."

"Okay," Santana nodded, then bit her lip, "Do they like... know? About... us? I mean, that we're together and stuff? They're cool with it, right? I mean, they're your friends and this feels totally stupid and sappy but I don't want them to be not cool..."

"I mean... Sam loves you, you know that." He smiled and kissed her, "He thinks your great and he likes knowing he dated both of us which keeps him occupied." He ran his hand over to her stomach. "Blaine is cautious... he's very scared of me getting hurt and he honestly doesn't know you. We should change that, okay?"

"Change it?" Santana looked equal parts nervous and worried, "Change how? I can't go being super buddies at school, it's just... not my style."

"I mean don't change anything about you because I like you the way you are," He said softly, "but maybe we could all chill sometime? like I don't know... just hang out." He shrugged, "But if you don't want to it's cool too."

Santana thought about it for a moment, worrying at her lip. "Okay," she finally agreed, "We can try but if it gets weird, I'm bailing."

* * *

><p>Outside, Brittany had seen enough. Or maybe far too much. She wiped the tears trickling down her cheeks away and stuffed the disposable camera back into her fanny pack before climbing down the tree.<p>

Santana ruined everything. No. Quinn had by corrupting her Santana.

And she had to be _punished_.

* * *

><p>A week later, Brittany picked up her film from the drugstore buying a card, a sharpie, and a big manila mailing envelope along with the pictures. It cost her lunch money for the week, but it was worth it. Carefully writing <em>Russel Fabray<em> in block print - and unintentionally misspelling his first name the way she always did by leaving off the second "L" - with the sharpie on the envelope, she slid the photos inside along with blue card with the awesome stork on it.

After sealing it up, she rode her bike over to the Fabray's house getting there just before the time she'd noticed Russell coming home for the last week and sliding the envelope into the mailbox for him to get with everything else. Riding away as she heard the distinctive sound of his diesel SUV coming around the turn, she waved at him as he passed with a friendly smile. She'd always liked how nice and friendly he was and never had understood why Santana was always unhappy with him.

Pausing at the corner, she smiled cheerfully as she saw him pull the envelope out of the mailbox before heading inside.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Russell settled into his office chair, tossing the mail onto his desk and taking off his tie and jacket before getting to it. The envelope looked odd so he set it aside and sorted through the rest of the mail first. Two bills were tossed into his inbox but most of the rest was junk mail and tossed in the trash. Finally, he turned back to the envelope with his misspelt name.

Carefully opening it, he reached inside an pulled out a card. Bright blue with a ridiculous looking cartoon stork carrying a bundle with a baby poking out. Bright white letters proclaimed _IT'S A BOY!_. Confused, he flipped it open but it wasn't signed and all it said inside was _Congratulations on your new son!_.

Tossing it in the trash, he reached in again and pulled out a stack of photos. Frowning in confusion, he flipped through the first couple, sneering at the little Latina whore his daughter used to hang around before he set her straight. Then a young man came in obviously dressed for bed. He didn't even know what he was supposed to be looking at until he got a clear shot of the man's face.

Lucy.

His _daughter_.

"What the fuck is this?" he muttered, flipping through the pictures, his face getting darker and darker as his rage grew with each progressively more explicit photo of his baby girl dressed as a _man_ getting his _penis_ sucked off by the Latina slut and then fucking her naked Spic body with his fingers. "What the _fuck_ is this?"

He heard the distinct sound of the front door opening and closing and the soft voice of his daughter calling out that she was home. "Lucy! Come here! I need to talk to you!" He yelled, glaring at the photo crumpling in his hand of his precious baby girl with her breasts tied down and her hand fisted in the filthy whore's hair as she got a fucking _blowjob_.

Quinn cowered when she heard her fathers voice. She looked up at her mother who had come to greet her. Judy's eyes had already clouded over with a gin haze. "M-mom?" She whispered looking up and trying to figure out what was happening.

"Just go see your father, Quinnie," Judy said softly. "He must have had a bad day," she assured her child with a fake smile. Quinn nodded slowly and turned away, heading into the back office. Her Cheerios skirt swished as she walked down the hall, her backpack over one shoulder and her white sock covered feet gliding over hardwood.

"Yeah, daddy?" Quinn said softly as she hovered in the entrance of the office. She took stock of the room reflexively, seeing a large envelope on his desk and something in his hands. "I'm sorry I was late I had Cheerios..."

"Oh, I just _bet_ you did, you disgusting freak," he growled, slamming the photos down so hard they scattered across his desk, fluttering almost angrily to the floor. "No, I think you were off pretending to be a fucking _boy_ with that goddamn wetback _whore_! Do you have _any_ idea what your disgusting perversion is doing to this family?"

"W-what?" Quinn squeaked as she looked at her father. Her eyes caught a glimpse of the pictures and she felt like she had been shot. "Oh... god. Daddy... no... I..." She said as she looked to the floor.

"Don't _lie_ to me," he growled, low and threatening as he thrust himself back from his desk and got up, stalking around it towards her. "You think you can lie your way out of this? There are _photos_, you... you... _thing_! Your sick deviancy is a _disgrace_." He looked absolutely disgusted as he looked her over, "You're a goddamn _abomination_!"

The words _always be a man_ rang through her ears, Quinn lifted her head up and looked at him. "Daddy, I wasn't pretending," her voice shook, "I...I don't feel like... like a girl. I never have." She wasn't sure she was speaking over a whisper but the words came out of her lips.

Russell's eyes widened in rage and his hand ripped across Quinn's face with a thunderous crack before he even realized what he was doing. "Sick disgusting _freak_!" He grabbed her uniform top before she could stumble back out of his reach, "Say it again!" His saliva spattered her face as he yelled, "Say it again and you will _never_ be my daughter again!"

Her ears rang when his hand struck her face. She could feel the blood coming out of her nose when she turned her head to look back at him. "My name... My name is Quinn and I'm a guy." Quinn stammered and stood up on his own legs and looked his father in his eyes. "I'm Quinn."

The impact of his fist driving into his stomach nearly lifted him off his feet. "You want to be a _man_?" Russell's voice was soft and threatening in Quinn's ear, "I'll fucking _teach_ you what it is to be a man, _Quinn_. First, men don't," Russell's fingers dug into the waistband of his Cheerios skirt, ripping at it so hard it dug painfully into his waist until the heavy-duty fasteners finally gave and the fabric ripped, "wear," he next went for his top, nearly choking Quinn as he tore at the fabric and zipper before he got it off, "women's fucking _clothes_!"

Quinn crumpled to the floor, looking up at his father in just black and white boy cut underwear and no bra. "Daddy, don't... I'll leave, just stop," He begged, his thin body shaking with fear. Sure Russell had hit him and her sister before, sure he had helped Judy hide a black eye once in awhile but he had never seem his father like this. "Please..."

"Don't call me that, you little freak," Russell sneered down at him, "I don't have any children named _Quinn_. Look at you. All soft and _feminine_." He growled low in his throat reaching back to his desk where his fingers closed around his letter opener. "But don't worry, _Quinn_," for a moment he sounded almost soothing as he walked around Quinn, but then he straddled his back and shoved him roughly into the floor and taking a heavy hank of hair in one hand and sawing at it with the letter opener as he kept weight and pressure on Quinn's upper back to force his face into the floor. "I can fix _that_!"

The moment he was pushed into the cold floor, Quinn started fighting. He pushed his arms up under him and tried to push his father off his back. His legs kicked, his flexibility helping him to land a kick to his father's back, but it only seem to enrage him more.

Russell got a grip on some of Quinn's remaining hair and slammed his head against the floor with a sick crack as his nose broke. "You can't fight me, you weak little shit! You can't fight a man of God and win!" Yanking Quinn's head up again, he looked into dazed hazel eyes and spat in his face. "You're not a man, _Quinn_. You're just a weak little _girl_."

Quinn's eyes focused and he spat a mouthful of blood onto Russell's face. "Real men don't hurt people," he mumbled through the swelling and blood pooling in his mouth. "I'm more of a man than _you_."

When the blood hit his face, Russell all but threw Quinn away from him, stumbling for his desk to wipe it off. "You will _never_ be a man," he growled, picking the letter opener back up. "I will _not_ allow you to disgrace the family name like that."

Quinn's body hit the wall with a painful crack, but he scrambled to get to his feet, his ankle rolling in the process and causing him to fall again. "Just let me _leave_! I'll never come back, I'll change my name!" Quinn yelled as much as he could as he came closer.

"Leave? Like _that_?" Russell advanced towards him with a sneer, holding the letter opener in front of him. "When you still look like my _daughter_!" he roared, slashing across Quinn's chest with the sharpened steel, opening up the skin along the upper swell of his chest, the weight of even Quinn's minimal breasts dragging the wound painfully open.

A scream fell from Quinn's lips as his hands moved to his chest to hold onto his chest. "Stop!" He screamed, his voice shrill and girlish, "MOM!" His voice called out in terror, "Help!"

In the kitchen, Judy clutched the phone and inched down the hall, trembling with fear. The terror of hearing that tone in Russell's voice burning the haze of alcohol away, she had to force herself into the hall for her baby. The last time she heard that tone was when she'd tried to break up with him after finding out she was pregnant with Frannie. He'd beaten her unconscious and she was terrified that he'd do far worse to Quinn.

"She can't help you!" Russell roared, making another cut to his breasts. "Be a _man_!" He mocked, swinging the letter opener to tear at his child's body again. "Stop fucking crying and be a goddamn _man_ like you want!"

The steel ripped across his upper thighs, slashing them open.

Quinn heard footsteps through the pounding of blood and pain through his brain. His blunt nails tore into the floor and he tried to limp towards to door. "Mom!" He screamed in pain, his hand almost touching the door frame as his chest and thighs spewed blood onto the floor. He was starting to get light headed with the amount of blood coming from his wounds but he knew he'd be safe if he found his mom. At least he hoped he would.

"Where are you going?" Russell roared kicking him hard enough in the torso that his body lifted off the floor accompanied by the sickening crack of ribs breaking.

"Russell, stop!" Judy called desperately, trembling in the doorway, unable to tear her eyes from her child's broken and bloody body. Her voice shook, but she forced herself to keep talking for Quinn, "You'll kill her!"

"_It_," Russell growled, turning his livid gaze on his wife. "I'm ridding the world of an abomination against God."

"B-but everyone will know," she stammered out, visibly shaking, "people will talk and...and the church..."

Russell sneered and lashed another vicious kick into Quinn's body. "Fine," his voice was still laced with rage, "but I never want to see this filth dirtying my house again. Get it out of here before I bury it in the backyard." He stalked towards his desk, deliberately not watching has his wife tried to help the remains of what had been his daughter up off the floor and out of the room.

Quinn had curled into a ball on the floor, his flesh gaping with four slashes across his breasts, his nose was badly broken, his knee twisted awkwardly with the force of the last blow to Quinn's body. His eyes were black and swollen, his body lay limp on the floor covered in his own blood. He reached out for his mom when she knelt down next to him. "Mom..." he whimpered as he opened his eyes and tried to focus on her.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, getting her arms around him and doing her best to lift and support him to the bathroom so she could bandage the worst cuts. "I have to make you leave, you know that, right? I wish I didn't have to, but you can't stay here. I'm so sorry I didn't protect you, sweetie..."

"Mommy," he whimpered as he leaned against her, his tears falling freely, "it hurts. It hurts... Mommy, come with me," he pleaded as he clutched onto her blouse. "Please... please I'll protect you."

"I know you would, sweetie," Judy whispered, her heart breaking for her child, "you always have. But this time I have to protect my baby. I've let you down so many times, but I'm going to protect you this time. I won't let him hurt you any more." She reached into the closet and pulled out an old pair of pants and a button up shirt from the laundry bin. "It's not much...but I won't let my...my son out in the cold without clothes even if that man tries to make me."

He was limp against her as she put close on his bloodied frame. "I'm sorry, mom," he whimpered as he clung onto her body as she carried him from the bathroom. "I love you," he mumbled into her neck.

"I love you too," she whispered, cuddling her child protectively for the first and last time as she made her way out to the front door. When they got there, she carefully set him on his feet and pulled a coat down from the hall closet, settling it around his shoulders. Reaching for her purse, she pulled out a handful of cash and shoved it into Quinn's pocket. "I know it's not much, but if it can get you somewhere safe, it's worth it. I'll find you in a few days with more help, I promise you."

"Okay," he weakly replied, his body starting to shut down with shock. "Bye," he said weakly, kissing her cheek like he'd done every day of his life when he left the house. He limped away from the house on his visibly dislocated left knee, shaking with blood loss as he hobbled down the driveway.

Judy wanted to cry as she watched him walk away, to run after him and beg him to let her take him to a hospital. But she felt an alarming presence step up behind her and her breath caught in her throat.

"Good riddance," Russell growled, wrapping a deceptively strong hand around her shoulder. "Now as for you," he hissed, pulling her back into the house with a painfully hard grip on her shoulder and closing the door on his child's pathetic exodus, "I think you need a lesson on a wife's proper place..."

* * *

><p>It was almost a half hour before someone found him passed out in the park, blood seeping sluggishly through his shirt and called 911. The man knelt beside him on the phone with the 911 operator and stroked his back as comfortingly as he could. "It'll be okay, son. Just hold on a little longer. Help is coming..."<p>

The limp, shivering body didn't respond, the brutality of the beating and the blood loss had caused his body to slip into unconsciousness. The paramedics arrived quickly, carefully assessing the damage and moved him as carefully as they could onto a backboard and into the ambulance. They rushed to St Rita's ER, radioing ahead that they had a critical emergency on board.

"Dr. Lopez, you're needed in trauma one. A kid was found in the park!" One of the nurses directed the doctor into the room that Quinn had been brought into. He quickly headed in and took the chart from one of the nurses before even looking at Quinn's face.

"Young boy - sorry," the EMT interrupted himself as her shirt was pulled open, revealing her badly damaged chest, the EMTs having avoided moving the cloth in the field when they realized it might be all there was keeping the victim together, "girl was found in the park about 30 minutes ago. She has several penetrating cuts on her chest, badly dislocated knee and visibly broken nose."

"Okay." Dr. Lopez said as he snapped on gloved and headed to the girl to check her vitals, "is she awake?"

"Barely," A nurse chimed in as she set up a transfusion of blood. Dr. Lopez checked the deep cuts on her chest.

"She's going to need breast reconstruction. Whoever did this damn near tore her apart," he stated almost offhandedly as he worked - trying to keep himself as emotionally detached as possible - before moving to check her nose. "Sweetheart, if you can hear me you're gonna be... Oh _Dios_," he gasped as he looked down onto the blood covered face of a girl he'd seen in his house almost daily for a few years and had seen not more than two days before when she had dinner with him and his wife and daughter. "Quinn!"

The nurse working to stabilize Quinn's vitals looked up sharply. "You know her, Dr Lopez?" She looked out to an orderly looking in, tossing him a vial, "We need her typed stat, Wright!"

"She's," He caught his breath for a moment, "She's my daughter's gir... friend." He stopped himself. Santana had only told him and his wife a few day's before that she had begun dating Quinn. He looked down at the blood matted hastily cropped hair and her wounds. "We need the police in here for when she wakes up and she's going to need surgery to close these wounds," he ordered, as he continued to inspect her. "Get a call up to Surgery to set up a theater and get Dr. Grabowski here ASAP!"

* * *

><p>They had finally gotten Quinn stabilized and Emilio Lopez had taken the brief moment of reprieve to step out of the trauma room and call his wife. "Maria? Hey, I need you to bring San to the hospital... something happened to Quinn," he spoke softly in his native Spanish. He listened to his wife for a moment and nodded despite being on the phone, "Just get here here okay?"<p>

Hanging up, he headed back into the trauma bay. Quinn was still unconscious with a tube taped into her mouth to breathe for her. One of the broken ribs had punctured her lung and they had needed to intubate her to get enough oxygen into her body to keep her stable before surgery. He pulled a stool over next to her body and he pulled the dressing up over the gauze covering her chest that were still seeping with blood.

"Quinn," he whispered, taking her hand and rubbing it worriedly, "you need to wake up okay? We need to find out who hurt you and you're gonna have a very upset girlfriend here in about 20 minutes."

* * *

><p>Santana ran down the hall, colliding headlong with her father as he stepped out into the hall at the sound of her quick footsteps, but so upset she didn't realize who it was. "Let me go!" She struggled with him, trying to get past whoever it was keeping her from her lover and best friend, "I have to get to hi-her! Quinn!"<p>

"San... San, look at me." He held her shoulders, "Quinn's sleeping and I need to tell you what you're going to see before I let you go inside. Okay, _Mija_? She's here and she's safe but you need to be prepared for how she is okay? Someone hurt her very bad. She's going to be okay but she doesn't really look like Quinn right now."

"I don't care about that!" Santana snapped, pushing at him again, "Just get out of my way and let me see Quinn!"

He took his daughter by the hand and led her into the room where Quinn was still lying on the gurney attached to half a dozen machines and tubes. "Santana, don't touch her chest okay?" He warned as he brought her over to the bed and stood behind her.

"Quinn," Santana breathed, relieved to see the steady rise and fall of his chest. She crossed the room ignoring her father and brushed her lover's hair back. "What the fuck happened to you? Wake up and tell me who did this so I can shove my boot collection up their ass sideways. Please, Quinn..."

"Santana, Quinn... She was found in the park. Someone had beat her fairly severely. They even managed to break her knee cap," he said, taking his wife's hand and watching his daughter try and cope with her girlfriend's injuries. "She has a broken nose and her eye socket is fractured, someone cut her hair and slashed her body... She's going to need extensive surgery. I wanted... I wanted to give you a chance to see her before we take her upstairs." _Just in case she doesn't make it_ went unsaid, though her parents communicated it sadly between each other with their looks and gentle squeezes of their hands.

"He's," she took a breath, composing herself and reminding herself that her parents didn't know about who Quinn really was. "She's going to be okay though, right? We're going to find who did this and lock them up and she's going to be okay. Right, Papi?"

"We will make her better, I promise." He smiled sadly, as he watched his wife console her daughter. "_Mija_, do you want to take a minute alone with her before she's taken up to Surgery?"

"Please?" Santana whispered, her eyes never leaving Quinn despite the way her mom was tugging on her shoulders.

Emilio took his wife outside the doors to explained the procedure so she could comfort Santana and left the couple together. Quinn lay limp and pale on the bed his face still caked in blood and dirt from where he passed out in the park.

"Quinn," Santana shook her head, blinking rapidly, "I thought you were supposed to be my boyfriend. You're not supposed to be in this bed or hurt. You're supposed to holding me or fucking me with your big cock, baby. You need to get better, okay?" Santana tried to brush some of the dirt away from his cheek near his mouth before leaning down and kissing the corner of his lips. "That wasn't meant to be goodbye and you damn well better not let it be. It was just for luck but you don't need it cause you're gonna be fine..."

The nurse came in and started to prepare Quinn to be taken upstairs as Maria came and collected her daughter. Quinn's bed was wheeled out of the room and Emilio headed up with her to make sure she was in the proper hands in the operating room.

"Quinn's strong, Santana." Maria said softly as she guided her daughter to her husband's office. "She'll be okay soon."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Nearly 24 hours after the brutalization of Quinn by his father, the young man's eyes blinked open. The tube had been taken from his throat once he got out of surgery and showed signs of breathing on his own after his lung was reflated, but he still had a oxygen mask carefully placed over his swollen nose and lips feeding him a richer than normal oxygen mix. He groaned softly as he looked up at the beige ceiling and blinked.

_Everything_ hurt.

He was exhausted just opening his eyes and trying to feel something besides pain, something - anything - that could help him figure out where he was. He turned his head slightly and his blurry eyes focused on a dark haired shape in the chair next to his bed. Eventually his tired eyes let him make out the shape of Santana sleeping awkwardly curled in the chair next to him. As he got used to the pain, he could just barely feel the gentle warmth of her hand placed on his. Using as much energy as he could muster, he carefully turned his hand under hers to tangle their fingers together.

Santana whimpered softly in her sleep as her body resisted waking up so early. It'd taken a lot of string pulling by her father to get her permission to stay with Quinn, but one look at how worried his little girl was and he'd gotten on the phone. If someone had asked, she wouldn't have been able to tell them when she fell asleep, but she'd somehow curled almost her entire body into the tiny uncomfortable chair that she'd dragged across the room to be as close to Quinn's bed as she could get it.

Finally though, her head lifted from where she'd been resting it on her shoulder and her tired eyes blinked open. "Quinn?" her voice sounded hoarse and gravelly even to her ears. Her eyes flicked down to where his hand had covered hers and a hopeful smile turned up the corners of her lips as her gaze flashed back up to his, "You're awake?"

He lifted his hand up and waved at her. He tried to bring his hand up to his oxygen mask but his arm got tangled in the tubes and cords. He groaned and turned to look at her and run his thumb over her hand.

Santana laughed with relief. "Stay still, you idiot. I don't want you hurting yourself again and being stuck in here longer." She unfolded herself from the chair with a groan and hugged him carefully. "I'm so glad you woke up. You had me worried, Q."

"Sorry," he mumbled from under the mask, his eyes following her. He reached his hand up the best he could and stoked her hair. "You're here," he whimpered, his voice muffled by the mask and his swollen face.

"Of course I'm here," she smiled at him as if she couldn't believe he doubted she would be, "I'm your girlfriend, right?" Her eyes searched his, looking for reassurance. "And you're my like only friend besides..."

"Of course you're my girlfriend," he whispered. "San? What happened? Am I okay?"

"You got _really_ trashed," Santana tried smiling, but she was scared and it showed in how her hand trembled as she carefully brushed over Quinn's destroyed hair. "They even fucked your hair up. What'd you do, try to take on a whole gang of white supremacists on your own after telling them you were dating me? Without giving me a chance to get my own two kicks in?"

"Oh," he whispered as the night slowly came back to his memory. "There were pictures of us," he said as he finally got his hand up to remove the oxygen mask. "He got so mad." Quinn brought his hand to his chest feeling the thick gauze. "Ouch."

"Pictures?" Santana looked confused, "Quinn, I might be into some kinky shit sometimes, but I've never taken _pictures_... Wait. He? One person did this to you?" She first went pale then darkened with anger. "Who? I'll kill him myself!"

"Don't... It's fine..." he whimpered. "Don't call my mom... She'll find me."

"It's not fine, Quinn!" Santana looked hurt and worried. "Someone almost killed you! That's not fine, okay? It's not! You've gotta report this. You can't let him get away with it..."

"San... I'm alive..." He whispered, "That's more than they wanted... We can't... I can't report this. It will just be worse. Please understand."

"What? You want me to _understand_ someone _trying to kill you_? To act like it's okay or something?" she looked appalled, leaning back from Quinn. "Fuck that! No, okay! I'm not okay with someone trying to kill you! I'm not okay with it, Quinn!"

Quinn struggled to exhale and put his mask back on. He closed his eyes and tried to not cry. He heard the nurse come in and give him a new IV bag and antibiotics.

"Miss, your father said when she wakes up she needs to talk to the police officers. We've been trying to contact her family with no answer. Do you know another number that you could give your father for them?" The nurse asked as she wrote down notes on Quinn's chart.

"Hi...Her family's a bunch of dicks," Santana ground out, still angry at Quinn for trying to get her to let go of him being so brutally hurt. "If they can't reach them they're probably at church praying to look even better. Fucking assholes..."

"She's still underage... they need to sign off on her care," the nurse explained, not noticing how rigid and trembling Quinn had got. "Okay we'll keep looking for a next of kin for her treatment." The nurse smiled, "You should get some breakfast, Ms. Lopez, you've been here for a long time," she remarked before walking out. Quinn's eyes remained closed, scared to open her eyes and see her father's face hovering over him again with that letter opener.

Santana just sat beside Quinn for a while in silence before she sighed. "Do you...not want me here?" she whispered, scared of what his answer would be. "Should I just go and...I don't know. What do you want?"

"I want you here," he whispered. "But I wish you didn't have to see me like this. I don't want you to be in danger because of me. I... I don't want you going anywhere alone. Just... just stay where I can protect you," he said, not really thinking that he couldn't even get up or _walk_ if her father came to the hospital. "Just... please don't go after anyone."

"Go after _who_?" Santana sniffed, trying to control her body's desire to cry from how angry she was. "For all I know this is _my_ fault. You said there were photos. Maybe someone came after you because of me. Because I'm a lesbian..."

"He would have tried to kill me when he found out no matter what," Quinn sighed and reached for Santana's hand. "He tried to kill me because I think I'm a boy. It's simple and not your fault."

"But it _is_ my fault," Santana whimpered, clutching onto his hand like it was a lifeline. "If you weren't with me who'd have been sick enough to take photos?"

"Doesn't matter." Quinn said, "It wasn't because of you... He would have killed me ether way. I know that, that's why I tried to hide. I just got sloppy about hiding recently, the pictures had nothing to do with us," Quinn lied, not wanting his girlfriend to be hurt by his father's hate. "It was just me."

"I don't believe it. Not in this town," Santana sighed, slumping in the chair. "Papi says your boobs are gone now," she whispered. "They had to take out like almost all the tissue and stuff to have enough skin to close up what he did to you..."

"Oh... that's why it hurts so bad," he remarked. "There's gonna be big scars right?" He sighed, wiggling his fingers to reach for her.

"Yeah," Santana smiled a bit tearily at Quinn, reaching to tangle her fingers with his, "but you'll look totally badass. Like some kind of action hero."

"Do you know how long I have to be here?" He asked as he looked at his girlfriend. "I hope my mom finds me soon..." He looked down worried about her safety with her father.

"I don't know," Santana shrugged. "Papi said he'd come by and assess you as a mature minor if they couldn't get your asshole parents soon."

Quinn nodded, "I'm tired..." He whimpered as he fell asleep mid sentence.

* * *

><p>Quinn woke up to only dim lighting from outside in the hall and a lamp by the end of his bed illuminating the room. Santana was gone and he was freezing cold. He looked over and saw a shadow of a man at the foot of his bed and started to whimper. "P-please don't hurt me!" he exclaimed as he blinked rapidly trying to get his vision to clear up. He started to try to flee thinking his father had found him.<p>

"Whoa! Calm down," Dr Lopez's reassuring lilt cut through his panic as the man dropped his chart back into the pocket at the foot of his bed. "I assure you that no one will harm you here, sweetheart. You're safe."

The heart rate monitor started to calm down as Quinn blinked and focused his eyes on her girlfriend's father. He took several shaky breaths and nodded. Quinn's gown had been taken down to his waist and the gauze had been removed so Dr. Lopez could check the stitches. "S-sorry..." Quinn whispered as his eyes fell on the dark red and purple sutured scars across his chest.

"Don't worry," he reassured, "you've been through a lot. So, you got assessed as a mature minor last afternoon," he offered, checking the sutures. "Hmm, Dr Grabowski does very good work. You're going to look rather masculine up top after you heal with your build, but I'm sure with some reconstructive surgery, you'll look just as beautiful as you used to."

"Oh," he said softly. "When do I have to have that?" Quinn asked as he looked him. "What does Mature Minor mean?" Quinn asked as he looked up at the ceiling of the room as Mr. Lopez inspected his body.

"Once you've healed," Dr Lopez smiled down at her reassuringly, "there's no rush. And it means that you've been judged competent to make your own health care decisions so we can take care of you without having to track down your parents." He finished changing her dressing and sat back in the chair. "If you have any questions, it's a fairly slow night and I can't say I'd mind helping out my daughter's beau."

"When will I be healed?" Quinn asked, "How long do I have to stay in the hospital? I don't want to talk to the police..."

"Yes, my daughter mentioned as much," he sighed leaning forward, "It'll be at least a month before your body is sufficiently healed for implant surgery, possibly longer. Because of the extent of your injuries, we'd like to keep you here for at the very minimum a week. Now, Quinn... Do you want to tell me what happened? Doctor patient confidentiality. I won't tell anyone unless you are in immediate danger or you allow it."

"Why can't I move my leg?" Quinn asked as he looked down at his legs seeing one in a splint with pins going into the knee. He didn't want to tell Dr. Lopez what happened and he was avoiding looking at him so he wouldn't break down.

"Your knee was severely damaged, Quinn," Dr Lopez explained with a sigh, "I'm afraid cheerleading is over for you. It will be at least six months with extensive physical therapy to heal and you may always walk with a limp. I'm very sorry."

"At least Santana will get to be captain then." Quinn said distractedly. "She deserves it and wanted it more than I did anyway." he admitted, "I know you must have tried to contact my family but please don't." He said, "Just... don't okay."

"We're legally obligated to, but no one answered any attempt to contact them." He looked at her for a long moment, "Quinn, is something wrong at home? Was this," he gestured at her damaged body, "some kind of hate crime? Is Santana going to be targeted next?"

"Where is Santana?" Quinn quickly asked, "Just... make sure she doesn't do anything stupid and she'll be fine. I'd never let him hurt her." Quinn said his voice stronger than any other time since they had started talking. "My... I shamed him and I got what I deserved."

"She's at home in bed. Some place I rather wish you were instead of here." He sighed and reached out to pat Quinn's shoulder. "I never realized that when Santana told me she was a lesbian, I'd find myself worrying about two girls, but here you are and she truly cares about you. You obviously know who did this to you. I wish you would tell me..."

"Is... is she with her mom? I don't want her to be alone..." Quinn whispered, trying to stay calm. "I deserved to get hurt. I made him mad and... I don't know how he found out... who sent those pictures. No one was going to know until it was safe."

"She's fine, Quinn. What are you talking about? What pictures? My god, child, nothing could be so horrible to deserve what happened to you..." Dr Lopez took her hand and squeezed it. "Give me a name, Quinn. Let me protect you, please."

"He wanted me to stay Lucy..." he whispered, "I couldn't.. I wanted to be Quinn." He blinked the tears that came to his eyes. "Someone gave him pictures of how I wanted to be... I don't know. Only three people knew... but he looked at me like he hated me. I came home and he asked me... I should have denied it!" he cried, remembering his father's gaze when he told him he was a boy.

"When you came..." his voice caught in his throat. He couldn't believe it. "Quinn... Sweetheart, did... Did your father do this to you?"

"He's not my father anymore," Quinn said coldly as he looked away. "I should have just shut up and then he wouldn't have had to hit me. I shouldn't have fought back... I shouldn't have tried to be a man and face my father." He mumbled as he closed his eyes.

"Be a man...?" Emilio looked confused for a moment before a memory of some of his patients when they lived in Fresno came to him, "Quinn...were you... Please forgive me for asking, but are you... transgendered?"

Quinn just shrugged the best he could. He honestly didn't know who or _what_ he was anymore. His body had been ripped apart because of what he thought he should be rather than what he was born as. He had spent the better part of the last few hours wondering if everything would be easier if he just sucked it up and lived like everyone thought he should.

Dr Lopez nodded slowly. "Does...does Santana know? Is she okay with it?"

"She knows," Quinn stated not sure on whether or not his girlfriend was actually _okay_ with it. "She doesn't know this happened because of that... but she does know that I'm like _this_." He grumbled, suddenly hating himself more than he had in the last year since he realized his identity.

"Okay," Dr Lopez didn't understand how that worked and he wouldn't pretend to, but if it was making his baby girl happy, he'd do his best to be okay with it. "Obviously, you can't go home. That would be criminally negligent to allow. So, while it isn't typically my policy to offer my baby girl's... boyfriend a home, I'll make an exception for you. If you want to come stay with us, at least until you graduate, you're welcome in our home."

"Thank you," he whispered, his eyes opening and looking at him. "My mom said she'd find me... she'll protect me. I don't wanna be a burden on you," he said, almost naively believing that his mother would somehow be able to get away and take care of him. "She'll... she's going to come. She has too."

"Okay, but if something happens, you're welcome." He squeezed his shoulder, "I don't know how you and Santana work with you as a man, but if you can keep making her smile like she has been, I don't care. Just take care of my baby girl and don't hurt her and I'll be happy."

"She's my best friend and I love everything about her." He replied, "I won't hurt her as long as I'm alive." He said honestly, he coughed softly. He started to whimper his body starting to overcome the painkillers. "Hurts."

"Let me check your chart," Dr Lopez murmured, getting up and moving to flip through the chart tucked in the pocket at the end of the bed. "Mmhmm, looks like you're due for another dose of painkillers. Well, son," he murmured almost absently after carefully making sure he used the right term, "I guess you won't want those implants as much now, huh. Let me get a nurse in here to dose you and your girl will be by later after school, okay?"

"Thank you," he said softly as he looked at his girlfriendﾒs father. "Please don't tell the cops..." he mumbled again before the pain medication shot entered his veins. "He'll hurt my mom and Santana and I don't want him to hurt anyone more."

"Don't worry, Quinn," Dr Lopez whispered, brushing a hand over his head, "if he comes here or near Santana, I'll stop him myself."

* * *

><p>Santana wasn't thrilled to be at school on Monday when her boyfriend was laying in a hospital bed but her mother had insisted and besides, someone had to tell Sue that her golden girl was out indefinitely. When she came out of the infamous coach's office with a promotion to head cheerleader and an apparently sincere wish from Sue for a quick recovery, she looked stunned. She absolutely was not prepared to see an overly cheerful Brittany all but skipping up the hall towards her.<p>

"Hi, Sanny!" Brittany chirped after she blew a kiss to Artie as he rolled away to his class. "Why were you talking to Coach?" She asked, as she reached over and took Santana's hand since she didn't see _Quinn_ anywhere.

"Hi, Britt-Britt. I'm head cheerleader now," Santana replied distractedly, absentmindedly pulling her hand from Brittany's. She wasn't thinking of how the blonde would react. She had other things in mind, like how much longer she had to wait before her mom would come by to pick her up and take her to the hospital to see Quinn.

Brittany pouted and looked at her friend, "Yay!" she clapped as she followed Santana to her locker. "That's awesome, San! You're so pretty and flexy!" Brittany ran her hand over the girl's back. "Can you make me co-captian now? Or does _Quinn_ still get if she was demoted?"

"You're captain of the JV squad, Britt, and Sue decides, not me," Santana pointed out, spinning in the combo to her locker and popping it open. "But I'm the new captain because Quinn in the hospital. She can't cheer anymore."

"Oh," she pouted. "But, I wanna cheer with you," she said with a petulant tone. "What did Miss Perfect do to get kicked off of the squad? Why is she in the hospital did someone drop her?"

"Don't even _joke_, Brittany!" Santana snapped, jerking her gaze from her locker to glare at the taller blonde. "Someone beat the hell out of her so bad she almost _died_. It's not funny and you shouldn't say things like that."

"Oh." Brittany scuffed her shoes. "That sucks, did they mess up her face because she's really pretty." She hated that Santana was apparently upset with her. "Is she okay?" She asked as she pulled Santana into a hug, "She'll be fine."

Santana pushed her away, not interested in being comforted. "No, she won't. They cut her chest all up and fucked up her knee so bad she maybe won't walk again 'cause I'm her girlfriend, so no, she's not _okay_."

"Oh..." Brittany said softly, "I don't understand. Why did she get hurt?" she asked as she looked at her friend. She started speaking again before she was interrupted by a breathless Sam.

"Santana!" He yelled as he nearly pushed Brittany out of the way. "What happened to her, please please tell me she's staying with you." He looked like he ran all the way to school. "I went to pick up Quinn this morning and her dad said she ran away... she can't just disappear please tell me she's okay!"

"Sam! I was talking to Santana." Brittany whined and stomped her foot. "Who cares about that?"

"_Shut up_, Brittany!" Sam yelled, "Go the fuck away this isn't your problem!" Brittany looked at the boy and broke out into tears and bolted down the hall hoping Santana would follow her.

Much as she disliked her oldest friend running away in tears, Santana had more important things on her mind. She shook her head, looking more scared than she usually would allow someone to see. "She's," she swallowed, remembering that Sam knew the truth. "He's in the hospital," she whispered.

Sam reached out and pulled Santana into a hug, "What happened? Did he really run away? Russell didn't even seem to care that his kid was gone. He just said that _Lucy_ wasn't here anymore." He was scared for his friend and seeing Santana scared made him even more worried. "Is he okay?"

Santana just shook her head. "No, he...wait, Russell said _what_?"

"That Q was gone, or _Lucy_." Sam sighed, "He smelled like booze and I asked to talk to Judy and he said she was sick... Dude's weird."

"That sick son of a _bitch_! I'll kill him!" Santana was livid, pushing past Sam and taking off down the hall towards the parking lot.

Sam ran after her, "San! What's going on?" He called out as he caught up with her. "Stop and tell me whats going on!"

"It's _his_ fault!" Santana struggled against the grip Sam had on her arms, "That fucking bastard did this to Q! Somehow he got photos of us together and he almost _killed_ his own kid cause he couldn't deal!"

Sam's face hardened. "Mother fucker is dead," Sam said and fished his keys out of his pocket. "Let's go," he said as he pulled Santana to his car. "I'm gonna kill him with my bare hands."

When the cold air hit her, she stopped. "No... We have to go to the cops." She shook her head and took a shuddery breath, "I promised him I'd not go near the guy that hurt him. And that asshole deserves to be dragged through the fucking streets in cuffs."

"Fine. But fucker's going down. No one touches my bro and gets away with it." He growled and got into his car, barely waiting long enough for Santana to buckle up before speeding to the police station.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Quinn laid in the bed. It had been three days since his father brutalized him, cut his body and broke his soul. There had been a lot of people in and out of Quinn's room in that time. Doctors, nurses, cops and the Lopezes.

Quinn had asked Santana to not let Blaine or Sam or anyone else come to see him yet, everything was too painful and raw to hold it together with anyone other than Santana. For the most part Quinn held it together pretty well with his girlfriend - but during the late hours of the night, when he couldnﾒt sleep because he was terrifed that Russell would show up and finish the job he started, he spent much of the time sobbing and trying to claw out of his skin distressing the nurses as each morning they'd find that Quinn had pulled out more stitches from his chest or the slashes on his thighs.

The anti-anxiety medication doses had been increased and Quinn started to fall into a more catatonic state when awake. He was staring at the television vacantly when he heard the soft click of the door opening.

"Quinn?" His mother's voice was soft as she eased the door open and slipped into the room. She looked worse for wear, makeup barely covering bruising on her face and finger shaped bruises peeking out from the sleeves of her shirt. She limped slightly as she made her way towards the bed, clutching a small bag.

Quinn's head turned to the side and he smiled as brightly as he could when he saw his mom. "Mommy!" He said softly as he tried to sit up but winced and had to lie back down. "Mommy, you got hurt," he whispered, reaching his hand towards her face as she got closer.

Judy caught his hand and kissed it. "Yes, but I'll get better, don't you worry, sweetheart." She handed him the bag, "I brought you something."

He put the bag on the bed without looking at it. "Mom, you got away? You came to take me away with you?" He looked at her hopefully.

Judy looked pained, but she shook her head no. "I'm sorry, baby. I can't. Not while he could find us. I wish I could, please believe me. But I need you to be safe." She cupped Quinn's cheek, "And what about that girl of yours? I saw a picture of the two of you kissing. You looked so _happy_... You don't want to leave her, do you?"

"But... I don't wanna leave you." He whimpered, "You're... you're my mom." He sniffled, it felt like his heart was being torn out. "Where am I to go if I can't be with you... I wanna go home with you."

"I want you to too but it's not safe there, baby," she sat awkwardly on the side of the bed, her sore body protesting. "I talked to Maria Lopez and she told me they'll protect you. They'll keep you safe while I try to get that man out of our lives. I'm going to go live with some of my family up north for now. Look in the bag, Quinn..."

He sniffled and looked down, feeling rejected. He carefully looked into the bag and pulled out the bank book and his keys. "What's this?" He asked as his other hand itched slightly at his chest stitches.

"Don't scratch," Judy chided him almost absently, pulling his hand from his stitches, "you'll scar worse. Here," she pulled a tube of her favorite body cream from her purse and handed it to him. "This will help with the itching. Those are your car keys. I had it taken to the Lopezes' when that man tried to have it scrapped. You should look in the trunk when you see it next." She smiled lopsidedly with her split lip, not explaining further. "And that," she nodded at the bank book, "is the bank book for a set of checking and savings accounts in _your_ name that I set up when you were born. I've been funneling that man's money in it for years for you. I know it's not much, but it's all I was brave enough to do. I'm so sorry I couldn't do more for you, sweetheart."

Quinn nodded, but he didn't look at the amount. He just looked a his mom, scared that this was the last time he would ever see her. "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough to make him happy. I tried... I tried to be everything he wanted so he wouldn't hurt you anymore. I'm sorry I didn't protect you enough." He cried softly, loosing the fight to keep his tears at bay. "I'm sorry mom." He raised his hand to her face, "I should have been able to stop this... I was selfish with wanting to change... I was selfish and he hurt you because of me."

"Oh, no. No, Quinn, no," Judy leaned forward as fast as she could with the bruising on her stomach and wrapped her arms around her son, pulling him close. "It's not your fault. It isn't selfish to want to be yourself, baby. You did protect me. You protected me far more than I deserved. I'm so sorry I wasn't a better mother. That I didn't protect my baby boy like I should have. But I swear none of this is at all because of you. It's all him, Quinn. All him."

Quinn just clung to his mother, despite the pain that wracked through his body at the contact and jostling. He sobbed in her arms and tried to memorize what it felt like to be held by her. "M-mom." He stammered, "please don't leave without me."

It broke Judy's heart to hear how broken her child sounded and she buried her face in the remains of his hair, breathing deep to try and memorize how he smelled. "I'm sorry, Quinn. I'm so sorry. But I have to be a good mother and protect my baby for once in my life. I have to go and keep him from finding you." She kissed the top of his head. "You take care of that pretty girl of yours. I know you'll be a far better man than your father ever was. And if she's the one, you had best save me a place in the front row at your wedding, okay? I won't miss that for the world."

Quinn tried to pull himself together despite feeling like his body just got reopened and torn apart _again_. "I-I promise." He stuttered, "I.. I'll be strong... I'll be good, pr-promise." He tried to wipe his eyes, "I'll take care of S-Santana." He took a shaky breath, "Y-you need to be happy too okay? F-find someone to love you," he whimpered as his mom pulled out of their hug to look at him. "Please tell me I-I'll see you soon?"

She nodded, her eyes bright with the tears she was trying so hard not to shed as she smiled at her son. "Definitely. I need to see what kind of man you grow into. And if I find someone, you're first on the invite list to the wedding. I'll need someone to give me away after all." She blinked back tears as she leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "I love you, Quinn. You'll always be my perfect little angel."

"I love you too, mom." He said softly as he looked up at her. "I'll make you proud..." He whispered as he let go of her hand and tried to look strong. "B-be careful." He said as he watched her gather her bag. "I love you..." his lip quivered as he closed his eyes not willing to watch his mom walk out of his life.

"You've already made me so proud, Quinn. Just be happy now," she stood there for a moment, graving the lines of his face into her memory. "Your mom will make you proud, son. I'll protect you and when it's safe, I promise I'll come for you." She leaned over the bed and brushed her lips against his forehead again, "Be happy, sweetheart."

She stepped backwards and quickly hurried from the room before she lost her resolve, tears streaking down her cheeks as she hurried from the hospital to her car. A half hour later, she had to wipe at the tears blurring her vision as she drove past the sign that declared she was leaving Lima and out of her son's life.

* * *

><p>It took nearly two days before Detectives Smith and Riley were able to get a judge to sign off on set of warrants for the Fabray property on only Santana's conviction of his guilt in Quinn Fabray's brutal beating. But as hard as it has been to convince a judge, they weren't taking any chances and an additional pair of squads were soon pulling up in front of the house, lights flashing against the houses of the affluent neighborhood. The two detectives pulled their Crown Victoria into the driveway and looked up at the silent house.<p>

Smith looked at Riley as he pulled the folded warrant out of his breast pocket. "You ready for this?"

She threw the car in park and killed the engine. "Definitely. I want to see if that girl was right."

They got up to the house and rang the bell. After a few minutes of no answer, Riley started pounding on the door. Pulling her sidearm from it's holster, Smith shook her head and nodded around the side of the building. She was just about to head to the backdoor when a neighbor called out.

"If you're looking for the Fabrays, you're way too late," the high voice of the old man called out. "Russell packed up and left at least a day ago."

"Seriously?" Smith looked appalled.

The old man smiled and nodded, "Like a thief in the night. And seeing you all, I'm thinking I know why. There's a key under the flowerpot there."

Detective Riley snatched the key from under the pot and unlocked the door. He brandished his weapon as he headed into the house. "Lima Police!" He called out. The house was not empty. The furniture, appliances and some personal affects were still intact. Smith looked at a photo on the table which was of the victim and had been torn apart.

"Riley!" He called out and pointed to a trail of blood that headed out of the front door. "The kid was right," He remarked as he followed his partner follow the trail. He pushed open the door of the back office and blanched.

"Creep didn't even _try_ to clean up the blood." He gaped and waved one of the other officers in and they started to take photos of the scene. "No one touch anything! This is a crime scene!"

"Oh God, this is sick," Smith muttered, looking pale as she took in the blood that had soaked into the hardwood. "What kind of twisted bastard does this to his own kid?"

"Not the kind we want in Lima," Riley growled, dropping a marker on the desk by the blood-stained letter opener. "Over here," he waved at the officer snapping photos, "I think we have the weapon."

"We need a lab to look this over, James," Smith looked around worriedly. "I'm thinking this might be way more than we can handle in Lima..."

"Yeah. I'll get on the radio and call the staties in and see about getting an arrest warrant out. Go search the rest of the house," he growled at the first officer outside of the room before looking back over his shoulder at Smith. "You need to go talk to the man across the street. He's a witness and then we need to find the wife."

"I know how to do my job, James. I was _your_ training officer after all, remember?" Smith teased, trying to disconnect herself from the evidence of what had happened in Quinnﾒs home before heading out of the room to go talk to the neighbors.

"Yeah yeah," he muttered, "That's why you're getting to _leave_ this nasty room."

* * *

><p>Quinn had been in the hospital nearly a week, getting sadder with each day after his mom had left him there. Santana hated seeing him like that, but she wasn't sure how to cheer him up until she saw him wince when yet another nurse treated him like a girl and talked about getting reconstructive surgery on his chest. It had been mildly embarrassing going to Kelly's store to find what she'd needed - not to mention the trip to the mall for the rest of it - but she was pretty sure it'd cheer him up.<p>

She peeked in the door, smiling at her still convalescent boyfriend. "Hey, Quinn. Want some company? I got you something to cheer you up."

"Hi," He smiled weakly as he saw the girl. "You came."

He had taken to being surprised every time someone came to see him more than once. He had stopped hoping his mother would come back and tell him she was sorry for leaving and take him home. He knew that he was alone. That his mom left him and he had no family anymore. His body was sore and the cuts on his chest had gotten infected from the prolonged time it spent open after the cuts happened and because Quinn kept _accidentally_ popping stitches. His arms were restrained to the bed when Santana came in, usually they would untie him by now but Santana was early.

Santana smiled as she came over. "Of course I came, idiot. You're my boyfriend. I like being with you." She set the gift bag in his lap and started undoing the straps holding his wrists down. "Come on, let's get you untied so you can open your present. And just so you know, I completely vetoed Sam's suggestion of getting you a dirty magazine. Besides, I figured you'd like this more."

She moved around the bed to undo his other wrist, "You know, too bad there's so many people coming to check on you, this," she tapped on the strap with a smirk, "could be fun without an audience, don't you think?"

"Somehow I think that would pop a few stitches," he said as he rubbed his wrists. "And you're lucky youﾒre hot because youﾒre kind of a freak... though if a dirty magazine had photos of you naked in it I could be into that," he teased before sliding over and making room for her on the bed. "How was school?" He asked as he fingered the fabric of her Cheerios skirt.

"Not as fun without you there," Santana admitted quietly, resting her head on Quinn's shoulder as she sat beside him. "Though putting freshmen in mortal fear _is_ kind of fun. Are you going to see what I brought you?"

"ﾒKay." He said as he raised his arms to look in the bag. He pulled out a pair sleep shorts, then a small pair of red boxer trunks. He looked down to the bottom and his smile grew wider as he reached in and pulled out the soft packer. "You got me a penis." He smiled disbelievingly up at his girlfriend.

Santana blushed, but nodded. "And it was totally embarrassing so any more presents like that are coming in discreet brown paper packages. But," she hopped off the bed to close the door before coming back to pull his blanket down, "I want you to be comfortable and stuff."

She plucked the boxers from his hands before carefully sliding the panties the nurses had been making him wear off his hips, "But there ain't no way I want you getting hard for anyone but me, and luckily," she smirked up at him as she got the panties off over his splinted knee and started sliding the boxers on, "unlike with most guys, I can totally ensure that doesn't happen with you."

"Given that my erection lives in your bedroom," he stated as he pushed himself up with both arms so she could wiggle the tight boxers onto his body. Then watched her get the sleep shorts over his legs and leaving them on his thighs. He had the packing penis in his hands and slid it down into his boxers, fiddling around to get it in the right place then tugged his boxers a little higher on his hips. He smiled and ran his hand over the bulge and then raised his hips for Santana to help with the sleep shorts. He had pushed up his gown so most of his lower stomach was exposed before taking Santana's hand and put it on his crotch.

"How does it feel? Does it feel _natural?_" he asked shyly.

"Feels like you," Santana smirked, leaning up and kissing him with her hand still cupping the bulge. "And thank you for reminding me where your erection is. I might have to indulge later when I'm missing you," she teased, rubbing him slightly before letting her hand trail up to run over his lower abdomen. "You know," she whispered, settling in beside him on the bed and letting her hand run up over his gown until it rested in the center of his chest, "I think this could mean no more binder when we're together."

"Except I look gross with stitches and staples keeping my guts from falling out." He remarked pointing to the gauze that was discolored with blood and ooze. "And that's not fair if you use my junk if I'm not there... if you do, you have to skype me on your computer and I get to watch on the iPad your dad let me borrow from the hospital," he pouted, looking down at her hand.

"You look gross now, but you'll be sexy as fuck when they're healed," Santana assured him, kissing his jaw. "Like one of those action movie badasses. And you say I'm a freak," she laughed. "Isn't it pretty kinky to want to watch your girlfriend fuck herself with your junk on skype? If I do, you so gotta tell me how to do it." She smirked, nipping at his earlobe, "Cause gotta admit, it sounds kinda hot."

"I just... I don't like thinking that you can do it without me," he said softly. "It... it doesn't make it feel like it's apart of me then," he admitted. "I don't care if you touch yourself... I'd... I'd just prefer if you... waited for me to do that." He looked away from her, "I'm sorry, but I'm not telling you what to do."

"Wait. Quinn, no," she cupped his cheek and turned him to face her. "I might be a kinky bitch sometimes, but seriously that kind of stuff is not really my scene. You just sounded into it, so I thought, if you wanted...ﾔ she shook her head. ﾓQuinn, if you want to watch me fuck myself," she smirked, "well, I'm sexy as hell and I like you watching. Especially if you want to tell me _how_ to fuck myself. But," she wiggled her fingers, "I'd rather use these and imagine you jerking off to it than ride your junk without you attached."

He nodded and rested his head against hers. "We'll see how long I have to be here okay? I'm not feeling really sexy at the moment." He laced his fingers with hers and used his other to feel his package again. "Thank you," he whispered.

Santana nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. "I want you to be happy, Quinn. It makes me feel wrong to see you sad like you've been." She cuddled close, careful of his injuries, "I miss you, you know. Like at school and stuff. I miss when we'd hang out and okay, I really miss the way you make me feel when we fuck too. But I miss...this," she tilted her head slightly to indicate the cuddling, "the most. And fuck I feel like a gross sappy freak now."

"I miss this too. I just... I want everything to be normal again." He sighed, "Going to school, Cheerios, coming home and going to see you?" He knew his emotions were in a bad place but he couldn't stop that hate for himself for everything that he cause to happen.

"I want... I want to pull you into the janitorﾒs closet and kiss you. Fuck, I wanna go to Glee and pick on Berry... I wanna go home and have dinner with my mom and do homework and help her get ready for church on Sunday. I just want everything to be _normal_."

Santana was quiet for a moment. "When you were... normal," she whispered softly, trying to ignore the ache in her chest and the little voice screaming that this was just like Brittany all over again, "when you were normal you _weren't a lesbian_ and didn't want me." She pulled away slightly, biting her inner cheek to try and keep her composure, "I'm sorry I took normal away from you. I'm sorry, Quinn..."

"Yo-you are the only thing good in my life," Quinn stumbled, started to shake when Santana pulled away. "I-I... I could be a girl and love you. I can do that.. I can be what you need... Please don't leave me," he gasped as he felt the preemptive pain of Santana leaving wash over his body.

"Maybe I don't _want_ you to be a girl though," Santana whispered, her heart hurting as she sat up and looked down at her hands. "Maybe I just want _you_. Fuck, I'm so stupid, aren't I? Buying that fucking thing for you and... and trying so hard to be your girlfriend and not fuck it up. But you want _normal_, don't you? Just like everyone else..."

"I.. I just got my body _ripped_ apart, Santana!" He yelled, "By my _Dad_ because he found out I feel like a boy... He tried to kill me because I'm not _normal_!" He was shaking, his heart monitor beeping quickly. His hands had found a cut on his leg and was digging his fingers into it. "He hurt my mom because I'm not _normal_. She left... she came here and said goodbye to me because she couldn't - she _wouldn't_ stay with me, Santana."

He was sobbing and shaking so violently, "I want you... I need you and I'm trying so hard .. and so are you. I'm sorry if I keep fucking it up, I'm sorry if I'm not a ray of fucking sunshine."

Santana grabbed his hands and pulled them from his body before he could pull any of his stitches open, moving to straddle his waist and restrain him with leverage and her own body weight. "I don't _want_ a ray of sunshine, Quinn," she hissed, glaring down at him, anger overriding fear. "I'm sorry your family has hurt you so much, but I'm here goddamn it! I'm right _here_ and I don't want _normal_! I want _you_! You're the only one who's ever wanted me for _me_. Can't you see how important that is? I want you, Quinn. Just the way you are. Sad, happy, angry... I want _you_."

"For how long?" He sobbed, his fears bursting out of him, "For how long are you gonna want me? You're gay and I think and... and _pretend_ that I'm guy!" He whimpered, falling limp against the bed. "How long until you can't take it? Until you find a girl who wants you for you and you leave me?"

"There," Santana shook her head, confused as to where this was coming from when she thought she'd been doing good at expressing her want for him, "Quinn, there's always going to be girls who want me. There's girls _now_ who want me. But none of them are _you_. None of them can make me smile like you do. Or make me happy just cuddling and being in the same room like you do... Why can't that be enough? Why do I have to act like fucking Berry and try and predict the goddamn future to be with you?"

He closed his eyes and his body wracked with sobs. He had a fever and everything hurt. On top of this, he couldn't handle it. "Don't leave me." He whimpered, "Just, please... I can't take anymore. I don't wanna be here... I just wanna go home. Please, let me go home, San."

She cuddled him, letting go of his hands and carefully supporting the majority of her weight on her arms and knees to avoid pressuring his injuries. "I'm not leaving you, Q. You make me mad as hell sometimes, but I promise I'm not leaving. As soon as you're better, I'm taking you home so I can hold you all night. Papi says another day if you stop scratching," she whispered in his ear, hugging him, "just one day and I can take you home, baby..."

He slumped down and whimpered, not believing her because he knows by how the nurses talk when they think he's sleeping that he could need more surgery on his knee and he needed psych to assess him to discharge him. "I'm so tired... can... can you stay? I can't sleep when I'm alone."

"Definitely," she whispered, moving to snuggle beside him. "They can just try and throw me out. Just sleep, okay?" She leaned in to kiss him softly, "I'm right here and anyone who tries to hurt you is gonna get their balls cut off."

"Thank you..." He mumbled before falling to sleep, clinging onto her.

Santana just snuggled into him and listened to him breathe for a little while before falling asleep herself. When her father looked in on Quinn a couple hours later, he smiled softly to see the boy and his daughter looking peaceful in their sleep for one of the first times in the last week and wrote a quick note allowing Santana to stay for that night on his chart.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Nearly five days after Quinn's freak out with Santana, Dr. Lopez came into his hospital room with a smile on his face. "Hey Quinn." He said as he brought a duffel bag over and placed it on the end of the bed. "How are you feeling today?"

"Like I wanna leave," he said simply. "You told San I would be able to leave nearly a week ago." He turned to look up at his girlfriend's father from the book he was reading.

"I know I did. But your infection got worse than we thought it would at first and you needed some more observation, but," he smiled, "you think you wanna leave today?" Quinn's eyes went wide, "Yep, I got permission to take you back to the house today. What do you think about that?"

He pushed himself up and pulled the blanket off his legs. "Can we go now?"

Emilio laughed softly and nodded, "How about we get you washed up and dressed. Your friend Samuel dropped off some of your clothing if you wanna put something on after you bathe?"

"Sweet," Quinn smiled and took the help to get up onto the crutches that Emilio offered. The doctor put a plastic shower covering over the the fabric and metal brace off the boy's knee and helped him sit down in the wheelchair he had waiting. "The nurse is still going to help you okay?" He said as he took him over to the bathroom and the waiting nurse who'd been helping him.

"Okay," Quinn nodded as he headed in to get cleaned up. After the bath, Emilio turned around as Quinn was helped out of the bathroom and struggled to get his briefs on and his packing penis into the right place before he told Emilio he could turn around. The older man helped Quinn get the khaki coloured cargo shorts on and socks on his feet. Quinn looked in the bag and saw his binder. "I guess I don't need this anymore," he remarked as he pushed it aside and waited as Dr. Lopez put new dressings on Quinn's chest.

"Not for now, but maybe for a bit after these dressings get removed," he remarked. "For now though, you're all good with just your bandages. Plus it would hurt pretty bad with the stitches." Emilio helped Quinn put on a surgical shirt to hold the dressings onto him and then handed him the teal t-shirt. Quinn pulled it on and ran his hand over his flat chest with a smile. "It's cold you might want a jacket, Son." Emilio remarked as he held open an old track jacket from his undergrad university.

"Thanks," Quinn said as he pulled the black jacket on and grabbed his baseball cap and pulled it over his messed up hair. "I need to get my hair fixed."

"I'm sure San will take you," he said as he got everything he needed and helped Quinn back into the chair. "Speaking of, she doesn't know you're coming home today and her cellphones off because she's at practice... do you feel up to going to see her and having her drive you home? She's got your car today."

"Are you kidding?" Quinn smiled, "Of course."

* * *

><p>Emilio helped Quinn out of his wife's SUV, helping him up on his crutches and watching as the teen carefully moved down the paved path towards the bleachers. The older couple got back in the car when he finally got to the structure and seated.<p>

It took a lot of effort for him to hoist himself up into the stands and he was tired by the time he got his leg propped up on the bench in front of him. His eyes scanned the field and he smiled when he saw his former squad running formations in the centre of the football field with Santana at the helm. He rested back and worked on catching his breath as he watched his girlfriend do his former job with a lot more ease then he ever did.

Santana was barking orders and pushing the girls harder than they'd been pushed under her and Quinn's co-reign as captains. She was determined to make something good come out of what happened and make Quinn proud of her and to her mind, pushing the squad to a new Nationals title seemed to be the best way. The fact that working so hard distracted her from the fact she wasn't able to go see Quinn until after practice was over was a bonus.

Sue's whistle cut across the field, ending the practice with a bellowed "Get off my field, sloppy babies!" and a blast from her air horn. Half of the squad collapsed and the other half only barely managed to stay standing. "Hey, who's that?" was the first gasped comment as someone noticed Quinn sitting in the bleachers. "He's cute!"

Santana turned slowly, ready to yell at whoever had the idiotic gall to spy on their practice when she realized just who it was in the bleachers. A bright smile wreathed her face as she looked up at him, shaking her head in happy shock. "That's my boyfriend!" she cried happily, ignoring Brittany's angry scowl and the muttered "I thought she was a lesbian?" behind her.

She all but threw herself up the bleachers on tired legs to fling her arms around Quinn and kiss him hard. "You're out!" she laughed, her knees going on either side of his hips, being careful not to jar his knee.

"Hey, baby," Quinn said into Santana's ear, "I think I like watching you cheer a lot more than ordering you around." He tugged her closer and pulled her into a deep kiss. "I got out and I thought I'd come surprise you."

"I'm surprised," Santana smiled happily, dropping kisses along his neck. "You're coming home with me, right?" Her voice dropped lower, sounding husky as she nibbled on his neck, "I really want you in my bed tonight."

"Yes, I'm out of the hospital for good and I get to come home with you," he smiled and slid his hands up her back under her uniform top. "Do you need to go to the locker room? Or are you good?" He asked before looked over her shoulder and seeing Brittany at the edge of the bleachers. "Brittany is watching." He whispered.

"Ugh," she hissed, resting her head on his shoulder, "I'm getting so sick of her. Why can't she just realize that I'm over her and with you now? I don't know what she fucking wants from me."

"I know," he groaned, looking around her lover to the other blonde as she came up the bleachers towards them. "Can I help you?" he grumbled looking at her former friend. "I'm having a moment with Santana."

"No, um, I just wanted -" Brittany began, her eyes narrowed ominously as she tried to get a good look at his features around Santana only to be cut off by Santana sitting up right and glaring at Brittany.

"Look, Britt, I don't know what the hell you want, but I'm not interested. So go back to your squad and do whatever but leave me and my boyfriend _alone_!" Santana snapped.

"Don't be mean," Quinn chastised, his hands slid up Santana's thighs and he pressed a kiss to her neck. "Let's just go home okay?"

Santana shivered, letting Quinn calm her down with his touch. "Yeah," she breathed, nuzzling his neck. "I want you in my bed."

Brittany glared, "You're supposed to be _my_ friend, San. You're supposed to hang out with _me_, but instead you go off right after practice all the time and we haven't hung out in _weeks_!"

"Jesus, Brittany, what the hell is wrong with you? I _told_ you Quinn was in the hospital! Don't you understand that that's a lot more important than hanging out with my _ex_ who fucking dumped me to go back to the goddamn crippled tool who she screwed me over for the _last_ time?" Santana snapped at her, angry at the girl for continuing to push at her, "I've got _better_ things to do than cater to your fucking delicate sensibilities now that I've got someone who actually cares about _me_ so go fuck your crippled boyfriend and have cripple babies and _leave me alone_!"

Brittany's lip jutted out and she started crying. Her leg swung up and kicked Quinn's crutches, "Your boyfriend's a cripple too! And he's stupid!" She screamed before running off. Quinn just rolled his eyes and smoothed his hands down Santana's body.

"Don't worry about her, baby," Quinn whispered as he tried to calm the girl down. "Let's get out of here."

Santana trembled as she let herself rest in Quinn's embrace. "She just makes me so _mad_ sometimes," she whispered into his neck. "She doesn't want me but she doesn't want me to be happy. Can we just go home? I want you alone please."

"I know, but, baby, you gotta get off me so we can go. You can straddle me all you want when we get to your place." He smiled softly as he pinched her ass. "Off, baby girl."

"Hey!" Santana yelped, jumping off and rubbing abused ass with a smirk, "Damn, I've missed you. Now get up so I can be taking you home and having my way with you like I've been wanting to for the last few weeks." She held out a hand to help Quinn up. "We can stop for Breadstix on the way."

Quinn got up, leaning on her for support as he snatched his kicked crutches. "Lets go, baby," he said as he followed her to her car.

* * *

><p>After a quick lunch at Breadstix and a purse full of tasty ﾑsticks for Santana to consume in the coming days they got back to the Lopez house. Quinn sat on his butt and inched up the stairs backwards on his own rather than depend on Santana more than he had to, though he did let her bring his crutches up. He got to his feet with the girl's help and he looked at the two bedrooms across from each other. "Do you wanna go in your room?" He asked as he looked sadly at the room across from hers with a makeshift hospital set up. "I really don't wanna go in there."<p>

"Yes," Santana whispered, walking backwards with her hands on Quinn's hips, partially to help support him, but mostly just to touch him. "I think it's been too long since you've been in my bed, handsome. Do you want me?" she teased softly with a wink.

"Yes, I want you," he whispered as he stood with her. He leaned close and kissed her. "I want you in my arms, I want your lips on mine, and I want your body."

"Good," she whispered, her lips brushing his as she spoke, backing them into her room and helping him to lie down on her bed, "because I want you too."

She carefully helped him take off his clothes, being careful with his injury. When she finally got everything but his surgical shirt and knee brace off, she moved back off the bed with a smile and got his strap-on out of her dresser. Coming back to the bed, she carefully hooked the harness onto his body, fingers brushing over the erection now sprouting from her hips.

"There," she smiled up at Quinn, "now you're all here with me."

He smiled and ran his hand over his dick. "Come here," he said as he held her hips and tugged the zipper on her skirt down. "Not as smooth as I'd like to be," he said softly as he tried to undress her. "This is hard." He pouted as he realized at his angle he couldn't get her clothing off.

She smiled at him, gently taking his hands off of her. "How about this time," she smirked, stepping back until she was sure he could see all of her, "I do it for you?" She tugged the zipper up on her shell and pulled it off over her head, tossing it aside before grabbing the hem of her sports bra and pulling it off, freeing her breasts to his gaze. "I just want you to lay back and relax, Q."

"Do I get to touch at all? Because I really, _really_ enjoy the touching." He smiled as he let his eyes rake over the beautiful girl standing before him. "You're stunning, Santana."

"Oh, you'll get to touch," Santana chuckled, slipping her skirt offs as she toed off her shoes and socks. Her thumbs hooked into her panties and spankies and pulled them down, showing off her carefully groomed body and bare core. "I'm yours, Quinn. You're the only one I want, okay?" She crawled on the bed beside him to kiss him softly. "So stop worrying about all that crap about me not wanting you because you're a guy. I want you."

He reaches forward and kisses her with promise. His lips trying to convey everything he needed her to know and everything he felt as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. He kissed her for awhile like that before his hand crept up and glided down her arm and across her back. He stroked her smooth skin and kissed her deeper, "I want you, too."

Santana pulled away with a smile, "I want to make you feel good." She kissed down his body, moving to kiss his bare thighs, running her hands over the stubble covering his legs. Smirking up at him, she grasped his erection at the base and dragged her tongue along the bottom of it, watching him.

He moaned softly. "San... wait a sec." He said softly, reaching one of his hands between his legs and acquiring as much of his essence as he could in a short moment he could stand to touch that part of himself and rubbing it on the phallus. He hated touching that part of himself, but he knew it was something that Santana wanted - to _taste_ him. He pulled his hand away once the cock was as slicked with his juices as he could get it. "Okay..."

"Quinn," Santana breathed, dragging her eyes up from her lover's glistening phallus to his eyes. "Are you sure?"

He nodded, "Please, see how much I need you?" He indicated, not sure if he meant his faux erection or the amount of arousal his biological anatomy produced.

Santana's eyes shone suspiciously as she smiled up at him. She'd never really thought she'd feel as strongly as she did in that moment, but the words to express how she felt caught in her throat and she could just duck her head with a shy smile. She slipped her tongue out and carefully licked some of the arousal from his member, moaning softly in the back of her throat at being able to taste her lover for the first time. "Oh God, you taste good, Quinn," she whispered before taking his head into her mouth and sucking his fluids off of his cock, trying to taste as much as she could.

He whimpered, his body trying to move with her but the pain from his injuries keeping him mostly still. He watched her hungrily lick and suck the taste off and he wished he could give her more. "Tell... tell me if... if it starts tasting bad again," he whispered as he slipped his hand down to cup her breast as best he could.

"You can't taste bad," Santana murmured as she pulled away with a dazedly pleased expression at getting to taste him, a trail of saliva connecting them for a moment, "but, if it's okay, I'd really like to feel you in me..."

"Y-yeah," he exhaled, his hand coming off her breast and talking her hand. He helped her climb onto him and he slipped his hand up and cupped her core. "Mmm, I love when your wet," he moaned, his thumb brushing against her clit.

"Oh God," she moaned, reaching between them to press his fingers into her wetness, coating his fingers, "all for you." She slid his coated fingers down to his cock, encouraging him to stroke himself and lube his dick with her essence. "I want you to guide into me," she whispered, hovering over him so his head just brushed between her swollen folds, her arousal dripping down his member.

"Fuck," he groaned, his hand moving the shaft so it ran the length of her cunt. He popped the tip of his head into her entrance on one pass, only to quickly remove it and stroke more. He finally guided himself into her slowly. "So tight," he remarked as his hand came to his mouth so he could lick his fingers.

"You're," her breath caught in her throat as she felt her body stretching to accommodate him, "you're just that big." She panted watching him lick her essence off his fingers. "God, I love watching you do that," she whimpered, slowly rolling her hips to slide him fully into her until her body settled firmly against his, his member fully sheathed in her core.

"I love that you can take it all," he moaned as his hands moved down to her ass. "I can't do as much as I would like... or you know anything at all." He sighed, "but, I promise to make you come."

"Quinn, stop worrying about pleasing me and just let me be with you," Santana chided gently, beginning to move on top of him, his member sliding in and out of her. "Let me try something?" she asked with a shaky voice, reaching for his hands and tangling their fingers together before pushing them down to the bed over his head. She had to lean forward to do so, bringing her breasts down within reach of his mouth and the shift in position pushing his member in at an angle that made her shudder with each roll of her hips and press the base of his member against his clit. "Is this okay?"

He groaned unattractively as the base hit his clit. His eyes flickered up to see her and note now beautiful she looked and he focused on that instead of the confusion about his pleasure. He licked the presented tip of her breast and tried to rock his hips into her when he pulled her nipple between his lips despite the way it made his healing ribs ache.

She moaned at the stimulation of her body as she moved against Quinn. "God, you feel good in me," she whispered, her voice deep and husky with want, "do you feel the same? Do you feel good when we're together like this?" She didn't know, but she hoped she could make him feel as good as he made her feel.

He pulled away. "Yes," he gasped out his answer, "you make me feel amazing. I like being like this with you," he whispered against her flesh. "Tasting you, and feeling your body shudder."

"Okay," Santana whispered, slowly beginning to move faster, riding Quinn and stroking her entire body up along his. She moaned softly, her breath coming faster and faster as Quinn's mouth and cock took her higher and higher, a slight shift pressing the base of his member against her clit and making her cry out softly with each thrust.

"You're so beautiful riding me," he whimpered, his clit throbbing with unfamiliar stimulation. "God," he groaned as he bit her breast roughly, "I want you to come, I wanna feel you squeeze my dick."

"I wish you could feel me," she whimpered, riding him faster, trying hard to keep her weight off him. "I wish you could... I'm so close, Q... S-so c-_close_..."

"I can... just I can." He whispered his mind causing his clit to pulse and his fantasy of his dick being strangled by her pussy being played out in his head. He sucked at her nipple again, nipping it every few moments.

"God, Quinn, I," she gasped, her orgasm washing over her and pushing the words _I love you_ into the back of her throat again as her body arched and spasmed against her lover. She keened softly and panted as her body finally released her from her climax to slump down on her arms and knees on either side of Quinn, still trying to keep from hurting him even as lost in her body's rush of sensation.

Quinn groaned as his body buzzed with the pain seeping through his medicated and arousal driven high. He wrapped his arms around her despite the groan of protest his chest gave at the feel of pulling skin and tightening muscles. His body was still humming with pleasure, Santana's muscles pressing the base of his cock tauntingly into his clit and making him squirm. He hated falling over into orgasm. It wasn't natural for him and he still didn't know how to make one come about after. He wanted to feel pleasure but the self hatred that came along with the feeling was almost too much sometimes.

He nuzzled into her neck, his fingers stroking her back as he fought to catch her breath. "So beautiful," he murmured.

She nipped at his ear, shivering at the feeling of still being filled by his still stiff member. "Can you come for me?" she whispered almost pleadingly. "I know it's not the same... but can you?" She shifted her hips to rub his member against him, moaning softly as his member bumped and rubbed against her g-spot in the process. "I... I want to give you release, Q. I want to know I can do that for you... that it's not just about me..."

His eyes rolled back in his head. "B-baby," he whimpered, his breath coming in laboured pants. He hated that he had somehow convoluted his emotions into feeling like orgasming was a _bad thing_. He bit his lip and watched her, knowing how much Santana wanted him to be able to feel her giving him pleasure.

Santana groaned, rocking against him, her arousal slicking down his cock and coating their thighs. "God, I love seeing you like this," she moaned, fingers tangling with his where she had his hands still pinned above his head. Her eyes were dark with emotion and locked with his as she moved above him. "I want you to come for me, babe. I wish you could shoot your hot load deep in me, but I really _really_ wanna see you release. Just lose yourself for me," she panted, riding him faster, the sounds of their connection filling the room, "it's the best gift you could give me right now..."

He arched up under her, his eyes fluttering away as he tried to figure out how to find his release. He furrowed his brow, trying to focus hard on getting his body to do what she wanted.

"Quinn," she whispered, flattening down until she was almost pressing into his body, her breasts just brushing his chest, the curtain of her dark hair falling down around their faces, "relax. It's just me. Just tell me when you feel good, okay?" She rocked against him, "It's okay if you can't right now. You did kinda turn yourself into the last action hero not too long ago," she smirked, leaning in to kiss him.

He whimpered his body on the edge of something. "I... I can." He arched up, trying to pull free of her grip as he shuddered, his body finally giving into tiny tremors of a little orgasm. He moaned almost breathlessly as he slumped into the bed. He clung onto her as he breathed through his swell with his head pressed against hers and their hands conjoined.

Santana's own second orgasm washed over her shortly after and she carefully slid off of him with a tiny whimper to cuddle into his side so she wouldn't accidentally hurt him. "You're amazing," she whispered, brushing her hand gently over his chest and abdomen, stopping just above where his dick still rode high on his hips, glistening with her arousal. "Don't get hurt anymore, okay? Stay with me..."

"Unless my dad comes back to finish the job..." He whispered, "I don't plan on getting hurt again." He sighed and pressed a kiss to her temple.

Santana nodded and reached down to drag her comforter up over them and resting her head carefully on Quinn's shoulder. "Let's just stay like this okay?" She looked down as she snuggled, seeing Quinn's boner tenting the comforter up at their waist, "Actually... maybe we should um... do something about that first. That's not really a conversation I want to have with my mom and dad, you know?"

"They're not gonna have an issue with me naked in your bed?" He laughed as he unhooked his hard on from this harness. "I can put the other one on or go without if you want. Also... do you have like a tissue or something?" He asked as he held the dick.

"If it wouldn't be seriously weird, I'd suggest you lick it off," she teased, reaching over and grabbing a couple of tissues from the box by her bed and handing them to him. "And if you're worried," she got up, walking to his clothes nude with her thighs and core still glistening with her arousal to bend over and pick up his soft packer, kissing it before handing it to him with a wink, "I'm sure I could find you something to wear. Some sweats maybe?" She suggested, heading over to her closet to pull out a pair of shorts and a tank top.

"I mean or just my boxers." He said softly as he took the tissues and wiped the extreme wetness that seeped out of his core up. He made sure he was dry before reaching for his flaccid cock. He didn't notice Santana watching him clean himself up though.

"I know you're not cool with it, but I wish I could help with stuff like that," she whispered softly, pulling on a pair of shorts and a tank top before bringing his boxers and a pair of her Cheerios sweats over to the bed. "I kinda like seeing it though," she smiled wistfully handing the clothes over before climbing back into the bed to help her lover dress. "So, maybe it's kinda stupid but it makes me feel good to know I affect you, you know, like that."

"It's gross," he said as he finished cleaning his core and tossed the tissues in the trash. "I read somewhere that that thing..." he pointed to his clit that was peaking out from under a patch of light brown fuzz covering his core. "can grow pretty big..." He said as he looked at it, imagining it bigger. "Like a little dick," he said with a smile as he worked on hooking his packing cock into the harness.

"Yeah, like I guess so. I mean, if regular guys can use pumps and stuff to get bigger, I'd guess gir... erm, I mean, people like you could too." She ducked her head, focusing on helping him get dressed instead of trying to apologize for her accidental almost calling him a girl. "You want something like that?"

"No... I just," he sighed, putting his false cock to cover his folds. He pulled his boxers to cover him and then helped San with the pants and rolled it up to his thigh so his leg could fit with brace. "If it grows it could be cool... If it didn't... look like it does now maybe it would be better."

Being told that turning her lover on was gross still stung slightly but Santana just cuddled in against his side and pulled the covers over them. "Yeah, maybe. I guess. I just want you to be like happy and stuff, Q."

"I'm just not happy with that part of my body... you know? I just doesn't feel right to me." He sighed and held her and kissed her head.

"I know," she shrugged, resting her head on his shoulder and her arm carefully across his stomach, "I just... I know I'm really like _out there_ with sex and stuff, but I'm not really as confident as I like to act, you know? I like knowing I make you happy even if... that part isn't really part of it."

"You're not out there, baby," he said softly. "You make me happier than I ever thought was possible okay?" he whispered cuddling into her and the blanket. "Being with you like we just were... or laying with you like we are right now. That makes me happy. That makes everything that happened to me worth it, okay?" He tangled their fingers together, "You're worth it."

"I hope so," Santana sighed softly, warm and safe feeling in Quinn's arms. "I like you here with me like this," she admitted, yawning softly. "Can I sneak in with you when you gotta sleep in your bed for your leg and stuff?"

"I'm broken and your parents still like me so... hopefully they can deal with us napping together." Quinn sighed, "You know... it's probably easier letting a boy in your room when they can't knock you up."

"I'm sure you don't mind trying though," Santana teased, kissing the corner of his jaw. "But I'm not that worried about my parents. I don't think they'd really freak unless they walked in with you fucking me from behind giving them a full crotch shot of your dick sliding in and out of my junk. So, no explicit and obvious we're fucking and I think we're okay. I just was," she shrugged, "I don't know. I wanted to make sure it was okay with _you_."

"I sleep better when you're with me," he said simply. "I won't sleep if I'm alone... At least I couldn't when I was at the hospital. I was scared I'd wake up and he'd be there watching me or something... I doubt he'd break into your house or even know where I was at this point," he rambled, his mind going elsewhere.

"Okay. Shh, Q. It's cool," she hugged him gently. "I'll be your badass teddy, okay?" She smirked, "Might even dress the part some time." She winked at him before snuggling close. "Let's just nap now though, babe. Okay? I wants to get my sleep on with my man before dinner."

"Mmm. I could like dressing you up, if I get to undress you after." He smiled and closed his eyes with his arms around her. He smiled when he heard her call him her man and kissed her temple. "I'll wake you up with kisses," he mumbled softly, already falling asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

That weekend found Santana and Quinn in Emilio's Escalade heading out for some much needed one-on-one out-of-the-house time. Santana drove carefully, but she couldn't help sneaking little smirks to her boyfriend for letting him take her out, even if the wheelchair in the back of the SUV would probably be needed when they hit the thrift store to get him some _real_ clothes. Much as she hated what Russell had done to Quinn, she enjoyed having the chance to _finally_ go out with him. Before Russell's explosion, they'd had to sneak around and only be together at the gay club in West Lima or Santana's house.

Santana pulled into the barbershop and hopped out, hurrying over to help Quinn out of the car with his knee brace. "Time to get you looking sexy, babe," she teased, helping him in by letting him keep his arm around her shoulders instead of relying on a cane. "Hi, Jules!" She waved at the skinny bald man behind the counter. "This is Quinn. The silly lunkhead tried cutting his own hair and just made a mess of it. Think you can save it?"

Jules came out and inspected Quinn's hair before gesturing him towards the chair in the center of the small shop. "Come take a seat, my friend, and let's repair this woeful damage to your pretty hair, shall we?"

Quinn hobbled over to the chair and put his crutches down. "Yeah, I'm kinda a dumbass." He shrug with a bit of a more gruff tone to his voice. "Can you make me look like not a hobo?"

"Don't worry. I will make you look like a sexy man again, my friend," Jules smiled at Quinn via the mirror, patting the top of his head. "Your lady will not be ashamed to be seen with you after I work my magic." The man pulled a black comb out of the jar of blue solution and tapped it free of excess liquid before starting to comb Quinn's hair out. "I am thinking layers for you. Perhaps like they call a surfer style? It will be easier to achieve until your hair grows back out enough to give you a proper style."

Santana perched on a stool, crossing her legs at the knee with a smirk at her boyfriend as her skirt rode up slightly. "I'm already not ashamed of being seen _with_ him, Jules. But he needs to look hot enough out on his own to be my boyfriend."

Jules chuckled. "Always demanding, Ms. Santana. But I do my job very well as you and your luscious locks know from experience."

"You mean her weave," Quinn smiled as he shot a grin to his lover, "Your hair is beautiful baby, I'm just kidding don't glare at me."

"Whateves," Santana snorted, tossing her hair, "Jules works magic with my hair and keeps it amazing so just sit back and trust the man, Q."

"I do." Quinn smiled and sat back, his shoulders relaxing a bit as he watched is hair being styled. He ran his hand over his shorts and scratched at the rough feeling of hair growing on his legs.

"So, how'd you hurt your knee?" He asked as he worked on the blonde's hair, "Football?" Quinn rolled his eyes when he saw Santana stifle a laugh.

"Nah." he said, "Track, I'm way to small to be in football, man. I like to stay alive," he said already making sure his lie would fit his injury. "I missed a hurtle.."

"Ouch." Jules winced, "Well, hopefully a new haircut will make you feel good as new." He snipped some more and stopped, "Do you want a root touch up or are you trying to grow out the blonde?" Quinn blushed as he looked down, "Don't be embarrassed! It looks good on you!"

"Nah, I think let it grow out. I tried it and kinda wanna new thing..." Quinn looked over at Santana, "What do you think? Ditch the blond?"

"Babe, you'd look hot light or dark," Santana smirked, leaning back on the counter and watching Jules work his hair. "Right now, you just look tasty. No more smashing through hurtles instead of over them or trying to cut your own hair though."

"Yeah yeah," he said as he closed his eyes and breathed. After awhile longer Jules brushed the hair off Quinn's neck and styled his hair.

"Alright, Ms. Santana," Jules smiled, patting Quinn on the shoulders. "What do you think? Good enough?" He asked as he styled Quinn's hair a bit more before pulling away.

Santana looked Quinn over appraisingly, "Mmm, I like it." She hopped off the stool and sauntered over to her boyfriend, picking up a hand mirror and handing it to him. "What do you think, babe? I think you look like a sexy shaggy puppy. Can't wait to run my hands through it."

"Please tell me I don't look like Beiber..." He said as he ran his fingers through his newly cropped hair. "I like it though." He smiled happy to finally be looking more male than before. He looked up to his girlfriend with a shy smile. "...Right?"

"Babe, you look like a man, not a little boy," Santana reassured him, stepping into his space and sliding her fingers into the shorter locks to comb them back before leaning in to kiss him possessively. "_My_ man," she breathed as she leaned back when Jules cleared his throat pointedly.

"Alright, my friend, if you are in agreement that I am magical, then allow me to offer you a hot shave and towel. I find many of my gentleman clients enjoy the treatment and not many of the younger generation have learned of this pleasure." He gestured to the straight razor and shaving cream jar on the table, "I assure you it is not a service offered to boys, my friend."

Quinn looked at his girlfriend's eyes, scared to take something that he wasn't really allowed to take. "Um... There's not really much there to work with..." He said nervously, thinking that if he was even passing he wouldn't if Jules shaved his face.

"That is not the point, my friend," Jules explained busily readying the hot towels and equipment he needed for the shave at Santana's nod as she settled back onto her stool, "It is about the process of relaxing and making your face the place of wonderfully smelling smoothness that your lady need not fear the scritching scratch of stray hairs." He cranked the chair up higher and leaned the seat back before pulling a hot towel from the steamer and wafting it over Quinn's face before draping the warm, moist heat over his skin. "Now just relax, my friend, and allow me to show you the wonders of a good shave."

Quinn nodded nervously, he tried to not be tense. A voice in his head screamed the words that his dad said rattled around in his head. He tried to breathe the scents of the towels and tried to not think about all the bad feelings in his head.

"Hey, baby," Santana called out, softly scooting her chair closer so she could pry one of Quinn's tense hands off the arm of the chair and let her hold it, "you looking forward to shopping after this? I don't know where you got some of these clothes of yours, but I want my man looking hot."

"Oh oh, my friend, it sounds as though your lady has laid her claim upon you!" Jules chuckled, pulling the towel off after it started cooling down and beginning to massage the slightly spicy smelling shave soap into Quinn's cheeks and lower jaw. "You are going to love this feel and come back to my shop for this every time you have a special date with your lady. Just you wait and see, my friend."

"Yeah, she's been dragging me around with her since I can't get away on my own." He joked softly, "But, it does smell really good."

"That is the nature of the shave, my friend. Hold still now, there may be a little tugging, but if you trust me and remain still, I can promise you no harm." Jules reassured, picking up his razor and stropping it quickly on the leather strap hanging from the chair. "Especially not with your lady glaring at me so ferociously protective of her man. You are like a lioness, Ms Santana. I promise he'll be unharmed."

Jules worked not quickly but carefully. Long, smooth strokes of his razor taking off strips of lather and leaving pink skin in its wake. With each stroke, he wiped off the mixture of fine hairs and lather upon the skirt of his apron, carefully removing the light peach fuzz that had covered Quinn's cheeks and jaw and leaving behind a slightly sharper outline. Once he'd removed the vast majority of the lather with his blade, he selected another hot towel and carefully removed the remaining lather and stray fragments of hair that had slipped from the razor after being cut. Once he'd cleaned away the excess, he selected a bottle and poured a daub of gel into the palm of his hands before rubbing them together and working the crisp, spicy scented balm into the shaved area of Quinn's face. Once he'd finished, he cranked the chair back upright and turned Quinn to face the mirror.

"There now, my friend. Do you not feel like a new man?"

Quinn smiled as he brought his hand to his face and felt the skin. "Yeah." He smiled before bringing Santana's hand up and letting her stroke his skin. "Feels good right, baby?" he beamed as he looked at her. "Thanks, Jules, I don't know what I was worried about."

"You were a silly boy who did not know how nice a good shave is, but now you are a man," Jules chuckled, whipping the cover off of Quinn and dusting away the stray bits of hair before plucking Santana's credit card from between her fingers and going to ring him up at the counter.

"Mmm," Santana hummed happily, leaning in and nuzzling his neck, "you smell really good now, baby. Can you wear this smell all the time?" she asked with a smirk as she helped him back to his feet and got him up on his crutches again. "I'm really wet smelling this spicy new you, you know," she breathed in his ear as she held his crutch so he could adjust his weight on it.

Quinn rolled his eyes and kissed her soundly, "I'm pretty sure you're wet about eighty-eight percent of the time, baby." He smiled and settled himself on his crutches. "But, more scientific research needs to be done on those matters."

"Mmm, this scientific research is going to involve you in clothes that make you look like my hot ass boyfriend should," Santana murmured with a wink, walking over and signing off on the credit slip for Quinn's cut and shave before waving at Jules and promising to see him next week for her treatment as the man disappeared into the back.

Stepping to Quinn again she moved to help him out to the car once more. "I'm thinking something with a tie. I rather like the idea of being able to tug you around in public," she teased.

"You'd like me being your bitch," He raised his eyebrow as he followed her, "Which ain't gonna happen. I'm the man in this relationship..." He smirked and thought for a moment, "But hey, if you wanna use that tie thing in the bedroom? I'm down."

Santana backed out of the shop and opened the car up to help him in. "Oh, so you'd like me to tie you up and have my way with you some time, hmm, handsome?"

"Maybe." He smirked, "I just like seeing you naked and writhing. " He said softly as he situated himself and looked in the mirror. "I look good right? Like a dude? You... you're not uncomfortable being in public with me?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Quinn, if I wasn't comfortable out with you, we wouldn't _be_ out right now. You look good. I don't bullshit about that sort of thing. Now we're gonna get you some threads to make you look even better, so chill, okay?"

"Okay." He said as he looked out the window. "The cops called this morning..." He distantly after a little while, "Your dad talked to them while you were sleeping and I was reading the paper..."

Santana glanced at him then reached over and took his hand as she directed the SUV down the road towards her favorite thrift shop. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"They still can't find my dad... or my mom." He said softly, "I mean... my mom can get away and hide with people she knew before... but he... I don't _know_ where he'd go." He swollowed, "If he went anywhere."

"He can't get you, Q. You're with us now. You're my boyfriend. That's it, end of story." She looked determined, "He tries and I'll end him. And if he even _thinks_ of touching me, mi Papi will end him."

Quinn's head snapped to look at Santana. "I'd never let him or anyone else touch you." He growled, "I'd kill him first."

Santana smirked, "There's my badass boyfriend." She squeezed his hand as she pulled into the lot of the thrift store. "Come on, handsome. We're here. Let's suit you up."

He nodded, groaning slightly as he got out of the car. He wasn't really suppose to be moving so much but he only had one pair of jeans, two pairs of shorts and a package of white t-shirts that kept getting stained with blood and gunk from when his chest seeped through his dressings while he slept.

"Cool," he muttered once out of the SUV and heading inside to the first rack of guy's shorts and jeans, thumbing through sizes that were mostly way too big.

Santana rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's stubbornness and got the wheelchair out of the back and pushed it in to find him. "Babe, sit down and get off your leg. Who are you looking for clothes for anyway? Finnocence?"

He glared at her, but settled into the chair she was pushing. "What? And it's not my fault all the dudes in this town are fucking giants," he growled, taking the items Santana started picked out for him. "I don't wanna look gay, San." He said when he saw her pick up men's skinny jeans.

Santana just looked down her nose at him and picked a pair of grey stone washed jeans with tears at the knees, tossing them onto his lap before pushing him towards the dressing rooms. "Seriously, Quinn. You've been taking fashion tips from two gay boys and you think your _girl_friend is going to make you look gay. Me. Do I _look_ like Kurt?"

"No.. you have boobs," he said as he took the items. "Anything else I need to try on?" He asked as he held his armful of items.

"Me?" she teased, before shaking her head. "If I find something good, I'll let you know unless you need some help with all that?" She winked at him, "Honestly, you'll only be able to try on the cargo shorts as far as pants go, but you should be good with the shirts."

"I mean, I know my size and I trust you..." He shrugged not really wanting to jostle his leg too much. "I doubt I need to try on anything."

"Humor me and try the shirts?" Santana asked, pushing him into the dressing room. "I know your size too and maybe your girlfriend wants to find you something cool."

"Fine, woman." He smiled and closed the door and carefully went about trying on everything he could.

As soon as he was in the room, Santana made her way to a rack of suits, carefully flicking through until she found just what she was looking for. A black classic smoking jacket style suit that would go amazingly with a white tab-less dress shirt she could acquire nearly anywhere. She smirked as she noticed the missing buttons and torn liner. The seventy dollar price just dropped to thirty if they were lucky. Twenty if she was.

Glancing towards the dressing room again, she moved to fumble through a display of silk ties until she found a nice selection of nearly six solid and tastefully patterned skinny silk ties. They'd have to be shortened, but they'd look good on him. She almost headed back to the dressing room when she noticed a pair of belts that would really look good around his trim waist and a particular hat. Balancing the brushed silk fedora on her head, she got back to the dressing room with her bounty just as Quinn was opening the door.

"So?" She smirked, "Think you could use some of this?"

His eyes raked her over as he leaned against the wall. He was in one of the button down shirts and is shorts. "I like the hat on you." He smiled, "Why do I need a suit?" he asked as he looked at the fabric in her arms.

"All guys need a suit," she smirked, holding it up to him an deciding it would work after some tailoring. "And this one is classic and good quality. All it's missing is some buttons and then some minor tailoring and you will be James Bond hot, babe."

"If you think so." He shrugged and folded the stuff he wanted to buy on his chair. He pulled her inside the cubicle so he could take off his button down and put his t-shirt and hoodie back on. "I like this stuff... it makes me feel good you know?" he took off the shirt and folded it before checking his stitches were still covered.

"That's why we're here, Q. To make you feel good about you and stop stress so much about not being good enough for me or whatever stupid crap you've been thinking. It's stressing me out with you doubting everything all the time and I just want you happy for once, okay?" She leaned in and kissed him softly, "Now can we just buy you your sexy new threads so I can take you to dinner? I wanna tell the waiter how you protected me from a mugger," she whispered, leaning against him slightly with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, "I bet it would get you so many points with the staff and bonus is if it ever happened, I have no doubt you would. Now into the chair, hero. I'm on a mission to spend Papi's money on my sexy boyfriend!"

Quinn laughed softly, picking up the pile of clothes and putting them on his lap. "I have some money, your dad's already doing enough for me." he protested, trying to get his wallet out of his pocket.

"Save it," Santana smirked, pushing him over to the counter. "This is maybe eighty bucks tops after I'm done and you should save your money for something more fun. Besides," she leaned down and kissed the corner of his jaw, "maybe I like pampering my wounded boyfriend."

"I'm a kept man." He rolled his eyes and reached out for her hand. "But I'm buying you dinner, no arguments."

"I _did_ say keep your money for something fun, didn't I?" Santana teased, coming back after paying for the items with a pleased smirk. "And what could be more fun then taking me out to dinner, hmm?" She pushed him out to the SUV and helped him in before folding the wheelchair back up and shoving it in the back. "By the way," she smiled at him, hopping into the driver's seat and pulling the hat off her head before dropping it onto his newly shaggy locks, "I'm thinking we could have some fun with those ties, don't you?"

"Sex addict." He smiled and climbed in the car. "But yeah I think we could." He smiled before popping a painkiller and swallowing it.

"Please," Santana snorted, "if I were an _addict_, I'd drain you dry. Now come on, time to gets our Breadstix on."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

After Santana had to leave on Monday for an early morning Cheerios practice, Maria was bustling around the house getting ready to head to Spencerville to open her family's restaurant for the lunch rush. When she noticed Quinn moping about in his room as she passed by again, she paused and backtracked, poking her head in with a friendly smile. Maybe she wasn't entirely certain how to feel about her daughter's girlfriend really being her _boy_friend and living in their house on top of it, but there was something about the quiet, sad teen that plucked at her heart strings and made her want to take care of him.

"Hey, Quinn," she called out, her voice still faintly tinged with her mother's native Spanish and her father's Chicago dialect, "how do you feel about learning some of what your Santana already knows today, sweetheart?" She chuckled softly at his confused expression, "Where do you think she spends her summer, _mijo_? It's up to you, but I don't know how much fun you'll have sulking around here by yourself today."

"I... I don't wanna stay by myself," he admitted softly. "Are you sure? I won't get in the way?"

"Not at all. In fact," Maria chuckled, heading into the bedroom she shared with her husband to find one of his pairs of khaki cargos and tossing them to Quinn when she came back, "I'm of a mind to put you to work. You know about our restaurant, yes?"

He shook his head and quickly undressed in the bathroom. "I don't, ma'am."

"Why that little imp, keeping things from you! My family owns the Mexican restaurant in Spencerville and have for nearly three generations now. Maybe you've heard of it? La Casita Hernandez?" Maria looked for a shirt for him in the hall closet, but didn't have any luck, "We'll have to find you a shirt there, but my Santana has worked there summers and breaks for spending money for most of high school. Those pants should be big enough to slide over your brace I think," she called through the door, "are they?"

He nodded absently and came out of the bathroom with his shirt off and putting the ointment on his stitches. "I never really asked what she did outside cheerleading." Quinn said softly, "not like I was allowed to hang out with her on the weekends or anything." He grabbed the gauze off the table.

"Ah yes, but now you are and perhaps if we can get you up to speed, you would like to work with her this summer?" Maria offered, coming over and helping him rebandage his chest and get his shirt on without stretching the scars too much.

"If... if that's okay. I want to help out, pay you back for like keeping me and whatever." He looked sadly at her and finished pulling his shirt on.

"Sweetheart," Maria shook her head, "you are here because you make our Santana happy and that is something I was beginning to despair of seeing again. And more than that, you are in need of a home and we have one to offer. Perhaps we cannot pay to send you to college as we are doing with Santana, but we can certainly afford to give you a home. If you work at the restaurant," Maria gave him a hug, providing her shoulder for him to lean on after he was dressed so he could get his crutches under him again, "you will do so at the same wage Santana makes doing the same work. And as with Santana, what money you earn after your taxes shall be yours."

"If you are sure, ma'am. If I become a burden, please tell me and I can relocate." He got on his crutches and followed her. "And as for college I'm mostly sure I'm getting a full ride to OSU. I've already been offered the scholarship."

"That's wonderful, Quinn, but please, don't call me ma'am or Ms Lopez," Maria shook her head, heading out to her SUV and opening the passenger door to help Quinn in after loading his wheelchair into the back. "I appreciate the respect you're offering, but my employees all call me Maria and if in the fullness of time you and my Santana become more than simply girlfriend and boyfriend, I would expect you to call me ﾑMom'. And I most certainly am sure. You're not a burden and you not only bring a little more life to the house, but you make my husband and daughter use _English_ more often at home as well. I like it."

Quinn chuckled as he took his pills with water and grabbed his backpack and put it over his shoulders. "I've never had Mexican food, honestly." He looked embarrassed, "My mom cooked always and San and I only have Breadstix." He got in the car with some help. "I think that it must be good," he smiled.

"Well, you are in for a treat then, Quinn," Maria smiled up at him and patted his leg before heading around to the other side of the SUV to get in and buckle up. "Because you'll be having lunch at one of the best Mexican restaurants around Lima, Ohio."

* * *

><p>Quinn hobbled in the door of the restaurant. It was a moderate sized dining room adorned with dark mahogany wood and orange coloured walls with photos of various ages scattered around the walls. Some looked to be of exotic landscapes, skylines of cities and Quinn's eye caught one just over his shoulder that seemed to have a familiar face in it. Hobbling over, he smiled as he reached up to trace his fingers lightly over the glass.<p>

There in the image a toddler Santana beamed up at the camera as she stood in between two older people. _They must be her grandparents_, Quinn thought as he looked at the adorable child version of his lover. He turned back to Maria, as she came in. "This is your family's restaurant?" He asked as he continued looking around. "It's really nice."

"Why, thank you, Quinn," Maria beamed as she pushed his wheelchair into the restaurant. "I like to think we've done a good job. Now, would you sit down so I don't get read the riot act by my husband and your girlfriend when we get home? My Santana said you were stubborn about the chair, but _mi Dios_!"

"I just don't like it," he shrugged, but sat down in the chair with a soft sigh of relief at getting off the crutches. "I thought Santana said your family was from like Chicago and I kinda thought you were more African-American then Hispanic," He asked, mildly confused. Santana had always touted that her mom was black not Hispanic and her dad was the Hispanic one. "Sorry... I'm just kind of confused." He said softly.

"It's okay," Maria smiled, pushing him back into the office and finding him a burgundy polo with the restaurant's logo embroidered on the breast. "My mother's grandfather was from Mexico and he immigrated to the US in the twenties, eventually bringing his entire family to the States, including my mother who was a teen at the time. My father's black and from Chicago and that's where I'm from, but my mother's family has always lived around here since immigrating."

"That's really cool." Quinn smiled, "My mom has a friend who lives in Chicago she used to talk about it a lot." He pulled the shirt over this t-shirt and smoothed it out. "That's really awesome that your great granddad was from Mexico, and Dr. Lopez is from Puerto Rico." He remembered, "Santana is really proud of her heritage and she talks about her Abuela all the time."

"Mmm," Maria nodded sadly, picking up a picture of a sleeping baby Santana in her mother's arms that she liked to keep on her desk and handing it to Quinn, "my mother was a good, strong woman. Much like her namesake."

"She's beautiful." Quinn smiled, "Your mom and San..." He smiled sheepishly, handing the photo back. "So, she was the one you took over the restaurant from? That's really cool, but it must be really busy for you and Mr. Lopez with him working at the hospital and having Santana too... she's kinda a crazy handful." He smiled fondly.

"It's a good kind of busy and I can be free to be with my Santana more than I could working as a lawyer." Maria smiled at the picture before setting it back on the desk. "But never mind that! Today, we shall start you on the register at the take out counter because you cannot get around well, but if you care for the work, you'll eventually learn to do nearly all the tasks of this place, much like Santana."

She took him out of the office, showing him around and giving him a paper copy of the menu, "When you are waiting tables, people will ask about dishes, so I encourage you to try something new every day. Some will not appeal to you, but some you will love. And knowing the dish will allow you to recommend it or not. So, _mijo_, would you like to eat lunch first or meet the rest of today's staff?"

"Lunch would be awesome," he smiled as he looked over the menu. "Are you gonna eat something? Can... Can you eat with me?" he asked nervously, he was scared that people at the restaurant wouldn't accept him. "I'm not gonna like take anyone's job will I?"

"Sure, I'll eat with you. And take anyone's job?" She raised a surprised eyebrow, "By training when it's slow so you'll be prepared for the summer rush? No, sweetheart. I hire quite a few kids to wait tables in the summer and half of them aren't worth the cost of their uniform. I'd rather hire someone reliable. Don't worry so much. Now," she gestured at the menu still in his hands, "tell me what sounds good and I'll show you a little something something in the kitchen, what do you say?"

Quinn looked down at the pretty traditional menu. "Um... Can I try the Arroz con Pollo?" He asked seeing that it was rice and chicken with seasoning and a salad of tomatoes and lime and a slice of avocado. "That sounds really good." He looked up realizing he hadn't eaten since the day before at lunch. He hadn't felt good after his doctor's appointment so he had just gone upstairs and ended up watched a marathon of 'Big Bang Theory' with Santana before falling asleep in her bed.

"Sure, I'll even make it myself," Maria smiled down at Quinn as she pushed him through the swinging doors into the kitchen.

When they got in there, a tiny person with shaggy black hair was tying a white bib apron around his waist and shoving a baseball cap backwards on his head. A skateboard was propped up inside the door leading to the back alley and the Dumpster, wheels still spinning lazily. "Luis," Maria chided, "what have I told you about your board?"

The young man jumped, startled turning to look at Maria in surprise, showing off the scraggly attempt at a mustache sprouting on his upper lip. He was slender and looked shorter than Quinn as he ducked his head and blushed. "I'm sorry, Maria. I just got here and didn't think anyone'd be cooking yet," his voice was a soft tenor, like a more mellow version of Kurt's voice.

"You were right, but the no skateboards in the kitchen rule still applies. By the way, this is Quinn. He may be joining us in the summer so he's learning the ropes now while he can't go to school. Quinn, Luis is primarily our dishwasher and busboy, but when it's slow like today he doubles as our cook, Marcus's assistant."

"Oh?" Luis smirked at Quinn, coming over and holding his hand out, "Hey, dude. I'm Luis. Nasty crash?" He nodded at where Quinn's leg was propped out in front of him.

Quinn shook his hand firmly, "Hey, yeah. Crashed out on my skateboard." He shrugged, "Gonna be a rough summer without hitting the park, but what can you do?" He shrugged as he looked at the boy. "That's pretty banging that Mrs. Lopez has you in the kitchen. I can't even make boxed cake, you must got some game." Quinn smiled at him.

"I wash dishes and chop stuff up right now, but I'll be a cook in here some day. Just you wait," he puffed up his not so impressive chest and grinned.

"Okay, Mr Future Cook, how about you show off your skills and chop up the vegetables for the arroz con pollo. Quinn here wants to give it a try and we need to get it going for tonight." Maria chided, pulling an apron over her head before heading over to the sink and scrubbing her hands.

Luis grinned, "Sure, Maria." Running back into the storage, he soon returned with a clear tote of vegetables and ingredients labeled "Arroz con Pollo" on masking tape on the outside. "But you skate too, Quinn? That's pretty cool. Shame about your leg."

"I mean not very well obviously, but yeah," he said as he wheeled himself to the counter so he could watch. "But, yo, it's good to have idea of what you like to do," Quinn stated. "I wouldn't even know what I wanted to do right now if I tried to think about it," he joked.

"Well, most guys aren't as cool as me," Luis joked, washing and chopping the vegetables into neat pieces. "Maybe when your leg's better we could go chill with our boards sometime. Always cool to meet another skater in a town this small."

"Yeah, for sure," he nodded as he took the bottle of water that Maria offered. "Might be awhile, but totally."

"No rush, man," Luis grinned, putting the vegetables in their prep bowls for Maria and heading back to get another box. "Not like we're ancient or anything, right?"

"Less talking, more chopping, Luis!" Maria called, making Luis smirk and roll his eyes but apply himself a little harder to his work.

"Yeah, totally," Quinn nodded as he quickly sent a text to Santana as Maria busied herself with the cooking.

A response came back soon enough, indicating Santana was either in study hall or spending a lot less attention to class than she should be. _To Q: Hey, babe. School is boring as hell and Sue is seriously nuts. I miss you being here to keep things real with me. What you up to?_

"Whatcha doing?" Luis asked curiously, dicing tomatoes, "Setting up a hot date on a Monday?" He let out a low whistle.

"What have I said about closing your mouth, Luis?" Maria chided from across the room as she checked the heating rice.

_I'm at your mom's resturant. I'm stealing yo job._ He smiled as he typed and looked up.

"Nah, I'm just talking to my girl." Quinn smiled and went about studying the menu. Luis smirked and continued working on the food for the prep.

"That's cool, you got a girl." Luis was almost jealous that the other boy had a girlfriend, "I need a girl."

_Lol you can try. ;) Wants I should come get you after practice lets out since I got your car and all?_

"Luis, you will find a girl once you learn it is better to listen than talk," Maria scolded, pointing a spoon at him. "And besides no girl wants to be treated like an object. You should learn from Quinn. He is quite the gentleman. His girl is lucky to have him," she added with a wink for the wheelchair bound boy.

_If you want. I'm gonna run the take out counter, she's gonna teach me._

"I've been into her for as long as I can remember." Quinn smiled, "She's kinda the best thing that happened to me, you'll find someone," he said as he looked nervously, noticing that he admitted his attraction to Santana was longer than he had admitted.

_Mmm maybe I'll just come by to steal a kiss instead. ;)_

"Oh really?" Maria hummed, amusedly, "You see, Luis? A true gentleman, our Quinn."

Luis smiled wistfully, "Maybe Santana will finally agree to date me. I've wanted _her_ forever."

"Lust isn't love, Luis, and Santana has a beau."

_I'd like that. You left when I was still in my medication coma :(. Luis wants in your pants baby. _

Quinn looked worried for a second. "I.. I think she's happy," He said softly watching Luis look dejected and shrug. He headed in the walk in to grab more stuff then to get working on dishes as Maria finished lunch. "He's gonna not like me now..." Quinn remarked, grabbing silverware and napkins for them both.

"Don't you worry about Luis," Maria reassured him dishing up two small plates of the arroz con pollo. "Santana can handle him. And he'll get over it."

Even as she was heading out of the kitchen back to the staff room to eat, Quinn's phone buzzed with a new text.

_Ugh, no kidding. It's kinda gross. He's like my little brother but he still asks me out. Sweet but not my type if you know what I mean. ;)_

Quinn laughed at the text as he followed Maria.

_Big dicks? I think you like that... and me._

"Thank you, this smells awesome." He said as she sat down and he wheeled up to the table. "So, this is where you are when you're working. San just says work and I pretend I have any idea what she's talking about." He smiled as he took a bite. He groaned and chewed before swallowing and talking. "Oh God, that's good!"

_Mmm...just you I think. After all, if you /really/ wanted, you could be any size. Most guys only have the one option and scary side effects._

"Why thank you, Quinn," Maria smiled helping herself to her own portion. "Santana tends to assume you _do_ know what she's talking about if you don't ask though, I've noticed. So, you've met Luis and his schoolboy crush on my daughter. There's only three others to meet now. Marcus the lead cook and his main assistant, Sandy. And Paul who's our waiter tonight. Gary's the other waiter, but he only comes in on weekends when we're busy."

He nodded and ate a few more bites before pulling out his medication and taking it with water. "Hopefully I won't screw up too hard at take out." He remarked, nervous about making a mistake.

_truth... but shouldn't you be getting ready for nationals? focus and shit? we can talk about my dick anytime._

_Focus? In Schue's Spanish class? Baby, I could teach it._

"Don't worry, Quinn. That's why we call it training." Maria smiled at him, reaching over to pat his shoulder. "It's for making mistakes when you can learn from them."

_no mid day practice with sue yet? damn she's letting you guys go this time :P _

"I'll do my best..." He said. They ate quietly for awhile before Quinn finished and looked at Maria. "Do... you think I can go to see Santana compete at Nationals with you and Dr. Lopez?" He asked quietly, "I can pay my own way... I just wanna see her win for the last time with our team."

"Pay your..." Maria rolled her eyes, "Sweetheart, we're driving behind the bus but you are certainly welcome to ride along and share our room. I'm sure Santana would be thrilled to see you there."

_That's /next/ period, thanks. And she was saying something about working through the end of the day. I'm gonna be /so/ sore..._

_I'll rub your shoulders and legs and keep you company while you bathe. _

"Thanks, I still wanna share that moment with her you know?" He sounded sad, cheerleading had been a big part of life for as long as he could remember. "I'm really proud of her and wanna cheer her on."

"Of course," Maria nodded, before turning back to her dish, knowing her daughter was worried about performing some of the moves without Quinn to catch her.

_I was thinking of a little more intimate of a relaxation technique, actually. Think you could kiss the sore spots better? ;)_

_of course. anything for you_

* * *

><p>When Santana came in a couple of hours later still in her Cheerios uniform, she grinned to see Quinn looking neat in her family's restaurant's familiar burgundy polo and khaki cargos sitting behind the takeout register in his wheelchair. "Hey, baby," she smirked, sauntering over behind the counter and sitting in his lap. "Miss me?"<p>

Quinn smiled and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and nodded. "Yes, I did. How was Cheerios?"

"Ugh, don't remind me," she relaxed back against him. "Seriously, I think they actually have to _try_ to suck that bad sometimes." She rubbed her thighs with a soft groan, "My legs are _killing_ me. Sue had us running suicides and kill-the-rabbits for the last hour of practice because freaking Jody almost brought the whole pyramid down again. I swear, she makes one more mistake and I'm either kicking her off the squad or getting Sue to demote her to JV and getting one of the freshmen who at least know how to _listen_."

"I'm sorry, baby." Quinn sighed, "What I always did with her was have her watch then she gets how to do it." He rubbed Santana's knees as he talked, "When we get home, I'll massage you okay? Get you feeling better."

"That's so not cutting it anymore," Santana shook her head, but eventually gave into the relaxing feeling of her boyfriend's soft hands on her legs and leaned into him. "Oh that sounds _nice_," she purred, turning her head to kiss the corner of his jaw. "Will you kiss the sore away?" she teased, letting her eyes close for a moment and just breathing the warm spicy scent of Old Spice coming from his skin. "Mmm, you smell good."

"Yes." He replied, "I will get you in a bath, then rub you down and kiss everything better," he said as he held her close. "I don't want you to be in pain."

"Good," she whispered, cuddling into his chest with a smile as if they were at home and not her family's restaurant. "I like that."

Neither of them noticed Luis walk into the area until he dropped his - thankfully empty - bussing tray with a loud clatter. "Holy _shit_!" he yelped, "Q, you're dating _Santana_? _My_ Santana? _Maria's_ Santana?"

Quinn looked panicked at the loud clatter. "Luis!" He yelped his hands coming away from Santana.

Santana looked first startled by the noise, startling upright, then hurt that Quinn pulled away from her. The emotions were only there for a second but she bit her lip with a sigh and stood up. "Luis, you gotta stop dropping shit. You're lucky that tray was empty or you know my mom would have taken the costs out of your pay."

"You're dating _Quinn_, San?" Luis looked hurt and let down.

She didn't even hesitate. "Yes. Now cut the hurt puppy look and get to work."

Quinn hid behind her and rested his head against her back. He was nervous and didn't want any issues with anyone. When Luis finally gathered his tray back up and headed back into the back, Santana sighed softly and let her arrogant posture relax.

"Quinn," she whispered, not turning around, "are... are you ashamed of being with me? I mean... if you are, that's okay. Lots of guys like you wouldn't want to be seen as dating a Latina like me." She didn't want to look at him. She knew that Puck had gone after Lauren because being seen with someone as dark as her reflected badly on him in a town as small as Lima, while even someone as huge as Lauren was better because she was white. "I can... I don't know. Just... whatever."

"No! San! God, no!" He exclaimed, "I can't believe you think that." He was kinda hurt, "I should be thinking of you being with a freak like me!" He kissed the nape of her neck. "I didn't want him to be mad. I love being with you."

She rubbed at her arms and shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. When we're alone anyway. I'm not dumb, Q. I can tell when someone doesn't want someone to think we're together. And it's usually something about me when guys act like that. So what is it? Am I too tan? Maybe my hair's too black?" She sounded bitter and hurt, "Maybe it's cause I'm a lesbian. Why am I not good enough for you to be proud enough to acknowledge that I'm your girlfriend?"

"Stop." Quinn demanded. "Just stop now. I want to be with you. I'm sorry if my issues are causing you doubt. I love being with you, I love it because you're amazing and beautiful. I'm proud of you and I'm just not used to being a boy in public. It's only been like two weeks for me... I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you're not a lesbian. I remember," she sighed softly, turning around. "But I still wish you wouldn't pull away like you're scared all the time." She managed a lopsided smile. "It wasn't even anyone important. Luis has been after me forever and it's not my fault he thinks he's got some kind of chance. I've always turned him down flat."

"It has nothing to do with my sexuality, San. I went from only being me behind closed doors to being me all the time. It's scary for me, San. I'm so happy I have you because it's not as scary when you're around... But I'm scared everyone can see through me."

"I know it's scary, Quinn," she frowned slightly sitting back on his lap, grateful that they weren't very busy at the moment, "but do you ever think that maybe I'm scared too? Thanks to Finn I had to come out of my carefully constructed closet and listen to everyone talking about how _accepting_ they are of me. Never mind that _I_ didn't want to come out. That _I_ wasn't ready." She shrugged. "And then suddenly, I had a chance with _you_... and you're a guy."

"I know. I know," he whimpered, his hand taking hers. "But can we just... Can we just be scared together?" He said softly, "I can't lose you. I... just can't," he admitted truthfully. "Can we figure it out together?"

"Isn't that what we're doing?" She asked softly, leaning in to kiss him. "I know I'm not exactly Lima's most outstandingly heterosexual girl, but I'm up for trying with you if you could maybe try to _not_ jump out of your skin because someone sees us cuddling or holding hands," she tried teasing. "Because if you keep that up, I _might_ start biting."

"I like when you bite." He teased softly, "I'm sorry... I didn't realize my insecurities were hurting you too." He kissed her shoulder. "I'll be better for you."

"I know you do," she teased. "And I know you'll try, but don't stress over it, okay? I know I'm a bitch and all, but even I won't force someone to change all at once."

He smiled and cuddled her until a customer came in and she helped him run the register. Quinn laughed softly and bagged up the person's food before turning back as Santana came back closer. He held her hips and leaned his head into her stomach. "Your mom said I can come watch you at Nationals."

"Damn straight, you're coming to Nationals!" Santana snorted, running her fingers through his hair, nails lightly scratching his scalp as she stood between his legs. "I've had this urge to kiss my cap on TV after we win senior year - and no doubt secure that All Star Cheer scholarship I've been coveting - for _years_. Wonder what you would have done if I did it while you were still my cap, hmm?"

"Would have kissed you back," he whispered against her uniform. "Would have kissed you and held you." He hugged her.

Santana's breath caught in her throat for a second and she smiled almost wistfully. "You would have? Even though you're not gay?"

"You're you." He smiled, "I like you so I'd kiss you."

"Not as a girl," she smiled lopsidedly, whispering as she remembered the one time she'd tried to act on her attraction to Quinn as a girl, "you didn't like me as a girl. Not like that. You would have pushed me away cause _he_ would have seen. Stupid as it is, that might have hurt worse than in my bedroom."

"That's true... My father is scary, San... He's the only one I'm worried about in regards to us. I'm sorry..." He sighed, "If... if I had to be a girl, I would have tried to be with you in college... But I don't know if I would have been alive, you know."

Santana shook her head. "Don't say things like that. You would have been fine once you got away from him. But if you were a girl," she smiled lopsidedly again, "I wouldn't have had any chance with you. You'd have found some great guy and I'd be lucky to be remembered enough as a friend to get an invite to the wedding. And given the kind of friend I was, I'd be lucky to get to sit in the back of the hall."

"I don't want to talk about it because I was never a girl," he snapped curtly, "I can't give you an answer because it was something I was forced to be. Wanting you as a dude has always been there."

She rolled her eyes. "I _know_ that, Q. I know you're a guy and I wasn't trying to suggest you weren't." She shrugged. "I was just pointing out that I know where I'd stand if you _weren't_ a guy. Calm down and stop snapping at me, okay?"

He sighed, "Sorry. It's been a long day and we're both tired." He looked down ashamed, "I'm sorry."

"Quinn, stop apologizing for everything," Santana sighed. "Especially not for stuff that doesn't need apologies for." She hooked her fingers under his chin and tugged it up until he could see her smirking at him before she leaned in and kissed him. "We gotta work on your confidence, babe."

"Yeah." He sighed and kissed her back. "I'm not very confident yet..." He sighed, "Do you think your mom will let us go home?" He was physically and emotionally exhausted.

"You'll get there and I'm sure Mama will be fine with you heading home. She knows you still get tired." Santana smiled at him. "Let me just go tell her what's going on so she knows to cover this register."

He nodded and cleaned up his workspace and grabbed a menu to study at Santana's house. He rubbed his nose, which was still bruised from Russell's beating and put his glasses on once more. He sighed and looked down at the menu, waiting for Santana.

"Okay, ready to go?" Santana came back over with a smile, Maria ducking out of the office behind her to wave at Quinn. "Getting tired, babe?" she asked softly, leaning in to kiss his cheek before pushing him towards the doors. "Maybe we can just watch TV and cuddle or take a nap for a bit unless you think you'd be comfortable taking a bath with me?"

"My leg can't get wet, baby," he sighed as he waived to Maria and held her bag as they got to his car. He got in the passenger side and helped pull the wheelchair in the backseat with a little effort.

"I know, but maybe we could figure something out?" she suggested, climbing in and reaching for his hand, "Like a bag over it with tape and stuff or propping it on the edge? I don't know I just want to do something where we can _both_ relax and get the sore out."

"We can try the shower bag." He said as he took her hand. "I'd have to hang it over the side," he smiled, "but I'd like that."

She started the car and backed out of the lot, heading back towards Lima and home before responding. "Maybe a shower then? I just," she shrugged, smiling almost shyly, "I'd like to spend some time with you, you know? Just us together and maybe doing things like touching each other without it being _sex_."

"I think we can manage that." He smiled softly as he looked at her. He kissed her hand and looked out the window. "Then I'll massage you okay?"

Santana smirked. "You just want an excuse to get your hands on my sexy ass body," she teased. "Get me all oiled up for you?"

"Do I ever not want that?" He raised his eyebrow and smiled, looking as they pulled into the driveway. "Leave the chair in here," he said as he got out and hobbled onto the porch.

"Keep that kind of talk up," Santana smirked, getting out and locking up before heading up to the front door, "and there might need to be sex after all." She unlocked the door and helped Quinn in, noting that her dad had already left for his overnight shift at the hospital. "But right now, let's just get wet and naked, shall we?"

He smirked and took his time getting himself up the stairs on his own and following her into the bathroom. He carefully took off the pants and his glasses and polo and folded them on the sink. He sat on the toilet and watched San undress as he took his bandages off and put on his knee covering.

Santana carefully undressed so she wouldn't risk damaging her uniform, hanging up it on the hanger behind the door before turning around. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the livid scars tracing across her lover's flat chest. "Oh God, Q," she breathed, coming over to kneel in front of him and gently brush her fingertips just above the long, angry looking scar across the top of his chest. "I'm so so sorry he hurt you. Does..." her fingertips just barely brushed where the the stitches had been, "this doesn't hurt does it?"

"They hurt..." he said honestly. "Everything kind of hurts all the time." He covered her hand with his. "I don't like looking at it because it reminds me of how much he hates me."

"Well, I like looking at them," she whispered, leaning in to brush her lips over the scar, "because they remind me you got away from him." She kissed the one further down, "And that even that awful son of a bitch couldn't kill my man or take him away from me." She looked up at Quinn from where she knelt nude between his legs, one hand on his bare chest, and smiled, "How about that shower, handsome? I'll wash your hair if you want."

"Okay," he nodded, getting up and working off his boxers and harness. He covered his core and looked at her.

"Quinn," Santana shook her head with a smile, standing up and leaning slightly against him, kissing him softly before continuing, "you know you don't have to hide from me, right? I'm not gonna suddenly think you're a chick and try to fingerfuck you just because your dick is on the counter."

"I didn't think you would," he said, carefully getting in the shower and sitting on the stool that had been put there for him. "It's just weird being bare sometimes."

"I get it," Santana pointed out, getting into the shower behind him and turning the water on after adjusting the spray to be less direct, "but I'm seriously not going to judge you. You're my guy and while it might be intriguing to blow you for real, I'm not a total ass and I'm not gonna force stuff like that." She leaned down and kissed the corner of his jaw as the warm water started flowing over her back and shoulders to spray him as well, "I'm not Puck and you're more important than that stuff."

"I know and that's why you are amazing." He pulled her down so she was on his knee.

Her arms instinctively went around his neck to catch herself against the sensation of falling as he pulled her down. Once she realized she was in his lap though she just shook her head with a smirk. "Hard to get you clean like this, babe," she chuckled, her eyes slightly closed against the spray splashing off his back and into her face, "but I like it." She smiled up at him, water running down her face from her damp hair as she reached up to run her fingers through his short, darkening blonde hair.

"I just like you close." He smiled sucking some water from her shoulder. "I just love being close to you."

"Yeah, it's pretty cool being close to you too," she whispered, encouraging him to tilt his head back and wet his hair as she moved to straddle his hips instead of sitting sidesaddle on his lap. "Come on, babe. Let's get you clean while we're close," she teased, trying to ignore the way her breasts brushed against the firm planes of his bare chest.

He leaned into her, holding her around the waist and letting wash his hair. "I missed you today."

"I missed you too," she smiled as she scratched against the top of his head, working the shampoo into his hair. "School is not nearly as fun without you around. I don't even have a good fight partner anymore! No one throws down like you, after all."

He chuckled, "Mmm, we'll do that when I'm healed." He smirked up at her, his eyes closed as she worked the lather up.

"Oh that sounds fun." She pushed him back under the spray again to rinse the soap out before reaching for conditioner, "Think you can fuck me in a janitor's closet or the bathroom after? Because I always get hot as hell after a fight with you."

"Oh totally," he smirked, "but like I don't think I'm gonna go back to school..." He shrugged, "I can't go back to that place now."

"You gotta graduate, Q. You've got to to come to college with me," Santana looked worried, pulling back to look at him. "I want my best friend to graduate with me..."

"I might see if I can finish with a tutor or online, it's just... I don't wanna go back if I need to be Lucy again... If I have to tell people what happened."

"Oh," Santana sighed softly, massaging the conditioner through his hair. "You'll come though, right? To graduation? You'll at least be there?"

She felt sappy as hell getting bothered by finding out that Quinn wouldn't be in the row ahead of her at graduation like she'd thought or in the senior class photo with her. It was bad enough they weren't in Cheerios together anymore, losing graduation too almost seemed like too much, but she took a breath and held it in. Maybe being with Quinn was making her softer than she liked, but she could still control herself and not let him see how it affected her.

"I will still be at the ceremony and graduate with you if I'm out for medical reasons." He smiled, "I'll still wear the ugly cap and gown with you."

"Really?" Even though she felt slightly ridiculous for reacting that way, Santana smiled brightly, only for the smile to fall a moment later. "Even if you have to be Lucy for the ceremony?" she asked softly.

"I can handle it because it's important to you and my mom," he smiled.

She couldn't help it. Sometimes he just did things that made her want to cry or hug him or both and this time she couldn't resist throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tight. Almost as quickly, she remembered the scars on his chest and jerked back. "Oh shit! Are you okay?"

"It's fine," he smiled up at her, running his hands over her back.

"You're wearing your friend," Santana nodded, smirking. "If you can dress like a girl to graduate with me, then I can make you feel like a man while we're there." She leaned in and kissed him, doing her best to ignore the stimulation to her nipples by pressing her chest against his. "I'll go on my knees under the bleachers for you, baby."

"Mmm," he smiled, leaning into her again despite the dull ache it caused in his chest as she pressed against him, "that sounds amazing." He kissed the side of her neck. "Can I fuck you after you win Nationals?"

"Mmm, please?" Santana chuckled softly, nuzzling the crook of his neck for a moment before encouraging him to lean back under the spray again to get the conditioner out. "I like being with you like this," she whispered, massaging his scalp as she rinsed his hair. "Bare. Not hiding," one of her hands slipped down from his scalp to trace over the skin and muscle covering his heart. "It's... nice."

"It is nice." He smiled, "Though, we're gonna have to fuck in the pool or the hallway at Nationals because I'm gonna be sharing a room with your parents and you'll be with one of the ugly Cheerios," he pointed out as he started washing Santana's hair.

"Mmm, bathroom or Papi's car. I don't want to share you," Santana moaned softly, relaxing into the feeling of having her scalp rubbed. "Oh, God, that feels so good..."

He smiled and massaged her scalp. He kissed her shoulder as he raked his fingers on her skin and then leaned her back before putting in conditioner. "I like washing your hair... I'm gonna do this for as long as I'm allowed okay? Every weekend when we get older I wanna wash your hair and bathe with you."

Santana smirked though her eyes remained closed. "I like that. No sex too or do you think we'll get it on in the shower sometimes?"

"We can always, _always_ get it on." He smiled and nipped her shoulder. He rinsed her hair, "Do you wanna get out and I can massage you?"

"That depends," she leaned forward and nipped at his ear. "Do you promise not to miss any spots? We've got the house to ourselves for a few more hours after all..."

He hummed a soft agreement as he turned off the water and waited for her to get off him and grab a towel before he got up and wrapped himself in a towel. "Baby, dry off and go lay on your bed okay? I'll come in and take care of you."

"Sounds like a plan, babe," Santana smirked, quickly wrapping her hair up into the towel after rubbing off. Her body exposed to her lover's gaze, she smirked at him and sashayed off down the hall, fully aware of how his eyes followed her before she stepped into her room. She sprawled on the bed, her arms and legs reaching for the corners, showing off her waxed core already glistening with arousal and tight ass to the door for her lover to see when he walked in.

Quinn dried off and put his boxers back on before washing and drying his packing dick for the night. He debated putting it back on and in the end put it in the towel and carried his clothing back to the bedroom with him. His breath caught as he saw his lover's body sprawled out on the bed for him to take in. "Shit, San," he whispered, dropping his clothing and walking over to the end of the bed. He grabbed a bottle of lotion and sat near her. "Baby... do you want a Cheerios' massage or a girlfriend's massage?" He smiled before running his hand over her ass.

"Girlfriend," came her muffled reply as she shivered slightly, smirking into the pillow as she turned her head just enough to peek up at Quinn. "Cheerios' would miss too much. I want your hands _everywhere_, Q."

"I can do both, babe," he whispered, leaning over and kissing the small of her back. "I can relax you, then get those kinks out of your muscles," he explained as he kept kissing up her spine then back down until he reached the swell on her ass. He reached up and grabbed his pillow and got it under her hips so he could reach her better as he ran his hands up and down her legs before spreading them slightly.

"Mmm," she moaned with an appreciative little shiver. "Feels better already. I think your pillow's gonna smell like sex though," she teased.

"I like to drool while I sleep." He smirked, "It will keep me company when I have to sleep in my own bed." He traced his hands down to her ankles and back up to her ass. "Your ass is out of this world," he remarked as he caressed it and kissed the skin where her butt met her thigh.

"Is it?" she muttered, concentrating for a moment before carefully flexing just her ass muscles for him. "How's that? Ever wonder what it'd be like to slap it or," she licked her lips, "dream about jacking off and coming all over it?"

He kissed each cheek softly. "I'd never want to smack something this perfect... again," he said, alluding to the rough sex of their first time. "I think it's beautiful... much like this," he whispered as he slipped his fingers between her folds. "This is beautiful too."

Her breath caught at the feel of him slowly exploring her core while his lips caressed her ass. "What," she licked her lips, catching her breath, "what if I wanted you to? W-what if I liked it when you were r-rough and possessive...?"

"Maybe some times," he whispered as he carefully got in between her legs. He pulled his fingers away and licked up her cleft and moaned. He went back, softly licking her pussy.

"Oh _God_," she groaned, "c-can I roll over? I wanna watch you lick me..."

He pulled away, and let her have enough room to move. He waited, licking his lips where they were coated in her arousal and watching her with lust fulled eyes.

She moved carefully, not wanting to kick him as she rolled. Raising first one then the other leg up and over his head, she gave him a tantalizing view of her swollen and glistening core as the lips parted with the movement of her legs allowing him a glimpse of her clit peeking out of its hood. She ran her hands up her body from her stomach to her breasts, cupping and rolling the full mounds in her hands as she watched Quinn between her legs.

"Do you dream of this then?" she whispered, pinching her nipple with one hand as the other slid down to brush her clit. "Do you dream of me touching myself while you watch?"

"Sometimes," he whimpered as he nipped her thigh, making her slide her hands away. "I dream of how you smell." He breathed in her scent and moaned as he pressed a kiss to the top of her mound. "Of how sexy you are and how I hope I get to see you like this for forever," he breathed as he ran his tongue through her folds. "So sexy," he moaned as he tasted her and the thick liquid covered his tongue.

"Oh God," she whispered, looking down her body between the swells of her breasts to see his familiar face buried between her spread open thighs. Just the sight made her body quake, but combining that with the feel of his tongue parting her folds and stroking her and his hands gripping her thighs was like being hooked to a battery. She started to try and prop herself up to get a better angle, but her arms trembled too much. "Oh, God, Quinn..."

"Just relax." He whispered, his hot breath hitting her core. "Let me make you feel good." He lapped at her core, slipping his tongue inside her a few times as he worked her body over.

"You always," she panted for a moment, laying back though she still wanted to watch him work between her thighs, "_always_ make me... feel good, Quinn."

Quinn smiled and focused on licking, sucking and nipping her clit. He brought his hand up and slid one finger inside her, his digit stroking her walls and teasing her hole. He slid inside as far as he could then pulled out and circled the girl's entrance, pressing inside her core and pulling out quickly.

Santana moaned and fell completely back into the bed, her back arching as her hips bucked up. "Quinn!" she gasped, "more... please, baby. I need you..."

"You have me," he said as he wrapped his lips around her nerve and carefully slid two fingers inside the girl. He curled them and scissored them as he thrust. He moaned as he felt her start to ride his face.

She moaned and writhed beneath his lips, her walls clinching and releasing his fingers over and over. She reached down and tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer, needing him _closer_. "Quinn," she panted, "please..." She needed release, trembling on the edge, missing that last tiny bit that would send her plunging over into orgasm. Each suck on her clit, each slide of fingertips against her g-spot made her groan desperately and beg for more. She was on fire with want but unable to quench it. "_Quinn_, please!"

Quinn's fingers pulled out and thrust back into his lover hard and fast. He repeated the action then slid three fingers inside her and thrust as fast as he could. Finally feeling herself stretched closer to the way she wanted, the way she'd gotten used to enjoying when she was with him, she gasped and arched into him, rolling her hips to pull him deeper with each thrust as she rode his face.

"God, yes!" she moaned, fingers fisting in the bed to give her leverage to grind into his mouth as he fucked her.

Her breasts bobbed with the motion of her body, nipples stiff and hard with arousal even if they weren't being sucked. She scrabbled at the edge, trying to hold on for a little longer, to make the feeling last, but in the end she lost her grip and fell. Her body seized, breath cutting off as everything focused on the sensations he was dragging from her with his mouth and fingers, her walls clenching hard on his fingers and pulsating around him as if they could milk them dry.

Quinn let his fingers get milked before he pulled out and kissed up her body. His lips pressed to her breasts before he moved to lay next to her. "You're beautiful," he said softly before wiping his lips and resting his hand on his stomach. He watched as her eyes stayed closed and she worked on catching her breath. His fingers traced over her abs as he waited for her to come back from her orgasm.

"No one calls me that, you know," she whispered, still breathing heavily and keeping her eyes closed but reaching up to pull him down into a kiss, moaning softly at the taste of her still faintly coating his lips and mouth. "Only you..." She finally blinked her eyes open to look at him with a slow smile, "I wish I could make you feel half as good as you make me feel, Quinn."

"You do," he whispered, his head pressed against hers. "You do, I promise." He laid on his back so his knee could be better positioned. His hand reached down and repositioned his briefs that had bunched up against his core, a visible damp spot on the material showing his lust for his girlfriend.

She'd glanced down, following his hand as he reached to readjust himself and noticed the lack of bulge but more the damp spot. "Quinn, can I," she sounded hesitant, reaching towards his boxers covered core slightly, "can I help? Can I touch you?" Her hand reached his hip, fingertips brushing the cloth over his thigh, but not actually moving towards his core until she had permission.

"H-how?" he asked, looking into her eyes and trying to figure out how this would work. "C-can... I... no one's every touched me... without..." he blinked, nervously.

"Not like a girl, baby," Santana whispered, rolling them slightly so Quinn was on his back and she was laying on her side beside him. "More like a guy." She let her fingers trail down over his cloth-covered core, brushing over the damp spot and pressing gently until she slipped the cloth between his folds just enough to find his clit, stiff with arousal. "Just... stroke you off," she rubbed the nub gently, "like this. If you want me to..."

"Uh," his hips bucked as he bit his lip. "I... I think," he grunted softly as he looked into her eyes. "I've never..." he was nervous, no one had ever touched him directly. "I... I trust you."

"I won't let you down," she whispered, moving until her first two fingers rested on either side of his clit and gently stroking up and down. "If I hurt you or if you just don't like it, tell me to stop. Okay? It's only fun if it's fun for everyone..."

"O-okay," he whimpered, his eyes watching the movement of her hand on his body. His hips arched up into her hand as he tried to figure out how his body was reacting to her touch.

"Baby, stop watching that," Santana whispered, pulling him into a kiss with her free hand. "Touch me instead," she guided one of his hands to her breasts, "and think about how I'm jerking you off."

He nodded, his fingers running over her breast and stroking her nipple with his thumb. "Baby," he groaned as he felt his body reacting to her.

"That's right, handsome," she growled softly, kissing along his jaw as she carefully pinched and tugged his clit through the boxers. "You like the feeling of me pumping your dick? Cause I love feeling it stretch me when we fuck."

He moaned softly, his body not knowing how to react to the stimulation that was being put against him. "That... that feels weird." He whimpered, "In a good way I think."

Santana laughed softly, her breath warm over his ear as she nibbled on his earlobe. "You're lucky you're hot, Q. Most girls don't like being told it feels weird when they're giving their boyfriend a handjob." She nipped at his neck, teasing, "Are you done playing with my tits, babe?"

"Never," he groaned, his eyes fluttering closed as his breath picked up with the stimulation. "I've... never had one before..." he said honestly before lazily opening his eyes and watching her face.

She smiled down at him as she moved to lean over him, her hand sliding up and down his shorts, rubbing him slightly harder as she changed angle. "Well, you're getting one now. What do you think?" she asked, nipping at his lower lip.

"F-feels good," he gasped, his head falling back against her pillow. "I feel... _hard_," he said almost astounded that he could feel hard without wearing his penis.

"You are pretty hard," Santana agreed, feeling the rigid bump under her fingers as she massaged it through the dampening cloth of his boxers. "Can you come from this?" she asked curiously, leaning down to kiss him, her breasts brushing over his chest. "Or do you need more... direct stimulation?"

"I'm... I'm good." He swallowed, kissing her back hard as he let himself feel her hand stroking his member. He rocked his hips slightly as her hand moved up and down against him. His breath caught in his throat with a hitch before getting to more of a panting state. "F-fuck," he whimpered, pulling his lips from hers so he could moan.

"Feel good?" she whispered, running her tongue along his jaw for a moment before licking and nibbling down his neck. "I want you to feel good, Quinn. Can you come for me?" She nipped at his pulse point before slipping down a little further to suck on his collarbone hard enough to leave a mark.

With a grunt and a sharp thrust of his hips, Quinn's body shook and he stiffened. He held onto Santana as he rode out his orgasm, his body expressing a moderate amount of ejaculate onto the spot where Santana's fingers stilled. He fell back to the bed with the grunt as he felt the heady feeling of a climax running through him.

She just laid against him for a long moment before finally sliding her hand away from his core, gently tugging his boxers free of his folds and dragging her damp hand up to rest on his chest. "How do you feel?" she asked curiously, delicately tracing the scars lining his chest as her head settled on his shoulder.

"Good." He whispered, his hand coming up to rest on her back as he cuddled into him. "Felt good..." He decided, not really knowing how to react to what just went on. His body knew it felt amazing, but his head was still telling him that he wasn't suppose to be feeling pleasure from that part of this body. So he decided to ignore it and enjoy his moment with his lover.

"Good," Santana whispered, snuggling against him and dropping a kiss just over his heart. "That's the kind of talk a girl likes to hear."

They weren't perfect. Far from it. But as long as they could communicate on some level, they'd be okay. And if Santana was looking forward to Nationals a lot more than she had been, well, who could blame her? It wasn't every girl - hell, it wasn't even a _quarter_ of the other girls - who had a sexy as hell lover who was willing to even offer to ride up and share a room with her parents just to have the chance to give her a good, congratulatory, after win fucking after all. Let alone actually _do_ it like Quinn wanted to with Santana.

It was things like that that almost made the girl wish she'd found him before Brittany.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

It was finally time for Nationals.

Santana leaned against the window of the bus and watched the countryside passing with a tiny smile. Maybe she had to share a seat with an underclassman that yapped almost more than Berry did in Glee, but at least she wasn't sitting next to Brittany. The leggy blonde had been regulated to the front of the bus with her team as the JV captain. She was lucky to even be going, but the team needed backups just in case of injuries and JV team at least knew the routines well enough to be fillers.

But the best part was if she turned her head just right, she could just get a glimpse of the familiar silver shape of her father's SUV. Her smile broadened slightly as she thought about her lover sitting in the backseat with the bags. Maybe it wasn't the same not having Quinn at her side in the competition, but having him in the stands and _later_ was almost as good.

It had been an effort to make her mind think of him as a guy instead of the girl she grew up with, but it made him feel better and for the first time in a long time, it made _her_ feel normal. Just like every other girl. And if he was a guy that smelled and felt like a woman when she kissed him, well, there was nothing wrong with that. Right?

She looked down at the phone clutched in her hand with a smirk. Tapping the button to wake it up, she flicked over to her IM app and sent a quick message.

**Hope ur up to being my bf tonight, bb. U know how performing turns me on. Winning makes me hotter.**

* * *

><p><strong>Don't I know it.<strong> Quinn tapped out and smiled softly, his shaggy hair covering his eyes. **Don't think I don't remember that you always **_**smelled**_** different after a big game or competition. Now I know what that smell was. Your pussy was dripping wasn't it?**

* * *

><p>Santana laughed softly, reading the reply.<p>

**U know it. Used 2 have 2 use my fingers & fuck myself so hard. But now I have u, don't I? ;)**

**Think u b up 2 helping a girl out 2nite?**

* * *

><p><strong>Already got it planned.<strong> He smiled and looked up at Santana's parents who were talking softly, Quinn still felt nervous about being with them but he knew her lover wanted him there. **Though, do you think you can wait until midnight so we can sneak out? Or do I need to fuck you before?**

* * *

><p><strong>Chicken. ;) But yeah. I can wait. Think u could meet me right after though? Get a taste? ;)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Yes.<strong> He responded before putting his phone down and stretching his back. He still had issues staying still for too long since his injuries. His chest had healed mostly, just nasty pink and red scars remained where his breasts used to be. They spanned his torso down to his belly button, and his body still ached with pains from his father's brutality. His knee had been set and stabilized with a smaller brace so it neatly slipped under his pants and he just used crutches to get around.

"You okay back there, Quinn?" Emilio asked, glancing back at him through the rear view. "We can stop if you need to get out and stretch for a bit."

"I'm okay," he said. "Thank you." He reached over and took one of his painkillers out of his bottle. "The doctors said that I can start taking off my knee thing when I'm not doing anything."

"Mmhmm, but let's consider that going to sleep for now, okay?" He shot him a smile, "Teenaged boys' ideas of not doing anything and doctors' ideas are often different. And better safe than sorry when it comes to your knees."

Maria glanced back over the seat at him. "We're about half way there. Do you want to stop for lunch soon or eat with the team when we arrive?"

"I... I can't eat with the team." He said softly, knowing that no one from the team knew he was identifying as male now. "Not after..." he motioned to himself and looked away. "You can if you want... I'll grab something and stay in the room."

She sighed, looking at her husband who shrugged. "Quinn, we only offered because we thought you'd like to eat with our Santana. Honestly, you know how the team eats. It's not nearly enough for a healing young person like yourself. We can stop along the way if you tell us what sort of food interests you. I know of my daughter's obsession with that Breadstix, but what of you, Quinn?"

"I would... but she's in Cheerios mode and she won't wanna eat anyway." Quinn replied, "I don't really want to have any of the Cheerios see me. I know the rumors that are going around school, and I'm not a hundred percent convinced it wasn't a Cheerio who sent those photos to my dad."

"Mmm, I wouldn't be so convinced that even in Cheerios mode, Santana wouldn't want to see you, my dear." Maria smiled at him. She still didn't entirely understand how Santana could want to be with someone who identified as a man after insisting she was a lesbian, but whatever made her daughter happy, she was for. "But where or what would you like to eat?"

"I like everything." He shrugged. "Whatever you want." He smiled politely and looked back out the window. He knew that Santana's parents weren't comfortable with him being a boy. Part of that was knowing him his whole friendship with Santana as a female, but the other was Santana was gay and he identified as man which made them even more apprehensive to his presence in their lives.

She sighed and turned back to the front, shrugging at her husband. Emilio shook his head and drove a bit more before seeing a sign. "Well, since you won't pick, Mexican it is! I know the wife took you out to work at our restaurant so consider this checking out the competition!"

Quinn laughed softly, "Sounds good."

* * *

><p>After lunch the Lopezes got to the hotel and settled in. Quinn laid on the double bed that resided near the window while Mrs. Lopez and Emilio worked on putting away their clothes and whispered softly. Quinn had fallen asleep nearly the moment he laid on the bed, his pain and anxiety medications doing a number on his ability to sleep and focus.<p>

When the Cheerios got in and settled, the first thing Santana did was slip away from the rest of the group and head down to her parents' room. Knocking softly, she smiled up at her dad, getting a hug before he nodded back to where Quinn was sleeping. Her smile widening, she slipped in past him and toed off her white sneakers before crawling onto the bed with him and curling into his side, her head resting on his chest.

Almost as if he was doing it consciously, Quinn's arm's wrapped around Santana's body. His hips tilted slightly towards her and a soft smile passed across his face.

Maria came out of the bathroom and looked at the teenagers on the bed. She moved closer to her husband and tilted her head. Santana and Quinn were careful to never be too romantic or touchy around each other. So the older woman had never really seen her daughter's relationship on this intimate of a level.

Santana was far too tired from the long bus ride to care about her parents seeing them together like they were. She just sighed softly and nestled into his embrace. Her arm curling over his chest, she breathed in the unique scent that marked him as _Quinn_ as her eyes fell closed. She knew she didn't have too long before she was forced back to the room she was sharing with three other Cheerios, so she wanted to get as much real rest in as she could.

Maria turned to her husband and whispered softly, "...but she said she was gay." She looked at the teenagers. She was honestly confused about how to proceed with the relationship. "I was just getting used to that."

"Shh," Emilio responded, finishing putting his things away. "She's herself. And Quinn is... unique. Leave them be." He spoke softly, trying to keep from waking two sleeping teens. "You know she's always had feelings for Quinn when Quinn was a girl. It's not like he changed who he was when it came out he identified as a man."

"But... what happens to Quinn or our child's heart when Santana realizes that Quinn's not just a girl playing?" she sighed and looked at her husband.

He sighed and sat down on the bed, holding his arms out for her to come over. "You just let it be, love. They will find their way. If it doesn't last, we will help them to rebuild. If it does, we will not question it. We'll be proud of them for finding each other and happy for their love." He kissed her cheek as she sat in his lap, his arms wrapping around her. "Don't grieve for a death before the patient is even sick."

"I know," she said softly. "God... I can never forgive Quinn's parents." she hissed looking at how Santana's hand gently pressed against the boy's scars.

"That is for _God_ to forgive, not us." His lips narrowed as he thought of the violence Quinn's father had inflicted upon his child. "That any father could do such a thing to his child," he shook his head, looking like he'd just bitten into something vile, "disgusting."

"That... that her mother just left," she shook her head, "that her mother just left with out even caring where her child was going to go."

"_His_ mother," he corrected gently. "And we don't know what was happening. We cannot judge, beautiful. Not without knowing." He chided softly, hugging her close. "The man, to inflict such violence upon the child, that is knowledge enough. But his mother for leaving? You did not see her go, Maria. She was not a woman leaving with an easy heart."

"Still... I wouldn't leave Santana if anything horrific happened to her. If she was in a hospital near death without a home or comfort." Maria stated, "Mothers don't do that. Quinn would cry when she was under sedation when I would bring San to visit and call out for her... _his_ mom."

"I know you wouldn't. But I also know that a man who would beat a child would beat a woman." Emilio looked into her eyes, letting her see the truth they both knew in his words. "And if he hurt Quinn so violently for being himself, what would he do to Judy for helping him hide it? And do not tell me she didn't know. You knew about our Santana even if she never said. A mother knows. Think how much more hurt Quinn would be if his mother were killed than what she's done. If she were gone forever."

"I know... but she _is_ gone." She sighed and rested her head against her husbands broad shoulder. "And she... _he_ needs a mom to tell him that he's okay."

"Then you tell him," he kissed her forehead, nodding over to where their daughter was wrapped tightly around Quinn, his arms holding her safe. "Because the way those two look remind me of us when we were young. That's love, Maria. And if they can find their way past all the bullshit in this world, maybe he _will_ be your son one day. Hey?"

"Maybe," she said softly. "I wish it was going to be easier for them." She stated honestly as she watched Santana's eyes blink open and watch Quinn's sleeping form.

"Love isn't easy," Emilio whispered into her ear. "That's what makes it worth it."

* * *

><p>Warm-ups had made Santana almost ready to scream with frustration. Sue had just sat back and watched with her trademark smirk, randomly calling girls off the formation and replacing with JVs. Eventually even Brittany had been slotted into the regular rotation, much to the blonde's enthusiastic joy.<p>

But then they got on the blue mats and the music had started and everything went _perfect_.

As she held the last pose with a bright grin, Santana knew the trophy was in the bag. There was no way anyone else would top them. It was like an electric charge following through her body as she looked out over the crowd and met Quinn's hazel eyes. Her smile became a smirk as she dropped down into a cradle catch and cheered her way off the mat, seeing him head down out of the stands towards the backstage area.

* * *

><p>Quinn leaned against the wall and waited. He was so proud of his former team and of his girlfriend. They had executed the routine he, Sue and Santana had masterminded perfectly. Part of him longed for his team and to have been apart of that, but right now his mind could only focus on one thing. The sexy as hell girl that was headed his way.<p>

Santana ran over and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist as she hugged him with a happy squeal. "We did it, baby! We're gonna be champs!" She caught his cheeks and kissed him hard before sliding back down to get her weight off his knee. When she pulled away her eyes were dark with want as she smirked up at him, "Wanna find some place to... celebrate for a bit before tonight?"

"How about right here?" he smirked, his hand moving to cup her core under her skirt. "Aww, baby, does winning turn you on?"

"How about," she reached past him to turn the handle on the door he was leaning beside, "in _here_ instead?" Pulling him into the storage closet she all but growled with how sensitive her body was, pulling down her spankies and panties to leave her bare under her skirt as soon as the door shut. She leaned against the door and spread her legs, flipping her skirt up, not even caring how wanton she looked doing it because he was her Quinn. "I want you to eat me, Quinn. Don't you want to taste a winner?"

"Fuck." He groaned low in his throat looking at her exposed core, "Yeah, I want you." He moved closer and slid two fingers quickly up her tight channel. "Fuck I love feeling you covering my hand."

She groaned, her head snapping back to smack into the door with a soft thud as she tightened her muscles about his fingers. "Fuck, Quinn... I want your tongue, baby. I want you to push me up against this wall and eat me. T-then I wanna kiss you and taste me on your lips. And later," she tangled fingers in his hair and made him look at her, her voice dropping to a husky whisper, "later I want you to fuck me so hard I can barely walk." She pulled him into a hard kiss, biting his lower lip.

He slid down her body to his knees, his hands pulling her thighs apart and his lips going right to the source of her pleasure. "Fuck, baby," he grumbled. She tasted like she was melting in his mouth.

She moaned, lifting a leg to wrap around his shoulders and opening wider for him. "Fuck yes," she hissed, raking her nails over his scalp, as his mouth stroked the fire in her core higher. "Suck me, baby. Suck me hard."

He slid his tongue inside her and sucked her hole with vigor. He reached his arms up and squeezed her breast as he plunged inside her.

"Oh _God_, yes!" Her head smacked into the door again as she arched her body into his mouth, reaching down she fumbled for one of his hands and pulled it down to press it against her bare ass. "Grab me, Quinn," she hissed, "I want your marks on my body. I _want_ them."

Quinn removed his tongue from her pussy long enough to lean down and suck and bite at her thighs. He pulled back, smirking as he noticed his prominent marks against her skin. He quickly moved his lips back to her clit, sucking roughly.

"Oh God," she panted, her hips bucking with each suck, nails digging into his scalp as she tried to pull him closer. "Oh God, I'm so close... so close... _fuck_! F-fingers... fingers, baby. I need you inside me. Oh fuck, inside, Quinn, _please_!"

Without preamble Quinn slid three fingers inside his lover, one hand grabbing a handful of her ass to direct her body with his movements. She gasped as he stretched her, but it wasn't as wide as she stretched to take his cock so she just shifted her hips to open her thighs a little wider and rocked on his fingers.

"Oh God, _yes_!" she growled, hips rolling as she rode him. "Fuck me, Quinn. I'm going to come..." She panted rapidly as the feelings built in her, her eyes closing and head and shoulders pressed against the door to hold her up as her lower body bucked and rolled. She moaned at the feeling of being filled by him while he sucked her clit and his fingers dug almost painfully hard into her ass to control her. "Fuck, yes, _harder_! Make me yours, baby."

"Anything," he panted, pulling his lips away from her drenched core. He kept thrusting, batting his tongue back and forth over her clit in counter-time with his fingers.

It was enough. It was almost too much as she shuddered and bucked between him and the door. "Quinn!" she gasped, her voice trailing into a low keen as she came hard, her body clenching hard on his fingers.

He continued to try to thrust, but her walls didn't let him. He remained lapping up her essence and working softly to bring her a second climax. She jerked and nearly screamed as her body started coming down only to be sent hurtling into a second orgasm. It felt like her entire being was draining out through her core as she struggled to breathe let alone remember who she was.

Quinn relented after his girlfriend's second climax. He gently licked her clean before moving to kiss her thighs and carefully stand up. His knee ached but he knew it was worth it.

She reached blindly for him as her leg came down to let her stand on both feet, helping him stand more from instinct than conscious effort. Pulling him close, she snuggled into his chest. "I love you," she whispered, panting for breath. "Thank you. Are you okay?"

"I love you too." he whispered and hugged her. "You're so beautiful."

She laughed, a soft breath of sound against his neck as her fingers traced patterns on the small of his back. "So didn't answer my question, stud. You okay? Gonna be up to meeting me tonight?"

"Always," He smiled, "You need to go be with your teammates and celebrate," he reminded her. "Who are you sharing a room with anyway?"

"Couple of the new Cheerios. I haven't really bothered to get to know them." She shrugged, "Brittany tried to share a room with me, but I got out of it because the JV captain had to stay with the JV team. She's really getting pushy lately. It's annoying."

"Want me to kick her ass?" Quinn asked, "Tell her that you're mine and she needs to step the fuck off?"

Santana smiled but shook her head. "Sexy as possessive you is, she's still my friend, Quinn. I can handle her." She stroked a hand down his chest, "And besides, you're the only one with access to all this," she ran her hand down her body with a smirk. "Which I _hope_ you'll take more _proper_," the hand on his chest slid down to grip his package, pressing it into his body as she purred into his ear, "advantage of tonight."

"I plan to," he smirked. "I'll come to your room when I can get out after your parents fall asleep." he smiled and took her hand and led her out of the closet. "I'm so proud of you, San."

Her smile was slightly bittersweet. "Would have been better with you there too. But I get why you couldn't. And you were watching so it was almost as good." She leaned up and kissed him softly, leaning into him and not caring who saw.

He smiled and got back on his crutches to keep up with her on the way to the elevator. "Go party with the Cheerios. I'm gonna take a nap and get some strength for tonight."

"Eat something too," Santana suggested with a smirk, "maybe some carbs and protein. Gotta keep your energy up," she leaned in for another kiss before whispering against his lips, "cause, baby, I wanna ride your dick until I can hardly walk." She pulled away, licking her lips with a dark gaze, waving her fingers at him as she backed into the elevator to head up to the floor the Cheerios were on. "See you soon, stud."

"Bye, baby," he smiled and headed off to the hotel room to shower and lay down until he was to meet Santana's parents for dinner and then meet up with Santana later that night.

* * *

><p>Santana had just started getting out of her Cheerios uniform after the celebration ended, sliding her spankies off and tossing them at her bag, when the door clicked open. Figuring it was one of her roommates, she didn't think anything of it, sitting on the bed and starting to unlace her sneakers. "The other bed's yours, I'm not arguing about it."<p>

When the bed sank down behind her, she slammed her foot down on the floor. "What the fuck is it about _the other bed's yours_ don't you _get_, newbie!" When lips met her neck and thin pale arms that most decidedly did _not_ belong to her boyfriend wrapped around her neck, she nearly jumped out of her skin. "This is _not_ cool, cut it out!"

"Come on, San," Brittany's familiar voice purred in her ear as a hand slid through the folds of her skirt to cup her core, "I know how hot you get after a good performance. Just let me help you. It'll be like old times..."

Santana freaked out, gripping Brittany's wrist hard and shoving her away. "What the fuck is _wrong_ with you, Brittany? I'm _dating_ someone! This is _so_ not cool!"

Brittany laughed, smiling at her and pulling off her top to reveal she'd forgone wearing a bra again. "Oh, whatever. You're dating a boy and I know you're not into boys. Besides, the plumbing's different so it's not cheating anyway." She reached out to pull Santana into a kiss.

Santana sputtered and shoved her off. "Stop it, Brittany!"

"No, I'm gonna make you feel better," Brittany whispered, using her superior strength to pull Santana into a kiss, biting her lip.

Santana shoved hard, knocking her back to the bed. "I said cut it _out_, Britt!"

Brittany just smirked and started getting up. "Ooh... you know I like it when you're rough and playing hard to get, Sanny..."

Santana's eyes widened and she ran into the bathroom, locking the door and leaning against it. She shivered as she heard Brittany pounding on the door, biting her lip and realizing that her best friend just didn't care what she wanted. Fumbling her phone out she sent a text to Quinn.

**911! B crazy! In my room! Tried to sex me, Q! :(((**

* * *

><p>Quinn's phone vibrated near his head. He had showered and was laying on the bed reading a book, while Santana's parents drifted to sleep. He thought this was the go ahead to kick off their night, but when he saw the text he quickly jumped up. He didn't even care that he was bare from the waist up and his baggy sweatpants and tight boxers did little to hide his appendage as he barreled down the hallway and into the elevator.<p>

He punched the button for the eleventh floor and fumed as he limped down the hallway towards room number 1105 when it finally let him out. He lifted his hand and pounded his fist against the door.

Brittany took her time answering the door, not even bothering to put a top back on before pulling it open. When she saw some guy standing outside the door, she raked her eyes over his taut body and the scars covering his chest with a smirk, not even bothering to look past the shaggy hair falling over his face. "Hot. You here to join in? Cause it'd be really fun to fuck you I bet."

"Shut up." He snapped, "Where is my girlfriend?" He demanded pushing on the door his muscles flexing as he worked to push past Brittany.

She pouted at him. "You're no fun. What are you even talking about? No one in this room is dating any guys." She smirked, running her finger along the door frame, "But we're up to having fun if that's what you're into."

"I'm pretty sure Santana is," he grumbled. "Listen, I'm not interested in slutty girl's throwing themselves at me. So please move so I can find my girl."

"Really, baby?" She smirked, her eyes lingering on the bulge in his pants, reaching up to play with one of her breasts, "I think you already found her. Come on, San's busy. Why not play with me for a while?" She parted the folds of her skirt, showing off that she wasn't wearing anything else. "I'm really flexible. Guys like that..."

"Ew, Brittany!" He recoiled, "Fucking get Santana!" He yelled, "I don't wanna see your nasty cum soaked cunt, okay? Go fuck someone else!"

She frowned, peering at him. "Hey, how do you know my name? Do I know you? I'm pretty sure I'd remember scars like that..."

With that Quinn pushed Brittany back, and entered the room. "Get out of my way."

"Hey!" Brittany yelled, falling back to land on the floor beside the door, glaring at the boy stalking across the room towards the bathroom. "You can't push me around like that! I'll find out who you are! I'll get you in trouble like I did Q! I'm not stupid! San loves _me_! She said so!"

Quinn stopped. "What did you do to Quinn?" He growled.

Brittany smirked, climbing to her feet and assuming she'd gotten the winning hand. "I sent pictures to her dad. I knew he'd be unhappy 'bout what she was doing with Sanny. She probably got really grounded. That's what happens when people mess with what's _mine_!"

Quinn turned around, "Y-you did it?" he asked, his voice shaking. "You stupid, _selfish_ little bitch!" He yelled, "I didn't get _grounded!_!"

"W-what?" Brittany backed up into the wall, looking scared for the first time. "What are you talking about? Y-you're not Quinn."

Before Quinn could do anything he'd regret, the bathroom door flew open with a bang and Santana hurled herself out to wrap her arms around Quinn waist and hold him back. "Don't do it, baby. Don't. She's not worth it." She glared over Quinn's shoulder at the taller girl. "She's not worth _anything_. She's just a stupid bitch. Don't, baby."

"W-what? San..." Brittany's face slowly crumpled at the attack from the person she'd thought was her best friend. "You... you don't mean that..."

"He... See these scars?" he motioned to his chest, "That's where my dad decided to slice me open with a dull letter opener." He hissed, "Where he decided that I didn't get to make a decision on how I present myself to the world. Where he decided that he'd _cut my breasts off_ then he'd beat me until I lost enough blood to pass out. That he'd break my ribs, shatter my knee and cut off all of my hair so I couldn't be in the world without everyone knowing my _shame_!" he yelled, his body shaking with anger. "That he beat my _mom_ and made her have to run away and leave me to find a way to the hospital half fucking dead!"

"I... I didn't know," Brittany whispered, sinking to the floor as she stared up at the ruin of someone who had once been her friend. "I didn't know he would... I thought he was nice. He was always nice to me... I thought he'd ground you, Quinn. That's all..."

"Yeah, well he _didn't_ so fuck off, Brittany," Santana growled, pressing herself into Quinn's back and trying to calm him down. "This is all _your_ fault. You're the reason I didn't get to compete with the person I love! You're the reason I had to sit by a fucking hospital bed thinking he was going to _die_! So fuck you!" Tears were streaking her cheeks, but she tried to keep it together for Quinn. "Go _away_ and leave me alone, Brittany. I don't _ever_ want to see you again." She shook her head, burying her face in Quinn's shoulder.

Quinn turned and wrapped his arms around Santana's waist, whispering softly into her ear trying to soothe her. After a few moments of comfort he turned to Brittany. "He tried to kill me because I was different," he swallowed. "I could have been okay until I got to college... but because you were jealous of not being with Santana you decided to try to ruin my life."

"I... I'm sorry, Quinn. I didn't mean..." Brittany's voice trembled. "I... I didn't. Really... I just wanted you grounded... just punished a little for stealing her from me..."

"She wasn't yours!" Quinn snapped, "You threw her away for _Artie_!" He reminded the girl, "You can't have everything. She can't have meant much to you since you tried to jump me when I showed up at the door."

"Stop being mean to me!" Brittany cried, "It's not my fault your dad hurt you! It's not my fault you tricked me! Stop being _mean_!"

Santana just shook her head, pressing her face into Quinn's back. "Quinn, let's go. Let's just go. She's not worth it. I want to go. Please?"

"Stop being a child," he spat and took his girlfriend's hand. He grabbed Santana's bag and carried it with them. "Anything else you need?"

Santana shook her head. "I just don't want to be here, okay? I don't want to be _near_ her right now."

He lifted the bag over his shoulder then escorted her out of the room.

* * *

><p>They'd been walking down the hall for a couple minutes when Santana stopped, reaching out an gripping Quinn's hand. "I don't want to go back to my parents," she whispered. "Can... can we go to the car, Quinn? Like we'd planned? I just," she sighed softly, "I want to forget that all happened. I just... can I just belong to you tonight?" She looked up at him pleadingly, wanting him to erase the awful feeling Brittany's pushy attempts at sex had given her.<p>

Quinn nodded, his mind in a daze. His friend - someone he'd known for _years_ - sent photos to his father. And didn't even seem guilty. "Yeah, let's go," he replied tugging her outside, shivering slightly from the brisk night air against his bare chest.

"I hate her," Santana whispered, pressing against his side, an arm around his waist - half supporting him almost unconsciously as tears trickled down her cheeks. "She... I can't believe she did that. And... and... God, I actually thought she'd rape me if I didn't get out of there. How... What _happened_ to her?"

Quinn shrugged. "I don't want to think about her again," he said as he unlocked the car and slid in the back hatch. He had laid out a blanket earlier and a rose. "I wish this wasn't tainted by her."

Santana smiled softly as she saw the blanket and rose. Her lip caught between her teeth as she reached for the flower. "Quinn," she breathed, looking up at him with a teary-eyed smile. "You... for me? For..." She shook her head, reaching up to wipe away the tears in her eyes. "I love you. So much, baby. I don't... I don't want to think about any of what happened a little bit ago. Just... make me yours, baby. Please? I don't want to think. I'm yours. Completely. Whatever you want."

"I love you too." He smiled and leaned in a kissed her. "Lay back okay?" he asked as he ran his hands up and down her bare thighs. "I've always loved this uniform on you, you know."

"Really?" she whispered, lying back on the blanket, her hair loose around her shoulders after taking it down while getting changed before she was interrupted. "You ever thought of doing this with me like this then? Cause I'd kinda like to see your fantasies, baby. Just tell me what to do."

He slid his hands up her thighs and tugged down her panties. He unzipped her top and pulled it aside before tugging down Santana's skirt. "Baby, you're stunning." He whispered as he leaned down to kiss her abs. "You're my fantasy."

She laughed slightly breathlessly as she let him strip her bare, "You mean to tell me you never thought about getting to fuck me like this before we were together? Never? And here I thought I'd get to see some of the kinky stuff you dreamed up," she teased. "I mean, come on, years of repression? Gotta be some kinky hidden up in that head of yours."

"You stared in my first wet dream." He replied, his tongue tracing her bellybutton. "You and me... alone at the pond at cheer camp," he told her.

"Your first? Damn straight. But the pond?" she whispered, watching him, "What we do? Show me, baby."

"I saw you in that white bikini." He replied as he traced his tongue up her abs, "I saw you coming out of the cold water and your nipples were _so_ hard." He moaned remembering, "I went back to my bed that night and dreamed about stripping you naked and sucking on your tits."

She shivered, but kept herself from reaching for him, letting him have control. "R-really? How? Did you mark me?"

He laughed softly and moved down to kiss the marks he left earlier on her thighs. "I think I marked you earlier."

She blushed, watching him. "I liked it," she whispered softly. "I like when you're rough with me... when you're _possessive_... I feel like I belong to you. No one else can take me."

"We belong to each other." He smiled and leaned up and kissed her. "I love you so much." He kissed her softly and parted her legs as she arched up against him.

She moaned at the pressure of his hips between her legs, but she was starting to get frustrated. "Quinn, I love you, but I'm trying to give you control here. I want you to take control. Please, baby. I know I'm not good at this being submissive shit, but I wanna try with you..."

"I don't know how to control," he whispered against her neck. "I don't know how to do that."

"I know," Santana whispered into his ear, her hands finally coming up to stroke his back. "But I want to give it to you. I want you to have control over me like this at least sometimes, so even when things are fucking insane in our lives, you've got me. I just... I want to let go with you and know you can take control of me... just like I can do for you when you need it, baby."

"Santana..." He whispered, "Can.. Can I just make love to you?"

She nodded, kissing him softly. "Always, baby. We can work on this another time, okay? Just love me for now."

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he peppered kisses across her chest. "I love you."

"Don't be sorry," she smiled, watching him and running her fingers through his hair. "I love you too. I just wanted you to know if you need it... you have it with me, okay?" She reached down and tugged at his sweatpants. "You ever going to take these off though?" she teased softly, changing the subject.

"Horny," he teased before working on pulling his pants off. His dick nestled in his briefs rubbed against her as he leaned down and took her nipple into his mouth. He sucked it slowly, just wanting to feel apart of her inside a part of him.

She groaned, fingers tightening slightly in his hair. "God, I love it when you do that, baby," she whispered, her chest heaving as she panted for breath.

He kept his touch light, every so often running his teeth over the sensitive nub. She shuddered under the teasing touch, her body enflamed with want. For a moment, she almost protested, but then she smiled, licking her lips.

"God, yes," she moaned, arching her chest up for him. "Yes, Quinn... oh God..."

"Am I gonna make you come from just this?" he asked. "Will sucking on your tit make you come?" He switched to her other breast lifting up his body so no part of him touched her but his mouth.

"I don't know," she admitted softly, her breath coming in short gasps, "I've... I've never tried. But I'm willing to find out." She felt like she was on fire from the teasing. "God, Quinn..."

He bit down on the taunt peak, before soothing it with his tongue. "I just wanna get you wet for me," he explained as he brought his hand down to stroke his member through his briefs.

"God!" she yelped as the bite sent an electric bolt through her body, "S-sometimes I think I'm _always_ wet for you, baby. Did," she panted for breath, "did you know I used to get fucking _drenched_ watching you at practice? God _damn_ you have a fine ass."

"I used to see you watching and think about what your lips would look like around my dick," he said rolling to the side and stroking himself.

"I could show you if you want," Santana whispered, rolling to face him, nipples hard and smooth core glistening with her arousal, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips. "I might even have some flavored condoms in my skirt pocket _just_ in case..."

"If you want... I know you don't like it." He shrugged as he ran his hand over his own chest. "One day... you'll get to suck my real dick... someday."

"Really?" she asked reaching for her pocket to fumble out a condom packet that claimed it was cherry flavored. "That'll be cool." She leaned in to kiss him softly, "You have no idea how much I'd like you to come in my mouth someday, baby."

He groaned at the thought, "I want that so bad." He said as he watched her take over stroking him. "It won't taste like plastic then."

"No," she whispered, pushing his briefs off so he was nude and running her hand over his shaft, "it'll taste like you, so it'll be amazing. It's always amazing when part of you is inside me, baby."

He nodded and watched her roll the condom over him. "I love you," he reminded her as he helped gather her hair as she leaned down to lick his length.

She smiled up at him, her lips barely an inch from the latex covered tip of his cock. "I know," she whispered, "I love you too."

As the words left her lips, she took a breath and carefully took the head of his cock into her mouth. Rolling her eyes up, she watched him as she sucked, hollowing her cheeks and sliding a little further down until she gagged slightly, making her slide back off a bit. She wrapped her hand around the base of his shaft and pumped him as she sucked the tip, pushing it back into his body in a way she knew could give him pleasure.

He groaned, his hips rising up and a hand tangling in her hair. "Fuck," he groaned, "so sexy." He guided her head as she sucked, being careful not to choke her.

She moaned around his cock as she worked it. It didn't taste like _him_, but at least it didn't taste like rubber either thanks to the flavored condom and she subconsciously made a mental note to stock up on them for moments like these. Breathing deeply, she deep throated him for an instant before she started to gag and had to back off again. She pulled away, leaving his member slick with saliva, but continuing to slowly pump him as she licked her lips.

"How's that, Q?" She smirked up at him, using her free hand to wipe away a bit of saliva from the corner of her mouth with the tip of her finger. "Live up to your fantasy?"

"You never disappoint," he said as he grabbed her and pulled her up. "I want you to ride my dick," he said as he leaned in between then and positioned his head at her opening.

She shifted so her knees rested on either side of his body, teasing herself with the tip of his cock. This was the start of what she wanted from him. The confidence to tell her what he wanted from her. She pulled his hands to rest on her hips as she licked her lips, looking down at him. "Guide me, baby."

He left his hands on her slim hips as he shifted his hips to slide the grooved head into her body. "Tight," he mumbled, always in awe about how hard he had to work to push inside because of how tight his girlfriend's muscles were around his cock but wishing most of all that he could _feel_ it. "Think your pussy can swallow it all?"

Santana smirked down at him, her eyes flickering as he slid inside. "Quinn, I can take anything you can dish out. You think you can challenge me?" she teased.

"Maybe," he smirked. "Maybe I just like talking dirty to you." He shrugged and arched his hips and sheathed himself all the way inside her with a grunt.

"F-fuck!" Her breath caught in a sharp gasp as he filled her, the head of his cock just tapping the wall of her cervix as his shaft ground along her g-spot. "I like it," she panted, struggling to control herself. "I like when you talk like that with me."

"Look how much this turns you on." He smirked, "Me being six inches inside you, making you writhe on my dick." He said as he stopped moving his his hips with a smirk.

Her eyes widened in shock as she stopped. "D-don't stop! Why'd you stop?" She tried to roll her hips, to ride him, but the hands on her hips kept her in place. "Q-quinn," she begged, her voice trembling, "please..."

"Because you don't get to do everything you want sometimes," he said. "It's better if you wait until it's given to you."

"Quinn," Santana gasped, looking down at him with lust-darkened eyes as she realized what he was doing. She trembled above him, impaled on his cock, walls rippling along its length as she fought with her urge to move. Finally, she nodded jerkily, not caring she could probably be seen sitting naked over her lover with his cock filling her completely, nipples achingly hard, through the windows of the SUV by anyone walking by. "Okay," she whispered, nodding again. "I'm yours. You're in charge, captain."

"Such a good girl," he smirked and brought his hands up to her chest. "Now tell me what you'd like."

"You," she panted, her body straining as she fought to keep herself still. "I want you to t-touch me, Quinn. Just... I'm yours. I want to give you your," she gasped as her body trembled, "your fantasies. I want... I want to live your wet dreams, baby."

"You are my fantasy," he groaned and rolled his hips once. "I used to watch you and think about you all the time. Your legs, your breasts, your lips..." he smiled, "How sexy you were when you get pissed at me..."

Santana smirked, though it trembled slightly as she tried to restrain the whimper that wanted to burst out when he slid out and back in with that single teasing roll. "G-getting pissed was easy. Meant I got to t-touch you. P-press against you..."

"You wanted me to take you right then and there in front of all of our teammates," he growled as he rolled his hips again. "Wanted me to take out all my aggression and frustration on you and your pussy."

"Yes," she hissed, her hands flat on his chest, palms sliding over his nipples, "fuck yes. I just wanted to belong to you." She panted, the slow pace of their joining driving her nearly insane with want, "Y-you could have bent me over the bench on the sidelines and fucked my ass even. When I found out you had this big ass cock, I'd imagine you fucking me on the bench in the locker room. Just spreading my legs and stretching the shit outta my dripping pussy with everyone watching I wanted you so fucking bad, Quinn."

"You have me," he replied, thrusting three times hard into her core. "You're mine forever."

"Good," she gasped, her breasts bouncing with the force of each thrust, her head falling back with a low moan. It didn't matter that she had a dick filling her and the chest under her hands was flat and ropy with scars. It was _Quinn_ and that was far more important to her than his gender. Maybe women usually hit her buttons, but he somehow managed to tap them all just being himself. She ground down into his pelvis, pushing his member into his body. "F-fuck I love you..."

"I love you too," he growled as he kept thrusting with a force that filled the car with loud thumps and the sound of squishy organs melding together. He was panting and trying to give her everything he knew she wanted, trying to make her remember that he was inside her even if he wasn't. He wanted her to know that no one else would ever touch her like this.

"Fuck," she keened softly, rolling her hips to ride him. "My tits, Q," she panted, "squeeze my tits..." She arched her back, full breasts pointing towards the roof of the car as it rocked from the force of their joining. She wanted his hands on her, wanted him to watch her climax while she rode him, her juices coating his dick and her thighs.

He reached up and clamped the tips down with his forefinger and thumb. "Scream my name when you come."

"Fuck," she gasped, riding him hard, her body edging closer and closer to climax, "I... I don't know if I _can_, Q!"

"You'll scream my name," He said, stopping all movements.

"Quinn, please," she gasped, nearly in tears from how ready her body was, "please don't stop. I'll try. I'll try, I promise."

"Good girl," he said as he sped up his thrusts again. He pounded into her body, until his chest sheened with sweat and his muscles hurt from effort. "Come for me," he demanded as he twisted her nipples.

"Oh God, Quinn," she gasped, her body glistening with sweat as she writhed above him, her body tensing as she neared her orgasm. "Oh God... God," she panted, moaning until he twisted his hips and somehow raked his head directly over where she needed it. Her head slammed back as her body bowed above his in orgasm. "Q-quinn!" she squeaked, unable to get any more breath for a louder cry as her body shuddered through climax at his hands.

Quinn whimpered and shuddered, the movement caused his member to press directly against his engorged clit. He gasped and came softly with her.

"Oh God," she finally gasped as her orgasm released her to slump down against his chest, his dick still buried in her sopping core, "God, Quinn... and you said you didn't know how to take control," she laughed softly, stroking a hand over his chest.

He tried to catch his breath as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I thought I'd give it a shot." He chuckled softly as he held her.

"You're good, Cap," she whispered with a smirk, shifting her hips and inadvertently pressing his cock into his clit as it shifted with her. "I like this. Being like this with you..."

"Shit," he groaned. "Baby, careful," he whispered, rolling his hips to get the base's pressure off his clit. "You're so amazing. I love being with you like this too."

She shuddered as the roll dragged his dick through her sensitive pussy. "Oh," she gasped. "Q, unless you want to go for round two, you better be careful yourself."

"Mmm. Too tired for round two," he said honestly, nuzzling her neck and holding onto her body. "You are so stunning."

"Mmm, I know," she smirked, kissing the long scar across the top of his chest, "aren't you lucky you caught me?"

"So lucky," He whispered, "I love you so much, and I'll protect you from all the bad people in the world."

She looked up at him through the loose tangle of her hair with a lopsided smile. "Do I get to protect you from them too?"

"If you want," he said softly. "But, I'm the boy... shouldn't I protect my girl?"

"It's the twenty first century," Santana smirked, resting her head on his shoulder, "girls can protect boys too. Way to be sexist, Q." She shifted her hips slightly, "Mmm... I think I kinda like being able to lay here with you in me. Feels... right." She leaned up and kissed his jaw.

"Not being sexist," he mumbled. "Doing what Disney movies told me." He smiled and kissed her shoulder, "I know you're big and strong and can protect me. But, just by loving me you protect me."

"Good," she whispered snuggling with him for a moment before sighing. "We need to go back inside, baby. Much as I'd love to lay like this and feel you in me all night, I don't want to deal with the scandalized outrage of my mom and dad finding us tangled up like this." She kissed him gently then carefully rose up off of him, letting out a gasp as his head slipped free of her tight channel. She whimpered softly at the feeling of loss, but smirked down at him. "Come on, Q. You wanna fuck me all night, we can wait until college and sharing a room together, right?"

"Alright, alright." He smiled and grabbed the harness he was wearing and slid it off and put it in the bag in the corner of the back of the SUV. He wiped himself off with the blanket then offered it to her. He pulled out two pairs of pajama pants and handed one to her and slid another on himself before handing her one of his white v-neck t-shirts before pulling on himself. "I planned ahead."

"Now see? That's fucking sexy. I didn't have to worry about anything but you and me doing the wild thing in the back here," Santana smirked as she cleaned off, accidentally getting some of her essence on her fingers. "Hey, baby. Taste?" she held them out to him as she knelt beside him.

He leaned in and took her fingers into his mouth and licked them clean. "You taste good." He smiled and licked his lips before rubbing his knee and sliding out of the back of the car. He offered her his hand and slung the bag over his shoulders, "Bed time for beautiful Cheerios."

"Mmm, handsome ex-Cheerios too." She finished wiggling into the clothes and crawled out after him, grabbing a can of air freshener and liberally spraying the back. "I so don't want awkward comments about the car smelling like sex."

He laughed and took her hand, limping as they walked back into the hotel. "I love you."

"I love you too, now stop being so damn macho and lean on me," she shook her head, getting his arm over her shoulders and helping to support his bad knee, "I know you oughta be on your crutches right now. Come on. I don't care if Sue gets mad. I'm spending the night in your arms. Screw the damn Cheerios."

"I'm not letting you go back to that room with Brittany," he said, as he moved with her. He got inside and hit the elevator button and pulled the key card out of his bag. "Just don't wake your parents. I'm not explaining this."

"What's to explain? Half the time I sneak in to crash in my parents' room after competitions anyway." She smirked at him as the doors opened and they headed down the hall to her parents' room. "I can't sleep worth a damn with those noisy ass underclassmen around me. You being there this time is total bonus for me."

He smiled and put the bag down once they got into the room. He quickly went to take his medication and brush his teeth before he went back over to the bed silently and lifted the sheets for her. She smiled at him, crawling in between the cool sheets and opening her arms to wait for him to slide into bed with her. Once he was in the bed beside her, she wrapped an arm around his chest and rested her head on his shoulder.

"You tell anyone I'm this soft and I'll cut you," she teased with a yawn as she cuddled into his side. "Not that anyone would believe you anyway."

"Most people wouldn't believe I'm a boy now... so we're even." He smiled regretfully, "Go to sleep baby." He whispered, before closing his eyes and cuddling her close.

"You too," she yawned, her eyes falling closed and breathing evening out as she fell asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Graduation.

Santana stared in the mirror and adjusted the ridiculous white gown again. The last few weeks after Cheer Nationals had gone by in a blur. A lousy fourteenth place finish at Nationals for Glee without Quinn and doing her best to keep as far from Brittany as she possibly could and still be on the same stage.

It'd been in Seattle and she thought it'd been appropriate that it'd rained almost constantly the entire competition. Not that they'd been ready. _Again_. She wasn't surprised that they'd lost again when Schuester couldn't even be bothered to half-ass trying to prepare for the biggest competition of the year. The constant failure was almost reassuring in its familiarity by this point.

Santana took a deep breath as she fiddled with the white mortarboard and it's ridiculous red and white tassel. It was finally over. Her last class had been a week ago but standing in her bedroom in front of her mirror in the tacky polyester white gown made it feel more real.

No more making fun of Rachel - why bother calling her Berry when she probably wouldn't see her again unless her big nose got work on TV or in a movie? - and her absurd clothing choices. No more getting to sing with those losers in Glee. No more looking across the room at Quinn's empty desk in Trig and wondering how her boyfriend was doing.

No more Lima.

She sighed and settled the mortarboard on her carefully styled hair. As she lowered her hands, she adjusted her National Honor Society stole almost absentmindedly. She was nervous even if it was completely stupid. Not like more than a handful of the people there would ever even speak to her again - let alone _see_ her - if she didn't drag her ass back to a reunion. Not that she planned to.

Quinn moved closer to Santana. He had been watching her from the doorway for a few moments before heading into her bedroom. "You look so beautiful," he smiled, his eyes falling to her loosely curled hair and her light makeup.

He had decided on a simple pair of snug fitting black dress pants, a white shirt and a blue and black checked skinny tie. His hair was brushed to the side to make it straddle the line between masculine and feminine. He had his gown hung over his arm with his own NHS and in his hand he had two varsity pins.

"You need one of these." He explained as he moved closer to her and pinned it to her collar. "Perfect."

Santana looked up at him without her usual brash confidence. "Are we ready for this?" she asked softly. "I mean, next week we're looking at apartments with Blaine and Sam in Columbia." she shook her head, "I still can't believe that _none_ of us managed to get our applications for housing in in time to actually get rooms. But... it barely seems real, you know?"

"I'm actually really happy we don't have to be in the dorms," Quinn shrugged, not really wanting to tell her why. "But now I get to live with you," he smiled and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. "You're graduating 3rd in the class, you're brilliant and in a month we might be able to start living together without your parents." He reminded her, "Just remember that."

"I'd be valedictorian if it wasn't for that creepy geek in the A/V club with Wheels and your absurd brain," Santana teased. "And what's so bad about the dorms? It's not like we wouldn't have been roomies anyway," she shrugged, deciding the robe was fine and taking it off to reveal her simple black slacks and blouse.

"I wouldn't have been able to live with you," Quinn pointed out again. "They don't allow co-ed rooming," he said softly as he secured his gown over his clothing. He put the sash on and his hat and scowled, "This looks stupid."

Santana barely heard Quinn telling her they wouldn't have been allowed to room with each other if they'd been in the dorms as she moved to adjust the lay of his stole. "You look fine, but I agree. You'd look way hotter in the boys' red robes." She smoothed a hand down the front of his gown, "You always do look sexy as hell in red, after all."

"How about I go steal one?" he smiled. "I would prefer than anyway... not like people cared that I randomly disappeared from school for three months," he sighed and motioned to his still braced knee under his slacks. "You're the only reason I'm here today, San. Fuck everyone else."

"Freaking _Rachel_ noticed," Santana groused, annoyed with the attention the diminutive star of the loser club always focused on _her_ boyfriend - even when he'd been a she and barely even her friend. "And you know Puck asked about you. I think he's had a crush on you forever though." She leaned up and kissed him with a smirk, "You're mine though and he doesn't stand a chance against me. And what about your Gay Musketeers? Blaine and Sam?"

"Homoexplosion does not count. They see me all the time." He pouted, "Berry just was pissed you had to use Sugar as an alternate at Nationals with me gone..." He wrapped his arms around Santana, "I only care that you noticed I was gone... and that you came home to me."

"Berry's got an unhealthy obsession with being your _friend_," Santana scowled, thinking about it. "Sugar was already going to Nationals anyway. But of course I came home to you," she smirked, dropping the issue about Rachel, "you do _live_ with me after all." She ran a hand down between them, pausing at his waist, "Did you remember your friend? I want to give you a _special_ gift once you're a graduate and he's kinda important to my plans."

Quinn blushed slightly, "Yes... it's in my bag... I'll put it on after we graduate." He smiled, taking her hand and putting in under his robe. He rubbed her hand against his flaccid member, "But that will have to do for now."

"Aww," Santana teased, grinding her hips into him for a moment with a wink, "so much for a quicky before we go. I plan on making you feel like a man after graduation, baby, even if you are wearing one of these absurd white gowns." She licked her lips looking up at him, "Under the bleachers, robes still on... what do you think?"

"Sounds good." he smiled, "I'm always ready for you when you want me." He replied as he heard Santana's parents call them from downstairs. "We should bounce." He reached over and pulled on his Converse on.

Santana pulled on the only pair of flat soled non-sneaker shoes she owned - a pair of knee-high boots - and smirked at him. "I'm going to hold you to that, baby," she whispered, leaning in for a kiss before sauntering out of her bedroom with her cap, gown, purse and stole over her arm, fully aware of his eyes on her ass and the conspicuous absence of panty lines as she walked.

Quinn smiled and followed his girl down to meet up with her parents. He followed them to the car and nervously held Santana's hand as he watched the distance between the Lopez house and the school pass by. When they arrived, the parking lot was full and he saw many of his former classmates hugging and taking pictures.

"Are you meeting up with the glee kids?" He asked as he looked at Santana.

She frowned in confusion. "Why would I want to meet up with those losers? They still think that _Brittany_," she all but spat the name in disgust, "is still a sweet and innocent little girl whose heart _I_ tore all up. Fuck ﾑem. Anyone who wants to see me can come find me."

"Wanna meet up with the boys then?" He asked as he got out of the car and held the door open for her. "Sam texted me that they're outside the auditorium. They're dodging Kurt and Sam said they had some big news for us..."

"Seriously?" She asked getting out and picking up both of their regalia, before hugging her parents and letting them know they'd see them after things calmed down. "What are they doing now? Eloping to New York on us?"

"Who knows." Quinn smiled and waved at Santana's parents and took the girl's hand. Quinn lead them over to where she could see the boys, their bodies were close and Blaine was looking up into Sam's eyes. "Ew, gays..." He smirked as they walked over, "Shouldn't you be on Kurt look out not making out?"

Blaine pulled away and smiled back, "Lovely to see you, Santana." He said as he moved to kiss her cheek, "You look stunning. And no Quinn, we don't have to worry about Kurt anymore."

Santana raised a curious brow. "Why's that, Dapper Dan? He was about to chew actual carpets off the floor in Seattle a couple weeks ago."

"We told him." Sam smiled broadly as he pulled his man into his arms. "I told him that Blaine is mine that were gonna live together and that Kurt needs to step the fuck off."

"Wow, way to go, boys." Quinn smiled proudly, "I'm impressed both of you still have your eyes. He didn't try to claw them out?"

"Well, damn, I guess Q _didn't_ get all the balls in this trio," Santana teased, giving Sam a hug when he reached for her.

"Very funny, Santana. And well, things were not quite as _civil_ as we'd have liked, but Kurt wasn't about to risk his appearance with a physical altercation before graduation photos at the very least," Blaine pointed out.

"He's such a douche." Quinn sighed, "Oh wanna hear something fun?" Quinn said as he leaned against the brick wall. "Brittany and Kurt should be in cahoots together, she's as maniacal as he is..."

Blaine frowned, "What are you talking about?"

"Quinn," Santana whispered, biting her lip. She hated thinking about the night she'd had to hide in the bathroom from her best friend and wait for Quinn to come rescue her.

"Just... stay away from her okay? He's a cunt and should just rot in hell for all I care." Quinn spat, before gathering Santana in his arms. "She and Kurt deserve each other. They're both miserable and hateful."

"Wow," Sam whistled, eyes wide, "Britt seriously pissed in your cheerios."

"We'll stay away, but some day I'd like to know what's going on with that," Blaine looked worried and uncertain, especially when Santana did nothing to defend her former best friend but just cuddled into her boyfriend's arms.

"I'll tell you, you'll have to get me drunk first." Quinn sighed and kissed Santana's neck softly. "But yeah, I'm so glad to get out of here... though I really want a red robe."

"Don't say that around Kurt," Sam smirked, "He might try to oblige you and then San would have to kill him."

"Of course, if you'd asked him a few days ago, he'd probably have just swapped," Blaine snorted.

"Q," Santana whispered against his neck, breathing him in, "can we go and find our seats. I don't want to risk running into _her_ right now. I don't give a shit if that makes me chicken either."

"Aright." Quinn agreed softly, pressing a kiss to Santana's lips. "See you on the other side." he called back to the boys with a wave as they headed into the auditorium and looked around for their seats. "Here we go." He smiled, happy he wasn't too far away from Santana.

"Just a row. I like it." Santana spun her chair around to face her boyfriend after getting her gown on. "I'm so making you feel good after this you know," she whispered, smirking at him. "I'm glad these gowns open down the front, don't you?"

"Very, very excited about that." He smiled and looked at her adoringly. He pulled out his glasses and looked at the programme, "Ugh this is gonna take forever."

Santana laughed softly, "Good thing you're so far away then." She smirked at him, "I might get temped to play in your pockets if you weren't. Oh yeah," she reached into her purse and pulled out three different flavors of condoms, "which flavor would you prefer for when I kiss you after?"

He smirked and looked at them, "I think the mango one." He said as he winked at her, "I like how they make your lips taste."

She grinned at him as she put them away, "I'll keep that in mind." People started filing in so she leaned close before having to turn her chair back around, "Think you'll be up to taking me under the bleachers and pretending it's a football game later? Maybe we could sneak into the locker room after Sue's gone too." Winking as she pulled away, she spun her chair back around and pulled out her nail file, doing her best to ignore the people around her.

Quinn laughed softly and pulled his iPhone out and put in his earbuds, quietly listening to music as he waited for the ceremony to start. He was avoiding the murmurs and talking that were going on around him. He knew what people were probably saying but he didn't want to hear it.

Santana wasn't so lucky and scowling only worked on the people closest to her. They were all a bunch of idiots. It wasn't Quinn's fault he got the crap beat out of him, it was his asshole dad. And he wasn't a _lesbian_. That was Santana's title, thank you very much. But she couldn't actually correct any of them without blowing everything up in a way she was not prepared to deal with.

Quinn kept his head down and listen to his music to drown out the things that he didn't wanna hear. He only wanted to be here because Santana asked him too. He was there to fulfill his girlfriends wish to graduate together. It's not like he had family to come see him graduate. It's not like he knew if his mom was even _alive_ or if his father was going to come after him again. He was sure his sister had heard of his abandonment and he knew that she would write him off like everyone else did. He was only here, he was only alive, and he was only holding himself together because _Santana_ needed him too.

When Quinn didn't get up with his row, Santana reached back to squeeze his knee and get his attention. "Q, baby, your turn," she whispered, smiling at him.

She knew he didn't want to be there - that it was only because of her that he was - but she still wanted him to have the experience. Even if he did have to pretend to be a girl again. Every time she looked back and saw him sitting there, it made her heart beat a little faster and made it harder to keep the scowl on her face. Because he _loved_ her enough to be there. It felt amazing.

Quinn shoved his iPhone in his pocket and got up and walked up. He stood in front of of a girl from her history class who kept looking back and looking confused at Quinn. He sighed and stood up as straight as he could as he limped across the stage. He rolled his neck, he was next. Figgins, Sue and the creepy superintendent looked at her with mild confusion.

"Lucy Fabray," Figgins said as he looked to the former head cheerleader. Quinn limped towards them and Sue scowled, Quinn put his hand out and took the paper and shook his hand before limping past his former coach without so much of a glance.

She didn't care if they fucked up the name. _Her_ Quinn had graduated. Santana Lopez was going to damn well applaud as loud as she could. She put her fingers to the corners of her mouth and whistled loud, nearly laughing as she saw her dad, Blaine and Sam doing the same. When Quinn sat back down, she reached back and squeezed his knee.

"I'm so proud of you, baby," she whispered, grinning at him.

"Thanks," He smiled, before leaning back and kissing her cheek. "Now go get yours!" he smiled and smacked her ass as she headed up with her row. He leaned back and watched his lover get her much deserved diploma, clapping loudly and whistling when her name was called.

Heading up to get her diploma - and ignoring the shocked gasps from the idiots who thought she was just a pretty face like that _bitch_ that used to be her friend at the NHS stole around her neck - she only had eyes for the three people in the audience who meant anything. Her Mami and Papi and her Quinn. Smiling as bright as she could, she pumped her fist and flipped her tassel before heading back to her seat.

"Fuck all you bitches," she crowed, dropping into her seat after dropping a kiss on her boyfriend, "I graduated!"

"I'm so proud of you." He crooned as he leaned forward to wrap his arms around her shoulders and stayed like that the rest of the ceremony.

* * *

><p>After the final toss of the ugly-ass mortarboards, Santana grabbed Quinn and dragged him out of the school towards the stadium before her parents could find them. "Baby, I hope to God you put your friend on when you went to the bathroom after graduating because I want you so bad right now."<p>

He pressed himself into her and smirked, "Do you even have to ask?"

"Oh good," she breathed, pulling him under the bleachers and pushing him up against one of the supports. Dropping to her knees in front of him she pulled his gown open, the silly snaps giving easily under her demanding hands as she went for his belt and pants. Tugging them down just enough to pull him out, she stroked him while looking up at him with a smirk, "Graduation sex, baby. What do you think?"

She slipped the mango flavored condom from her purse and ripped the package open with her teeth before sliding it over him. "God I wish you could feel this," she whispered, licking her lips with her eyes on the cock bobbing in her grasp, her fingers sliding along his length.

"Shit, baby." He groaned as he watched her take his length into her mouth. "So fucking hot." He said as he scooped up a handful of hair and started guiding her mouth. "I love when those lips wrap around my dick."

She moaned along his length, reaching up to grip his ass as she bobbed her head up and down him, fingers stroking the remaining length she couldn't take and pressing his cock back into his body. She slid off and stroked up the bottom with her tongue as she watched him. "I wish you could feel all this, baby. Not just see it. I wish you could come in my mouth so I could swallow you down..."

"Someday," he groaned. "God, I love you so much," he breathed, pulling her up. "I wanna fuck you so bad, San."

She smirked at him, pressing into his body. "I was hoping you'd say that," she breathed, taking one of his hands and sliding it into her gown where she'd popped it open and under her short skirt. She spread her legs, pressing his hand into the pool of want dripping from her core, "Happy Graduation, baby. How do you want me?"

He pushed her up against a support, took his cock in his hand and quickly sheathed himself inside her. "LIke this."

She gasped at being so suddenly and roughly filled, but her legs wrapped around her hips and she smiled. "I like that," she breathed, grabbing a cross-support above her to give a little more leverage to grind her hips into him, her walls rippling along the cock filling her as if they could pull it deeper. "You should show me some of those cheerleading fantasies of yours, baby," she gasped, "Fuck me like you wanted to whenever I'd piss you off... be rough with me, Q. I love it."

"We don't have time," He grunted, his hips pushing into her quickly, "Sue has cheerio auditions soon, remember?" He moaned into her neck before pulling her earlobe into his mouth and nibbling on it.

She panted into his ear, fingers digging into the support in her hands as he fucked her. "W-wouldn't that be even better?" she gasped, "You, her lost protege, fucking me, her former captain, right under her feet? Almost in f-front of the whole s-squad... your big dick s-slamming my pussy... m-making me _beg_ to c-come the way you always _wanted_ me to beg you on the field..."

He moaned and sped up his hips, barely even able to formulate a response to her words. "I wanted you to scream my name, not beg," he growled, his lips moving down to nip and suck at her neck. "I wanted you to scream my name as I fucked you into submission."

"F-first you'd have to make me _submit_," Santana groaned, rolling her hips to meet his body with a wet slap every time he thrust into her. "M-make me scream, Q," she gasped breathlessly, feeling his head slapping her cervix with a low moan.

He bit down on her shoulder and thrust harder, "You're mine. No one else's. Remember that every time some college boy or girl looks at you like they wanna fuck you. Remember how I feel buried deep inside you."

"Everyone looks at me like they wanna fuck me," Santana growled in his ear as she got closer and closer to orgasm. "Some of them _have_," she challenged, daring him to be rougher, "L-like _Puck_. He liked to fuck both holes. God," she panted, trying to push Quinn to jealousy to get him to fuck her as possessively as she wanted, "it's almost like I can _still_ feel him slamming my ass!"

"That's because you used to be a whore," he hissed as he pulled almost totally out of her. "You let anyone fuck you to try to make you happy." He moved his thumb down to touch her clit. "Now..." He pushed in another inch. "Now you're my little whore."

"That all I am?" she panted, struggling to hold off her climax, her body shaking with the effort. "That all I am to you, Q? Just some _w-whore_? Some _hole_ to be _f-fucked_? B-bet you brag about me to your boys like all the other guys then!"

He leaned in. "You're my glory hole," he said as he thrust inside her hard, "I can fuck you whenever and however I want and you're willing."

That hurt. Her lips tightened and she looked away from him, letting her body release with a gasp. She could handle being called a whore - so many people did it barely meant anything to her anymore. But being nothing more than a _glory hole_ - especially coming from _Quinn_ - that hurt more than any other insult she'd had thrown at her.

"Oh," she whispered when her body recovered enough to let her move. She pulled off of him with a shudder, her feet landing back on the ground with a soft thud as she let go of the brace. "Glad to know my place."

Quinn stood back, "Wait... San." He panted, "I was playing... you said those things about Puck... I thought you wanted me to talk like that..." He looked at the ground, hating the thought of her hating him.

"I just," she shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest and feeling stupid and hurt, "I just wanted you to say things like I belonged to you or just, you know, take me harder. I didn't... I'm just a _glory hole_ to you? Just some nasty fucking hole in the wall in some dirty ass porn store? God..."

Quinn tucked himself away, "Then don't talk about Puck fucking your ass!" He snapped, "You think I wanna hear about that? The girl I love with other people? You know for a fact I don't think about you like that."

"No, I don't," she whispered, rubbing at her arms and looking down. "I mean, I _want_ to, but fuck, Q, you _know_ I've got shit experience with good relationships. And people tend to say what they really mean in the heat of things. Like when Berry told me the only future I've got is working a damn stripper pole. Yeah, she apologized and all later, but fuck... she still meant it."

"No, the fact that you actually think I could mean that..." Quinn looked at her with disbelief. "You were pushing me to be possessive. You pushed me to be rougher with you, I don't wanna talk to you like that, I don't want to treat you like that but you get off harder with it, so I wanted to make you happy!"

"Possessive doesn't have to mean insult me!" She finally cried, turning around and letting him see how much it hurt, "You could have just told me you loved me! That I'm yours! That I'm _not_ a whore anymore because I belong to _you_! You could have told me what you wanted to do to me or just told me to _shut the fuck up_! Yeah, I like dirty talk sometimes. But you know want to know what really gets me off _harder_?" her lips firmed as she steeled herself to lash out at the last person she wanted to. "When your damn _dick_ isn't in the fucking picture."

He stopped, his eyes dropped to the ground as he processed what she just said. "Bet you hate that my tits got cut off too," he said, his voice staying at a eerily calm tone.

"Maybe I do," she ground out, her heart breaking with every word. "I'm a _lesbian_ after all, Quinn. I love _girls_, as my mother _keeps_ pointing out. What kind of lesbian falls for a _guy_, huh?" _One that loves him,_ whispered a little voice in the back of her head, but she quickly squashed it.

He was a Fabray. Emotion wasn't something he did, so all the pain in hearing her talk about his body... about who he _was_ got pushed back, pushed away. "So... what? You pretend I'm a chick when we fuck? Remember what I looked like not who I _am_?" he asked coldly, his shaking hands unhooking his harness and throwing it in his backpack.

"Yeah." That lie tore the remaining shards of her heart from her body and left her as an empty shell, but her Lopez pride wouldn't let her show her pain the the person who hurt her. "That beautiful _girl_ I used to know. God I loved imagining playing with those pretty little tits of hers." She thought she was going to be sick at the look on Quinn's face at her words, but she forced herself to keeping going, "Or tongue-fucking her. Feeling her walls clamping down on my tongue as I make her come."

"Shut up," Quinn snapped, his head jerking up. "Just shut up."

"Why?" Her voice shook slightly so she took a deep breath, cursing herself for letting that trace of how much she wanted to just crumple to the ground and cry forever out, "I'm only lovable when I'm a _whore_, right? When I'm a _glory hole_? Letting you _use_ me whenever and however you want? _Right_? That's all you wanted me for anyway!"

"I took that too far," he said, guilt written all over his face. "And I love you more than anything..." he swallowed, "But right now... Santana, the words you're saying," he wiped his eyes with the heel of his palm, "hurt more than anything my dad ever did to me. I wish I was a girl for you. I wish I could give you that." He looked down again before ripping his robe off and throwing it to the ground.

"Well," Santana breathed, watching him and just knowing what was happening, but unable to stop herself, "you're not now, are you? And you didn't fucking _want_ me when you _were_ a girl anyway, so what's it fucking _matter_, huh?"

"I..." His voice cracked, "I thought you understood. I didn't _choose_ this!"

"What did _I_ choose, Q?" She couldn't look at him anymore without breaking down. "I didn't _choose_ to be a lesbian. I didn't even get to _choose_ to come out when I wanted to. I sure as hell didn't _choose_ to have my mom pointing out _but I thought you were gay, sweetie_ every time she saw us together. I didn't choose _any_ of that, Quinn. Life's not _about_ your choices. It's about living with whatever the next asshole _chooses_ to do _to_ you."

"You're the asshole whose treating me like shit right now." Quinn murmured, "I'm sorry if I'm a guy. You're right, if you're gay what are you doing with me? You don't like my dick, you sure as hell aren't acting like my girlfriend anymore... so what do you want from me?"

"I don't know," she whispered, dragging her gaze up to meet his again. "You've always known who I am, Quinn. Don't say any of this surprises you." She shook her head, barely holding things together.

"Just break up with me like all the other _guys_ you've dated..." he said coldly, "I'm not what you want." His voice caught in his throat and he couldn't look at her anymore. He felt his whole world falling apart as he spoke.

"What, you mean _Puck_?" She scoffed, "No way. You want out, _you_ say it. Oh wait, didn't you already tell me I'm not _acting like your girlfriend_? Not even good enough to _act_ like your girlfriend anymore, huh."

"I said I love you," he said simply. "I don't want to lose you... but the way you're talking, San." He took a breathing pushing his feelings back. "I... you said you don't like being with me. That you think about how I used to look... that I made a choice to be like this."

"I love you too," she whispered, her eyes bright with tears she was refusing to shed, "but I'm not supposed to. I'm not supposed to fall for a guy, Quinn."

"Yeah..." He sighed, scuffing his feet. "I get it."

She shook her head, "I don't think you do. Fuck, I don't. But I don't know how to explain..."

"You want a girl..." he swallowed, "you can't deny who you are."

"I don't know what I want," she shrugged, looking miserable, "Brittany made me define myself as a lesbian. Fucking _Finn_ made me have to come out as one to my family... how does loving a guy fit in that?"

"Sometimes you have to deal." He shrugged, "I wasn't ready to be like this to the world, but I had to be and I'm happy to be with you. You just can't let other people make decisions on how you live."

"I have to deal?" Santana's eyes went wide as she felt his words like a slap. "Up until a few months ago, Quinn, as far as I knew, _you were a girl_! I spent my _whole fucking life_ thinking you were a goddamn girl! And the one time - the _one_ fucking time - I was brave enough to let you know how much I liked you, you didn't tell me the truth, you just shut me out again and broke my fucking _heart_! You're _happy_ to be with me? What the fuck does that even _mean_, Q? You'd be happier if I was still thinking you were just another girl who _didn't fucking want me_ and never knew the truth about you at all!"

"I'm sorry if I didn't tell you something that I thought might get me killed... oh wait, maybe I had reasons too!" He snapped, "Maybe the whole you being with Britt or Puck or Finn threw me off and maybe I didn't think you'd ever love a freak!" he ran his hand through his hair and tugged out of frustration, "I'm not going to say sorry for being scared, neither should you. But can you even hear what you're saying to me? Telling me about how you hate my dick and picture someone who was fake when we sleep together? I can't live with that."

"Being with Brittany or Puck or fucking _Finn_?" Santana stared at him incredulously, "God _dammit_, Quinn! When have I _ever_ given up one of your secrets? Even when we weren't even _friends_ I kept your damn secrets! I never would have done anything to hurt you, but you didn't _trust_ me." She sniffed, wiping at her face with the back of her hand, "You're the first person I told I might like girls. Even before Brittany. And I was so fucking terrified that you'd hate me, but I told you. Because I _trusted_ you, Quinn. I _still_ trust you that much," she blinked back tears, shaking her head, "but I _know_ you don't trust me. And I know you'd be happier if I'd never found out. That's what _I_ have to live with. Knowing the person I love doesn't fucking _trust me_."

"You are so selfish." Quinn stood astonished. "I've... I don't even know how you think this secret was anyone's business but mine. Being stuck in a different body, being _transgender_ is fucking different than being gay." He stated, "We might be in the acronym but we're not the same and our experiences are not the same!" He kicked a rock away from them and groaned, "I can't believe you think I don't trust you... I came to you, I told you everything and I gave you everything."

"Like you did Sam and Blaine?" she whispered, still stung that the boys knew well before she did. "Like you did _Kelly_? Whatever, Quinn. Would you have ever told me if I hadn't come onto you like the drunken slut jealous you had the attention of someone I liked that I was that night? Or would you have just let me walk right out of your life thinking you were that girl I once had a crush on?"

"Sam only knew because we were being forced to date, and Sam blabbed to Blaine when they hooked up because he thought he helped Sam cheat." He groaned, "Look, I messed up. I should have told you but I didn't know how. I didn't want you going home with anyone random. I didn't want you to get hurt by someone."

"A bit late for that," Santana snorted with an unhappy laugh. "This so stupid. Do you know how often I used to wish you were a guy so we could date and it'd be okay? Brittany used to get so mad at me because I'd call your name sometimes when she was going down on me. She made me decide I was a lesbian because it pissed her off when I'd watch you and she knew your dad would make you stop being around me." She licked her lips looking at Quinn and asking for understanding for once, "Before that... I didn't care. Boys, girls, freaking shrubs shaped like people. I liked all of it. I wouldn't have doubted for a second. But I got outted to the state by this label she made me wear because like an idiot I thought I was in love with her."

"I wasn't," she shrugged, "but wishing your captain is a guy doesn't usually fly. That's how stupid I am, Q. I want to say I've loved you almost as long as I've known you but... how long _have_ I known you? A few months? You said it yourself, the girl I knew was a _fake_. And please stop saying I hate your dick," she rolled her eyes, unwilling to exactly apologize, but unbending enough to clarify. "I just said I get off harder without it. That doesn't mean I hate it, just that your tongue and fingers are fucking awesome."

"You said really hurtful things... you said that you think about how I was." He sighed, "Santana, I don't care what Brittany did... to you... or me." he rubbed his eyes, "I don't care, because I need to figure out who I am... and you need to figure out who you are." he looked down, "Maybe it will be fine."

"So... so what?" Santana felt like the ground had suddenly been pulled away from under her feet and she was in free-fall as she swallowed, "We... we're over? This is it?" Her jaw worked as she looked away, forcing herself to smile, "I think about the girl who was my _best fucking friend_ and I had the worst crush on sometimes and I'm the bad guy. Well, excuse me for being gay, Quinn! I'm so sorry I'm attracted to women! So sometimes I have wet dreams about that girl you were and I fucking miss her, okay? She was my best friend!" She shook her head, "My _only_ real friend. I love women, Quinn. That's not your fault. But don't you fucking judge me for it because I'm not the one who decided we were through."

She thought she was going to be sick as she quickly turned and walked away, trying to move fast enough that Quinn wouldn't see the tears streaking her face or how hard she had to struggle to keep walking instead of just collapsing where she was. It was a sickening feeling losing Quinn and she didn't even want to try and think about how she was going to get through it.

"I'm sorry I'm not what you need," Quinn whispered as he pushed a tear away watching her walk away.

He kicked his gown and walked away from the football field. He had come with the Lopez's and knew he'd never be able to go back there now that he hurt their daughter. It took nearly an hour to walk to the house and slip in his car and pull out of the driveway, but he drove until the sun started to set before pulling into a commuter parking lot and crawling into the back seat. He pulled off his tie and grabbed a blanket. Pulling it over his body, he curled into himself and cried.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Santana had been miserable on the drive home, ignoring her parents' questions as to where Quinn was and what had happened. She'd begged off of dinner, claiming to be too tired after the festivities of graduation and had just gone up to her room. Stripping out of her clothes and showering didn't make her feel any better so she'd curled up in her empty bed under the blankets and hugged the pillow Quinn had used whenever he'd snuck into her room after a nightmare.

A whiff of the scent of his skin mingled with a faint trace of the cologne he liked to use hit her nose and broke through her determined focus to not cry. Burying her face in the pillow as the fact they were over hit her, she sobbed, her breath coming in broken pants as she shook. Eventually, exhausted by everything, she fell asleep, still wrapped around the pillow.

When she woke up the next morning, her first thought was that she felt _awful_ for not having drank anything the night before. Her second thought was an almost overwhelming need to apologize for the crap she'd been saying. She got up, rubbing tiredly at her eyes as she stumbled to her closet to pull on a pair of Cheerio sweats and a sports bra. Grabbing a shirt on her way out of her room, she headed across the hall to Quinn's room.

"Look, Q, about yesterday, I'm so-" she stopped as the door finished swinging open, revealing the empty room.

Her eyes darted to the bed, but it was still neatly made as if no one had slept in it. Biting her lip, she pulled the shirt on over her head and headed downstairs. A quick glance out the front window as she passed it gripped her heart in a frightened squeeze as she noticed the absence of his car. Sticking her head in the kitchen, she looked around but the only person in there was her mom at the stove.

"Mami, have you seen Quinn?" she asked, starting to get worried.

Maria shook her head with a little shrug. "No, I am sorry. Perhaps he stayed out with his friends? You know how boys can be."

"Yeah," Santana smiled lopsidedly, not wanting to admit they'd broken up, "I'm sure that's it. Hey, can I borrow the car?"

She thought about it for a moment, "Yes. You know where the keys are and be careful. Not all of your former classmates went home with their parents like you last night."

"Not a problem. They're all probably passed out somewhere. I'll be back later. Love you, Mami," she shrugged, kissing the woman's cheek before heading out.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, the worry she'd felt when she couldn't find Quinn after waking up had turned into something a lot more akin to panic. She'd checked everywhere she knew that he might go. Neither Blaine or Sam had seen him and even Kelly just shrugged in confusion when she'd asked. He wasn't answering his phone or responding to messages.<p>

She pulled over to the side of the road when her vision started getting too blurry to drive. "Where are you, Q?" she whispered, staring blankly out the windshield of her car at the passing cars. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry I said those things. Please just where are you..."

* * *

><p>Quinn sat curled up in the back of his car. His pain medications had worn our a few hours prior and his insomnia and paranoia were too bad to let him fall back asleep on his own. He clutched his phone and dialed every number, of every relative that he remembered searching for his mom. He even called his sister who promptly screamed at him and called him every disgusting name she knew.<p>

He threw his phone up to the front of the car and curled into a ball. He was parked in the parking lot of the bar where he had picked Santana up in. He didn't know where else to go.

When Blaine pulled into the bar's parking lot and saw Quinn's car parked in the back corner, he let out a sigh of relief. Sending a quick text to Sam that he'd found him, he pulled into the spot next to the red car and hopped out. Seeing the boy shivering in the back seat, he knocked on the window.

"Q? Hey, let me in."

Quinn's body jumped when he heard a knock on the door. He looked up, and wiped his tear swollen red eyes before pushing his blanket aside and opening the door for Blaine. Quinn pulled his good knee to his chest and hugged it. "Hey," he said softly, his voice rough with emotion.

"Hey," Blaine whispered, taking in how beat up the boy looked with a wince, crawling into the car, he shut the door behind him. "You okay? Santana's going pretty crazy looking for you, you know."

"I don't really care _what_ she's doing." He said monotone, his eyes fixated on the seat in front of him. "She's the reason I'm homeless again."

"Oh," Blaine sat there for a moment, just keeping Quinn company. "What... what happened? If you don't mind me asking. Santana wasn't exactly forthcoming with any details..."

"She decided to go full on bitch." He sighed, "She's not straight. She more or less told me it was _unfair_ that I got to live with the fact I was forced to be in this body and she just found out." he rolled his eyes. "Oh, and that she doesn't like having sex with my dick and she pretends I'm how I used to look. That her mom thinks she's not being gay enough by being with a tranny."

He winced. "Ouch. Harsh. So she just... snapped on you? I mean, I thought you two were doing pretty good when we saw you before the ceremony."

"She kept pushing me to be possessive in sex, so when we snuck out to do it after graduation I was trying to give her what she keep pushing me for," he groaned. "I only went to the graduation for fucking _her_. I didn't even want to go and have everyone judge me."

"Yeah, that was pretty obvious," Blaine teased, nudging him with his shoulder, "I mean, Sam was just two seats down the row from you and you completely ignored him. So she likes it when you're possessive of her. What's the big deal? Most guys like it when their partner wants them to possess them. I know _I_ find it sexy as hell."

"I was going along with her..." He sighed, "She got offended when I repeated back something she said! Then she started freaking out at me."

"Seriously?" He looked confused, trying to puzzle out how that could make any sense. "If she said it, why would she get offended? That doesn't make any sense, Q."

"I don't know! I was going along with what she wanted." He blinked away tears. "She said some really bad stuff..." He swallowed, "She's gay and I'm not a willing to be a girl for her so we broke up."

Blaine blinked at him, stunned. "Wait... you broke up? Seriously? Over one fight? With _Santana_? You two are _always_ fighting. What'd she say that was so awful?"

"Pretty much told me that it's not fair that I get to be a boy and she still has to be gay. That I have it so easy because I get to be a boy." He scoffed, "She equated her being outted by Finn to me being almost killed by my dad. That she had a no choice but to come out... like I fucking did? She's pissed that you and Sam knew before her, but that's because you wanted to date Sam. She doesn't understand how hard being _me_" he air quoted, "is. That she can be gay and no one had to know, but I can't be a man and a girl at the same time and my dad decided that I get to be one all the time now."

"Oh," he breathed, taking it all in. "Wow. That's... that's really harsh. I could _try_ and defend her by maybe understanding being hurt you didn't feel like you could tell her who you really are, but she went way over the line. _Way_ over."

"I understand that she's hurt," Quinn sighed, "but she's not understanding or even _listening_ to me." He shrugged. "I spent all night trying to call everyone one I know to try to find my mom," he admitted. "I'm not welcome here anymore."

Blaine raised a surprised eyebrow, "Since when? Maybe you forgot, but Sam and I are still here and we still want you around. Heck, so is Kelly. And maybe Santana's being a bitch, but she really seemed upset when she came by looking for you."

"I'm not you and Sam's problem." he sighed, "I just... I just want my mom." He whispered, "I want her to tell me that she loves me and that no matter what I am... what I look like, she loves me... even if it's not true."

"Look, Q, you're not our _problem_, you're our _friend_," he sighed, reaching over to pull Quinn into an awkward one armed hug. "And you're not really going to let one fight run you out of town, are you? The Quinn I know is one hell of a lot braver than that." He nodded with a little shrug. "Yeah, you want your mom. I get that. Everyone does when they're hurting and you're hurting pretty bad, but do you even know where to start looking?"

"No..." he sighed. "I just don't belong _anywhere_." He blinked, "She's the only reason I'm still alive and then she fucking tore my whole body apart... again." he grumbled, "Fucking Santana."

"Yeah, she's an idiot, but her being a bitch doesn't make you not belong here, Q. Besides, you know Santana. She tears people down whenever the bee in her bonnet stings her." Blaine shrugged, "It's just who she is."

"But, I love her," he whimpered sadly. "She doesn't want me when I look like this..."

Blaine shook his head. "That's stupid, Quinn. Forget what stupid crap came out of her mouth last night - and I guarantee you it was stupid crap - and think about how she _acts_ around you. She's not that good an actress, Q. She cares about you."

"She's a lesbian and she wants to be with a girl." He shrugged, looking out the window. "Maybe I should just be a girl..."

"I'm not gonna pretend to know what Santana wants, but would being a girl make _you_ happy?"

"I'm not happy... what's the difference anymore?" He looked up, his face drained of color.

Blaine sighed, shrugging. "I don't know, Q. Is she that important to you?"

"I don't know anymore..." He shrugged, "I'm tired... my knee hurts like a bitch and I just kinda wanna curl up in a ball and die."

"Well, how about I take you home?" He asked, "Sam went and got your meds from the Lopez house while Santana was running around searching for you. You know my mom loves you. Just come home with me, have dinner, stay for at least the night and maybe things will look better in the morning."

"Okay." He said softly, "If it's okay..."

"It's definitely okay. You want to leave this here for now? Sam and I can come get it while you're sleeping if you want," Blaine asked, sliding out of the car and reaching in to help Q out with his bad knee.

"Okay..." He said softly, sliding out and grabbing his cellphone and backpack. He limped behind Blaine, he was thankful for his friend's kindness but he still wanted nothing more than to go back to the place he had been calling home since he got out of the hospital and see Santana.

* * *

><p>Quinn sat at the dimly lit bar. He hadn't been back since the time he and Santana hooked up at the motel, back before everything fell apart. He nursed his beer as Blaine talked to him about the apartments he had and Sam had found for the three of them for college, nodded slowly as he listened to his friend talk.<p>

He hadn't even tried really hard to work on passing that night. A simple pair of jeans and a hoodie adorned his slim figure. It had been two days since graduation. He had spent the first night in his car and the second with the Anderson's. He took another long pull out of his bottle and looked around.

* * *

><p>Santana didn't know where Quinn was when she slipped into the bar. After two days of no contact from him on any level, she was starting to accept that he didn't want to talk to her ever again. It made her heart ache every time the thought crossed her mind that she'd never see him again, so eventually she decided to come down to the bar. She knew she'd get enough suckers to buy her drinks to numb the ache of losing the one person who'd ever really loved her through her own stupid mouth and if she was really lucky, Kelly would be there and single.<p>

She was dressed in her best "drink getter" - a slinky black number with fuck-me-heels that accentuated her toned legs perfectly. The regulars knew she never went home with anyone wearing that, but the new girls always though they had a chance. When she spotted Kelly at the bar alone, she did her best to smirk like she used to as she sauntered up to her.

Kelly sipped her vodka and cranberry as she watched Santana saunter over to her. "Hey, San," she said as she tried to not let her eyes rake over the girl's body. "I thought you'd show up sooner or later..."

Santana smirked as she leaned on the bar beside her, accepting the gin and tonic from the red-head down the bar with a nod and a salute with the glass. "Yeah, well, what can I say? I'm a creature of habit." She let her eyes travel over the woman's short skirt and blouse combo, "And you're a habit I'd like to cultivate tonight if you're interested."

"What happened, San?" Kelly asked as she looked at her sort of friend.

She couldn't keep the flicker of pain of her face, but she quickly hardened with a shrug, slamming back her drink. "What's it matter? He can't be a girl for me and it's all over, so you want to fuck me or should I try to find someone else?"

"You're not going home with anyone else, San," Kelly said softly as she reached out and took Santana's hand. "Look, we don't need to talk about it because I see that you're hurting... but you knew how he felt about his body when you started dating him."

Santana shook her head sharply, "Don't you think I know all that? What? Did he get to you first?" Her jaw worked as she blinked, looking away to glare down at the fresh glass in her hand. "Fuck, Kelly... I know I screwed up okay? Can we... I just want to forget. I don't want to fucking talk about it."

"I haven't seen or talked to Quinn in weeks, San." She said softly, almost sadly. "I know this is hard for you..." She leaned over and pushed a piece of hair behind Santana's ear. "I wanna be a friend for you okay?"

* * *

><p>Across the bar Quinn's eyes locked on them. He wasn't sure who he felt more betrayed by. When he watched <em>his<em> Santana lean in and apparently kiss Kelly he nearly broke his bottle with the sheer force of the clench of his hand.

* * *

><p>"I don't know if I deserve a friend," Santana whispered as she pulled back, her eyes bright with tears she didn't want to shed. "I just want to <em>not feel<em> for a little while, Kelly. Please..."

"I know, it hurts, sweetie," Kelly sighed and flagged them down another two drinks. "You're entitled to your feelings," she said as she took a sip of her glass. "I can't do anything to make you feel better, San. You know that. I'm not who you want."

"I don't _want_ to feel _better_," Santana growled, taking a large swallow and relishing the burn as it slid down her throat. "I just want to _not_ feel. And who the fuck cares if you're not who I want. Who I want doesn't fucking want me. Or at least doesn't want to fucking _try_ to want me. At least you do."

Kelly looked at Santana like she was crazy. She took a drink and looked away trying to comprehend what Santana was even saying. She shook her head and quickly understood why Quinn might have gotten mad and left the fiery girl. "Do you wanna get out of here, San?"

"Yes," she snapped, dropping her drink to the bar, nearly spilling the last bit left in it. "That's what I've been _saying_ since I got in here. Can we just go?" She looked around and bit her lip to try not to cry, "I don't want to be in here anymore. It reminds me of _him_."

Kelly rolled her eyes at Santana's sarcastic elaboration of _him_. She paid the bartender and got up, taking Santana's hand and walking towards the the door. What they didn't notice was Quinn glaring at them as they walked out of the bar.

* * *

><p>"I hate them." Quinn hissed as he reached over and downed his vodka shot. "They can have each other."<p>

"What?" Blaine asked confusedly, looking over at him, "Who? What's going on?"

"Santana's already replaced me." He looked up and pointed Blaine to Santana and Kelly.

"With _Kelly_?" He raised a brow as he watched them walk out. "Q, we really gotta work on your paranoia..."

"They kissed... They've fucked countless times before me. And now that I'm gone?" He sighed and pounded another shot. "Whatever."

* * *

><p>Santana was way too wasted to drive. She'd known she was going to be, so she'd taken a taxi to the club instead of driving. She had money for a motel room, but she'd been hoping Kelly would be there.<p>

"So, your car or we can get a room at the place down the street? It's kinda shitty, but it's a bed." She tried to smirk, tried to treat what was happening as a business transaction and nothing more. She wavered slightly on her heels in the gravel of the parking lot as they moved towards Kelly's car.

"Why don't you just come to my place?" Kelly said softly as she helped Santana into the car. "Get you something to sleep in and stuff," she said as she slipped in herself and turned on the ignition.

Santana scoffed. "What are you talking about, Kelly? You don't invite people back to your place. You're kinda known for it. Don't screw around, we can just use the backseat if you don't wanna get a motel room. Not like we haven't before..."

Kelly just started driving towards her house. "I want you to come over," Kelly said softly after a few moments of driving. "I don't wanna go to a hotel."

"Don't pity me," she finally growled after a long moment. "Don't pity me because I fucked up with Quinn, Kelly. Don't you dare. You don't take fucks home with you and that's all I am, so stop playing around."

"Stop bitching, Santana," Kelly snapped. "You're my friend so I'm bringing you to my house... or I can take you to _your_ house. Whatever you prefer." She said with a pointed looking knowing how much Santana's parents would be pissed if Santana came home this trashed.

Santana stared out the window. "I don't want to go home," the words came out sullen and unhappy. "I came out looking for you because I didn't want to be there. But I'm not your friend. I'm not anyone's friend. The only people I ever thought were my friends turned out to be a crazy, possessive bitch and a complete lie."

Kelly just sighed, very familiar with angsty drunk Santana. She drove towards her place and parked in the driveway. She got out of the car and offered her hand to Santana when she came over to her side of the car.

Santana took her hand and let her pull her up, following her up the stairs to her apartment before she spoke again. "Why are you being nice to me?" she asked softly. "I don't deserve anyone being nice to me after all the stupid shit I said to Quinn. I was a total bitch, yeah, but I can't even apologize it was so awful..."

Kelly shrugged and unlocked her door. "Because you were my friend first," she said softly. "Quinn is my friend, but Quinn also hurt me and you're here looking for friendship and he's not."

"Doesn't mean he won't. And what could he do to hurt you?" Santana frowned, her alcohol-soaked brain not processing things as quickly as she wanted.

Kelly just shrugged and backed Santana into the door. She pressed their lips together, relieved by the instant rekindling of their connection. It had been a while for her and Santana, and the women that she had slept with since hadn't matched up.

This was what she wanted, Santana reminded herself as she let Kelly press her into the door. She wanted the older woman to take her and make the memories of Quinn's lips and hands and body go away. She brought her hands up to tangle in Kelly's hair and pull her closer, lips opening to suck in a questing tongue.

She did her best to ignore how wrong it felt to be kissing someone who wasn't Quinn. To have soft breasts instead of the scarred smooth plane of Quinn's chest pressing against hers. To have hands just slightly too soft sliding up her thigh, pushing her dress up. She tried her best to ignore the tears trickling down her cheeks as she moved to kiss a smooth neck that smelled like jasmine and baby powder instead of Old Spice.

Kelly felt the other girl's tears as they kissed. "San," she whispered as she pulled away, her thumbs pushing away her tears. "Don't cry..."

"I'm not," Santana whispered, trying to lean in and kiss her again. She wanted to kiss her. She felt almost whole when she was kissing her. It didn't matter if she was just a little too short or her lips were just a little too full to fit perfectly or if she tasted of spearmint chewing gum and cranberry juice rather than than cherry throat lozenges and mint lip balm. "Don't be ridiculous. Come on, I be's tryings to get my mack on here..."

Kelly kissed Santana back and scratched at the back of her neck as they tried to hold onto a feeling that wasn't there. They were trying so hard, but Kelly knew... they both knew that nothing was right.

Santana reached up to press her hand to Kelly's chest, sliding a leg up to rest against her hip and pull her close, but it didn't matter. Nothing made her forget him and the more she tried, the more she remembered. The way he held her. The way he treated her like she was something special.

"I fucked up, Kelly," she whispered, giving up on trying to push for a physical connection she was starting to realize wouldn't happen as she slumped back against the door. "I fucked up so bad..."

Kelly gathered the small girl in her arms and brought her through the small apartment and laid with her on the bed. She curled up behind her and rubbed Santana's back. "Talk to me..."

"I love him," she whispered, curling in on herself, tears streaking her face. "I love him so much and I said awful things. I don't even know why I said them! I just... I hurt! I was hurting and I wanted him to feel as bad as I was and... God, I was such a _bitch_, Kelly!"

"Tell me what you said.. and more importantly, _why_ you said it." She asked softly knowing the kinds of things that Santana might have said.

She took a shaky breath, trying to remember everything she'd said. "I... I told him I come harder without his dick... I... I told him I think about him as a girl sometimes, that... that I'm a _lesbian_ and I'm not supposed to fall for guys!" She sobbed brokenly, the comfort of being held mixing with the alcohol in her system to destroy her willpower, "He called me a _glory hole_, Kelly. Just some nasty hole anyone could fuck. I just wanted him to tell me I belonged to him... that I was _his_... that I _wasn't_ just some w-_whore_ like everyone says I am..."

"Quinn wouldn't just say that... why did he call you that? Were you fighting?" She asked as she rubbed Santana's back.

She shook her head, unable to look at Kelly. "N-no... no. We were... he was," she swallowed, "he was fucking me under the bleachers. I... he told me he used to fantasize about taking his aggression out on me - like, sexually, you know? - when I'd get him mad when he used to be co-captain with me. I just... I wanted to make him mad so he could have his fantasy. It was a stupid lie..."

"So he was playing." Kelly was relieved, the other words didn't sound like Quinn. "So he was just pretending to be angry?"

"I don't know... I shouldn't have told him I let Puck fuck me in the ass," she swallowed, feeling sick. "I never let _anyone_ do that, you know me... b-but he... he said I was a whore... that I was _his_ whore. I... I shouldn't have asked if that's all I was... I shouldn't have," her breath caught in her throat. "I should have known he'd say it was... I should have known..."

"Santana, you are not stupid," Kelly said. "You know that boy. He doesn't think that, he was going along with your game. He'd do anything you ask of him!"

"I know!" Santana sobbed, "I was stupid, okay? I just... he... he fucking scares me okay!" She finally raised her head to look at Kelly, "He scares me... what do I do if I let him all the way in and he breaks me like _she_ did? I can't deal with that, I just can't... I don't... I'm a lesbian, Kelly, I'm not supposed to fall for guys! I don't want to be his fucking _experiment_ only to be dropped when he's not a girl at all any more and straight girls want him! I don't want to lose him like that," she whispered, her gaze dropping again.

"Santana... You need to to deal with the fact he's not a girl anymore." Kelly said, "I know that it must be a hard change for you. I never knew him when he looked feminine... the one time I saw him... In that cheerleading outfit." She took a deep breath, "I've never seen someone look _so_ unhappy." She whispered, "I just... when you look at Quinn now... don't you think he looks happier?"

"I know he is," Santana murmured, wiping at her eyes, "but she was my _best friend_, Kelly. I told _everything_ to her. _Everything_. A-and... now I know that all of that... _all of it_ was just a _lie_. God, I feel so stupid. He spent most of his life building a lie as my best friend, letting me trust him... _her_... letting me _fall_ for her... and it was all a _lie_. What if... what if this is a lie too? He says he loves me but _she_ said she was my best friend and _that_ was a lie."

"I know it's confusing..." Kelly sighed, "I'm so sorry that this is hurting you. This sucks... there is no part of this that doesn't suck." She pulled Santana close. "You know that you're the best thing that ever happened to that boy." She spoke softly, "Quinn loves you because he trusts you. I bet he's scared and hurt and I know he wants you forever."

"I don't know that," she whispered, pulling away and wrapping her arms around herself. "I know he _tells_ me he loves me, but if I ask him to be possessive of me, to just show that he _wants_ me, he can't... or won't, God only knows which is worse. I don't know him. I knew _her_. I trusted _her_. But _she_ was just a _lie_. He fucked me _twice_ without even telling me who he was, Kelly! Letting me get drunk and think he was just some random, sweet guy... Who _is_ he?"

She shook her head, "How can I trust he's telling me the truth when he says he loves me? One fight. That's all it took to fuck everything up. And I don't even know where he fucking _is_ right now to even try and apologize! I looked _everywhere_, Kelly! _Everywhere_! I thought he fucking left or died or something until fucking _Sam_ texts me that he's okay. That's all I have. That's _it_."

"Do... are you understanding why he won't possess you?" She asked, "You actually met his father... from what I know he was a controlling, abusive, _possessive_ person." Kelly took a breath, "I understand why you're hurt... but I think you need to try to see it from Quinn's view. He is that sweet guy. He wants to love so much and so hard that he'd do anything for you." She smiled sadly, "It doesn't matter if Quinn is a guy or a girl... He's Quinn... his body and appearance and how he was made to act was a lie... his love isn't."

"I know," she whispered, curling in on herself again. "I know that. I just... I want to feel like I belong to him, you know? That he wants me that much. I want to feel like he'd fight for me, like he wouldn't just let me go. I just," her voice broke as fresh tears trickled down her cheeks, "I just want to see him so bad... I want him back, Kelly. I just want him back..."

"I think you both need to cool off for a bit," she said honestly. "Quinn's scared and hurt. You said... you said bad things and he's sensitive." Kelly looked at her, "He'll come back to you... but when he does, are you going to push him away because of your obsession with being gay? Because maybe you're not gay. You're eighteen, shit changes. Love changes you."

"I don't know. I just want him back," she sobbed, "I didn't want him to go. I just want to know he's okay. I want to apologize. I never wanted this label... but I'm stuck with it. The whole fucking _state_ knows I'm a lesbian because of that goddamn ad campaign. How do I get past that?"

"Santana... You're going to college if a few weeks." She smiled and ran her finger across her friend's frown lines, "No one is even going to remember that. You get to start over at college. You get to be whomever you wanna be with whomever you want."

"I hope so," she sighed, wiping at her eyes again. "I feel like an idiot, Kelly..."

"I know you feel like shit right now... but yeah... you kinda should." She smiled, pulling the covers up over them. "So should Quinn."

"Why?" Santana yawned, snuggling into the blankets, tired from her crying jag. "He just did what I guess I asked for..."

"Because he didn't tell you how he was feeling and he walked away," Kelly wrapped an arm around her and held her close. "We're friends, Santana," she whispered, "don't forget that."

"I won't," Santana whispered, falling asleep, comforted by someone willing to hold her, even if it wasn't who she really wanted.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

It was nearly two in the morning when the noise from the other room woke Sam up. Blinking blearily at the clock, he unfolded himself from around Blaine and stumbled out into the living room in just his boxers. If he'd been more awake, he'd have been grateful that Blaine's mom was working the night shift again.

Scratching at his stomach, he yawned as he flopped down on the couch beside Quinn. "What're you even doing awake, Q? It's like stupid early."

Quinn just shrugged and kept his eyes focused on the re-run of Star Trek that seemed to play on a loop at that time of night. He was wrapped up in the blanket that Blaine's mom draped over his form before she left for work. Quinn was a mess, he had not been able to talk about what happened since the car with Blaine and seeing Santana kiss and leave with not just a girl, but Kelly the night before rendered him near mute.

"Seriously?" Sam rubbed at his eyes, "You still keeping up with this silent play?" He scratched his head, yawning, "Wanna watch some porn while Blaine's sleeping?"

He shrugged again handing Sam the remote and waited to see if the boy would actually turn on porn.

"Seriously?" Sam smirked, getting up and grabbing a DVD box hand labelled with "Warblers 2011 Regionals" and popping the disk into the player. "Sweet." He dropped back down next to Quinn and watched him as he hit play and the slightly shaky footage of some random apartment filled the screen panning over to a guy on the sofa watching tv when the door rang and a faint voice called "pizza delivery" while cheesy music started playing.

The minute Quinn felt Sam's hand move from the couch near the cushion near his head he sat up. "Jerk off away from my face." He mumbled and flopped over so he was facing away from Sam's lap.

Sam laughed, but took his hand off his dick where he'd pulled it out, "Knew I'd get some words outta you if you thought I was gonna cream on you." He smirked at him. "What the hell's up with you anyway? All this moping around and crap ain't like you, dude."

"San's off hooking up with Kelly..." He mumbled, sitting up and putting his braced knee on the table. "My knee hurts too... and I can't sleep."

"Really? That sucks." He grimaced, "You take your meds for that thing? Come on, pull your junk out and we'll rub a couple off watching porn. It'll make you feel better. Take your mind of shit."

"Not wearing it." Quinn shrugged, looking over at him. "Haven't felt like much of a man lately." He sighed and looked back at the TV.

"That sucks," Sam yawned, his hand going back around his dick as he watched the guy pounding the delivery person from behind, stroking himself hard. "We should watch some football later or something," he grunted, a slapping sound coming from his lap as he pumped himself, "you know, manly stuff. Get you feeling better."

"Maybe yeah..." Quinn said as he watched the video, his eyes falling to the dark haired pizza girl who was getting fucked. "Why can't Santana get that I don't want her to think about me with tits when we fuck."

"Maybe she doesn't," Sam shrugged, grunting as he pumped himself, "maybe she was just jerking you around cause she was pissed about something. You know how she gets. But dude, wet dreams and shit are normal. I think about Blaine as a chick sometimes and it is fucking hot. Don't mean I want him to be one or nothing."

"Blaine would be an ugly chick." Quinn mused, "and you're a freak..." He looked over at him. "Maybe she's right... I'm selfish to change."

"Who, San?" He scoffed, his eyes closing as he focused on pleasuring himself. "She's just talking out of her ass. You're you. Being a guy isn't changing."

"What if I wanna be normal...?" He asked as he reached his hand out and wrapped his hand around Sam's. "C-can you make me a girl?"

Sam's eyes shot open and he looked from the slim hand wrapped around his own to Quinn. "Q-quinn... what are you doing?"

"Have sex with me," he said, his eyes black from dark circles caused by insomnia. He looked like a zombie, and he was shaking from nerves.

"W-what?" He jerked back, startled, his hand leaving his dick to grab at the back of the couch. "Are you kidding me?"

"I need to be a girl for her..." he whispered, his hand squeezing Sam's member by accident.

"Fuck," Sam gasped, trying to push Quinn's hand away, "don't do that, Q! You don't need to be a girl, come on! What the hell, man?"

Quinn flinched, pulling away and curling into himself. "I'm sorry... just.. leave me alone."

"No way," Sam pulled his legs under him, quickly tucking his dick away as best he could. "Look, you like San, right? Like really like her. All the bells and whistles."

"I love her." Quinn mumbled, his face hidden in his arms. "She's gay and doesn't wanna a boy..."

"Who cares if she doesn't want a boy? You're you, not some boy, Q." He reached over and nudged him, "Stop being such a wimp. If you want her that bad, just go tell her you do. Chase her, dude! It's not like she told you to stay the fuck away or anything, right? I mean, she was freaking out looking for you."

He sighed. "I don't want to fight anymore," he said not sure of the meaning for the word fight.

"That's not the Q I know," Sam's lips thinned. "The Q I know wouldn't just give up on the girl he loved. Why are you just letting her go? If you want her, get her!"

"Maybe I don't want to get hurt again," he whispered. "Go to bed, Sam. I'll see you in the morning." he turned off the porn and headed to the bathroom and shut the door.

"Fuck," Sam groaned, slumping back against the sofa again.

* * *

><p>It'd been a week since she'd seen Quinn last and Santana felt worse than ever. Slumped on the sofa while her parents were out working, she tried to focus on the episode of Jersey Shore playing on the TV, but she just couldn't. Even hanging out with Kelly - who was surprisingly funny and even insightful when they weren't fucking - hadn't made her feel any better.<p>

When she caught herself checking her phone for what felt like the millionth time, she screamed and pitched it across the room to bounce off the armchair and clatter to the floor. For a half second she hoped she hadn't broken it, then she remembered why she'd checked it again and she screamed again, burying her face in a throw pillow. He wasn't going to call or message her so why couldn't she stop herself from looking?

It wasn't fair! She wanted to apologize but he was gone. She just wanted him back! Even if he hated her. She just wanted to see him again. Her body shook as she couldn't stop herself from crying all over again. She was miserable and it was her fault he was gone. If she just hadn't been so stupid!

* * *

><p>Quinn walked up to the door of the Lopez house, his body shaking with fear as he rapped his knuckles against the wood. He stood there waiting for Santana to open the door. The difference was that Quinn didn't look like the Quinn who had been living at the house. His hair was pushed to the side and clipped up into a more feminine pixie cut. He had on one of his old dresses and a pair of flip flops he found in his trunk. He looked down and waited for her.<p>

It took a little while before the knock filtered into the nest Santana had made for herself on the sofa, but eventually she sat up scrubbing at her eyes. Some sort of delivery, she supposed. Probably needed a signature. She paused at the hall mirror to make sure she didn't look too miserable before opening the door.

When she saw Quinn standing there looking absolutely absurd and miserable in one of his old sundresses, she couldn't do anything more than gape for a long moment. Her eyes drank him in as her jaw worked. She rubbed at her eyes and even resorted to pinching herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming and he really was standing in front of her. Even if he did look ridiculous in the dress.

"Q-quinn?"

"Hey," he said, trying to keep his voice at the tone in which he used to speak as Lucy in. He looked at her then to the ground. He didn't know what to say or how to feel, but he knew he'd give her anything she wanted.

"You... you," she caught her lower lip between her teeth as she just looked at him. "You're here...? What... Quinn, what are you wearing? What's going on?"

"I'm..." He swallowed, "I can be the Quinn you know again... I can go back... I promise I can go back."

She frowned, reaching out to take his hand and pull him inside. "Let's not talk about this out here on the porch." Once he was inside, she shut the door. "Now, what are you talking about? Cause I don't get it."

Quinn scuffed his feet. "You said you liked me before..." he looked away from her, "You said you thought of me as a girl... I.. I can be your g-girlfriend." he stumbled over his words, "I... I just don't want to be without you."

"Quinn," Santana breathed, staring at him in shock. "You... Quinn, you're... you're not though." She was confused and didn't know what was happening, "You're not a girl, Q..."

"P-please don't make me go... I can be with you now. We can be l-lesbians." He looked at her, his eyes black with exhaustion and his face pale. "Please. Be with me. I'll be your girl."

"Make you go?" Santana shook her head, pulling Quinn into her arms. It didn't matter if she was confused or everything was a mess. He was still the person she loved and he was hurting. "I'd never make you go, Q. You mean too much to me." Licking her lips, she leaned in and kissed him softly. "Please stop this, Quinn. You're hurting yourself and I hate seeing you like this..."

"You said.." He blinked, "You said this is what you wanted... I'm giving you what you want." he said softly, "Please... "

She shook her head. "You're what I want, baby. I don't care if you're a girl or a guy, just... be you. I know what I said and I'm sorry. I was such an idiot." She reached up and pulled the clips from his hair. "Come upstairs with me? Mama and Papi might be home soon and we can talk in my room if it'd make you comfortable."

He nodded and carefully followed her up the stairs. He looked across the bedroom he had been sleeping in and expected his stuff to be gone, but it was just how he left it. He followed Santana into her bedroom and stood at the door.

"Come here," she whispered, walking in and sitting on the bed. "We need to talk, okay? Just come sit with me."

He moved closer and sat on the bed his hands between his knees. He looked down and looked at the bandaid that covered his good knee from where he cut himself trying to shave before putting on the dress.

Santana sighed, reaching over and taking his hand. "Okay. First, before I say anything else." She took a deep breath, "Quinn, I am so sorry for that crap I said to you. I was just hurt and," she shrugged, "you scare me. I'm scared you're going to push me away when you're all guy..."

"I won't." He whispered, "You're the only one I want..." He looked over at her, "I'm scared you're gonna push me away... since I'm not a girl."

She shook her head. "That's stupid, Q. I'm a bitch and I say horrible, hateful things when I'm scared and hurting. You know me and you know I don't even mean them most of the time. I'm not gonna lie and tell you I don't think about the Quinn that was my best friend sometimes. I do think about her. Not while we're having sex though, baby." She reached up and gently stroked his cheek. "You're all I think about when we're doing that."

He sniffled, a single tear falling to his lap. "Do you want to have sex with her?" He asked softly, "Because... I'll give that to you... I'll... I'll do that."

"Quinn," she breathed, "baby, no. I only want that if you do. If you want it, I will but only if you want it. I love you, Q. I don't want to hurt you."

Quinn couldn't hide the tears that fell from his eyes. "I don't," he whispered. "I don't wanna be a girl... I don't, San."

"I know," she whispered, standing up and pulling him to his feet. "Let me show you my Quinn," she suggested, undoing the fastenings on the dress.

He just looked broken. He let her pull his dress off and leave him standing in only boxers - since he didn't have any panties at Blaine's house - and his knee brace. He looked up, his eyes puffy and red.

"My Quinn is strong," she whispered, kissing him gently and tracing the scars on his chest with light strokes of her fingers. "Strong enough to hold me when I'm scared and strong enough to let me help when he needs me. He's handsome," her hand slid down to press against his firm abs and she smirked slightly. "Slim and athletic in a way that always turns me on when I see him."

"Okay," he whispered, still not sure if he believed her. "I'm not brave... I ran away."

"I left first," she admitted. "Cause I was scared to let you see me cry. I was so scared that if I broke down in front of you, I'd never get back up. I shouldn't have pushed you like I did. I'm so sorry, Quinn. I didn't think about you and how you'd feel about doing that kind of stuff."

He nodded, "Scares me... I don't want to hurt you. Don't wanna treat you like my dad treated my mom."

Santana shook her head. "I don't want you to do that either," she stroked his cheek, pressing light kisses along his collarbone. "That's not the sort of possessiveness I want you to show me when I ask for it. I just want to feel like I belong to you. Like no one can take me from you because you'll fight for me if they try. I just want you to be firm with me, baby. I want to be yours because I'm all you want. That's what I mean by possessive. Not the scary, stalker stuff that son of a bitch you call your dad does." She looked at him uncertainly, "Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah." He said softly, "But... I don't know how to do that without feeling weird... Can you... not ask me to do that for awhile?" he whispered.

She nodded, "Yeah. I can do that." She took a breath. "I'm sorry for making you feel like... like you had to do this, Quinn." She nodded at the dress, "You're not a girl, but you are the person I love and... well, I don't know what that means but I'd rather be with you than listen to people saying I shouldn't because I'm a lesbian. I..." she bit her lip, "Did I make you feel bad about anything else?"

He shrugged. "No one cares if you're a lesbian," he said softly, "It doesn't matter, high school's over." he sat down on the bed and looked up at her. "I just... I saw you, San... You didn't even wait... you found someone else... you found Kelly..."

Santana frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Blaine took me to the bar to drink..." He swallowed, "To forget and I saw you kiss her and leave with her."

"So, what... you think I fucked her?" Santana looked hurt - it may have been her intention when she got to the bar to have sex with the other woman, but she hadn't been able to do it. "She's my friend and I don't exactly have a lot of those."

"I watched you kiss her." Quinn replied, "I watched you leave with her."

"Yeah, I did. I was scared because I couldn't find you and lonely and I needed someone to talk to," Santana's jaw worked as she sat down beside Quinn and looked down at her hands. "I thought I'd lost you and I wanted to stop hurting..."

"You kissed her. Did... did you sleep with her?" He asked, his tears streaking down his face.

"If you mean sleep as in sleep, then yeah." She bit her lip and looked over at Quinn, eyes bright with tears, "I didn't have sex with her, Quinn. Honest to God. I thought I wanted to - I drank enough to think I could. But I couldn't. She wasn't you... I couldn't do it. She just held me while I cried like a fucking baby because I missed you so damn much."

He nodded sadly, "I'm sorry I left... I was... I thought you didn't want me so I just had to leave you alone."

"It wasn't that," Santana whispered. "It wasn't ever that. I was just freaking out. You're not like the guys I've been with, Q, and you're sure as hell not like any of the girls. You scare me." She reached over but hesitated before taking his hand, "Loving you scares me cause I'm not sure how I fit. What am I gonna do when we get to college and you're a guy and the straight girls start realizing how amazing you are, you know?"

"You know who I am." he said, "You get that I'm different and are trying to be okay with it." He looked at her and took her hand. "I don't wanna be with anyone else."

"Neither do I." She looked down at their hands. "Is... is this, I mean are we back together now?" She licked her lips, looking up at him. "I want us to be. I want you back, Quinn. I hated it when you were gone..."

"I don't want to be alone," he whimpered. "I don't want you to be alone..." He squeezed her hand and smiled, "I wanna be your boyfriend."

Santana laughed in relief, leaning over to rest her head on Quinn's shoulder. "That's what I want," she whispered. "Screw the labels. I don't want anyone else, Q. I just want you. I just... I love you and I want to be the one you want."

"I love you too." He whispered, "Now... I haven't slept in a week... Can I get dressed and we take a nap?" he asked, his eyelids drooping with tiredness.

She kissed his cheek. "You only have to get dressed if you want to, but your sleep pants are under my pillow. I, um... kinda stole them."

He laughed softly and pulled them out and slid them over his boxers. He laid back and opened the covers letting her cuddle in next to him. "Are your parents mad at me?"

"Why would they be?" She yawned as she cuddled in next to him, feeling like she could actually relax for the first time in the past week, "I told them we had a fight and you went," she yawned again, "camping with Blaine and Sam to cool off."

"Okay." He was nearly asleep when he replied. He cuddled up into her and promptly fell asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Dinner that night started out awkwardly when Maria shouted in surprise at opening Santana's door to find her daughter curled into Quinn's side, her arm slung over his bare chest as he held her. It wasn't the wake up call that Santana had wanted and she'd flung a pillow at her mom before burying her face into Quinn's chest.

"Don'wanna ge'up," she mumbled, holding him tighter for a moment before she breathed in his familiar scent only to snort in surprise as she realized he was wearing some kind of girly perfume. "Oh ew. Quinn, you gotta shower before dinner. You smell like some chick that's not me and I'm not so cool with that."

He chuckled tiredly before getting up and groggily padding into the bathroom. He showered and used his _man soap_ as Sam called it before getting out and heading into his bedroom. He dried off and pulled on a pair of boxers and his soft packer before sliding into a pair of jeans. He pulled a white t-shirt over his head and dried his hair with the towel. He yawned and stretched his arms up before he folded his towel on the back of his door and headed out to find Santana.

Santana held her arms out with a smirk. "Smell check, babe." She wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled his neck, breathing deep of the scent of Quinn and Old Spice with a happy little moan. "That's better. Now you smell like my boyfriend again." She leaned back and smiled softly up at him again, "Please don't disappear again. I thought something awful had happened when you weren't home that morning."

"I'm sorry... I fell asleep in my car that night." he shrugged, and kissed the side of her head. He hugged her for a moment before he heard his stomach growl loudly. "Hungry."

She laughed, wrapping an arm around his waist, "Come on, idiot. Mami's making dinner and she asked how long until you're coming down to help cook. I think my parents love you more than me sometimes, you know."

"I'm shiny and new." He smiled and walked down with her. He nervously headed into the kitchen with Santana and smiled at the girl's parents. "Hi," he said softly.

"Mi Quinn!" Maria cried, coming over to pull him into a hug. "Do not go off so long again! Come now, we will make delicious chicken rojo while Santana and her papa prepare the table. Come come."

"Try not to startle us so much when you come home next time, son," Emilio chided softly, smiling at him as he headed past to gather the dishes he needed.

"Sorry... Blaine and Sam wanted a graduation thing..." He shrugged. "But I'm sorry for worrying you," he said as he hugged Maria with a smile.

Emilio laughed, dropping a stack of dishes into Santana's arms. "That's a very politic way of saying you had a spat with Santana and needed time off."

Quinn looked at the floor and moved to where Maria directed him and started sauteing the veggies. "Doesn't matter now, everything is good."

"Quinn," Emilio's hand dropped down onto his shoulder, "don't get bent out over it. You're young and in love. The two of you _will_ fight. Especially dating my daughter. It'd take a saint not to fight with our women, _mijo_, and I know I'm no saint."

Quinn laughed as Maria hit her husband upside the head with the back of her hand. "Damn right you're not a saint." She chided, "Get _outs_ of my kitchen," she said as she crossed her arms.

"Damn, woman!" He scowled down at her, holding the side of his head, "Do you have to hit so hard? I was just talking to the boy!"

"Papi, don't argue with Mami," Santana scolded, coming in to drag him off. "She'll just get out the frying pan again and I ain't dragging you out of the kitchen this time."

"Take the girl and I'll keep the boy," she smiled and stood next to Quinn. "He's more useful in the kitchen then either of you."

"Ouch, Mami, just _ouch_," Santana smirked, heading out of the kitchen with Emilio. "Come on, Papi, let's see what's on the soccer channel."

Quinn smiled at his girl before she walked out of the room. "What are we making, Maria?" he asked as he took the cilantro she gave him. "Smells amazing."

"Chicken Rojo. It is fairly simple and relatively quick," Maria explained, carefully peeling blanched tomatoes. "You will like it I think."

"Looks good." He smiled as he looked at the woman. "How's the restaurant? I'm sorry I missed work... I hope I didn't put you out."

"Don't worry, Santana always takes two weeks off before the start of her summer career," Maria waved off his worries. "We can handle the riff raff until the real workers are ready to start." She winked at him, then straightened as she remembered something. "Oh! You received a letter while you were away with your friends." She bustled over to the cubby where the mail was kept and pulled out the large beige envelope. "Here you are."

He looked curiously at it. "No one knows I'm staying here..." He said softly as he ran his finger over the sealed edge and ripped it. He pulled out a graduation card that was signed by his mom. "Oh..." He said softly, "My mom..." He moved to read the sheet of paper that was tucked inside. He felt the tears falling down his cheeks as he read the letter from his mother.

Maria glanced over at him worriedly, "Is everything okay, mi Quinn? Do you need Santana? I can call her in..."

"It's okay." Quinn sniffled and wiped his eyes. "I didn't think I'd ever hear from her again." He looked up before folding the note and sliding it into his pocket. "She sounds happy," he said, almost hurt that his mother was doing so well without him.

"She should never have left you," Maria insisted, coming over and hugging him close. "I cannot see how a mother could ever leave her child, especially not one as lovely as you, mi Quinn."

"My dad would have killed her if she stayed." Quinn sighed, "He... he tried to kill me and she saved me." He shrugged and rubbed his eyes before hugging Santana's mom. "I... she's dating someone and happy... why couldn't I be with her and she love me enough to come back?"

"You would not have your Santana if you were with her now," Maria offered as a possible consolation, sighing softly. "Emilio says I should not be so harsh upon her, but I cannot understand how a mother can leave their child. I would never leave Santana or you in the state you were left. I would rather die then see my children harmed."

"Thank you." He smiled sadly. "But, it's different on the other side of the abuse," Quinn said softly. "I grew up watching my mom get hit, then I got hit which I never understood since my older sister never got hit... He just hated my mom and I."

"That is no excuse," Maria declared, kissing his forehead. "My children come first. I love my husband dearly, but I would die fighting him before I allowed him to lay a harmful hand upon either you or Santana. But what does she say, your mother, besides that she is happy now that she has run away from her child?"

Quinn sighed, "My mom is getting a divorce... she's safe but she doesn't say where she is staying... she said she met a man..." He scoffed, "Though I'm not surprised... she's never been alone since she got pregnant at 17 with my sister."

Maria shook her head disapprovingly, "What things to tell the child you abandoned, Judy Fabray." She plucked the letter from Quinn's hand and set it aside with the card before reaching up to carefully wipe the tears away from his cheeks. "Don't you worry, mi Quinn. You have a home here and you will always be the son of my heart."

"Thank you..." He said hugging the woman. "Can we keep cooking?" He asked sadly as he rubbed his eyes. "I just want to forget this right now."

"Absolutely." She leaned up and kissed his cheek before turning back to the stove, "And after dinner you and Santana should head to bed. She hasn't been sleeping well with you gone. Your fight upset her quite a bit. She thinks I don't know you two must have broken up for a bit, but a mother knows these things. You are back together now?"

"Yeah, we needed to figure somethings out," Quinn said as he moved to chop things up for the salad. "I know it's hard for her... accepting me like this." He motioned to his body. "Her mind got stuck in the label everyone gave to her because of her relationship with Britt..."

Maria's lips thinned. "I never liked that girl. Too devious for her own good. She will come to a bad end just you wait and see. I do not like what she did to my little girl. Good people don't play with the hearts of the people they call friends like that."

"She's vindictive alright." Quinn replied, "She did not take well to me and Santana."

The woman's gaze sharpened. "What are you talking about, Quinn? What did that blonde harpy do to my baby?"

"She went after me not Santana..." Quinn sighed as she added more spice to the sauce. "She's the one who told my dad... sent him pictures of me dressed like this _with_ Santana..."

Maria's breath hissed as she drew it in sharply. "That is no child. She is a _bruja_!" She spat at the ground. "She does not deserve to draw the same breath as you and my baby! She should be reported to the authorities immediately!"

"I have no evidence, Maria." Quinn said, "Brittany didn't know he was abusive. She didn't know he'd hurt me like he did."

"It does not matter!" She was furious, angrily stirring the sauce, "She should not be allowed to harm you! Her knowing or not does not matter! A good person would _never_ stoop to such behavior!"

Quinn nodded, "I know... but we never need to see her again." He reminded her girlfriend's mom. "She didn't graduate. Santana doesn't want to see her again... and I'm alive. I'm not letting Brittany win."

"Good," she nodded, "she deserves nothing but ill for what she has done to my children. Here now, taste this," she scooped up a little of the sauce on a spoon and held it up to him. "What do you think?"

"Very yummy." He nodded, "Thank you for teaching me how to cook... I really like being able to do something."

"Everyone has talents, Quinn," Maria smiled up at him, "all it takes is a little practice to turn them into skills. You've potential in the kitchen unlike my well-intentioned but not always well-skilled daughter."

"She's good for business out front." Quinn smiled, "She gets people to order the expensive stuff." He smirked as he looked at his girl's mom.

Maria laughed. "She is that. Come now, I think dinner is ready. Tell the rest of our family to come to the table, mi Quinn."

Quinn nodded and moved to the living room. "Emilio and San? Dinner." As he saw Santana watching soccer on the edge of her seat with her dad.

"One sec," Santana held up a finger, not even looking away from the screen, "Come on... come _on_..." There was a flurry of movement and she jumped up with a happy yell, "YES! In your _face_, Papi!" Throwing her arms around Quinn she kissed him hard before pulling back with a happy grin, "God, I love you. Come on, Papi, let's go eat!"

"Yeah yeah," Emilio groused, turning off the TV and heading for the dining room, "you're just happy because your team won."

Quinn just laughed softly and pulled out Santana's chair for her once the plates were set on the table. Quinn sat down next to his girlfriend and held her hand as the family said grace. While they chatted about their day Quinn slid his hand over onto Santana's leg and held her hand through the rest of the meal.

* * *

><p>Sharing a car all the way to Columbus to check out the three possible apartments they'd looked at online with Sam and Blaine turned into more drama than expected when they all climbed into the little hatchback.<p>

First, Blaine had this absurd need to play show tunes while on road trips. And sing along. Finally, after nearly forty minutes, Santana couldn't take any more. Ten minutes of screaming in Spanish and threatening to throw his iPod out the window later, they weren't listening to Broadway anymore.

"Fucking Broadway," Santana muttered, glaring out the window. "Got enough of that shit in Glee with freaking Rachel."

Quinn reached over and held his girlfriend's hand after he had to go out and find Blaine's iPod before sliding back into the driver's seat. "Babe... no throwing shit out the window."

Blaine cradled the dirty Shuffle and glared distrustfully at Santana until Sam reached over and squeezed his thigh. "Dude, it was getting a bit old. Only so many showtunes can be tolerated in one sitting."

"Well, how about Katy Perry? I've got -"

"No!" Santana barked, leaning forward. "No Broadway, no Katy Perry, _no Glee_! Can we just listen to the radio like normal people for _once_?"

Quinn flipped on the radio and pressed the CD player. He saw Santana smile when she heard the mix she'd given him when they'd first started trying to be together that he kept in the car. It was a random mix of Nirvana, Jay-z, The Beatles and Amy Winehouse.

"Yeah, show tunes kinda suck." He smiled and looked at the boys in the back seat.

"Babe, if we didn't have company, you would _so_ be getting thanked right now," Santana smirked glancing over at her.

"Oh God, _please_ don't," Blaine muttered looking vaguely disconcerted even as Sam sat back and smirked up at the front seat.

"Go right ahead, San," Sam teased, "I don't mind."

"No live porn, Sam." Quinn said strictly, "Plus we'll be at the first place soon." He explained as he looked at the GPS. "Hopefully these places don't suck to hard and are big enough for four people to live in."

"Oh _God_ no live porn. I do not _ever_ wanna walk in on you two boning," Santana grimaced. "Ew. Seriously. _Ew_."

Sam laughed but Blaine just rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Santana, unlike _some_ people in this car, _we_ prefer privacy."

"Bite me, Boytoy." She smirked, "And don't you start, Sammy."

"Whatever you say, San. All three of the places should be big enough," Sam finally pointed out to Quinn, "I mean, we did specify there was four of us in the searches."

"I've actually walked in on them several times," Quinn replied. "For the life of me," he started with a smirk, "I don't know how it fits."

"Ew!" Santana first looked appalled then covered her ears, "Oh God! Why did you _do_ that to me, Quinn? Oh gross, I'm gonna be _sick_!"

Sam just laughed while Blaine tapped on Quinn's shoulder and pointed at the apartment building coming up.

Quinn chuckled and pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car. He got out and walked around to open Santana's door and offered her his hand. He had worn grey dress pants with a black button down with a black tie. He put on his glasses and looked to Blaine and Sam as he laced his fingers with Santana's. "Let's do this."

"You're lucky I love you," Santana whispered, snuggling into his side when she spotted a woman across the street looking at him, an arm going around his waist and pulling him close. "Mine," she growled softly, glaring at the woman until she realized and picked up her pace heading down the street.

Sam just chuckled as he held the door open for his friends when they entered the building. Blaine walked over to the leasing agent and smiled charmingly.

"Hi, My name is Blaine Anderson." He said, "I called a few days ago about seeing one of the free units. The two bedroom on the 11th floor?" he reminded the woman who was looking behind him at the three other people. "Is that apartment still available?"

"Yes." She said simply as she begrudgingly got up and grabbed her key's. "Come with me and I can show you the room. "Are you sure you want a two bedroom?" She looked at the other teenagers and raised an eyebrow.

"You trying to _imply_ something, lady?" Santana snapped, already on edge from the long car ride. "We're college students. We'd be in the dorms except they ran out of room. Now can you _please_ just show us the apartment?"

Quinn held Santana's hand tighter, "Calm down." he whispered following Blaine and Sam to the elevator. He got in and wrapped his arms around Santana while they headed to the floor.

She relaxed into his arms, "Sorry. I just don't like people judging us. Any of us. They don't know us so they can just shut up."

"I know," he said softly. "But I'd be nervous if four eighteen year-olds wanted to lease too," he reminded her.

"I know, but it felt like she was trying to say something about _us_ you know," she tangled her fingers with his and leaned up to kiss him, causing Sam to whistle lowly and her to flip him off.

"Alright, kids," the lady exclaimed as she lead them down to the end of the hall and unlocked the door, "two bedrooms, one bath. New carpets, paint job, central air, garbage disposal, and a gas stove," she explained as she let them inside the apartment to look around.

"It's nice," Blaine suggested, looking at the white walls and beige carpet.

"It's small," Sam retorted, knowing how much space four people took up from living with his entire family in a motel room.

"Would you two shut up?" Santana groused, pulling away from Quinn to look in the bedrooms. "It's not like we've got a lot of stuff anyway."

"Speak for yourself," Blaine scoffed with a raised brow, thinking about his book collection.

"Babe, be civil okay?" Quinn pleaded, "I wish it could be just us... but we can't afford it right now." He looked in her eyes, "We have two more to look at that we might like better."

"I _am_ being civil, Q," she shrugged. "Just cause I call Sammy and Boytoy names and things don't mean anything. I don't mind sharing living space with Homosplosion as long as they stay outta _our_ bedroom." She reached up and cupped Q's face, running her thumb over his cheekbone as she smirked at him. "Besides, I _said_ please to Ms Judgy McJudgerpants, didn't I?"

"Yes, and I'm very impressed." he smirked, "I thought you only knew that in the context of the bedroom."

She laughed and smacked him in the chest. "Ass. You're lucky I love you so much or you'd be getting cut off. So, this place isn't _entirely_ horrible, but I wanna see where else _we_ could be living together before we pick." She ran her hand up his chest to his neck and pulled him down into a kiss, "I kinda like the idea of sharing a room - a _bed_ - with you and getting to come home to you every night."

He smiled, "Me too." He kissed her again before pulling away and leading her to look at the other rooms and bathroom.

* * *

><p>Four hours later, they were all getting a little weary of the constant driving and dealing people in a college town generally afraid of renting to four freshman honor students (except Sam, but in his defense it <em>was<em> difficult to keep up a high GPA while basically raising his two younger siblings and living out of a motel room). Blaine was curled up in the backseat of the car with his head in Sam's lap taking a nap to get ready to take over driving from Quinn on the way back to Lima, but the other three were still awake. Santana leaned against the window and looked at Quinn.

"I don't know about you guys, but I think the first place was probably our best bet," she shrugged. "At least she didn't _actively_ treat me like a whore for wanting to live with three guys."

Quinn chuckled, "This is true. Plus, it's really close to the grocery store and the bus stop." He replied as he looked over to his girlfriend. "I think that it will be nice. I mean we have enough room. The kitchen is good size... could be worse."

"You're cooking then," Sam yawned from the backseat. "I ate Santana's cooking once and I am never ever doing that again." He winced when she glared at him, "Dude, you put three whole habanaros in my burrito!"

"Whatever, you know you like spicy stuff," Santana shrugged.

"Spicy yes, melt-your-intestines, no!" His stomach rumbled, waking Blaine and he blushed. "Can we stop and get some food though? I'm hungry."

"Sure. Want go to go to a restaurant or just a drive thru?" He asked as he drove as he looked to the signage on the road. "And yeah. I'll cook, I enjoy doing it."

"Restaurant," Santana stated firmly. "I wants _out_ of this car for a bit before we drive back."

"Santana's right," Sam shrugged. "We need a break from the car and looking at apartments before that drive. Especially with Blaine having control of the radio."

"I resent whatever you're implying." Blaine grumbled, folding his arms and sitting up.

"Imply nothing," Santana smirked back at him. "You're obsessed with show tunes and top 40s. It's annoying."

Quinn laughed as he pulled off the highway and searched around until he found a diner. He knew how much Santana enjoyed breakfast at all times of day and it would make her happy. He parked and got out of the car and headed to open her door. He kissed her softly as she got out of the car. "I'll buy you breakfast," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"You two make me wanna puke," Sam commented as he headed towards the restaurant. Quinn just rolled her eyes and pulled Santana along.

"You and Blaine were way worse when you two got together at first," he called as they walked towards the doors.

"_And_ we're hotter," Santana pointed out, wrapping her arm around Quinn's waist with a smirk.

Sam gawked for a moment before letting out an indignant squawk and pulling up his shirt to show off his abs, "Hey! Pure hotness here, baby! You know you want all this!"

"Sorry, Sammy," she laughed, glancing back at him, "but Q's the only guy I'll ever want. Guess you'll just have to satisfy yourself with just Blaine."

"Damn, so no fourways?" He joked, only to duck when Blaine tried to slap the back of his head with a laugh.

"Hell no," Quinn said as he looped his fingers through Santana's belt loop. They slid into a booth and he smiled when she snuggled into him. "So boys, the apartments. Which do you wanna take?"

"I liked the second one," Blaine admitted, remembering the built in bookcases, "but the staff was a bit unpleasant."

"That's one way to put Mr. I'll Lower Your Rent If You Fuck Me," Santana grimaced, hating the sleazy old man. "You can live there if you want, Blaine, but I ain't."

Quinn frowned. "No one's fucking Santana but me," he pouted and wrapped his arm around her.

"She's all yours, buddy." Sam smiled and looked at the menu. "Blaine, I want french toast and a cheeseburger!"

"At the same time?" The dapper young man looked slightly nauseous. "Sam, that's disgusting."

Santana shrugged, leaning into Quinn. "I'm sure he'll spend the three hours after we get home working it off."

Sam smirked at Blaine, "Any suggestions on exercises?"

"Ew," Quinn looked disgusted. "Blaine, I think he wants you to get one of them so he can share it with you," he noted before looking at the menu with Santana. "Baby, what do you want?"

"It's still a disgusting combination," Blaine muttered, perusing the menu.

Santana looked it over and shrugged, "I'll just have a garden salad with ranch on the side. Got to watch my figure," she patted her flat stomach. "I _am_ on a cheer scholarship as a flyer after all."

Quinn made a face. "Baby..." he said worriedly, "I... I thought you'd have breakfast... we never get up early enough and I thought you loved it."

"I do, I just," she sighed, leaning over and resting her head on Quinn's shoulder. "Sorry, I'm just tired. Maybe a couple eggs and some toast? I'll have bacon if you'll share it with me."

"Whatever you want. I just don't want you still eating like you're on Sue's crazy diet. It's not healthy." Quinn reminded her as he looked to the waitress.

"She'll have scrambled eggs and toast with apple juice," he smiled at his girlfriend, "I'll have a greek omelet and a side of bacon with a cup of coffee." He looked over to the boys to order.

"I'll have a cheeseburger, medium rare with fries and he'll have french toast with extra syrup," Sam requested with a eyebrow waggle at his slim boyfriend.

"Ew, Sam," Santana looked disgusted for a second before closing her eyes with a soft sigh. "So we going with the first place or what?"

Quinn kissed her girlfriends temple, "I like the first one. We can go to Ikea and get some furniture and get the rest from Goodwill."

"Ikea?" Santana groaned, turning her face into her boyfriend's shoulder, "Do we have to? That place is seriously nuts. Besides, like Brittany's entire _house_ is decorated out of that place. Can't we just hit Goodwill and like thrift shops and stuff?"

"Sure that works too," Quinn said, "I was thinking more for like a couch or whatever and bookshelves for Blaine."

"Quinn, I've got bookshelves," Blaine laughed, "the problem is getting them moved."

"But that's what you got me for, babe," Sam grinned, pulling up his sleeve and flexing one of his arms.

"I am _so_ glad you're going home after we get back to Lima," Santana grumbled, "cause I so don't wanna have to hear you two boning in the next room before I absolutely have to."

"Hey! We're quiet! Right, Quinn?" Sam added with a smirk at his fellow blond.

"No comment," he said as he sipped his coffee once the waitress brought them their drinks. "You can nap on the way home, baby," he whispered to Santana. "I'll put you to bed."

"Only if you sit in back with me," she yawned, taking a sip of her apple juice. "Sam and Blaine have gotten to snuggle in the back the whole day while being gross. Only fair that I get some cuddles on this trip too. I've been totally nice too. Right, Sammy?"

He grinned, "For you? Totally. For a sane person, not so much."

Quinn chuckled before nodding when the food came. He started to tuck into his eggs when everyone else began to eat. He leaned over and stole a fry off of Sam's plate with a smile before feeding it to Santana. She grinned, snapping it off close to his fingers with a little chuckle before filching a piece of his bacon to hold up in reciprocation.

"You two are seriously gross," Sam observed, taking a big messy bite of his burger.

"I think it's cute," Blaine argued, cutting up his french toast.

Quinn ate the bacon and licked off Santana's fingers before turning back to his meal. After they finished eating and Blaine paid for everyone, Quinn and Santana slid into the back of the car and he smiled as she snuggled into him. Resting her head on his lap, she sighed softly as she got the seat belt buckled in her awkward position.

"If Blaine starts playing Top 40, don't wake me," she mumbled, nuzzling his thigh.

Quinn smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. "Go to sleep, baby," he said softly as he kept soothing his girlfriend's sleeping form.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

It was nearing a month since they'd gotten back together, but neither of them had done anything more than cuddle and make the occasional suggestive comment. Their make out sessions were much rarer than before their brief break-up and they never went beyond kissing and above the clothing touching. Santana thought for sure she'd be completely wound up without the release of sex, but she was oddly more comfortable than usual.

She glanced out the window at where Quinn was lounging in the hammock with his shirt off while reading in the bright sunlight and found herself smiling. Not her usual smirk either, but a legitimate smile - the sort she used to give to Brittany before she had her heart trampled on. She ducked her attention back down at the dishes she was washing once she realized it. He confused her sometimes - lie or not, he'd still been her best _girl_ friend growing up - but she felt happy around him. Finishing up, she poured a couple of glasses of lemonade from the pitcher in the fridge and headed outside.

"Hey, handsome," she called, closing the back door. "Want something to drink?"

"Hey." He looked up, aviator sunglasses covering his eyes from the bright summer sun. "That'd be great, thanks." He replied before carefully shifting over in the hammock. "Do you wanna lay down with me?"

She smirked, "Do I ever _not_ want to lay down with you on a lazy day?" She joined him in the hammock, handing him his glass before taking a sip of hers and carefully setting it down on the grass beside them. "What's that you're reading? It doesn't look familiar."

Quinn marked his page and turned the book over so she could see the title. _Becoming a Visible Man_. "It's a biography," He shrugged. "Your dad thought I might be into it."

"Huh," she slid a little closer to him so she could see it better. "Is it any good? I'm guessing it's about that turning into a guy stuff."

"Yeah..." He sighed, not loving her phrasing. "It's not about turning into a guy, San." He looked at her, "It's about being one for everyone else to see. He was always a guy... he just had to live as someone he wasn't and how he overcame all the shit. It's really good so far."

Santana frowned, confused. "But aren't you, like, turning into a guy? I mean, yeah you're one up here," she tapped his head, "but your body has to change and stuff to match, right? Isn't that the whole point? I mean, otherwise, aren't you just like a cross-dresser or something?"

Quinn closed his eyes, "I know you're not being ignorant on purpose." Quinn ground his teeth and took a few breaths, "I'm not a cross-dresser... I'm not a girl and I never was despite my tits and pussy okay?"

"I know that, okay." She took a deep breath, "I just don't get how this whole," she gestured at the book, not knowing the word, "_thing_ isn't about turning into a guy!"

"I'm working on presenting now," Quinn sighed, "Presenting as Quinn... not as Lucy." he said, "It's like... when you're little and your parents only want to dress you in their style and all you wanna do is look like a grown up not a little kid." He rubbed his eyes, "Like, it's like a transition phase... going from what I only felt to everyone being able to see what I am."

"So... what's that mean for you?" Santana looked at him with a thoughtful frown. "I mean, I get the whole wanting to look like who you are and stuff. I mean, that makes sense. But... what about the rest of it? Girls and guys are kinda different chemically and shit, you know. And we're built different too. I mean, you've got your little friend and all and that's awesome, but girl muscles are different from guy muscles. And they got beards and stuff. What do you do about that?"

"I take hormones," he said simply. "I find a doctor who can help me make everything better on me and I work on getting those things started now, hopefully before school starts." He looked at her, "Would... You still want me if I took hormones?"

Santana frowned, "What do you mean? I mean... what's that gonna do to you? I mean, you won't turn into one of those crazy over-muscled freaks like on that show about steroids right? Or, like, it won't make you get crazy angry? Cause we get angry enough on our own without enhanced angry."

"No... it'll just help my body stop doing really girl typed things." He explained, "Like, it'll stop my period. Which is something that I really, _really_ want to stop. It'll make sure that my body doesn't try to make my chest grow again..." He smiled softly, "It will redistribute fat in my body more like a dude's, and yeah. I might get some facial hair in the future."

"But..." she worried at her lip, looking uncertain, "you'll still be you, right? That won't change... right?"

"I'll still be me." He whispered, "I promise, despite the facial hair or the voice lowering a bit. I'm still Quinn, okay?"

"Okay," she still looked uncertain, but she trusted him so she let her head rest on his shoulder and brushed a hand over his bare chest, finally coming to rest on his abs just above the waistband of his shorts. "What about your friend? I'm pretty sure hormones won't turn your junk right."

"I mean... I've done a lot of reading about it," he admitted, "Sometimes it makes the clit bigger... or some people have surgery to make their clit into a little dick." He shrugged, "I know I don't want that. I don't want a little dick... I don't really want any more surgery. I already look like I got in a fight with a tiger up top... so I guess I'll just keep the thing I got."

She shrugged, smiling as she brushed her hand over his scars. "I think they look badass. Total fight club champion type stuff." She leaned in and kissed him, before leaning back and licking her lips with a shy blush. "What if, like... you could get a special dick? Like one that's glued on with like medical glue or something but still works?"

"That could be cool." He smiled, "Like... I would love to be able to have it on and not have the harness and just _touch_ it." he tangled their fingers together. "I know all of this is weird and scary... but I love you, okay? and I'm not gonna change just cause I get my hormones righted."

"I know," she looked down at their joined hands, "it's just kinda scary, you know?" She smiled weakly, "It's like every time I start to get comfortable something changes and it's all crazy again. I really don't want to break up again because we fight over something, Q..."

"I don't want to fight again ether." Quinn sighed, "I don't want that. I want to be with you and be myself. I want you to be yourself too." He kissed her cheek. "You are so beautiful. My beautiful, smart and sexy girlfriend."

She smiled shyly, glancing up at him. "You know me better than I know myself sometimes, Q, so guess you'll have to help me with that. But like, um... what if I like, maybe, found a dick online? I mean, just cause you're the one doing this changing thing doesn't mean I can't look stuff up, right?"

He laughed, "Sorry, I have a really funny image of you shopping for my penis online," he smiled, "I'm glad you look things up though. I want a unit I can use with you but also pee with and just wear."

"Jerk," Santana laughed, slapping his shoulder playfully, "and here I found this guy in Germany who kinda makes ones that glue on and match your skin tone and stuff that I thought you'd be into."

"That could be cool." He smiled, "It's probably really expensive... maybe in a few years or something."

She shrugged, "It's a couple grand, but if it'd make you happier, I could help pay for it if money's a problem, Q. I mean, yeah, we're not super wealthy, but most of my clothes are second-hand chic from Columbus and not absurd brand-names like Kurt. Plus I've been working at my mom's place for a few years now so I've got money saved up..."

"You're amazing." Quinn said as he cupped his girlfriend's cheek. "But, let's figure out the first semester. Let me try the hormones and see how I feel then." He kissed her cheek, "But you're amazing for offering."

"I want you to be happy," she smiled lopsidedly. "And besides," her face wrinkled up in a look of almost disgust, "there's something totally ick factor about getting fucked by with a dick you bought from _Kelly_." She moved to take his book and set it on the ground before rolling to lie on top of him. "Also, it'd be kind of hot to see you play with yourself without the straps. The one I was looking at has a special knob that presses against you in just the right place so you feel when your dick's getting played with..."

"That would be hot." Quinn said as he nuzzled her neck. "You don't need to be jealous about the fact that I got it from her shop. Sam bought it anyway... and Blaine helped me put it on the first time." He teased trying to rile Santana up.

"Oh, ew! Not only is she involved but homoexplosion even got to feel you up before me?" She stuck out her tongue making a grossed out face, "Seriously, Q, who hasn't got to play with your dick before I got you?"

"You only get the answer if you tell me how many other guys have seen your junk." He raised his eyebrow and smiled. "But you're the only person I've ever loved so you're special."

"How many other _guys_?" she teased, "That's easy. Three. Puck, Finn, and Sam." She chuckled at the look on his face. "You knew about Puck, Finn was on Sue's orders and was totally gross, and Sam... well," she shrugged with a smirk. "Rachel's party," she added as if that explained everything.

"What about girls?" He asked softly, "I don't really care about who you've been with because you're with me, but I kinda would like to know... since like I picked you up at the bar. I just," he bit his lip, "You know... sorry if you don't wanna answer."

"...what do you mean?" she looked worried and uncertain, "I mean, like... do you mean how many I've fucked or how many I let fuck me? The numbers are pretty different."

"Oh... I don't know." He said honestly, "Like... is it like a really big difference? I don't really know what I'd prefer to know. Like, I know you were with Kelly... but other than that I guess."

"It's a big difference," she admitted with a wince, "but the only girl who touched me besides Kelly was Brittany. Everyone else I barely even took to a car. I don't even know half of their names, only how they sounded when I had them up against a wall... I'm sorry." She wasn't sure what she was apologizing, but she felt like maybe she should.

"It's okay." He said, "Don't apologize... It's not a big deal." He reminded her, "I hate the fact Brittany got to touch you before me more than the fact you touched other people."

"I know," she whispered, resting her head against his shoulder, "I wish I'd known better, but I thought I loved her. I thought she wanted me like that. I thought... I thought a lot of things where she was concerned and they were all stupid..."

"She's stupid for letting you get away... except it's good for me." He smiled and kissed her lips.

"She didn't _let_ me do anything," Santana scowled. "She threw me away like a used toy so she could go play with Wheels. And then when I started being happy with you she had to go and fuck that up too."

"It's gonna be okay," He kissed away her frown, "You never have to see her again."

"God, I hope so," she groaned, pressing a kiss against his shoulder. "But honestly, besides you... I've only really been with five people and none of them meant as much. I promise."

"Okay." He smiled, "I know that what we have is special." He ran his hands down her sides. "You're kinda the best thing I have."

"Yeah, well, you're kind of the only thing I have," she admitted with a lopsided smile, leaning in to kiss him. "So I'd better do my best to keep you. I kinda love you, Quinn Fabray."

"I love you too, San." He smiled, he nuzzled her neck and breathed in her sent. "We have to go to work soon."

"Ugh, don't remind me," she groaned. "I just got done cleaning up _here_!"

"Your pretty ass only has to serve and get tips for being sexy." He smirked, "I have to sweat balls with Luis in the back over the dishwasher and, if I'm lucky, the fryer."

"Yeah, but I'm the one whose ass gets grabbed all the time by the drunks," she made a face, "and I share my tips with you so there!"

"I do like the tips." He smirked, "But, how about I make you dinner at work? We can eat before Luis get there."

"Hmmm, wish you could make me dinner here," she teased, "since I can't actually sit on your lap while we eat at work. Speaking of work, you didn't get burnt sunbathing all morning did you?"

"Nope." He said, "SPF 50 and that vitamin D stuff for the scars." he replied, "Now, let me get up and let's go get dressed for work."

"It's vitamin _E_ for scars, baby," Santana smirked, but slapped his abs lightly as she rolled off him and out of the hammock, picking up their drinks and his book. "Come on, I'd rather Luis doesn't stare at me while I eat today. Totally kills my appetite."

Quinn got up and stretched, "Alright. Go get dressed and I'll meet you at the car?"

"Sounds like a plan," she called back over her shoulder as she headed for the door. "Oh and Q?" she paused in the doorway, looking back at him and licking her lips almost nervously for a second before continuing. "Why don't you talk to my dad? About the hormones and stuff you know. I mean, maybe he could refer you or something."

He beamed. "That's a good idea, thanks," he said as he followed her into the house and headed up to his room. He grabbed his uniform and slipped on a white under shirt and then his polo before going to do his hair in the bathroom.

Santana cleaned everything up then headed up to change into her black skirt and the burgundy polo that all the wait staff wore. Frowning at her reflection in the mirror she tugged the skirt down a little before sighing and wiggling it back up to where it was. No, she didn't really like the attention she got from the more inebriated patrons, but they certainly tipped better when she dressed like this. Plus, she smirked at her reflection, she knew she'd have Quinn's attention whenever she was around and she kinda liked that idea.

Heading down to the car she knocked on the bathroom door, "Hey, I'm heading down, so hurry up in there, sexy!"

"I'm coming," he called before taking his anti-anxiety and pain meds and securing his brace before heading downstairs and outside. He slipped into the driver's seat of his car and turned it on. "What do you want for dinner tonight?"

"I want to see whatever you've learned from Mami's lessons," Santana teased, reaching over to rest a hand on his thigh. "So whatever you feel confident enough to feed your girlfriend who grew up eating the real deal, baby."

He rolled his eyes, "How about... _Mojo isle? con arroz y tostones_?" He smiled hoping that she'd be impressed.

"Hmm," she smirked at him, looking slightly impressed by his choice, "challenging. Sure you can pull it off, baby?"

"I made it for the special last week." He smiled "I hope you like it...Luis keeps getting mad when your mom lets me help cook on Mondays when it's dead."

"Luis is a kid," Santana rolled her eyes. "He'll figure it out one of these days that it's not all some slight against him but is just letting the people with more maturity take on more responsibility."

He nodded and turned into the parking lot after awhile of driving in silence. "Kiss me before I cook for you?" he asked softly once he turned off the car.

She leaned over. "Before and after, you goof." Closing her eyes with a smirk, she leaned in and brushed her lips against his, not asking for anything more than he wanted to give.

"Thank you," he whispered against her lips before getting out and opening the door for her.

"Such a gentleman," she teased, accepting his hand as she climbed out of the car. "No wonder Mami loves you more."

"It's just because I can cook and won't knock you up." He laughed, kissing her cheek and leading her into the restaurant.

She laughed, wrapping an arm around his. "Oh, you think that's the only reason, but just you wait. She's gonna be having you call her mom and try to convince you to take over this place when she's old and gray."

"Sure." He rolled his eyes and headed into the kitchen to start cooking for his girl and her mom before the dinner service started.

* * *

><p>Emilio closed the door to the exam room, tucking a pen into the pocket of his white coat and the clipboard he'd been writing on under his arm as he looked across to where his daughter's boyfriend was sitting on the exam table. He hadn't really been expecting Santana to come to him distressed and concerned about the boy's decision to go after hormone therapy, but he wasn't that surprised that Quinn had come to the decision. Reassuring her that it wouldn't somehow change his personality or drastically alter his moods had taken the better part of an hour and somehow he'd found himself agreeing to see the boy on a more professional level than was technically ethical to help him out.<p>

"So, Quinn," he began, walking over to the room's counter and setting his clipboard on it before pulling a stool over, "Santana tells me that your considering stepping up your transitioning process to hormonal replacement therapy."

"I mean yeah." Quinn nodded, his hands wringing on his knees. "I want my period to stop... I _need_ it to stop," he remarked, his face not hiding the feelings that came up at every time that time of the month came. "It just needs to stop."

"Mmm," he nodded, picking up his clipboard and marking something down. "Well, there _are_ things that can be done to stop that without full on hormone replacement. Voluntary sterilization, for instance. Do you have any intention of having your own children at some point in the future?"

"Uh... I want kids." He said softly, "But... I don't want to have them or anything like that... I don't think I could handle that." Quinn's face scrunched up and looked disgusted at the thought of being pregnant.

Emilio looked up without raising his head. "What about with my daughter?"

Quinn's head snapped up, "What do you mean?"

Emilio set his clipboard on his lap and folded his hands on it, looking at his daughter's boyfriend with a calm and steady gaze. "I mean, what are your intentions towards my daughter, Quinn. I am not blind. I realize that you and her have likely had... relations. Possibly even while under my roof. I'm not entirely thrilled with that, but she is an adult now and I trust her to know what she wants and to be safe. However, I am also her father and protective towards her. So, I am asking her _boyfriend_ what his intentions are regarding her."

"I love her." Quinn said simply, "I love her more than anything..." He whispered and looked down at his hands. "We... we haven't... not in awhile, sir." He stumbled over his words nervously, "Santana is the only good thing that's happened to me. I protect her... I'll always protect her and love her no matter what."

"Yes, that's all well and good," Emilio leaned back on his stool, continuing to regard Quinn. "Though, honestly, I expect at least that much from anyone she's chosen to date. What I want to know is if you intend to provide her with a family, Quinn. If you will ever be more than her boyfriend."

"Oh... I mean... we haven't talked about that yet, sir." He murmured, "She... she's still trying to comprehend being with me as a guy and I don't wanna scare her off."

"Quinn, I'm not asking you what you and Santana have discussed," Emilio pointed out. "I'm asking you what _you_ as a man _intend_ towards my daughter. What do _you_ want to do?"

"I don't wanna be without her." He said, "But... I don't want to push her into anything she doesn't want..."

"You're not answering the question, Quinn." He raised a brow. "I wonder why that is."

"I don't understand what your asking." he admitted.

"I'm _asking_," he spoke slowly and clearly, "if _you_ want to marry my daughter and have children with her someday, Quinn. I'm not asking what _she_ wants right now, but what _you_, her _boyfriend_ wants regarding her. What she wants will come out when the time is right. But I'm asking you right now what _you_ want."

"Yeah," he smiled, "I really want that." He looked slightly bashful and kicked his legs against the table. "I would like that if she would have me."

"Okay," Emilio nodded with a hint of a smile. "Good. Now that we're on the same page, time for an important question. Assuming she's amenable to the idea, do you want _your_ child or hers?"

"I just want _our_ child," he shrugged, "Doesn't matter whose goods it comes from... she's obviously going to have to carry it. But I would love a little one that looked like her." He smiled softly, "She's just so beautiful."

Emilio chuckled softly. "I'm glad you're clearly enamored with my daughter's appearance, Quinn, but frankly, any child she has is going to biologically be hers and a donor's at best. Now, with the technologies we have available today, it's possible to take eggs from you now and store them for future use with Santana. Genetically, a child created in that method would be yours and a donor's but she would carry it to term and give birth to it. However, if you do not decide to store eggs before undergoing sterilization treatments or hormone replacement, the possibility of doing that goes away. I'm not insisting you make this decision right now, I'm just letting you know your options."

"Sir," he sighed, "I think... I don't think I want to keep them. I... My family..." He looked up and rubbed his eyes, "My dad was evil and cut me apart... My mom left and my sister is a freakshow. I don't want to give a potential child those genetics when they could have Santana's." He rolled his neck just thinking about his family causing him stress. "I just... there are plenty of guys out there who look like me... I'd prefer to find a donor with blonde hair and green eyes over using my DNA."

"That's fine, Quinn," Emilio pointed out, jotting something down on his clipboard. "I just wanted to make you aware of the possibility." He looked up at him again, "Also, are you going to want any more surgery to, um... _enhance_ certain physical features? I'm trying to figure out who I should refer you to of the two therapists available in Columbus."

"I did a lot of research," Quinn replied, taking a breath. "But... I don't think I want bottom surgery. I think my issues with how I look will be better once my period stops. I don't have my chest anymore so... I think I'll live without it. Plus... I'm kinda not a big fan of how it looks after. I want the real thing or nothing."

"Okay," he noted something else down. "So, no preserving your eggs and no bottom surgery. Now did you want hormones or just... something to stop your menstrual cycle?"

"I want the testosterone injections." He said firmly, "It will help me pass more."

"Well, you're going to need a therapist for that. Once you're officially diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, you'll be able to get the prescriptions you need to get your hormone shots. And I'm going to go ahead and refer you to Dr. Claudia Riesenbacher. She'll be able to write a prescription for you once you've been properly diagnosed." He balanced the bottom edge of his clipboard against his legs and leaned on it, "I'm assuming you've talked to Santana about all this."

"Yeah... she's nervous." He said softly, "So am I.. but I don't understand why I need to get diagnosed for something. It's not a fucking physiological disorder. It's just what I am."

"I know that, Quinn. However it is a condition which requires a prescription of a substance which is known to be abused," Emilio explained, "and, as such, most therapists I can refer you to are going to want to have a valid condition to point to if they are questioned as to why they gave you this prescription."

"I guess you know best." He grumbled, "It's still stupid."

"Stupid or not, testosterone is still a controlled substance, so we have to mind our ps and qs. I'll set things in motion so that you can start seeing her as soon as you want, but just on a personal experience level," he glanced up at Quinn from where he was writing on his clipboard, "keep Santana involved. Because from what I saw in the families of some of the patients I worked with in Fresno, you can inadvertently alienate her in your transformation if you don't. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, Quinn, but you do have to realize that she identified herself as a lesbian before you - as a male - entered the picture. The reason she did doesn't matter, but she might just have some trouble adjusting to you going from being a man up here," he tapped his head, "but having a relatively womanly body to having a body that matches your head if you don't."

"I know," he sighed. "But, like, it's hard because we tried to talk about it a few times and it's scary and she gets upset and I don't have all the answers. Can.. can I bring her into my appointments? I want her to ask questions too. I don't want her to be upset."

"That's completely up to you and Santana, son." He leaned back again, regarding Quinn passively. "However much or little you want her involved, just remember it's _your_ treatment, so you're in control as to who gets to know what." He chuckled, noting something else on his clipboard, "Most of it's tax deductible too, so keep all your receipts."

"Oh okay..." He said softly, "can I pay in cash? Like... I don't know about insurance stuff... But I have some cash."

"Insurance doesn't cover this," he explained, glancing up. "That's why it's tax deductible after something like seven and a half percent of your income. That's why you need to keep your receipts so you know how much to claim. This has the potential to be a very expensive change for you, Quinn, so I recommend taking advantage of every bit of help you can."

"Oh okay.." He said, overwhelmed by what he was realizing would go into this. "I didn't know it was such a big thing."

"Oh, it certainly can be. Admittedly, it won't be quite as _immediately_ expensive as you're turning down bottom surgery, but your prescription will add up over time. You're actually lucky in a way," Emilio gestured towards him. "What your father did was heinous, but the damage caused your top surgery to be performed under your insurance. I knew a couple of transmen who spent thousands on that alone in Fresno."

"The one good thing the ass ever did for me." Quinn sighed, "I don't know what would have happened if my mom hadn't been home..."

"Let's not dwell on that, Quinn. What matters is you're safe and you have a home now. Not only that, but you're going to be heading to college soon." He reached up and patted the boy's knee. "I only wish you could actually get married in this state so I could legally mean it when I call you my son."

He smiled, "Thank you, sir, I really owe you and Mrs. Lopez everything for taking me in... I hope to make you and her proud some day... And I'll always love Santana and want to make her happy."

"Quinn, I admire your idealism, but you're still a teenager. I made similar promises about my first love and well, I'm not with her now." Emilio smiled reassuringly up at him, "I won't be mad at you if things change as you two grow up, alright? Us taking you in has nothing to do with your relationship with our daughter. We did it because it is the right and Christian thing to do. You don't owe us anything."

"Thank you, sir." He smiled and got up off the bench and straightened his jeans. "I hope to make you and Mrs. Lopez proud... and my mom at college."

"I'm sure you will, Quinn," Emilio smiled at him, standing up and pushing the stool back against the wall. "Talk to Santana about what's going on with you and figure out when you want an appointment and I'll set things up. Alright?"

"I did... I want to have the hormones. I'd prefer to start prior to university so I can maybe pass there." He put his hands in his pocket, "It would be great if you can set that up."

"I can set that up," Emilio glanced at him with a raised brow, "but I thought you wanted Santana to be with you at your appointments. Don't you need to perhaps discuss when would be a good time so you _both_ can attend?"

"Oh yeah," Quinn said. "I guess your right." He fixed his work shirt and smiled, "I gotta get to work... I'll see you in a few days? You and San are going to see your brother or something?"

"Yep. My brother Saul in Chicago. It's a shame Maria has to deal with the health inspector tomorrow, but are you sure you don't want to come? You know you're entirely welcome, Quinn."

"No thank you, sir." He smiled, "I'm not great with new people."

"Stick around long enough, son, and him and his wife and kids won't be new people," he slid an arm around Quinn's shoulders with a smirk, "they'll be family. Speaking of family, I'm going to a seminar in Cleveland a couple weeks after we get back and I could use a driving buddy. Think you'd be up to tagging along? The seminar will be boring, but the part I'm interested in is only a few hours and then we can duck out and maybe catch an Indians game before driving back. Let the womenfolk do their thing while we have some guy time. What do you say?"

"Yeah, that sounds awesome." Quinn nodded, "Do you think I could try to set up an appointment for those doctors when you're there? I'd prefer if San didn't hear about my dysphoria..."

"Quinn, you _do_ realize you just got finished telling me you _talked_ to my daughter about this, right?" Emilio raised a brow, "_And_ that you want her at your appointments? The fact that you need to have a diagnosis to be prescribed a controlled substance is not a fact that is lost on her. If you don't want her there, that's fine, but you need to make up your mind."

Quinn sighed, "She doesn't need to hear how much I hate myself okay." He said simply, "Let me just get the appointment and talk to the doctor. I'll talk to Santana more, but I don't want her to hear me talk to the doctor... I'll feel like I need to cover it up for her."

"I'm entirely fine with that," Emilio pointed out. "It's your medical situation after all. If you don't want her there, you have the right to your privacy. To be honest, I was surprised when you said you wanted her there earlier."

"Just not for the first... I'll be too scared and I need to do this." He said, "I just need to get this done and get that form saying I can get hormones and then she can come with me if she wants."

"Quinn, as I keep telling you, it's _your_ situation. It's up to _you_ if she does or does not attend your sessions. You don't have to keep justifying your decisions to me or anyone else."

"Okay." He shrugged, "Thanks." Quinn said with a smile before heading out to the lobby. "Have a good trip."

"Have fun being Maria's assistant during the inspection," Emilio laughed. "She's going to run you ragged since Santana and I won't be there to be her go-fors."

"Thanks." He rolled his eyes and waved slightly before heading out to the car.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

He hated it.

Creeping around streets he once walked like he _owned_ as if he were some sort of common _criminal_. Forced to sleep under overpasses and abandoned buildings, his car hidden in a storage unit purchased under a false name outside of town. Not even being able to buy a _bagel_ without worrying that someone would see him and let those pathetic worms that called themselves police know where he was.

He hated all of it and it was all that _creature's_ fault.

_It_ fashioned itself into his daughter's likeness and _corrupted_ her. _It_ corrupted his _wife_ and turned her from her _proper_ place by his side. Made her _run_ from him as if he were a monster when that _creature_ was the _real_ monster.

He was patient though. He knew he would make them - the _creature_ and his _wife_ - pay when the time was right. The most important thing now was to find where his wife had run to.

So he stood behind the shed in the yard across from the Lopez residence, recognizing the car he'd purchased for his _daughter_ parked outside with narrowed eyes. Yet another sign of his wife's insolence and disobedience towards her husband that it wasn't a small crushed cube of scrap metal in a junkyard somewhere. When the _creature_ and Maria Lopez came out and climbed into the small red car and drove off, he knew his time had come.

Pulling the grey hood of his sweater over his head, he slipped across the street in the early morning light. Using the letter opener in his pocket, he pried open the simple switch lock on the kitchen window that overlooked the backyard and slid the window open. It took a little wiggling and some entirely unmanly whimpering, but he managed to crawl through the window into the house.

Looking around, he couldn't find anything that screamed the creature that used to be his daughter, so he climbed the stairs. He'd never visited the family before despite knowing that his daughter considered theirs a friend - disgusting habit associating with the lesser races as if they were equal to his own. Probably led to her corruption into the _creature_.

Finding a room with items he recognized as his daughter's after some trial and error, he sneered as he found a picture of Santana sitting on Quinn's lap while Quinn looked appallingly masculine. Slamming the frame against the desk to break the glass, he slashed the letter opener across their faces then dropped the whole thing to the floor to grind under his bootheel. Smirking down on it as he listened to the sound of breaking wood and glass grinding into the carpet, a piece of paper on the otherwise empty surface of the desk caught his eye.

Snatching the letter he scanned it, smirking in triumph as he realized it was from his wife. Throwing the disgusting tripe back to the desk, he grabbed the envelope from where it had been laying under the letter. That was what he needed. Of course the woman was too stupid to not realize that putting her return address would lead him right to where he needed to go.

Grinning happily to himself, he slammed the letter opener with his calligraphed R engraved on the handle - a match to the one he'd left at his former house - through the middle of the letter to stick quiveringly into the desk. Shoving the envelope into his pocket, he quickly headed downstairs and climbed back out the window, pulling it shut behind him. _No need to alarm these sinners too soon_ he thought to himself as he jogged off in the direction of the storage locker where his car was. He knew where to go now.

Maryland.

* * *

><p>Quinn felt off balance the moment he walked into the Lopez house. It had been a very long day between the health inspector and the busy dinner rush, Maria and Quinn hadn't stopped all day. They had decided to go see a movie after they finished working and were just getting back. It was late and they were both exhausted. Quinn's knee was hurting more and more with every step he took as he climbed the stairs. Maria kissed Quinn's forehead and thanked him for all of his help before saying goodnight and slipping into her bedroom.<p>

After a quick shower, Quinn entered his room. His breath caught. That smell... The lingering aroma of scotch and expensive cologne hit his nose. His eyes darted around and he quickly closed the door and turned on the light. _He's here_ Quinn thought as he looked around the room to find his father. _He _was _here_ the blond determined after a few minutes of frantic searching. His hand hit the shards of glass that resided next to his picture frame and he clutched his hand to his towel before realizing that his knees were also bleeding.

"Fuck," he whispered before carefully putting the towel over the glass and pulling sweatpants over his bleeding knees before pulling on a shirt. As he pulled his shirt over his head his eyes caught sight of the silver letter opener. The boy quickly scrambled into his bed, _he couldn't..._ He couldn't deal with this. He couldn't handle the fact his _father_ was taunting him. He had thought he was safe, obviously he was wrong.

* * *

><p>A bloodcurdling scream rang out from Quinn's room in the early hours of the morning. He was asleep, but his medications were not letting him wake up from his nightmare. His limbs were tangled in his sheets, holding him down and causing a real panic to set in as his mind played cruel images of Russell Fabray holding the letter opener to Quinn's skin as he held the boy down.<p>

Quinn fought the bindings that held him down, his body dripping with sweat, his hand and knees covered in blood and his lungs gasping for air.

Maria woke with a start down the hall. For a moment she clutched at her nightgown, suddenly worried when she reached for her husband and couldn't find him in the brief time before her mind woke up all the way and reminded her that Santana and Emilio were in Chicago visiting Saul. When another scream rang through the house, it slammed another fact into place.

"Oh my God. Quinn," she gasped, throwing herself out of bed and running towards his room.

Quinn was wrapped up in his blankets, one had wound up around his neck causing his face to start to turn slightly blue. He choked out another scream that sounded like _Daddy no! Stop_.

"Oh God," Maria cried, rushing into the room and pulling the blanket from around his neck, "Quinn. Quinn, baby, please, wake up."

"Stop. Please stop." Quinn sobbed, his arms still pinned down. "Please. I'll stop... I'll be Lucy again... Please!" he thrashed around, tears dripping down his face.

"Quinn, wake up," Maria cried, shaking his shoulder and pulling at blankets tangled around his body but not having much luck as he continued to struggle. "Please wake up."

"I'll be good. Leave Mom alone." He screamed as he more or less threw himself off the twin bed. He fell hard on his shoulder, causing him to wake up. His body was trembling as he tried to figure out where he was. "Mom?" He whispered, hoping to God his mom was there to comfort him.

"She's not here, sweetie," Maria whispered, kneeling beside him and pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry, but it's just me. Are you okay?" She noticed the blood smearing his blankets and bed. "Oh my God, you're bleeding! What happened?"

He ran his bloody hand through his hair. "What?" He asked softly, "Oh... He broke my picture," Quinn said softly pointing to the towel on the floor which had a ominous shadow of the letter opener cascading down on the fabric.

"He...? He _who_, Quinn? Come, let's go get you taken care of," Maria murmured, helping him up off the floor. "And stop touching your hair. You're going to have to shower to get that blood out before Santana and my Emilio come home later today."

Quinn was shaking as he got up. "Ow." he whimpered, his body aching as he moved. "I... I got back here and my photo was broken... and the letter opener was there. He came back." Quinn whimpered before falling to the toilet and vomiting as he realized what it meant that his father had come.

"We will call the police," Maria reassured him, getting the first aid kit out from under the sink and finding the bandages, antiseptic and tweezers. "If he was here, then he broke in. He is a vicious and evil man and I will not tolerate him around my family."

The teenager kept dry heaving into the toilet as his body kept shaking. "He's gonna kill me."

"He will not," she stated firmly. "If he even tries, I will ends him."

Quinn sat up and flopped over to sit on his butt. "That's where she gets it." Quinn mumbled as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.

"That's where who gets what?" she asked distractedly, plucking glass from his knees and cleaning the cuts there before bandaging them.

"San," He smiled softly, thinking about his girlfriend calming his heart rate down. "You sounded like her."

Maria smirked up at him, "Well, she is my daughter, Quinn. Who else would she sound like?"

"True." Quinn said with a wince. "I had a really bad dream," he said softly. "I couldn't move."

"You were tangled up in your blankets," she explained, glancing up at him with a wry grin as she covered the cuts with band-aids. "I am beginning to understand why you prefer sleeping with my daughter. It is more as a teddy bear than as a sexual thing, isn't it."

"Yeah... We keep each other grounded," he said softly. "She's also a very good cuddler." He worried his lip for a moment before he looked at the older woman, "Santana and I are not having sex if that's what you're worried about."

"If you mean worried about it in that you and her may be having your relations in this house while her father and I are here, then no, I am not exceptionally worried, Quinn." She sighed softly and reached for his hand to clean and bandage. "I am aware of my daughter being sexually active, if that is what you mean. We taught her to take care of herself and to be a responsible young adult. I have no doubt if the two of you were to be having... sex then it would be because she wanted to have that connection to you. Do realize that I am not entirely happy about her decisions to engage in pre-marital affairs, but I also realize she's not exactly in a position to marry the person she loves at this time."

She smoothed the bandage over his palm gently, "That isn't to say I'm completely comfortable with the two of you being that intimate. However, I realize you're leaving for college soon and will be living together and I have no doubt things will escalate in their time. I'm trusting you with my daughter, Quinn. Please don't hurt her."

"I wouldn't," Quinn said softly. "She's the only person whose ever loved me for me... I would never hurt her."

"That's good to hear," Maria smiled up at him. "Now, I don't know about you, but I feel entirely awake right now. What do you say about joining me in the kitchen for some hot tea or cocoa if you'd prefer it and we watch some old movies on the television?"

"I don't think I could sleep if I tried," he whispered. "I'm so scared of him... I should be a man and suck it up but... I'm scared."

"There's nothing wrong with being scared, Quinn." Maria pointed out as she helped him up and headed downstairs, "And it doesn't make you less of a man to be scared. My Emilio is scared of many things, you don't consider him to not be a man, do you?"

"Yeah. I guess you're right." Quinn agreed, "I knew something was wrong the minute we got back tonight." Quinn admitted, "I could feel him."

"We can call the police now, if you'd like."

"What can they do? There is no evidence of him being here... They let him get away in the first place. My father knew everyone in this town... It will always be my word against his."

"Quinn, you are not being rational. And besides, he left his nasty little knife."

"It's a letter opener," he corrected her. "I wish it would have been a knife, but it's a dull _blunt_ letter opener." He said as his hand came up to rub against his chest unconsciously. "You can call.. but they won't do anything."

"I am sorry, mi Quinn," she whispered, hugging him. "If you do not wish to, then we will not and instead simply have tea or cocoa and watch old films until our loves return home to us."

"I don't... I don't want San to know about this..." He said softly after a few moments of quiet. "I don't want her to be scared."

"Alright," Maria agreed easily enough, handing him a steaming mug of chocolate with marshmallows floating on top. "But you'll have to find a way to explain your photo missing and the cuts on your hand and knee."

"Thanks," Quinn said as he pulled his knees to his chest and watched the liquid. "I'll figure something out. She'll understand if I had a nightmare and knocked it off the dresser."

"If you think that will work," Maria shrugged, sipping her own chocolate. "Do you want to go watch a movie or shall I just make some breakfast?"

"Not really hungry, my stomch hurts." He whined, "Can we watch the cooking channel?" He looked hopeful, knowing Santana hated it but he hoped Maria would want to watch it with him.

She laughed, "Are you sure you are not my son, mi Quinn? Yes, we can watch the Food Network. Come and bring your drink, it will help you calm down." She headed into the living room, turning on the TV and punching in the channel's number from memory before tossing the remote onto the coffee table and patting the sofa beside her. "Come and keep an old woman company, will you?"

He grabbed the blanket and curled into the couch. "You're not old," he argued, "and you are a really good mom." He carefully rested his head on her shoulder, needing the warmth and comfort of someone if he couldn't have his own mom. He was still scared - Russell was still after him. He knew his father would not give up until both he and Judy were dead. Quinn wished he had a number for his mom so she could warn her.

Maria slipped her arm around his shoulders, resting her cheek against the top of his head. "And you are quite the charmer. I see why my daughter fell for you, mi Quinn. You're like her father. Charming and sweet. It will be okay. You'll see."

"I hope so..." He whispered, "I don't think I can take anymore bad things happening." He closed his eyes, "I really wish I could tell my mom to be on the look out for him..."

"Your mom will handle things as she sees fit," Maria pointed out, still not at all pleased with the woman who'd abandoned her child to the care of strangers after allowing him to be harmed as he had been.

"I guess... She doesn't care enough about me to worry about him coming back to kill me... I shouldn't care if she gets hurt," he said, obviously distressed by his statement.

"Nonsense," she hugged him a little closer. "She is your mother and it is a child's nature to worry about her well-being. I may not be well pleased by her abandonment of you, but I would never expect you to not worry about her."

"Okay," he mumbled. "I don't like how I feel right now. I'm scared he's lurking around... watching me."

"This is understandable, mi Quinn," she whispered. "You have been badly hurt at his hands and now he is thrusting himself into your safety zone. It's okay to be scared, sweetie. It's okay to not know what's happening and need help."

"I don't want him to hurt you or Mr. Lopez... I'll kill him if he goes after Santana."

"You worry about Santana and yourself," she turned her head to kiss the top of his. "I promise Emilio and I can handle that no account man if he comes after us."

"If you think so," he whispered. "I sometimes wish he killed me when he had the chance. It hurts too much trying to think about what he will do next."

"Quinn, don't you ever wish you died." Maria spoke firmly without a trace of doubt, "Never wish you were dead. Imagine if Santana didn't have you if you won't think about the positive changes in your own life. I'm her mother. I can see how my child has changed by having you beside her. She is calmer now. Not as prone to rage and long stretches of sullen silence."

"I know... I just..." He sighed, "Everything is really hard and I don't know how to handle it."

"That's life. None of us know how to handle it. We just do our best one day at a time until we make it through whatever is troubling us. And if we're lucky," she smiled at him, "we find some people to help and make the road easier along the way."

He nodded and sighed, "The fact everything sucks now means life gets really good for me..." He looked up, "Right?"

"Mmm, I can't make any promises about the future but you are going away to college to live with my daughter and your best friends." Maria shrugged with a tiny smile, "You're getting out of Lima. And not _everything_ sucks now, does it?"

"Yeah." He nodded, "hopefully It will be great."

"Indeed. And besides, who else would I pass my recipes on to but you, mi Quinn? Luis? Don't make me laugh. The boy is sweet and earnest, but also entirely too raw and not likely to ever become part of my family."

"He hates me still for being with Santana..." Quinn remarked, "Not that it's a huge issue but yeah... I love cooking... thank you for teaching me."

"You will be quite the chef when you're ready if you continue, Quinn." Maria smiled, "One I would be proud to have heading my kitchen."

"That'd be cool!" He smiled, "though I don't know if Santana wants to stay in Lima forever."

"Mmm, this is true." Maria thought for a moment, tapping her chin, "Perhaps when you are ready it will be time to expand to another location. I _suppose_ I could train Luis to be a manager. I'm sure he would be thrilled."

"I'm sure he would." He smiled, "We'll see... I don't even know what do do for a major so I don't know how useful I'll be."

"Well," she spoke slowly, thinking about it, "there's always nutrition. I know my daughter has her heart set on engineering of all things, but I think I've convinced her to minor in business nonetheless."

"I think she'll like engineering." Quinn said, "She's brilliant so it will be good."

Maria laughed, "Try not to feed her ego too much, Quinn! Education is important to my girl, but you need to teach her it's not everything."

"I know." He said taking a sip of his drink. "She knows that too, she just likes to focus on things she's good at."

"Like you?" she teased, squeezing his shoulder.

"She's good at me? Or that I like to focus on things I'm good at?" He asked confused in the meaning.

"She's good at loving you," Maria suggested. "But I admit to being confused as to how that works. I thought she was only interested in women until you came along."

"It's confusing." He admitted, "Sometimes I wonder if it's just because she can remember me as a girl... that's why we broke up before. It was too hard." He took a sip of his hot cocoa, "But, I think the fact we're best friends helps us understand the situation better."

"Perhaps," she shrugged, sipping her own drink. "Santana can be very confusing when she wants to be. I suppose that's just the nature of teenagers though."

"I don't help the situation being what I am," he shrugged. "It's just kinda what I gotta deal with."

"Being what you are?" she seemed confused. "I don't understand."

"Damaged? Different? A freak?" He said, "Take the term you want and assign it. It's not easy at all for me, but I know it's hard for her too. I know she's gonna get treated differently because of me."

"Santana would get treated different because she's a lesbian and a Latina, Quinn. Not because she's dating you." Maria sighed softly and rubbed his shoulder. "Stop being so tied up in your past. It only hurts you and her."

"My past..." He let out a sarcastic chuckle, "Ma'am... I know you care about me but my past... what my father did to me is just one slice of what he did to us all. It's really hard to just let that go. To not be scared, or insecure."

"I do not doubt that, Quinn. But only the people you let know about that will know from now on. You're not tied to him. You can be who you want." She shook her head, shrugging. "But what do I know? I'm just a mother whose daughter happens to be your girlfriend."

"You're a great mom." He said softly, "I'm sorry... I'm just having... It's not a good day. Him being here, the letter opener and the dreams." He sighed, "I'm scared of turning out like them..."

"You have every opportunity to not be, Quinn." Maria pointed out, sighing softly. "And you have my daughter and my Emilio and I to help if you want it."

"I know," he said, taking the moment to cuddle into her. "I never could do this with my mom," he remarked closing his eyes and trying to relax. "They never would hug me... My mom wouldn't allow me to hug my dad, but he would try and force me to hug him and I'd have to unless I wanted to be punished."

"I am not your mom, Quinn," Maria whispered softly, brushing her lips against the top of his head, "but someday, I would be amenable to being your mother-in-law. Of course, if something happens and the two of you fall out in the future, I may just have to adopt you, because I fully intend to be able to call you my son some day."

He smiled and nodded. "Hard to adopt a grown person." Quinn yawned and started to drift off. "Can I stay here? I'm scared to go back to bed."

"Definitely," she whispered, cuddling him close with a little yawn as she watched the bright colors of the Food Network flicker on the TV.

* * *

><p>Judy stepped out of the cafeteria and out into the late afternoon sun. The last six months had been the best and the worst of her life. She had fled Lima, leaving her daughter, no <em>son<em> behind. She fled from her husband after he tried to kill both of them, she knew the only reason she was alive was because she left. Every morning when she woke up the guilt ran through her as she thought of her child laying injured in the hospital begging for her to stay. She knew Quinn was being taken care of but she knew she had let her child down. She had let both of them down for so many years.

She daintily lit the cigarette that was held between her fingers, some days it was easier to go on and try to overcome her past... other day's it wasn't as easy. She inhaled and exhaled, focusing on her breathing to calm her down. Her mind was just playing tricks she told herself. She didn't see Russell across the parking lot of the school earlier that morning. She could have sworn she saw him leaning against his car watching her as she headed into work. But, she kept reminding herself that it was just her mind. No one knew where she had gone.

"Hey there, pretty girl," the deep, cheerfully booming voice of Mr. Estenson came from behind her. "Mind if I join you? I brought sandwiches from Pete's if you're interested."

Judy stomped out her barely touched cigarette before she looked up and smiled, "Hey." She smiled and wiped her hands on her apron. "Yes, please, would you like to sit at the picnic table?" She said as she lead him over. "Did you not have lunch today, Jonathan?" she asked before sitting down.

"Nope," he chuckled, swinging a leg over the bench across the table from her and sitting down, setting his paper bag on the table. "Figured I'd wait until the tykes headed home and eat with the sweetest lunch lady in the district instead." He grinned charmingly as he opened the bag and pulled out the two sandwiches. He knew she wasn't ready for dating, but it was nice being able spend time with her and he genuinely enjoyed being around her.

"Don't you think you already see enough of me?" She blushed, "You see me at work, you see me after work at the meeting, you see me at Church." she looked up bashfully, "I fear you will grow tired of me soon."

"Never," he smirked, taking a bite of his sandwich after pulling a couple bottles of root beer out of the bag and popping the tops off. "Who else am I going to talk to about the little devils? Everyone else is bored already."

Judy carefully cut up her sandwich still not used to having someone encourage her to eat. "Well yes, you may be right." She nibbled slowly on one of the pieces. "How were they today? They seemed overzelous in lunch today."

"Excited that summer break starts today," he laughed. "They're a good bunch though. I've got high hopes for them as they get older. So what are your plans for the summer? Gonna go see that kid of yours you're always talking about?"

"No." She said softly, "I still can't go and see Quinn." She took a sip out of the drink and looked down. "I also can't afford to go back right now and I can't fly..."

"Don't worry," he reached over and patted her hand, "things will work out. And hey, maybe Quinn can come visit you someday. How's that sound?"

"That would be lovely," she sighed, "But God knows I don't deserve that."

"Nonsense," he scoffed, "you're his mom, right? You deserve to see your kid. God knows I'd do anything to see my kid again if I had to be separated from them." He shrugged, "If I had kids, that is."

"Trust me, Johnathan." She smiled sadly, "I won't be surprised when he doesn't want me in his life." She wiped her eyes, "Sorry." She apologized quickly, "It's... it's been a hard day..."

"Don't worry, I know all about hard days _and_ messy divorces," he smiled sympathetically, patting her hand. "You're detoxing on top of everything else. It's hard, but you can do it."

"I'm so nervous all the time." She looked up, "I could swear I saw my husband lurking in the parking lot today... but it's impossible. No one knows where I am."

John glanced towards the parking lot worriedly, "That's weird. I thought you said no one around town reminded you of him. But how about this? If you get worried again, you just come find me and I'll walk you out to your car." He grinned lopsidedly, "After all, who'd mess with me?"

"Yeah." She looked down, "Can... Can I stay with you tonight if Stephanie can't take me?" She asked, scared to be alone. She had crashed with her sponsor a few time in the last few weeks and she didn't want to abuse their friendship.

He blinked, startled but nodded slowly. "Um, sure. Is everything okay, Judy?"

"I'd... I just feel..." she looked away, "I feel uneasy and I don't really trust myself to be alone. I know I won't leave my apartment all weekend in fear if I am. I rather be with someone who I trust and can distract me." She swallowed, "But if you have plans or something... please tell me and I'll figure something out."

He shook his head. "No, no plans. Unless you count grading and figuring out the year end grades for my kids to be plans, cause that's all I'm doing this weekend. Are you sure you want to stay with me though? You know the town is gonna talk if you do and I'd hate to mess up your reputation."

"I'm the former bleach blonde who showed up with two black eyes... and I'm a lunch lady." She smiled softly, "I just... I don't think I can handle being by myself and I really would like to be with my friend if I can." She looked up, "Plus... someone needs to spend sometime with your new kitten."

He chuckled wryly. The kitten had been an impulse purchase to help keep her company in her apartment, but he'd chickened out of giving him to her when he'd overheard someone saying her apartment complex didn't allow pets. "Yeah, I guess so. But if you're really not worried, then you're welcome to my guest room, Judy."

"Thank you, Jonathan." She smiled, before eating a bit more of her sandwich. "I don't really know what I would have done if I hadn't met you."

"Oh, probably a lot of the same," he took a deep breath, leaning back, "just without the handsome eye-candy of my dashing self." He waggled his brows at her, trying to get a laugh.

She chuckled, "You're very immature. Your students must be rubbing off on you." She smiled, "But thank you for lunch... I'll see you tonight at the meeting, right?"

"Naturally. Three years dry doesn't come without commitment," he grinned at her. "If you'd like we can pick something up for dinner on the way back to my place."

"If you wish." She remarked, taking another sip of her drink. "I do really enjoy the big book meetings. Going on each step for a month has really taught me a lot."

"You know, dinner doesn't have to mean anything more than friends, Judy," he pointed out mildly. "Just like you staying for the weekend doesn't mean anything more than friends. I just thought you'd like to have something to eat after the meeting, that's all. It gets lonely eating by myself all the time, you know."

"I know," she smiled, "and I would love to have dinner with my friend." She squeezed his hand and looked at him, "Thank you for understanding and being slow with me."

"Slow's the only speed I go off my bike, pretty lady," he smiled softly before reaching for his bottle and taking a swig of his rootbeer.

"You're ridiculous." She smiled before getting up and waving before heading back into the brick building.

"Maybe," he whispered, watching her go with a little smile, "but you're kinda special, Judy."

He cleaned the things up with a sigh, not realizing that he was being watched by a scowling man in a black sedan across the street. The man frowned before putting the car in gear and driving off.


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N: This a hard chapter. Some very strong language that does not reflect the views or beliefs of me or my writing partner Sio. Forgive us.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 27<strong>

Santana stared at the plain brick building through the windshield of Quinn's car trepedatiously. She didn't know if he'd be different when he came out of therapy or not, but she'd still agreed to be the one to drive him. She was scared of his change and that building seemed like a good focus for her fear.

She didn't want him to change, but she wanted him to be happy. It was a horrible feeling being pulled in two different directions, but slowly the side that just wanted him to be happy was winning out. She was just starting to be scared that the way he wanted to be to be happy would end up making him realize he'd be a lot happier without her and she wasn't entirely sure she could handle losing him.

So she sat outside in the car instead of coming in. Because she couldn't deal with anyone looking at her pityingly or however else cause she was sitting in a shrink's waiting room. She licked her lips and looked up from her magazine for what felt like the hundredth time and tried to quell the nauseating feeling in the pit of her stomach every time her eyes roved over the glass doors and didn't see him.

* * *

><p>After nearly an hour and a half Quinn was released from his first appointment with the shrink. He smiled at the receptionist before scheduling a second appointment. He got out of the building and leaned back on the brick. He got it. He held in his hand the ticket, as it were, to get him to the next phase of his transition. He headed over to the little red car that held his girlfriend and slid in.<p>

"Hey, baby." He smiled softly. "Thank you for waiting."

Santana smiled and put her magazine away, shrugging, "What else would I do? Did everything go well?"

"I guess, yeah." He said, "I got the prescription... We can pick up the shot anytime." He was nervous about the testosterone, mostly about how it would affect his and Santana's relationship.

"Oh, um," she bit her lip, buckling up and starting the car, "I guess we should go pick it up then." The entire thing was making her feel anxious, but she was doing her best to not let it show.

"Are you... are you okay with this?" Quinn asked softly. "I don't have to do it..."

"It'll make you happier," she whispered, pulling out of the lot. "I want you to be happy, Quinn."

"I want you to be happy too..." he whispered. "I'm not gonna change because of this... my body might... but not who I am."

"I hope so," she breathed, taking a deep breath and glancing at Quinn with a little smile. "I don't really know how I feel about all this, Q, but you being happy is more important."

He reached over and took her hand, "Santana... I know I lied to you about who I was for a long time... but for the first time in forever I'm happy and the fact I can try to change my body more to match my mind makes me happy." He kissed her palm. "But you make me more happy and I don't wanna hurt you."

"Don't worry about me, okay?" She squeezed his hand, smiling wanly, "I'll be fine. Just do what you need to do to feel better and I'll figure it out. I just," she shrugged, sighing, "I don't want to be left behind," she whispered softly.

"You're my girl." Quinn smiled. "I'm never going to leave you behind... because I need you here with me always."

"Of course you do," she smirked, "cause I am damn fine and there's no way you could replace me." Hiding insecurity behind false bravado had always been Santana's go to defense. Quinn was the first person who'd even remotely acted like she came first with them and she wasn't proud enough to deny that she wasn't sure what she'd do if she lost him too.

"I wish you'd be honest with me," he said softly. "You shouldn't need to pretend you're not hurt or hurting... I wish you'd be honest sometimes and not put on the HBIC face."

"What's not honest about my being a fine ass bitch?" she smirked, finding it easier to hide than admit she was scared he'd leave her some day.

"S... you're not a bitch." He said simply, "I don't fall in love with bitches." He said before kissing her hand. "I'm never going to leave you... you're gonna have to kick me aside."

"You say that now," she laughed without any humor. "Just wait. No guy stays with me. Not even if I put out, so," she shrugged, "I'll just... I'll take what I can get for as long as I can." She smiled, lips tight as she tried to control her emotions.

"You realize how dumb that sounds right?" Quinn asked her, "I'm still here, loving you more and more... even though we haven't had sex in weeks. I'm gonna love you for as long as you let me."

"Yeah," she shrugged, turning into the lot for the pharmacy, "and now you're changing. Everyone says it won't change who you are but I don't know that. No one knows that. You're changing your _biology_, Q. Why shouldn't I be scared?"

"I'm scared too..." He admitted, "But, it's... I understand it's scary." He wrung his hands and looked over to her. "I'm still gonna be Quinn..."

"Are you?" She parked and turned the car off, looking over at him. "Are you sure? I mean, do you know exactly what this stuff will do to you besides make you look more like a guy?"

"I've done a lot of reading... I emailed it all to you too." He said, understanding that Santana didn't read the text. "But here." He offered her a brochure. "Here you go, it's pretty much summarizing what you wanna know."

She shook her head, tossing the brochure in the backseat. "I've read all this stuff, Q. But papers and stories don't tell me what it's gonna do to _you_. I don't give a shit about all that stuff. I just care about you. Don't you get it? This stuff is freaking me _out_, Quinn."

"Well... Fuck." He sighed, "Just... fuck. Seriously. You think I _want_ to have to do this? But the doctor said it was safe that it would just help regulate me okay? Make me more normal."

Santana raked her hands through her hair. "Dammit, Q, stop for a second and just let me tell you I'm _scared_ okay? That's it. That's what's been messing with me. Okay? I'm fucking _scared_ you're gonna stop being my Quinn!"

"I'm sorry." He whispered, "I'm sorry. It's okay to be scared." He took her hand and kissed it. "I'm sorry, you're scared and I don't know how to help."

"You can't," she whispered, looking at him with a teary smile. "The only thing that's gonna help is seeing what happens. I'm here, okay? I'm not saying don't do this, just... don't push me to tell you everything when what's wrong is I'm scared about something none of us can know."

"Okay..." He sighed, "I guess, I understand."

"Oh, bullshit." She smirked and leaned across the center console to kiss him softly, "I don't even understand, babe. But I'm gonna try and figure it out so you go get your prescription and we can go home and figure out how to give you your first dose, okay?"

He smiled into the kiss and nodded, "Okay..." He hopped out and headed into the store. After getting the prescription and picking out a rose for Santana he paid and came back out to the car. "This is for you, beautiful." He smiled and offered her the flower.

She laughed and took the rose, smelling it before tucking it behind her ear with a smirk. "Thank you, handsome. Let's go and figure out this whole injection thing okay?"

"I don't like needles." He pouted as she drove back to the house. "I don't like them at all."

"Guess that's my job then?" she teased, pulling into the driveway of the house. "Do I gotta make you a man, baby?"

"That sounds so dirty." He smirked, leaning over and pulling her into a kiss.

She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss for a moment before leaning over to whisper in his ear, "I could mean it dirty too, if you want." She slid her tongue along his earlobe for a moment before leaning back with a smirk, "But shouldn't we inject your man juice first?"

"I'll inject you with my man juice." he teased, before getting out of the car.

"You wish," she laughed, getting out and locking up before heading towards the house. "You just want to get up on this again," she gestured down her body as she walked backwards up the stairs, smirking down at him.

"Maybe." he said as he followed her up to the bathroom. "Here?" He asked as he looked at her, nervous to start the next venture of his transition.

She looked around and shrugged, "Or the bedroom. Shouldn't make too much of a mess. Where would you be more comfortable?"

"Bedroom works," He said, "Lemme pee first." He said needed a moment to centre himself before the shot.

"Okay. I'll just go um... get this ready and figure out what to do, okay?" Santana smiled at him, a bit nervous herself as she headed across the hall with the bag of supplies for the shot.

He nodded, closing the door and taking a deep breath. "I can do this." he whispered, before mumbling a soft prayer. Once finished he headed across to Santana's bedroom.

"Hey, baby," she whispered, smiling at him as he came in, the alcohol wipes, syringe, needles and bottle of testosterone on her nightstand. "Where would you like your man juice?" she teased. "In the thigh or in the ass?"

"The ass makes that sentence sound really gay." He remarked, "So, I guess thigh."

"Baby, can you really be gay if your _girl_friend is the one giving it to you in the ass?" Santana smirked, resting a hand on her hip. "I just wanna know if you want to see me stick you or not."

"I can close my eyes... Or look at you." He said softly, unbuckling his pants and sliding them down his legs. He sat on her bed in light blue boxer briefs and watched her. "You okay with doing this?"

"Honestly?" she asked pulling on a pair of gloves to make things as sterile as possible and prepping the syringe and bottle before filing the syringe, "Not completely, but I'll deal." She smirked at him, "I mean, if anyone's gonna make you a man, it should be your girlfriend, right?" She carefully filled the syringe to the dose he'd been prescribed. "Maybe next time I should wear my candystripper outfit, hmm?"

"Mmm." He moaned just thinking about it. "Please... I would enjoy playing doctor with you." He smiled and leaned up and kissed her. "We're in this together okay? Not just me but us... if that's what you want."

"Mostly you," she smirked, kissing him as she jabbed the needle into his thigh. "See? Just a little prick," she teased, pulling back to make sure she hadn't hit a vein before pushing the dose into his muscle. Pulling the needle back out, she capped it and tossed it onto the nightstand before grabbing a band-aid to cover the blood slowly seeping out of the prick. "So, how's it feel?" she asked, rubbing his thigh to massage the hormone into the muscle.

"Ow..." He complained, as her lips left his. "That hurts." He made a face and glared at his thigh. "I don't like the needle part of that."

"Maybe I just need to distract you more next time," she whispered, pulling off the gloves and crawling onto the bed to straddle his hips. "Hi."

He wrapped her arms around her waist. "Sounds nice." He remarked, "Thank you for sticking me."

Santana laughed, leaning in to nuzzle his neck. "Don't tempt me to stick you for real," she teased. "I'm not sure you're up to being pegged, baby."

"No thank you, I'm not Sam." He smiled and held her tightly. "I love you, San."

"I love you too," she murmured, smiling softly and running a hand through his hair before she leaned in and kissed him, nipping at his lower lip and teasing gently.

He smoothed his hands down her back and kissed her gently, "You know that one of the side effects of T is increased sex drive, right?" he asked softly, "Are... when that happens will you want me as I am... or with my dick."

"Idiot," she laughed, smirking down at him with her fingers tangled in his hair. "Isn't your dick part of you? Q, I just want you. Isn't that enough?"

"I'm just asking.. you know, because of when we fought." He reminded her, "I don't want you to not enjoy sex."

Santana sat up and rolled her eyes, "Q, you're being an idiot." She pulled her shirt off, reaching back to unhook her bra, "Look at me for a second please," she tossed her top and bra away, leaving her topless, her nipples visibly hard even in the warm room. "Do I _look_ like someone who doesn't want you? When you fucked me did you ever need lube? Seriously, with how wet I get for you do you _really_ believe I'm not enjoying myself?"

"I just... what you said scared me and I want to make sure, okay?" He said simply, his hands moving up to her ribcage.

"Like what?" she asked softly, grinding slightly into his lap, "Like how I get off harder on your fingers and mouth?" She shrugged, "That's true for lots of women, Q. Different stimulation gets different results. And you are fucking _amazing_ with your fingers and tongue, baby."

"Please don't play this like I'm crazy for reading into this..." he sighed, "Never mind."

Santana sighed, "Quinn, you're not crazy, but you are putting a lot more importance on the crap I yell when I'm pissed off and scared than you should be. You know me. You know I say shit just to hurt the person I'm pissed off with or scared of. Baby, I love you. I love your dick - even if Kelly _did_ sell it to you or Sam bought it for you and _Blaine_ helped you put it on the first time. I fucking enjoy when you fuck me so hard I can barely breathe and I love it when you love me so slow and gentle I think I'm going to explode by the time I finally come."

She stretched out on top of him, crossing her arms loosely above his head, "I just love you, okay? Just you and no one else."

"I love you too," he said softly, "I know that you love me and I know you have a tendency to run your mouth... but it hurt my feelings and as much as I need to understand how you feel about my transition, you need to understand you hurt me pretty bad."

"I know," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder, "and I spent the next few days looking everywhere for you so I could apologize too. But everyone was protecting you and shutting me out and I couldn't even say I was sorry for being such a bitch to you. The worst part was that most of it was lies and it felt like ripping my heart out to say it to you. I was just hurting so bad right then that I wanted you to hurt like I was."

"I mean, I know I've got a reputation as a dirty slut and I was pushing you the wrong way, but it still hurt me a lot to hear you call me that..."

"You're not a slut and I know that," he said softly, "I didn't know the line. I didn't know what was too far. I was just using words that you more or less said yourself. I'm so, so sorry I called you that." He said softly, "I feel so bad for hurting you like that."

"I think maybe before I ask you for stuff like that, I should tell you what's okay first," she suggested, enjoying snuggling on top of him even if she knew she'd have to put her top back on at least before her parents came home.

"I'm still really new at all of this," he reminded her. "Sex... with you is amazing and I don't love being pushed to possess you or whatever it is you want. It makes me feel... it made me feel like my dad when you made me do that."

"Ugh, I didn't even think about that," she shuddered. "I'm so sorry, Q. I never wanted to make you feel like that. I just," she shrugged, "I like when you make me feel like I belong to you. Like you won't let anyone take me away. Like, you know... you'd fight for me before you let me go. I like when you say things like I'm yours. That doesn't make you feel like your dad, does it?"

"I mean... I grew up as his property." Quinn explained, "I watched how he treated my mom and sister and me... I don't want to associate those feelings with you." He kissed her shoulder. "I would never let anyone take you away or hurt you... I just need to find another way of making you believe that."

"It's not," she licked her lips, trying to think of a way to phrase it, "it's not like that. I don't want that sort of creepy stalker possessiveness your dad had. I want something more like... I belong to you because you love me and I'm the only one you want. I want to feel like I'm that important to you when we have sex. Like if we were in a club and someone kept trying to pick me up, I'd get so hot seeing you tell him off and I'd want to have sex with you in an alley or the back of our car... that's not so bad is it?"

"Not at all..." He looked at her curiously, "But isn't that just love? Shouldn't we have that because we love each other? I know I do..."

"Well... yeah. But I want you to be firm with me sometimes, Q. Not always, I mean, I love when you're gentle too, but sometimes I just want you to... to _fuck_ me, you know?" she shrugged, having trouble explaining, "Like in the car that first time when I didn't know who you were. Just... hard enough I feel you the next day when I'm trying to walk." She winced, "That doesn't make you feel like your dad, does it?"

"No... that I can do." He smiled, as he ran his hands up and down her back. "I just don't like having to call you things or when you talk about other people in bed."

"Oh... it um... It worked on other guys so I thought it would work on you," she bit her lip, feeling bad about it. "I was lying... about Puck. I never let him do that. He asked. Like _all_ the time. But I never let him. I never let anyone."

"Good." Quinn remarked, "No one but me will ever touch you again, okay? As long as you let me love you."

She nodded, relaxing into him and nuzzling his neck. "Good," she whispered softly, kissing the corner of his jaw, "cause I plan on letting you love me for a long damn time. Now... do you think maybe we can change into pjs and cuddle until dinner? I kinda want to take a nap with you if that's okay and I don't want my parents freaking out when they find you in here."

"Yeah, throw on a shirt and I'll wait for you." He smiled and scooted back on the bed and laid down.

Santana laughed, crawling off him. "You just wanna watch my tits as I look for a shirt," she teased, putting her hands under them and pushing them up as she backed towards her dresser. "Get a good look, handsome, cause you're not getting to see them again until we're both ready to do the deed again, got it?"

"Man, that's not fair," he pouted, "I like your tits..."

"Didn't say you wouldn't get to _feel_ ﾑem, baby," she pointed out, pulling a shirt over her head and smoothing it down over the shorts she'd worn out. "Just that I don't want you to _see_ them again until I'm naked and dripping for your dick."

He smirked. "Sounds like something to look forward too," he said as he opened his arms for her when she crawled back in the bed. He looped his arms around her and rested a hand on her breast. "Mine," he joked as he kissed her softly.

"See?" she smiled at him, snuggling into his body until they fit together like they were designed to be like that from the beginning, "That's the kind of possessive I want, baby."

"That kind I can handle," he whispered.

"Good," she breathed, yawning as she relaxed against him, moments from sleep. "Because that's the best kind."

* * *

><p>He could feel it pulsing in his veins every time he saw them together. The hate and rage mingled into a potent tide storming through his blood. He was betrayed in the most vile manner.<p>

A _black_ man. A _negro_. That was the sort of _filth_ his _wife_ was associating with. _Desecrating_ her body with a lesser race. It was disgusting to even contemplate.

He hated seeing them together. Each laugh and smile felt like a stinging slap across his face. Every time their hands even brushed, his fingers tightened on the cool silver of the letter opener in his pocket. It wasn't one of his, but it would do. It would _serve_.

He wanted to tear him open. Make the ape bleed like he did the creature that used to be his daughter. He'd wash her sins away with the blood that pulsed through the beast's veins. He could be magnanimous. He'd take her back despite her sins against him. Teach her the way to be a proper wife again.

They'd try again.

Yes, she was aging. Childbirth might be difficult on her after the difficulties with the first two, but she _owed_ him a second child after presenting him with an abomination as his offspring. Her sins made flesh through her womb. There was no way that disgusting wretch was born of his loins. It was lucky those filthy spics were willing to take it in but when the time was right he'd erase that abomination too.

He lamented the loss of his daughter. She would have been a proper daughter, honoring her father by not fighting the way her sister had. She was small like her mother. Pliant the way a woman _should_ be.

He groaned, reaching down to rub the hardness in his pants as he thought about her blossoming body. It was his _duty_ as her father to ensure she was properly trained to take up her wifely duties. Trained in _all_ areas, from the kitchen to the bedroom.

His head hit the glass of the car's window with a low moan as he undid his pants and gripped his bulging hardness, stroking it urgently as his thoughts played out on the back of his closed eyelids. He could see her on her properly pink bed, undressed as he'd have instructed and ready to begin her lessons on how to properly please her husband. He could feel his testicles tightening up as he imagined how tight she'd have been as she spread her legs for him and allowed him to set the first seed to her fertile fields as was right and proper.

Her sister had fought. Had _always_ fought. She didn't know her place. He'd had to tie her down to prepare her. Gag her to keep her from screaming when Judy and Quinn had been in the house and _still_ she'd resisted.

He'd been forced to hit her. He hadn't wanted to. He never wanted to strike his women but they _always_ forced him. He had to punish them so they'd know their place.

Eventually, she'd stopped fighting. Stopped resisting his efforts to prepare her and had allowed him to ready her. That was how he'd known she was ready to be wed. Chief Matterly had been properly appreciative of how prepared his new bride was as well.

He grunted as he felt his orgasm coming faster, pulling his hand away and tucking himself in before he could come. Straightening, he started the car and pulled away from his place by the school. He needed to find a proper receptacle for his seed. Whores were filthy, but at least they were plentiful and bore the shape of a proper vessel for his seed instead of spilling it on the ground and sinfully wasting it.

* * *

><p>Judy lowered herself down onto the wood floor in John's living room. She had on a simple pair of jeans and a sweatshirt she had been given at the women's shelter she stayed at for a few weeks in Washington, DC before heading into Maryland. She had her newly dyed brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and she wore no make up and still she smiled. She was never allowed to dress like this when she was married, she always had to be presentable and in a dress for her husband.<p>

She thought she saw him again the night before. When she and John left the evening AA meeting held at the church they both attended. She could have sworn she saw him in the car parked in the back of the parking lot. She shook her head and ignored the feeling and walked closer to John and headed into her car to drive to his house. She had slept more that night than she had in the recent week - she always slept better knowing someone else was there and she was in a alarmed house.

John's tiny kitten climbed up on her leg as she scratched its head with a soft smile, "Did you name him yet?" She asked as she let her fingers comb through the kitten's soft fur.

He looked up from the papers spread on the coffee table with a sheepish smile. "Not yet, I'm afraid. Maybe you'd like to do the honors? I've never been very good at naming things."

She picked up the small orange kitten and snuggled it on her shoulder before standing up and going to pour them both coffee. "Neither am I," she said softly, as she fixed his coffee with lots of sweetener and milk and her own with just milk. She brought the cups over to the table and sat down with him. "What have you been calling him then?" she asked settling him down on her thighs once she sat.

"Cat," he smirked, taking the cup with a grateful smile and taking a sip. "You know you don't have to make my coffee, Judy. I'm perfectly capable of getting up and doing it myself. Not that I don't appreciate it. You just don't have to put yourself out for my sake. You're a guest in my home after all."

"It's fine," She said, "And you've been calling this little ball of fur _cat_?" she smiled and shook her head, "You're a peculiar man, Johnathan." She looked down at the kitten and smiled, "My children always wanted a cat when they were little."

"He _is_ a cat," he shrugged, watching her with an amused smile for a moment before turning back to his papers. "Sometimes I call him Little Shit. Is that better?" He chuckled softly, turning a page. "But yeah, most kids want pets. They're good for teaching responsibility, but just watch, most of the time the parents end up taking up the slack cause the kids are allowed to have the pet too early. Why couldn't your kids? Allergies?"

Judy looked down, "My husband was the reason we couldn't have anything." She explained, "He didn't like things to pester him. He didn't even want the children around before they could talk or walk." She pet the little animal with a sad smile, "And don't curse it makes you sound less intelligent then you are, plus the cat needs a proper name. What about Carter or Trevor?"

"No offense, Judy, but it sounds like you married a real dick. And I'd like to see you not curse when he decides it's time to wake _you_ up by burying his little needle claws into certain sensitive bits of your anatomy." He pointed at her with his red grading pen, laughing. "Isn't Carter or Trevor a bit, I don't know, human for a cat? What about Bugsy or Orange? I mean, he's pretty orange, don't you think?"

"Tangerine? Mango?" She smiled, "Just because you are _sensitive_ does not make little Mango a brat." She smiled and kissed the cats head. "My husband... he has anger issues." she looked away, "He didn't like me or our children the way he should."

"Sounds like it and I am not _sensitive_," he defended himself. "That pole is _not_ to be used to sharpen kitten claws!"

"Oh gosh!" Judy gasped, "I'm... I'm sorry I didn't realize... I'm sorry!" She blushed and looked down.

John laughed. "It's not that big a deal, Judy, no permanent damage. Don't be embarrassed, but you have to admit, that's a sensitive bit of the anatomy, don't you?" He jotted down a couple of numbers into his gradebook before smiling at her. "Now do you see why I consider him a brat on occasion?"

"True. Bad Mango." She scolded the kitten.

The little kitten just looked up at her with big eyes and mewled softly before batting at her scolding finger. John laughed, "I don't think he gets it." Jotting down a last grade, he closed his gradebook with a pleased sigh and started shuffling his papers together. "Well, that's that for another year. How about I whip up a nice batch of pasta primavera for dinner? It's kind of a specialty of mine."

"Already thinking about food and we haven't finished coffee." She smiled.

"Pretty girl, I am _always_ thinking about food," he laughed, patting his stomach. "But you don't have to do a thing. Just relax and let me take care of things in the kitchen. A man's gotta know how to cook if he wants to impress the ladies like my momma always said!"

"That is very different then what my mother told me..." She remarked.

"No offense on your mother, Judy," John headed into the kitchen, only to reappear moments later tying an apron on, "but which do you prefer? A mother that says women should serve men, or one that says the ladies love a man who can cook and clean? My dad used to have an apron that said _Nothing Says Lovin' Like An Apron On Your Husban'_." He laughed, "Well, he did until the dog got a hold of it and ate the barbecue sauce stains off."

She giggled, "Your family sounds lovely." She smiled, "Are you close with them? Do they live around this area?"

"They used to," he smiled wistfully, ducking his head to watch himself tie his apron strings. "Momma passed away a couple years back and dad died in December of '98. They were good people though. You probably would have liked them."

"They created you," She smiled, "So I'm sure they were lovely people." She took a sip of her coffee and focused on the kitten. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Flatterer," he teased, smiling and heading in to start prepping to cook. "But yeah, I've got a sister up in Connecticut and a brother out west with the Navy. We try to get together about once a year but it doesn't always work out. What about you? What's your family like?"

"Very conservative parents. I'm from Ohio, I've never really been outside of it until now." She admitted, "My father was a pastor but died when I was about ten and my mother never really did much of anything. She lived off of an inheritance from her family. I don't have any siblings..."

"Sounds lonely. You oughta tag along to one of my family shindigs this summer." He poked his head out of the kitchen and waggled his brows at her with a cheeky grin, "You can be my _date_, which is another way of saying savior in this case as my aunts are _all_ about trying to play matchmaker with me since my divorce and I need a cover to get them to lay off. But you might like to see how the _non_-conservative side of things work out."

"That would be lovely." She smiled, "Since school's out, I'll probably work at the church... My sponsor has a connection there and she said that I could easily pick up the opening for a receptionist." She smiled liking being able to provide for herself. "It wasn't that bad, I had my first child pretty young and she kept me company."

"Children are to be our pride and joy, Judy, not company." He glanced out of the kitchen at her, concerned. "Husbands are supposed to take care of and be the first friend of their wives. Didn't you have any friends?"

"No." She said simply, "I didn't need any friends. I wasn't to leave my house without Russell... I had my children to take care of. They were my priority." she looked away, knowing she failed both of her children in the worst ways.

He stepped out of the kitchen with a worried frown, "Judy, that's not a marriage, that's a prison. Why in God's name did you ever agree to marry an asshole like that?"

"Because." She said her eyes still locked on the little ball of fur purring in her lap. "I loved him." She lied and closed her eyes, remembering his words reminding her that she was his and no one would ever love her. "I got pregnant and we got married."

"You _loved_ him?" He stared at her dumbfounded, looking appalled. "Judy, the man left you with two black eyes! I know you're smarter than to stay with someone who abuses you just because you love him."

"Johnathan..." She whispered, "I have two children with him. I had my daughter at 16..." She swallowed, "I'm not really in the best position to make the decision whether I can or can't stay with someone. I don't even have a high school diploma."

"Alright then, that settles it." He nodded, wiping his hands on the towel he'd tucked in his apron. "This summer, we're going to crash course high school and you're getting your GED. You're entirely too intelligent to be languishing without an education. You're a smart - and still entirely young - woman, Judy. I bet with a bit of effort you could have that diploma by the end of the summer. What do you say?"

"You'll..." She looked at him, "You'll help me?" a smile breaking out on her face. "Quinn... Quinn will be so proud, John... He's the only one of the kids to graduate. He'd be so proud."

"Of course I'll help you, woman!" He laughed as if she'd just said something completely ridiculous, "I _am_ a teacher, aren't I? _And_ your friend. My momma raised me to respect women but she didn't raise me to think they were fools just because they're shaped different than me, Judy. I love women. As a whole. And I believe they can achieve any damn thing they set their mind to. And if they need a bit of help here and there, well, that's what men are for, don't you think?" He smiled. "I think I'd like to meet your boy someday. He sounds like a good man."

"I hope he's learning how to be one... He didn't have any good role models as a child." She sighed, "I was a terrible parent and his father..." she looked away knowing how badly she let her husband treat Quinn. "I failed both of my children."

"Judy," he tossed the towel on the counter after mixing the vegetables and pasta together with the sauce, coming in and kneeling in front of her, "listen to me. Failing depends on what's happened by the end of everything. Yeah, you've had a bad start, but you're still here and both of your kids are still alive, right? That means you've still got time. The race isn't over yet and there's still a lot of running left in you. Don't give up on yourself so quick, alright?"

"You don't know what I let him do to them... You won't think that it's all okay if you knew." She looked away and wiped her eyes, "They're not okay... I don't know if they ever will be."

"Well, why don't you tell me, pretty girl?" he asked softly, reaching up to wipe her tears away with a gentle thumb. "I know the man's a coward and a monster who beats women. Just give me another reason to hate him. I promise I won't judge you for any of it."

"He hurt them." She whispered, "He hurt them so bad and I let him..."

"Bull," he growled, angry at the thought of a man hurting his kids, "unless you held them down or gave him the tools to beat them, you didn't _let_ him do jack. Got it? What'd he do? You can tell me, Judy..."

"He..." she put the kitten down on the floor and curled into herself. "He hurt my eldest. Frannie. He hit all of us... but he... he... he touched her in ways a father shouldn't." she looked away. "I was... I drank to ignore the fact he was hurting me like that and I didn't see him hurting her."

"Judy, did he," he looked nauseous, "did he _rape_ his _daughter_? God, did he do that to _you_?"

She looked down and closed his eyes. She took shallow breaths through her newly healed nose and nodded slowly, "He's been doing that to me since I was 15... that's when he started on her."

John's jaw clenched. "I'll kill him," he growled, his hands balling into fists. "The damn _monster_!" He rose to his feet, pacing to wear down the rage in his system. "How _dare_ he call himself a man! What about Quinn? He didn't touch your boy, did he?"

"I managed to keep his interest off Quinn..." she said softly, "He only hit him and... then what happened before I had to leave." She looked down, "We weren't what Russell wanted he liked to remind us... Quinn was his perfect thing, until... he wasn't anymore."

"How is that failing him, Judy?" He stood in the middle of the room, looking strong and powerful in building but his eyes were soft as he looked at her. "How did you fail Quinn if you kept that monster away from him? As to beating," he shook his head, "you're tiny, Judy. No one would expect you to be able to stop someone bigger than you. And he beat you too. But what do you mean about Quinn being his perfect thing until he wasn't? Did he have a problem with his son too?"

"Yes..." She whispered, "He made my daughter go away and then when it was just me and Quinn... He tried very hard to make Quinn who he wanted... and that didn't work... My child had quite the rebellious streak that his sister did not inherent and she didn't get to discover. She was married off when she turned 18." Judy looked down, "My daughter doesn't speak to me and I doubt she would have helped Quinn if she could. She was brainwashed and broken."

"Lord God, protect the children of this monster," he whispered softly before dropping to his knees in front of Judy again. "Judy, if I were your daughter, I wouldn't speak to anyone. The good Lord knows I probably wouldn't even be alive. It's not your fault. The sin is entirely on him. The Lord gives us children to protect and cherish, not harm. What he did to you and your daughter is a sin. A horrible sin. And God will judge him harshly for it."

"They are my children." She whispered, "I... I helped create them and then I let him break them apart. I sat in the other room and drank while he raped my daughter and cut apart my son."

"These six things doth the Lord hate," he spoke softly, quoting the Bible they both cherished as he took her hands, "yea, seven are an abomination unto him. A proud look, a lying tongue and hands that shed innocent blood. A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies and he that soweth discord among breathren." He squeezed her hands gently, "You're not the one who did these things, Judy. Yes, you hid in alcohol and that was wrong but it was far more wrong for him to abuse you and your children. Far more."

"I miss Quinn." She whispered, "I left when he needed me the most."

"I'm sure he misses you too. Why don't you save up money and make plans to visit him?" He smiled softly up at her, "I know I'd love to see my momma again even though I'm a grown man. A boy always wants his momma, Judy."

"He won't want to see me." She whispered, "He was almost dead when I left. I had to kick him out _bleeding_ and go back to my husband... I abandoned him. He begged me to stay and I can't... I can't go back there while Russell is still around."

"Don't assume he won't want to see you, Judy." He ran his thumbs over the backs of her hands. "You don't know that. I can understand not wanting to risk the monster you're divorcing, but once he's out of the picture, you need to strongly consider going back to him. Boys need their moms."

"He's a special boy." She whispered, "I wasn't there to protect him. I tried to help him hide but it just made everything worse." She sniffled, "I love my son more than anything."

"Hide? Judy, you're not making any sense."

"My son is different, John." She whispered, "He was born a girl... but... he... he's my little boy." She wiped her eyes, "Russell tried to kill him because he was discovering and trying to be who he was."

John was quiet for a moment, just kneeling there and trying to absorb what she'd told him. He'd never known any transgendered people as far as he knew, but his parents hadn't raised him to judge people. "That's no excuse to hurt a child, Judy. And your boy will always be that monster's child. He has so much to answer for and I wish I could be the one to deliver the questions. I'd still like to meet your son some day, if that's okay?"

"I would like to see what he looks like as a boy." She whispered, "I haven't seen him since.. since he was in the hospital. I bet he's so handsome." She blinked, "The only picture I have is his cheerleading photo and he looks so unhappy." She picked up the kitten who was trying to hop up her leg. "He's my child and I want him to he happy and I know me being around him wouldn't let him be happy."

"Don't be foolish. He's your son. I'm sure he wants to see you, Judy. He'd be more unhappy never seeing you again, I'm sure." John soothed her, smiling at her and rubbing her hands. "Come on, let's get some food in you and you can cuddle with Mango in the guest room or we could watch a movie, whatever you like to do to unwind after a long day. How's that sound?"

"Can we watch a movie?" she asked shyly, "I don't think I want to be alone right now..." She got up and started going to help him in the kitchen. "You're a very good friend, Johnathan."

"Sounds like a plan." He chuckled softly as he pulled plates and glasses down out of the cabinets. "Now there's something I hear a lot. Even my ex-wife says I'm a good friend. Well, she does when she's not yelling at me about something. Only thing I regret about my marriage over all though? No kids. It's a shame."

"I've seen you with your students..." she smiled fondly, "it's beautiful. You'd be a great father." she remarked as she poured them some water.

He laughed, "Couldn't prove it from some of the stuff my ex says." He glanced over at her with a smirk. "Of course, she's also called me the devil incarnate a couple of times. Maybe cause I got the house."

"It is a lovely house." She smiled, "could use a woman's touch, but it's very you." She set the table and folded napkins. "I don't think you are the devil incarnate, I'm married to him and you are nothing like that."

John smirked, bringing the food out and setting it on the table in a nice bowl. "Well, good to know and your husband _is_ a complete asshole, but doesn't every woman think their ex-husband is the devil incarnate?" He carefully served out two equal portions of the pasta and vegetable mix in the bowl. "Do you want any pepper, by the way? I didn't add any because I wasn't sure, but I have a grinder in the kitchen."

"No, it looks lovely." She smiled and moved to get the cheese dispenser to prepare his food before hers.

"Judy," he rested a hand over hers with a gentle smile, "you don't have to serve me. You're my guest and my friend and it's my honor to serve you so just relax, okay?"

"Sorry..." She said before sitting down and daintily putting her napkin on her lap. "I guess old habits are hard to change. I still think about reaching for a bottle of wine when I get home from the school, and when I sit down to write to Quinn."

"Grab grape juice instead," he shrugged. "It's what I do. Or tea or water. Sometimes rootbeer. Just something to let you have the familiar motion without the alcohol. Eventually, you don't even need that, but I do enjoy a nice mug of hot tea after a long day to unwind."

"Easier to say than do," she smiled before taking a small bite of her dinner. "But, I take it one hour at a time these days. More like second to second."

"That's the best way," he grinned, taking a bite. After a little bit of quiet eating he gestured towards her barely touched plate. "Is something wrong? You're hardly eating."

"Oh." She looked confused for a moment not sure as to how to react to someone paying attention to how she ate. "It's very good, but I don't eat much. You are a very good chef, maybe you should be a lunch lady." She teased.

"No, I prefer to be on the other side of the counter wrangling the herds of eight to nine year olds," he joked. "But you should eat more. You're barely skin and bones as it is. Enjoy food and you enjoy life. They kinda go hand in hand in my book."

She blushed. "I'm plenty big enough," she remarked, "but I'm trying to eat more..."

"Good cause I'd hate it if you blew away in the next storm," he teased. "Come on, eat a little more then we can have some pie later. I bought one of Sandy's Dutch apple pies at the bake sale last weekend and have been just dying for some company to dig in with. I've got vanilla ice cream to go on top too."

"You are terrible." She smiled and ate a couple more bites. "I think that pie sounds lovely. I will have to make you one someday, I've gotten quite good at it."

"Oh, don't you tease me with pie and fail to deliver, pretty lady. I'll have you know that's my fatal weakness." He grinned, leaning back in his chair, "I do love a nice, warm slice of pie with a good scoop of ice cream melting on top. Just kills my diets when I try them on."

"You don't need any diet." She smiled, "You are perfect." she said bashfully. "I'll make you blackberry or sweet potato pie someday."

He threw back his head laughing. "Perfect? Lord God above, woman, you should have seen me in my prime! I got through college on a wrestling scholarship. I was one lean, mean, fighting machine." He patted his stomach, "This now, this is going on twenty years teaching and living the good life without worrying about my weight. I'm plenty padded now. Probably a bit more than I should be according to the doc."

"If you're not happy with it, I could help you work out. It's good to work off some of the stress of life." She offered, "I've recently taken up yoga since I've come here."

"Yoga, huh?" he looked at her with an odd expression, "I, ah... might just take up walking a bit more. Maybe get one of those elliptical things for when it's bitter out. Yoga might be just a tad too, um, advanced for me right now." He glanced away, grateful for once that his dark skin made it hard to see when he was blushing. "I'm sure you're great at it though."

"The women's rehab centre recommended it and it's a free class." she shrugged, "What movie would you like to watch?" she asked as she started to gather her dishes, "Once I help you wash the dishes."

"I don't know about you, but I've always been partial to old black and whites," he shrugged, moving to fill the sink with soapy water after putting the rest of the pasta away. "You know, the classics, with like Cary Grant and Sinatra. Don't you go telling any of the guys I ride with on our poker runs but I like the old romances, don't you?"

"I don't think I've ever seen any of those." She smiled, she grabbed the sponge and rubber gloves and started washing the dishes. "But, as long as I can have a blanket and Mango, I'm a happy woman."

"Woman, how many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to wait on me?" he laughed when he turned around from the fridge and realized she was elbow deep in soap and dirty dishes already. "My momma raised a man who could fend for himself. I don't expect anyone, and certainly not a pretty woman like yourself, to take care of me. I can wash those you know."

"You cooked, I can wash a silly dish." she replied, "Now go find a movie and I would like your heated blanket if it's not too much trouble." she raised her eyebrow, "And please feed your cat before he tries to eat you." she nodded to the kitten staring at John with a desperate glare.

He laughed, shaking his head. "Yes, mistress." Heading over to the cupboard, he grabbed a tin of cat food out and peeled it open, using a fork to scoop half of it into the kitty dish and added a small scoop of kitty kibble to go with it. "There you go, Mango. Eat up."

Putting the rest of the wet food in the fridge with some plastic over it, he smirked at her. "And how's that, my lady? Shall I get your blanket now and get it plugged in and warming for you now?" he teased, grinning to show he didn't mean anything by it.

"Thank you so much." she smiled, "Me and Mango will come I will come in when we are done."

"Mango and _I_, my dear. And you're waking up in the guest room even if I have to carry you this time," he joked. "I know my couch is comfortable, but there's nothing wrong with the bed, I promise."

She just shook her head and rolled her eyes as she finished doing the dishes. She scooped up the kitten and snugged him as she walked into the living room and sat down on the blanket and wrapped herself up in it. "This is the best thing ever."

"That old thing?" He smirked, "Maybe if you're lucky, I'll get you one of your own for Christmas. They even make them in microplush now so they're warm _and_ fuzzy." He'd flipped on the tv, switching it to an old Cary Grant film. "You comfortable over there with _Mango_?"

"Yes, he and I are very happy." she smiled and rested back. She pet the kitten as she watched the movie, her eyes drooping as she watched the film until she finally nodded off, her head lolling back against the couch.

John glanced over as the end credits ran and shook his head. "Dammit, Judy, now I'm gonna have to carry you." Sighing, he got up and turned the TV off. Unplugging the blanket, he carefully wrapped her a little tighter and picked her and Mango up in the warm blanket. The kitten let out a little mrwl of surprised at the sudden movement. "Hush you. You can stay where you are," he whispered, making his way down the hall.

Pushing the door to the guest bedroom open, he got her to the bed, laying her on one side and pulling the blankets back on the other before rolling her into bed. Grabbing the trailing cord, he plugged it into the wall and carefully tucked her in with just the sheet from the bed, folding the heavy comforter back so she wouldn't get too hot. "Sleep well, Judy," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead and give Mango's head a little rub before heading out of the room and pulling the door mostly closed.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

She really didn't care how many guys were helping, moving into an apartment on the eleventh floor in the summer in Ohio was hot and sweaty and not at all in the fun way. Santana dropped the box of kitchen things her parents had insisting on sending with her and Quinn on the counter and mopped at her head with the back of her arm, panting slightly. She stepped to the open window and leaned out, grateful for the cooling breeze as she glanced down at Sam and Blaine pulling the last two bags out of the trailer they'd rented.

Quinn grunted as he carried the last piece of the bedframe into their bedroom, his newly defined muscles flexing under his black tank top. He put the heavy metal and wood based bedframe they had picked up in the damaged department of Ikea when Santana's mom insisted on a trip down with a grunt.

"Fuck we have so much crap!" Quinn exclaimed as he put down the frame and tried to catch his breath. "My arms are going to fall off."

"Geez, Q," Santana chuckled, grabbing a glass out of the box she'd just carried in and filling it with water and ice from the fridge to take into him. "You didn't have to carry that up by yourself, I would have helped. Or even one of the boys. Here," she handed him the glass.

"Thanks, babe." he said as he took a sip of the water. "I just wanted to get it up, the other guys are bringing up the book case."

"The bookcase is in pieces still," she pointed out, reaching up to rub his shoulders. "You don't have to show off your macho new self for me, babe. I already know you're hot." She looked around at the disassembled furniture and groaned, "Ugh, why did Mami have to insist on Ikea crap? This is gonna be a bitch to put together..."

"It's only the bookcase and the bed." He reminded her, "Everything else is put together for the most part." He motioned to the black couch, "The real bitch is gonna be hanging up all of you and Blaine's clothing in the closets!" he smirked and kissed her hand.

"Yeah, but we're doing that ourselves," she pointed out with a smirk. "And like you wouldn't have as much clothes yourself if you could. I'm glad your hair is still so light. Half the time I think I'm dating Bieber."

"I'm way hotter than Beiber, Santana." He smiled and kissed her softly, "And I can sing better too."

"Duh," she laughed, "but you have got to wear some looser pants, baby." She plucked at his tight jeans, "These are lesbian chic. Can I take you to get some more clothes now that we're in our own place this weekend?"

"Sure, but the sad thing is these are the only ones that fit," he pouted. "Blaine's cast offs because I'm fucking annoying skinny."

She chuckled, leaning against him and looping her arms around his neck. "And that's why we go shopping, Q. To buy you jeans that fit and make you look like the hot straight man I know you are instead of the gay one of dubious attractiveness that Blaine is," she teased.

Quinn rolled his eyes. "You may dress me as you see fit," he smiled, "As long as I don't look like I came out of a Holister ad."

"I did say straight man, didn't I?" Her nose wrinkled at the thought of those ads. "I just think you'd look hotter with a little more bagginess in your jeans. Right now I can see every inch of your package and if I can, everyone can." She ran a finger down the middle of his chest, "I might be just a little jealous of that..."

"Truth, but my dick is just for you." He reminded her and kissed her and nipped her lip. "So yeah, I'm sure we'll need some stuff for the apartment anyway and we can get some new pants for me."

"Good," she leaned up and kissed him, pulling back with a smirk, "now that that's settled, let's get this damn bed put together so we have somewhere to sleep tonight instead of the floor." She glanced at him, "Unless you want to drive back to Lima again?"

"Hell no, woman." He smiled and grabbed the tool box and headed over to the bed. He started to put together the frame as Santana held it still. "Where do we want it? By the window?"

"That sounds good, but facing out. Yeah, putting it by the wall will give us more floor space, but do you really wanna have to crawl over each other to get in and out?" she shrugged, adjusting her grip on a long rail to keep it level.

"I like crawling on you." He smirked.

She laughed, "Yeah, I bet you do. But how about me crawling on you in the middle of the night cause I gotta use the bathroom? It just makes more sense to put it facing out so we can both have a side."

"This is true." He stated before starting to move the frame so it was in the right place. He worked on getting the footboard secured and settled. "Alright, babe can you help me with the box spring?"

"Who else would?" she smirked, nodding towards the sounds of banging and cursing coming from the other bedroom as Blaine and Sam tried to set their own room up. Heading over to where the box spring and mattress were leaned up against the wall, she wrestled the box spring away from the wall and slid it into the room near the bed. "I figure it'll be easier to carry it as little as possible," she pointed out when she saw the look on his face at her sliding it around.

"You're sexy when you move things." He smiled and came over to help her lay it down. He followed her and help maneuver the mattress onto the frame. "Look! We have a bed."

She flopped down onto it with a tired but happy sigh. "Our bed," she whispered, craning her head back to look at him with an upside down smirk. "What do you think of that?"

"I like this." he flopped down next to her and rested his head on her stomach. "I like it and it's all ours. We will have to break it in when I'm not so tired."

She laughed tiredly, reaching down to run her fingers through his hair. "Maybe when you're ready we can tell Homosplosion to get some earplugs and really break it in. What do you say?"

"Sounds awesome... though we might need to get some to for when they go at it." He made a grossed out face. "Sam's a screamer."

"Oh God/i, Q! Why'd you have to tell me that?" Santana's face screwed up in disgust. "Ugh, now I'm not gonna be able to get the thought of them having sex so close to us out of my head all night. I had better not dream about dudes banging. Seriously."

"I'll clear your mind if you do start to think about it." He smiled and kissed her stomach. "How do you wanna decorate the bedroom? I'm kinda gonna miss your lair at your house."

She chuckled, deliberately pushing back the thought of Blaine and Sam together. "I'm not sure yet since we can't really paint. Maybe hang a few posters. But we both gotta agree cause it's our bedroom, babe." She caught his hand and pulled it up to kiss it before playing with his fingers, "I'm not the only one living here like I was in my lair."

"I think maybe get a tapestry or something and put it up on the wall." He motioned to the large bare wall. "Maybe get a bookshelf for in here or something."

"Sure. I like that," she smiled at him, continuing to play with his fingers, more amused by the idea of living with him than really paying attention to what he was suggesting.

"I like that I'll get to wake up to you every day and will be able to make you breakfast in bed." He said as he rolled over so he could look at her.

"Tease," she whispered softly, glancing at him with a smirk, "I'll believe the breakfast in bed part when I see it, but you can wake up to me whenever you want. You can even wake me up if you want."

He smirked, "That sounds promising." He said as he traced her abs, "You do have a lot of sex dreams when you're asleep I've noticed."

"Hard to have sex dreams when you're awake, babe," she joked.

"This is true," he smiled, "but I have been woken up by your labored breathing and moans before."

"Whatever," she smirked, trying to deny the faint blush darkening her cheeks, "you like it when I'm all excited and shit around you." She reached down and cupped his chin, raising his face up to look at her, teasing him with a wink, "Gets you hard, doesn't it, baby?"

He gave her a sly smile and nodded before his hand moved up to rest on her breast. "Yes. It makes me very hard."

"Babe," she asked covering his hand with hers and leaning in to kiss him with a smirk, "you're not seriously thinking you're gonna fuck me on a naked mattress while Homoexplosion is just across the hall and our bedroom door is open, are you?"

"Nope," He said, "I'm just holding your boob." He explained before smirkng at her, "Because I can."

"Ah, I see," she whispered, drawing a finger along his jaw. "You know, you probably shouldn't do that without planning to follow through." She kissed him slowly, nipping at his lower lip before pulling away, "I just hate having to change my panties for no good reason..."

"You are pretty easy to get going," he agreed before rolling off the bed and heading over to the boxes. "Want to unpack then head to the store?"

"How about make the bed before heading to the store?" she counter-offered, hopping off the bed as well and opening the box closest to her. "Hey, I think this is your clothes, babe."

"Sweet." He said before kicking the bedding box into the bedroom. He pulled out the grey sheets and black bedspread. He worked with her to put the sheets on the bed and the pulled up the blankets. "And we have a bed." He grinned before going back to his clothing box and working on taking his stuff and putting it in his drawers of the dresser.

Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head with a smirk before heading into the kitchen to put everything away and give him time to pick his side of things. "Oh, hey, Q? Where do you want your spice rack? On the counter or in the cabinet?"

He looked up with a confused face. "Spice rack? Oh yeah... I guess cabinet." He called after her as he followed her out after a few minutes.

"This thing is kinda ridiculous," Santana grumbled, fumbling with jars and trying to get it all sorted. "What do you need all these different dried up plants for anyway? And god I hope none of Blane or Sam's friends are stoners. They might try to smoke this shit..."

"You can always eat take-out every night." Quinn pointed out as he leaned against the wall and watched her. "Or you can suck it up and let me cook and keep you and Sam from eating pizza and Diet Coke every night."

Santana about jumped out of her shoes when he suddenly spoke, "Holy...! Crap, Q!" She clutched at her chest, trying to calm her breathing down. "Don't sneak up on me like that, okay? Jesus Christ!" She laughed, "You nearly scared me half to death!"

"You shouldn't dis my spices." He teased, "It's gonna keep your ass fed."

"I wasn't dissing anything!" She pouted, shoving the jar in her hand into it's spot on the rack. "I just don't get what the purpose is. It's not insulting to not understand something you know."

"Well it just makes food taste better. Your lack of cooking skills astound me since your mom is a chef."

"My dad isn't, you know." She stuck her tongue out at him. "Besides, I just don't like it. It's not my thing. I don't want to slave away in a hot kitchen while people bitch about my food where I can't hear them."

"It's okay, I prefer to serve you anyway." He winked, "it's the least I can do."

Santana laughed, "Babe, by the time we've moved out of here, I have no doubt you'll service me quite well." She stepped over and leaned against him, reaching up to brush his lips with a finger, "Maybe even in here if you're lucky."

He grinned like a kid who just got told he could have ice cream before dinner. "Really!" He looked at her hopefully, "That would be awesome."

She nodded, "When we're ready and the boys aren't home or due to be home for a good while. I like your friends and all, babe, but I don't really want to give them a free demonstration of your technique."

"I agree with this." He kissed her softly before puling away and working on unloading another box.

She watched him for a moment with a little smile before moving to put more things on the shelf, wincing at another loud crash followed by what sounded like Sam cursing emanating from the other bedroom.

"Clumsy bastard," Quinn rolled his eyes and headed out to help his friend with his project.

Santana just rolled her eyes and chuckled as she set about putting the rest of the kitchen in order and moved to the living room before tackling her things in their bedroom.

* * *

><p>It was decidedly strange to be the one waiting outside a dressing room in a clothing store, but considering that it was for a good cause, Santana was willing to do it. She leaned against the wall across from the dressing room Quinn was in and filed her nails idly as she waited. Glancing them over she decided she'd probably need a new polish soon before she heard the tell-tale clack of the door unlocking and looked up.<p>

He came out and looked at her and shrugged. "I feel fat in these." He looked at her his body issues coming out as he looked at her.

"Babe, you look like a man," San whispered, taking him in.

The looser fitting jeans hung a bit lower on his hips, making his package less noticeable, but her eyes could still pick out the slight curve of his bulge. His boxers peeked slightly above the waistband, drawing attention to the firm lines of his abs under his tight fitting tank top. He was frowning as he inspected himself in the mirror, but in that moment, she forgot for a second that he'd ever been a girl.

"Quinn," she whispered, pushing off the wall and coming over to wrap her arms around his waist and breathe him in, needing to remind herself that he was still him. "You're amazing, you know that? Amazing..."

"I'm really not." He replied, linking their fingers together. "I have no idea what to do or how to do it."

"Neither do Blaine or Sam or any guys," Santana shrugged, peeking around his shoulder at him in the mirror. "Just be yourself. No more pretending to be a girl, baby. Just be my man, okay?"

"I'll try." He whispered, "I'm trying really hard... It was easier when we were at your house. You're parents just... like dealt with it and now we're out in the world and I'm scared that people will see right through me."

"Babe, look at me, okay?" She reached up and tilted his head down so he was looking at her. "You are my man, so there's nothing to see through. And anyone who tries any stupid shit will have to answer to not just me but Sam and Blaine too. Your family supports you, baby. Not the asshole one you were born into, but this one. Your real one."

"Thank you." He whispered, and kissed the side of her head. "I love you." He took a breath and fixed his t-shirt before looking at her. "I should grab a pair of khakis too."

"Sure," she smiled up at him. "Maybe a couple more of this style of jeans too? One darker and one lighter so you have some variety? Also, while you're trying on khakis, would you mind if I stole those off you for a bit?" She smirked, "I'd kinda like to see you in them for the rest of the day."

"You just wanna get my pants off," he teased then headed over to the rack and grabbing a few more pairs of pants to try on. "These all meet approval by fashion police?"

She looked them over. "Quinn, if Kurt would wear them," she grabbed a pair of skinny jeans he'd grabbed by accident off the top of his pile, "then you shouldn't. And when don't I wanna get your pants off?" she teased with a smirk.

"Yes, master," he teased and headed back into the changing room before throwing her the jeans over the door.

"That's mistress to you, mister," she joked, taking the jeans and heading over to the register to pay for them so he could change into them before they left.

* * *

><p>Quinn changed back into the jeans and wound his belt through the loops and fixed his burgundy polo to sit right on his body. He followed Santana out of the store, carrying his bags in his right hand and his left securely clasped with hers. His biceps peaked out under the sleeves of his shirt, daily trips to the gym with Blaine to learn how to box was helping his muscle mass become more defined. His body hair had started growing more now that he had three months of being on testosterone behind him. His body had been going through interesting changes and his voice had recently started to crack in mid sentence like boys in the seventh grade went through. But finally Quinn had begun to feel slightly more confident in himself.<p>

Santana squeezed his hand and glanced up at him with a little smile. "Afraid you'll lose me?" she teased softly, before bringing his hand up and kissing it. "Do you want to go get something to eat before we meet up with Blaine and Sam to head home?" she asked, nodding at the food court as they walked by it.

"Sure." He said, "I like food." He walked over to an empty table and put down their things. "What can I get you, beautiful?" he asked as he looked around at the various food stalls, "Chinese? Burger? Sushi?"

"How about a table?" She smiled up at him, "You're always feeding me, Q. I think I can handle getting you something to eat for once, don't you? Just tell me how hungry you are and for what and I'll handle it."

"I am hungry, but nothing too greasy. The fucking shots are making me break out." He pouted, "I have to use astringent like seven times a day."

"Yeah, but you look sexy as hell. How about pitas from the Greek place over there?" She pointed across the food court.

"Sure that sounds good." He said before kissing her, "You know what I like and we can share if you wanna get something and have some of mine too."

"Sounds like a plan, handsome." She caressed his chest as she kissed back. "Go find us a seat and I'll be right back, okay?"

"Alright." He took the bags of pants and headed over to a table in the corner and settled them down. He sat down and let his eyes fall on his girlfriend as she waited in line.

It wasn't too long before Santana noticed a young woman making her way across the court towards him. She looked young - probably still in high school she thought with a soft snort of amusement - and pretty enough. For a sixteen year old. She smirked watching the girl with little glances now and then as she got closer and closer to Quinn. She knew there was no way he'd go for her, but it still gave her a little thrill of worry watching.

The girl flipped her dark hair over her shoulder and smiled at Quinn as she walked up to him on her clunky platform heels. "Hi," she smirked, looking him over and not bothering to hide it.

Quinn looked up, "Oh hey?" He said politely, "Did I take your table?" He asked, looking around for any sign of her belongings.

"No, but I could join you," she smirked flirtatiously, twirling a bit of hair around one of her fingers. "I haven't seen you around here before. What's your name, handsome?"

"Uh..." He looked confused for a few moments, "Quinn. I just moved to the area..." he answered and tried to figure out why this girl was talking to him.

"Really?" she sat down at the table across from him, leaning towards him as if trying to encourage him to look down her shirt. "That's awesome. Where you from originally then? Cause you look like a Californian boy to me."

"Ohio." He said, "Look, you're in my girlfriend's seat so you might wanna move before she comes back."

"Girlfriend, huh?" She shrugged, clearly not impressed, "That's okay, we're not doing anything but talking, right? I mean, that's what hot girls and guys do. They," she reached out and ran a finger over the back of his hand where it was sitting on the table, "talk."

Quinn pulled his hand back, "Look, you need to bounce. I'm sure you're a nice girl but you are coming on hella strong and it's like really off putting. Makes me think you're selling yourself or something." He shook his head, "You're very pretty but you should know when to back off."

"Oh. I get it." she leaned back in her chair with a smirk, ignoring most of what he'd said and giving off a general vibe of never having been turned down before. "You're gay. Figures. Handsome put together guy like you? Has to be gay."

"Little girl, you need to grow up." He almost laughed, "My girlfriend's gonna not love you calling me gay." He said as he saw Santana walking over to the table, "Hey baby." He greeted Santana and took the tray.

"Hey, handsome," she smirked, leaning up to kiss him a bit more possessively than she might have if the girl hadn't been there. "Who's your friend?"

"Sorry, I think we jacked her table but she said she'd get a new one." Quinn said before pulling a chair our for Santana. "It was nice meeting you." He said before sitting down with Santana.

"Y-yeah," the girl mumbled, standing up and backing away with an unhappy look on her face.

Santana watched her go with a smirk before chuckling softly and unwrapping a gyro to share with him. "She was totally trying to play you wasn't she?" she shook her head. "So young, so dumb."

"She though I was gay because I wasn't interested." He shrugged and took his falafal and put it on the plastic tray with its paper. "Good choices by the way."

"I know my man," she shrugged, taking a bite of the sandwich. "And anyone calling you gay is just bitter cause you're out of their reach."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "But you're the only girl I need," he said before taking a bite of his food.

"Flatterer," she chuckled, eating. "I love you, you know. And I totally knew she was coming over to ambush you but I trusted you," she smiled at him. "Weirdly, it's almost easier as you get more... you. I don't have to wonder if you'll leave when you prove every day you don't want to. I like it."

"That's because you're my Santana," he smiled. "You are everything thing that's good in my world."

She laughed. "And everything aggravating, I'm sure. You don't have to try so hard, Q. You've already got exclusive rights to all this."

"I'm not trying hard." He said after he swallowed a bite. "I'm just that charming."

Santana shook her head as she ate a bit more, smirking at him. "So that's what it is. Charming. And here I thought you were just trying to get in my panties."

He laughed, "Like you're wearing any." He smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" She reached over and slapped his shoulder hard enough to sting. "We're in a mall, not at home, jerk. The only person who gets me without panties is you. Not the general public." She huffed, glaring across the way at a guy who was watching them until he turned away. "I can't believe you said that..."

"Santana... I've known you forever. You don't wear underwear in the summer. You say it's like it's strangling your lady parts." He reminded her, "Don't even pretend like I'm wrong." He whispered.

She turned to him and gripped his chin. "Whether it's wrong or right doesn't mean you should declare it in public," she hissed, feeling stung, "I'm not that kind of girl any more. I don't belong to everyone, just you. So cut that shit out, okay?"

He looked down. "Its not a big deal, San." He said softly, "It's not like I'm screaming it out, I was just stating a fact." He pulled back, "Sorry if I hurt you or whatever."

Her shoulders dropped. She hated when he pulled away, but it had stung to hear him talk about her like that in public. "Yeah," she whispered, "not a big deal. You were just stating a fact." She picked at her food for a little bit before sighing and pushing it away.

He groaned and just looked away. He hated when he was having a nice moment with her and then something he said fucked it up. He looked down and crossed his arms.

Eventually she sighed and reached over, putting a hand on his leg. "I'm sorry," she whispered, not entirely sure why she was apologizing, but more uncomfortable with him feeling bad.

"Why do you get offended every time I play? Whenever I say something slightly racy... You get mad." He looked up, "I know I'm bad at it and I suck at dirty talk and flirting but I'm just gonna stop now."

Santana swallowed and looked down with a shrug. "I don't know. I... this is a new town though, you know? I don't want my reputation from Lima following me here, Q. I don't want strangers overhearing you and looking at me while thinking she's not wearing panties and shit. I just... I want to be your girlfriend more than a hot chick. It's not that you suck at dirty talk and flirting and stuff, but... sometimes it's a little too much."

He rolled his eyes. "You're sensitive about strange stuff.." He mumbled, "fine I won't say anything like that again."

"I'm a girl," she reached over and took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly, "we get sensitive about stupid shit all the time. And it's not that you said it, baby," she brought his hand up to kiss it, watching him, "just that I don't want people overhearing." She smiled softly, "I like when you talk dirty to me. I'd just rather a more," her lips twitched turning her smile into a smirk as her voice dropped to a whisper so soft he had to lean in to hear it, "private venue so I can show you how much I like it. Okay?"

He nodded, "I don't like pissing you off." He sighed, "I don't know, San, I'm not good at this."

"You weren't good at cheerleading when you started either," she pointed out, "but you ended up one of the best. I wasn't pissed off anyway. Trust me, you'll know when I am. It just stung a little. I don't even know why since I'm not even wearing a dress or anything where someone could see if I was or not."

"Cause you're kinda crazy?" He smiled and ate a bit more. "Now we're at a mall and only I've been shopping, what can we get you?"

"You?" She smirked, nibbling at a pita chip. "I don't know. Why don't you surprise me? Or," she leaned and whispered in his ear, "maybe I should get some special panties for when you're ready for that again?"

"That'd be hot, though I prefer when you don't wear them." He said, "I like being able to get straight to the point."

"Mmm," she ran a finger over his bicep, "what if I get the kind you don't have to take off?" she quirked a brow at him with a little smirk.

He raised his eye brow and smirked. "To the sexy panty store!" he exclaimed and gathered up their trash.

She laughed, gathering their things and taking his arm as he came back to lead them down the hall to Victoria's Secret. "I thought that'd peak your interest," she teased.

"I'm easy to please." He smiled and held her closely, "You just like to get me all excited."

"Maybe," she murmured, leaning into him as they walked down the hall. "Maybe I'm just looking forward to when you're ready to really be with me again."

"Me too." He said softly, knowing that he still wasn't ready. "I'm sorry for making you wait... even though my hormones are fucking insane right now... I just... It's not right yet."

"I know," she shrugged, smiling up at him, "that's why I'm fine waiting." She tangled the fingers of their free hands together, drawing them over her shoulder so his arm was wrapped around her shoulders. "I'd rather wait with you than fuck anyone else."

"Thank you." he held her hand over her chest as they walked. "I like that no one is looking at us wierdly." He whispered, "Do you think I'm passing?"

"Babe, you just got hit on by the local high school version of me from three years ago.. Or maybe Brittany. She was coming on pretty strong." Santana smirked and raised a brow, "Do you think you're passing?"

He smiled and nodded, "Yes, I think the awkward chin hair is helping though." He said as he rubbed his left hand against his stubble. "Feels strange."

Santana wrinkled her nose. "I prefer you clean though," she admitted. "Scratchy is not nice against my skin, babe."

"I agree. I just kinda wanted to see how it felt... I'll shave it when we get home." he said as he walked into the store with Santana.

"Mmm, you're so getting kisses after," she smirked before turning to smile at the attendant who walked up to them.

"Why, hello there," the smiling young woman greeted them. "Welcome to Victoria's Secret. Looking for anything special today?"

He held her Santana close and smiled, "Whatever she's looking for. I'm just here to pay." he smiled at the woman and then waited for Santana to direct him where to go.

The woman grinned at Santana, "Where'd you find him and does he have a brother?"

"He'd been hiding right under my nose," Santana smirked up at him, "and sorry, but no. My Quinn's unique."

"Lucky," the woman laughed. "I'm Amy, by the way. Just let me know if you need any help."

Quinn leaned down and kissed Santana softly. "Thanks, Amy." he said before following Santana over to the side of the store. "What are you looking for, baby?"

Santana shrugged, flipping through a rack of panties. "Something you'd like me in," she mumbled, pulling out a pair of crotchless leopard print panties. "Like this, you think?"

"Kinda trashy." he said honestly, "I like those little boy shorts one you wear. They make your ass look amazing."

She grinned. "You do know how to make a girl feel sexy, babe." She put the leopard print thong back, moving to a rack of boy shorts. "Help me pick a pattern you'd like. Consider these and a tank top my go to lounge wear when the boys are around if you want."

He smiled and helped her select a pair of camo and a pair of purple ones. "I like these." he said as he showed her.

"You would," she teased, leaning up to kiss him. "Think I should get a new bra or two too? Specifically for your viewing pleasure."

"Yes, please." he grinned, "I would enjoy this very much."

Santana laughed, heading towards the bras. "How the hell did I ever think you were anything but a guy? Maybe when we get home I can model them for you?"

He followed her, "Because my acting is awesome. I mean shit I should have gone to school for that." he smirked and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"Mmm, maybe," she whispered, leaning back into his embrace for a moment before flipping through the rack to select a - matching in color to the panties he'd picked but sheer - purple bra. "What about this?"

"Love it," he said as he held onto her and looked over her shoulder. "It'll look amazing on you."

"How about when you take it off?" she husked softly, kissing him briefly before looking for another one.

"It will look even better on the carpet." He smiled and picked out a black one to match the other pair. "You look best without anything at all."

"You're a flatterer," she whispered, hugging him. "But you need to stop unless you plan on following through when we get home," she teased.

He nodded and stayed where he was, "I could always pay special attention to you... I'd really like that."

She looked up at him, uncertain. "Are you ready for that?" she whispered. "I don't want to do anything you're not ready for. I've told you..."

"Just because my body's not ready doesn't mean yours isn't." he shrugged, "How about we see what happens? I don't wanna overthink things."

"Okay," she nodded slowly, "but just because my body is ready doesn't mean I'm not happy waiting for you to be ready too, Q. It's better when we're both ready. You know?"

"I know." he smiled and kissed her temple, "Do you need anything else?" he asked softly looking around the room. "because we still need to go and get groceries."

"I'm sure if I do we can come back another time." She smirked up at him, "I just kinda want to get out of here now." She tugged on his shirt, "Maybe do a little breaking in of our bed after the grocery store, hmm?"

"Sounds good." he smiled and headed over to Amy at the register. He paid and took the bag with his own before taking her hand and heading back out to the car.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Santana yawned as she fumbled with her keys to open the door to their apartment, her shoulder complaining at her to drop her heavy as hell backpack already. It'd been a grueling day with more academics than she really wanted and cheer practice on top of it. She rolled her neck as she got the door open, pushing inside and dropping her backpack on the hall table while she got the front door closed and locked again.

It'd been a long day, but it wasn't the first time she'd been grateful for the insane level of skill and training Sue had demanded from her Cheerios. Without it, she knew she'd be hurting a lot more than the low level ache in her muscles and she might only have made the grey squad instead of the scarlet one. Stretching, she grabbed her backpack again to go drop it in her and Quinn's room, wanting nothing more than to curl up with her boyfriend and spend the evening enjoying the quiet while Blaine and Sam were off working.

When she opened the door to their room though, she stopped dead in her tracks. Her backpack slipped from her suddenly loose grasp to hit the floor with a thud. It was Quinn in their bed. She knew it was. But she couldn't get over the sight of him stroking the long, thick cock protruding from his groin, his lean, muscular body completely nude.

"Oh my God," she whispered, mesmerized by the sight of his hand gripping the smooth shaft that was just a couple shades darker than the pale fingers sliding along it and slicking lube along it. It looked for all intents and purposes like it was part of him.

His eyes flickered up, his hand still slowly moving on the attached part. "Hey," he husked, his voice noticeably lower than its ever been, "look what came today."

"I'm looking," she whispered, slowly coming over to the bed, having trouble taking her eyes off of his bobbing member as he stroked it. "God, it looks... Q, it looks real. Like it's really part of you..."

"Feels like it." He whimpered as his fingers teased the skin like material that covered the member. "San... I've been thinking about you. Look how hard you got me," he stated, motioning to the erect cock in his palm.

"I did this?" she murmured softly, sitting on the bed beside him and reaching over hesitantly to caress his member.

"You always make me hard, Santana," he whispered, his hand moving over to her thigh. "Can... Can you get undressed with me?" He bit his lip and asked her softly as he watched her tanned hand stroke his new dick. "Does.. does it feel real?" He asked, looking up at her his eyes half lidded with lust.

"Yeah," she whispered, watching her fingers glide over his member. "Get...? Quinn. Tell me what you want, baby." She looked up at him, waiting for him to tell her what they'd both been waiting months for.

"I wanna make love to you," he husked. "Please, let me show you how much I love you... How much I better I am now for you."

"You've always been good for me," Santana breathed, leaning in and kissing him, her fingers still toying with his shaft. "You're ready?" she smiled softly, hopefully. "Really ready? Not just wanting to play with me but us together, right?" Her hand left his dick to caress his cheek, "I really want it to be us together, Q..."

He leaned up and kissed her. "I love you," he whispered. "Please... Can we be together again?" he asked, almost pleading for her to let him love her. "I want to make love with you so bad."

"Yes," she almost laughed, smiling happily as she stood up to push the yoga pants she'd changed into after practice off her hips and stripped her sports bra top off. For the first time in the last thirty minutes, she was glad she'd decided her panties were too sweaty to put back on after her post-practice shower even though she'd forgotten to pack a fresh pair. "Baby," she husked, climbing back onto the bed and sliding a hand over his thigh, "can I ride you? I've always really, really wanted to ride you..."

"God, yes," he whispered, before flipping her over and laying her on her back. "First I wanna spend some time working you up though," he whispered, leaning down and kissing up her stomach to her neck. "Can I kiss you?"

She nearly laughed, smiling up at him and shaking her head. "When have I ever told you not to kiss me, babe? You can do whatever you want to me tonight. I just want you, Quinn. I want to be yours again."

"You're always mine," he whispered, kissing down her stomach again. "Just like I was always yours." He dipped his tongue in her belly button and waited for her hips to start squirming under his touch.

Her breath caught as she looked down her body at him. He looked different than the girl she'd remembered. Stronger. Bulkier in a few places. The hair that'd started building up on his arms and legs and dusting across his chest was sometimes startling, but it wasn't as wiry as she'd expected - maybe because his hair was naturally fairly light.

"Quinn," she breathed softly, reaching down to tangle her fingers in his shaggy hair as she spread her legs, knowing she was already starting to slick her thighs for him. "I love you..."

"I love you so much." He whispered, kissing down her thighs. "I love you for accepting me." he pressed tender kisses against her legs and knees before working his way up her other leg. "I love you for helping me become the man I've always wanted to be." He pressed a kiss on her mound. "I love you for always supporting me even when I've been sad or mean." He let his lips drop and his tongue swipe up her core. He moaned at her taste. At how she felt under his lips. "Fuck," he groaned into her pussy, "I missed that." He looked up at her before spreading her folds with his fingers and licking his way up. "I love that you waited for me..."

She let out a low moan at the feeling of his tongue swiping through her lower lips, arching her back in response. "Oh God, Quinn," she gasped. "Of course I waited. You're my fucking boyfriend." She panted for breath. "The _only_ one who gets to touch me now..."

He smiled as he continued to lap at her folds. "You taste so good," he whispered, his deeper voice muffled by her body. His tongue teased around her skin, nipping and sucking in places that he knew drove her crazy. He moved up to her clit and gently sucked it between his lips and ran his tongue against it.

"Unh," she moaned, her fists clenching in his hair as she bucked her hips towards him. "Quinn, _fuck_, so good, baby... so good..."

He continued licking and sucking before moving his lips down to her hole. He suckled gently at her essence flowing out of it before he slid his tongue inside. She keened softly through clenched teeth as she writhed under him, pulling him tight to her core as she tried to take him deeper, her walls already starting to flutter around his tongue.

He looked up and pulled his tongue away, "Want to come in my mouth or on my dick?"

"Both," she gasped, wrestling enough control to let her look down her heaving body at him. "I'm coming more than once tonight, baby. Wear me out."

He nodded and slid his muscle back inside her and reached a hand up to toy with her clit and her nipple with his other hand. He smiled as he felt her start riding his face in the hopes of getting him deeper inside her body.

"Quinn!" she gasped, rocking into him, her body trembled as she rapidly approached her climax.

He gave another twist then a roll of the tongue before he felt her walls clamp down around him. She quaked underneath him as her climax rolled over her like a freight train. Unable to get little more than a breathless mewl of sound out as her vision whited out and her head pressed hard into the pillows as her body arched into Quinn, she fought just to breathe as her orgasm locked her hands in his hair, her thighs clamping around his head.

"Quinn," she gasped when she could finally feel something _besides_ the overwhelming waves of pleasure from his hands and mouth. "Oh God, baby... oh god..."

He kissed up her body, his lips focusing on her breasts and neck as she came down. "I missed you."

"Missed you too," she panted, smiling up at him. "Do I get to feel you inside me?" she asked softly, tracing a hand down his chest and abs to stroke his cock, the knob inside the prosthetic rubbing against his testosterone enhanced clit to let him feel it. "Can our first time with you like this be with you on top, baby?"

"Please." He said softly, his cock moving to line up with her entrance.

She watched him as she wrapped her legs around his hips and carefully lined him up, biting her lip as she pushed just the tip of him inside her. "Bigger than before," she whispered, trying to pull him closer with her legs, her body stretching a little more than it had with his strap on. "Inside, baby, please..."

He moaned, the knob in his dick stimulating his clit as he pushed into her. "God," he panted and kissed her hard as he slid inside her.

She moaned at the feeling of him filling her after so long. Her hands slid around to grip his ass as her legs slid down to press into the bed and give her more leverage to press closer to him on the apex of each thrust and grind her clit against the base of his member. "God," she gasped, digging her nails into his ass, "this is better... no... no _harness_, just you..."

"So much better." He groaned and slid in fully. "Fuck, it feels so good."

She reached up with one hand to tangle her hand in his hair and pull him down into a hard kiss. Growling softly, she nipped at his lower lip. "Mine," she whispered, feeling her body ramping back up towards another climax, her nails digging into his ass and leaving scratches. "Fuck me, baby."

He started thrusting, his hips moving more fluidly then he did with the harness. "God... shit, San, I can feel your walls pulling me in."

"Want all of you," she moaned, pulling him close to her and rocking with him. Digging her heels into the bed and her nails into his body, leaving scratches in her wake, she pushed her body up to meet each thrust and take him as deeply as possible. "Fuck," she panted, "God, Quinn... fuck this is good... Oh _God_, I'm close, baby..."

"Me too," he grunted, wincing at the scratches. He thrust harder, his body shaking with effort.

"Come with me?" she begged, never having experienced that with him - mutual climaxes. "Please, baby..." She shifted her hips, changing the angle of penetration just enough that his cock hit her g-spot with every stroke, making her whimper and gasp as jolts of pleasure shot through her, making her struggle to hold her climax off and wait for him.

He nodded his breath laboured as he groaned and sped up. "Gonna..." he panted before he thrust and froze as the climax took over.

She lost control of her own climax a second before he came. Her hands tensed on him as her body spasmed around his member. She keened against his shoulder, pressing her face into his body as she curled into him from the force of her climax. When her body finally released her to gasp for breath, she relaxed back into the bed panting for breath.

"Fuck, Quinn," she shook her head as words came back to her, smiling almost dazedly, "t-this... this is better than before..."

"So better." He panted, his body shook as he tried to regain control.

She looked at him, running her hands up and down his back and just enjoying the chance to just _be_ with him like this, connected. She smiled, kissing the corner of his jaw gently and almost surprising herself when she realized she was thinking that this was how it was _supposed_ to be with them. "I love you," she whispered, her lips just brushing his earlobe. "And I'm gonna really love riding you when we catch our breath..."

He smiled. "Sounds awesome," he said as he pulled her in to a kiss.

She smirked, "I'm glad the boys are at work tonight. It's nice having the place to ourselves when you want to play." One of her fingers brushed over a scratch she left on his back and her eyes widened as she felt the welt, "Oh shit, did I scratch you? I'm sorry, baby."

"Its okay." He said softly, "It didn't hurt."

"Might the next time you're practicing with the swim team," she pointed out. "But I'll kiss it better and maybe file my nails down a bit more so they're not as sharp." She looked repentant as she kissed him softly. "How do you feel?"

"Normal." He smiled, "I feel good. I feel like I'm normal."

"Q," she laughed, "you're fucking _hung_ now. Trust me, you leave _normal_ guys in the dust." She leaned up and kissed him, "My sexy boyfriend. Totally the biggest I've _ever_ been with."

He beamed. "Really?" He smiled and looked her hopefully. "Bigger than Puck?"

"Definitely," she nodded. "By at least an inch. Bigger than Sam too." She rolled her hips, grinding where they were still attached with a low moan. "You're gonna ruin me for all other men, baby," she teased with a lustful smirk.

"Never gonna let anyone else have you."

"Good," Santana smirked up at him, leaning up to kiss him. "You're getting better at that possessiveness I like, baby." She nipped at the crook of his neck, "Feeling _up_ to letting me ride you?"

"That's the difference than other guys." He smirked, "I can always be hard."

"Mmm, that you can," she smirked, rolling them over so she was on top. Shifting until her knees rested on either side of his hips as he impaled her, she ran her hands down over his chest with a smirk. "Like the view, baby?" she asked, pulling her hair free of its tie and tossing it back, well aware of how the motion accented her chest and moved her against him.

"So sexy," he groaned, his hands coming up to rest on her hips.

Licking her lips as she watched him, she settled her hands on the firm planes of his chest and rose up, rolling her hips in a circle as she kept her eyes locked on his. His member slid almost all the way out of her as she moved, letting him see the thick shaft covered in her arousal before she slid back down onto it with a low moan and a wet sound. Repeating the motion slowly, she caught her lower lip between her teeth and smirked at him. "How's that?" she husked.

His breath caught as he watched her. "Fuck," he whimpered, his eyes falling closed as his hands settled tightly onto her hips. "Amazing," he breathed out as he struggled to open his eyes and watch her.

"Mmm," she moaned, writhing on top of him, sliding up and down his shaft, "God, you feel good, Quinn." She slid her hands down his chest and over his abs to slide up her own body and cup her breasts. Arching her back, she tried to watch him as she pinched and rolled her nipples as she rode him, but the sensation of him sliding in and out was almost too much and she could barely keep her eyes open.

His hands moved up to cover hers. "You're beautiful," He remarked, his hands taking over where hers dropped off. "So sexy," he moaned his hips rising to meet hers as they moved closer and closer to another climax.

Reaching up she pushed one of his hands down to where their bodies joined. "Touch me, Quinn," she panted, trying to encourage him to find her clit, "please... touch my clit while you fuck me, baby, please... God, I'm so _wet_ for you... just a little more. J-just need a little more..."

He nodded and his thumb and forefinger found her clit and pressed against it. He kept pumping his hips as he moved with her, needing to see her and _feel_ her come undone again.

"Oh God," she panted, moving on top of him faster, her hands dropping to his thighs to help hold her up above him, arching her breasts up. "God... god... _Quinn_," she gasped as her orgasm crashed into her, taking away her ability to yell and only just barely gasping out his name with a thready trace of breath as her walls clamped shut on his dick, rippling and trying to pull him in.

He moaned out, his hands grabbing onto her hips harshly as he jerked up and spasmed himself. The pulling of the adhesive as her muscles drew him in more mixed with the insert stimulating his body causing him to fall over the edge with her. She slumped down against him, panting for air, her body twinging with the aftershocks of her orgasm. She laughed softly when she could breathe again.

"Fuck, Q," she smirked tiredly, shifting her hips to feel his member still buried in her dripping core, "you almost made me squirt that time."

"Damn." He pouted, once he caught his breath. "Almost isn't good enough. If I could feel my lower regions, I'd demand a rematch."

She kissed him softly, reaching up to stroke her fingers through his sweaty hair, "How about a standing invite for another try? Now that we're doing this again, I don't want to go without again. Nearly seven months without sex is a _long_ time when you're used to amazing orgasms from your boyfriend, Q."

"I agree." He said softly, pulling the blankets up over him. "I'm sleepy, baby," he whispered, rolling them to the side, his member still inside her.

"Then sleep," she murmured, cuddling against his chest and wrapping a leg around his hip, the setting sun slowly darkening the room. "We can try again in the morning if you want."

"Okay." He whispered, his eyes falling shut as he cuddled close to his lover. "I love you so much." he whispered into her neck.

"Love you too," she breathed, already mostly asleep.

* * *

><p>When Judy walked out of the courtroom, it was like she was in a daze. The papers in her hand recording the judgement crinkled gently as she just tried to put one foot in front of the other. Frowning in concern at the shock on her face, John pushed off from his place leaning against the wall and hurried over to escort her out of the busy government building.<p>

The ride back to the house they'd started sharing a couple months earlier with Judy renting his spare bedroom was quick. He got her off the bike and into the house, sitting her down on the couch and going to fix some tea before trying to ask her anything. Coming back, he handed her the cup and sat down beside her.

"Are you okay, Judy?" he asked softly, big hand stroking gently up and down her back. "Did... did things not go well?"

"It... it went," She looked up at him. "I'm divorced." She couldn't figure out if she wanted to smile or cry at the simple fact she was done with Russel Fabray. "Johnathan... I'm free."

The smile on his face started small and grew wider. "Damn, Judy! That's the best news I've heard all damn year!" He threw an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. "Damn bastard doesn't deserve you, pretty girl. About time something good happened in your life."

"You happened in my life." She remaked looking up at him with a shy smile. "I thank God everyday for allowing someone like you in my life. For giving me a over a year of sobriety and maybe a future in which I can see my son."

"Damn straight," he nodded. "That asshole you were _once_ married to," he grinned, pleased about being able to refer to Russell in the past tense after all she'd told him over the last year of their being friends, "shows his face around here, I'll give him a taste of how _real_ Christian man behaves when it comes to the people he cares about."

"He'd kill you, John." Judy whispered, "He hated Quinn's friend Santana because she was Hispanic... he'd kill you for being around me."

"Racist on top of everything else?" He snorted and shook his head. "I'd like to see him try. Judy, I will not ever let him hurt you. Understand? I do not roll like that. Women are my equals, but it is also my honor as a man to defend them from harm."

"I hope he never finds me." she whispered as she looked at him. "I can't lose anything more, not when things just got okay again." She took a breath, "When I finally found out I was allowed to be happy."

He reached up and brushed a bit of hair back from her face with one knuckle and a lopsided smile. "You've always been allowed to be happy, Judy. You just needed some help to realize it. I'm glad I could be part of that."

"You helped me save my own life, just by being amazing," she said softly, her face nuzzling into his hand on pure instinct. "You treated me with kindness and friendship."

"It's nothing but what you deserved." His voice was soft as he cupped her cheek, idly brushing his thumb over her cheek. "You deserve the best of everything, Judy."

"So do you." She said, looking up into his soulful eyes. "You have been so amazing to me."

"You deserve it," he whispered, offering a sweet smile as he leaned closer almost completely unconsciously. "You deserve friendship, honestly, support... love... all of it."

"Such a beautiful man," she whispered, her head turning to him. "I didn't know men like you existed. That you could ever want to know someone like me."

He smirked. "I'll inform the others we need to work harder on our advertising at the next meeting," he breathed, his eyes falling closed as he closed the last small gap separating them and kissed her softly.

For a moment he just got lost in the simple sensation of finally kissing the woman he'd wanted to for the past several months. It was sweet, gentle and all but undemanding, his hand on her cheek a gentle guide more than a demanding leash as it had been with Russell. Then he realized what he was doing and jerked back.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Judy," he rushed to apologize, his face lined with worry. "I'm so sorry. You _just_ got divorced, you don't need that from me. I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again..."

Judy kept her eyes closed for a moment as she let the feeling of being kissed wash over her. "No one's kissed me in years," she said softly, before leaning up and seeking out his lips once more.

"That's absurd," he whispered, unconsciously reaching for her cheek again as she moved towards him, "you're far too beautiful for that..."

"Not the way I wanted them too." She whispered, "Please kiss me like that again..."

"Are you sure?" His eyes searched her face as his hand cupped her cheek once more. "I don't want to make you feel like you have to do anything, Judy. I promise, you'll still be my friend and have a home here if you don't want to."

She looked at him and smiled softly before leaning up and kissing him. "I want to kiss you." She said sounding more sure of herself then before. "I've wanted to for a long while."

He offered her a lopsided smile, shaking his head in amusement. "Beautiful, you can kiss me whenever you'd like. I'd never turn you down."

Leaning in, he kissed her again, lips soft and caressing against hers. Daring greatly, he let his tongue slip out to tease gently over her lower lip. Not demanding like Russell and forcing himself on her, but sweetly asking permission. She smiled shyly and let him progress the kiss, her hand reaching for his to tangle their fingers together.

He kissed without demanding anything more than the simple affection, his thumb gently stroking over her cheekbone. He led the kiss like they were partners in a dance instead of forcing things like someone conquering an uncharted territory. When he pulled away, his eyes blinked slowly open as he smiled at her.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that with you," he whispered, smiling shyly.

She smiled at the simple compliment. "Thank you," she whispered before leaning up and kissing him again.

He let her control the kiss for a moment, just enjoying the simple closeness of being with a beautiful woman until he felt certain parts of him stirring. Leaning back, he caressed her cheek with a sheepish smile. "Much as I'm loving kissing you, Judy, certain parts of me are enjoying it a bit too much, if you know what I mean." His smile looked disappointed as he whispered, "If we don't stop, it'll get a bit embarrassing for me..."

"I don't want to stop," she said. "I've never been with anyone I've wanted to be with. Someone I thought I could love and would love me back."

"Judy," he breathed softly, "you just got divorced. You don't have to do anything with me. You're my best friend and I'd never push you. I promise."

"You're not pushing me," she smiled. "I want this. I'm asking for it."

"Judy, I don't," he trailed off biting his lip in embarrassment, "I don't have certain supplies on hand to... well..." Once again he found himself grateful his skin was dark enough to hide his natural tendency to blush, "I'm probably assuming too much. It, well," he gestured weakly at his lap, trying futilely to shift his hips enough to hide the growing tent in his pants, not sure what to say.

"I've only been with him," she whispered, reaching out hesitantly to rest a hand on the bulge in his pants. "Please, let me feel how it should be," she asked softly. "I can't have more kids anyway."

"Only if you're sure," he watched her intently, searching for any signs that she was doing this out of a strange sense of obligation or duty. "I promise you, Judy, I'll never touch you unless you want it. Not ever."

She nodded and slid a bit closer to him, her actions making her nervous despite the fact she wanted to be with him. "Please, Johnathan."

"Not here," he whispered, pulling her into his arms and standing with her cradled against his chest. "You deserve far better than my couch for something like this. You're a beautiful, grown woman, Judy. Not a teenager."

She nodded and let him carry her as they headed towards his bedroom. She had never really been in it much despite living with him. She had only been inside it for the first time a few months before when he was sick and she'd tended to him.

"I'm going to do my best to show you how you deserve to be treated, Judy," he murmured as he laid her down on the bed, flicking off all but the dim light on his nightstand off.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, they laid in a sweaty tangle on his bed, the sheets in a pile at the end of the bed. Judy curled into his side, marveling at how very pale her hand looked spread on his broad chest. She smiled, feeling pleasantly sated instead of scared and dirty for the first time ever after sex.<p>

"How are you feeling?" he whispered softly after a few moments of watching her play with his chest.

"Happy." She smiled, "I feel really good." She rolled slightly so she could rest her head against his skin and look up at him. "I didn't know it could feel that good."

He smirked, tired but pleased with himself. "Glad I could give you a good showing. At my age, it's a wonder to get one out sometimes, let alone two. You're something of a sexual goddess aren't you, beautiful," he teased, hugging her.

She blushed, "I just haven't... Had one let alone two of those in a long time." She hid her face against his chest trying to hide her blush.

He slipped his fingers under her chin to lift her head up, "You deserve them all of the time." He smiled at her shyly, "Now that we've done things entirely backwards, do you think you'd give another thought to dating me now? We're both divorced, single, _very_ compatible in bed... I'd like to be able to call you my girlfriend and lover than for this to be a one time thing, Judy." He kissed her softly, "Only if you want to though."

"I'd like that." She said softly. "I'd like that a lot." She smiled and kissed him once more. "Does this mean I get to sleep in here with you sometimes?"

"Whenever you want," he grinned at her, happy she'd agreed. "I'll even let you help decorate this old house if you want. Now... I have an important question to ask."

She looked at him nervously. "Yes?" she asked softly.

He smirked at her, "Do you think I could take you out on a _real_ date like you deserve? I was thinking maybe breakfast at the diner? My treat of course."

"You silly man!" She exclaimed, sitting up and lightly smacking his shoulder. "Please don't make me nervous like that again! Of course I'll have breakfast with you."

"Ow, hey!" He laughed, wincing away from the slap more than he needed to from the sting, "It _was_ important! I needed to finally get a yes to one my requests for a date!"

She laughed softly and smiled. "Yes," she whispered, "I would like breakfast since we disregarded dinner last night."

"Hey, for more nights like last night," he wiggled his brows in a parody of lechery, "I'd cheerfully starve."

"I doubt ether of us will starve." She smiled, "but I do think we should get ready because you do complain that I'm too skinny most days."

"Are you sure we should go out for breakfast?" Reaching down to palm her ass and squeeze, he smirked lustfully, "Beautiful, skinny or not, I could stand looking at your body like it is right now forever."

She blushed again. "I have scars and look too thin still."

"You're beautiful," he insisted, kissing her softly, "and don't worry, we'll plump you up with plenty of good cooking and gentle treatment. I know how to treat my girlfriend right, Judy."

She kissed him back and smiled, "I'm going to get cleaned up," she whispered and rolled off the bed with a smile and headed to her bathroom.

He watched her go with a smirk, appreciating the movement of her body as she walked out of his room. Standing, he appreciated the soreness in his muscles from their lovemaking in an entirely different way, groaning with a pleased smirk as he stretched. "John, old boy, you're getting old, but you've certainly found a beautiful woman to spend that old age with. Now you've just got to figure out a way to make her pretty young self decide your old ass is worth staying with."

Yawning and pulling on a robe, he headed out to the kitchen to start coffee before going to see about his own shower and clothes for the day.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Ohio State University. A miserable excuse for a college. He sneered as he turned the corner, reaching up to adjust the hood of his jacket. _His_ daughter would have been better off and _happy_ to attend a fine institution such as Cedarville instead of a irreligious cesspit such as this.

He knew the creature that had stolen her soul was here though.

As he turned the corner, he caught sight of familiar dark blond hair - of course the creature had sullied his daughter's blonde purity by letting those hideous dark roots show - and his eyes narrowed. He stepped back around the corner before it could see him. It wasn't time to take his revenge for his daughter's lost soul yet.

Quinn laughed as he walked with Blaine, his messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He was coming back from his Introduction to Psychology and the pair had planned to meet up with their respective lovers in the quad.

"That professor is redic..." He shook his head and laughed, "I can't even comprehend half of what he says."

Blaine smirked and rolled his eyes. "Well, maybe if you'd spend the last fifteen minutes of class listening instead of trying to figure out how to get your girlfriend alone," he teased. "At we got the same class. How lucky is that?"

Neither of the boys noticed the glowering man in the grey hooded sweatshirt moving through the crowd behind them. Russell loathed the creature his daughter had become and he vowed, yet again, to remove her sin from the word. He sneered at the back of Blaine's head, stepping into a doorway when the smaller boy turned back to see who was staring at him before shrugging it off. That sinner would be cleansed too, he promised himself.

"Whatever, dude." He smirked and sat down on a bench. "She's sexy." He shoved his text book into his bag. "How's the music major thing going? I don't see you much these days."

Blaine stretched and dropped down onto the bench beside Quinn with a shrug. "It's going. Not like I have a lot of classes that apply to my major yet. Being a freshman kinda sucks. But," he smirked at Quinn, "at least I got my friends, my health and my good looks, right?" He laughed, feeling looser than he had been able to be in high school.

"Totally," He replied, "at least we have an apartment and don't have to share a bathroom with a whole floor." He stated, "I mean between Sam and Santana it feels like it... who knew living with them would be so very messy." Quinn scrunched his face up and looked around. He noticed a lurking figure and shrugged it off as a random upperclassman.

He laughed, "Well, I would have assumed you'd have a pretty good idea since you _have_ been living with Santana for a while now. You two are pretty serious about each other, huh?"

"Yeah... a few months ago her dad gave me an intentions talk." He sighed, "I don't know though... I'm in it. I mean, I love her... but half of me is nervous that she'll find a woman that she likes and leave me." He sighed again. "But I love her."

"Have you tried talking to her?" He shifted on the bench, putting an arm along the back and turning to face Quinn more, "I mean, women kind of love that, Q. Me and Sam... I love him, but we're not tying each other down yet. If we're still together at the end of school, great. But we've talked and we decided that we'd rather split up and see other people for a while if it comes to it rather than screw up our friendship. But we had to talk to figure that out."

"I mean... we've talked," he said. "That's why we broke up a few months back. I just get worried that she's gonna leave." He smiled, "but hey, it's all good right? I just have a bad abandonment issue..."

"Q, I love you better than just about anyone outside of Sam, my mom and my brother, but you're kind of crazy sometimes." Blaine shook his head. "You and Santana didn't break up so much as have a nasty fight and not talk for a few days."

"Yeah, yeah. I don't want to talk about that."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed, leaning back to rest his head on the back of the bench. "For what it's worth, I don't think she'll leave you. I mean, come on, she's pretty hung up on you and you _are_ kind of a stud."

"You know it." He said looking over at the lurking figure.

"What are you staring at anyway?" Blaine asked, turning to look over his shoulder.

Behind the tree a bit away from them, Russell glared at Quinn for a moment before turning away to head back to his car for the long drive to Maryland. It wasn't yet time to deal with the creature and its foul associates. He didn't realize that the sun was angled just right to partially illuminate his face as he moved from under the tree back towards the sidewalk. He glanced back for just a moment, cold dead eyes staring at Quinn hatefully before he vanished into the crowd.

"Um..." His breath was caught, "I think... I saw something."

"What?" he scooted around on the seat to look behind him, frowning slightly. "Huh. I don't see anything now. What was it?"

"My father." He said softly, looking down to his hands, "I've seen him around... never this close." He swallowed, looking away.

"Seriously?" Blaine sat up straighter, looking around and trying to see the man he'd only seen in pictures. "I thought he left town. You think we should call the cops?"

"No help." He sighed, "My sister is married to the police chief in Lima... He's a friend of my father's." He wrung his hands worriedly, "I think he's trying to scare me."

"Crap," he muttered, reaching over to still his hands. "Cut that out, okay? You're safe. You're one hell of a lot stronger than you were the last time he got ahold of you and he'll have to go through Sam and me first, you know that."

"I'm worried he will try to hurt you all... and Santana to get to me." Quinn sighed, "He sold one daughter off and tried to kill me. He's insane and the police can't help me."

"Well, he's not chasing us off," Blaine looked determined. "He tries anything, _he's_ the one who's going to get hurt. Hell, Santana threatened to cut one of Karofsky's nuts off because he was threatening me and Kurt. Imagine what she'd do to Russell if she had Sam and I to pin him down."

"She's kinda crazy and I love it." He smiled, "Alright, we just gotta watch our backs."

"Exactly. And speaking of some lovely backs to watch," Blaine smirked, nodding towards another duo of blonde and brunette crossing the quad towards them. "You want to tell them what you saw or not?"

"No, I don't want to scare San," he said as he stood up to pulled his girlfriend into his arms. "Hi, baby, how was chemistry?"

"About as fun as high school chem," she shrugged, leaning up to kiss him. "We still aren't allowed to blow things up."

"I think the professor would probably like to keep his hair," Sam pointed out with a smirk, only to have Santana look back over her shoulder and stick her tongue out.

Quinn kissed the girl's shoulder. "Please don't get expelled." He smiled, "You need to not get kicked out for burning down the school."

"I don't want to burn the school down just," she pressed her lips together in a smirk and shrugged, "liven things up a little. Speaking of livening things up, are we all still on for that party tonight? I don't know about you, but I's be wanting to get my dance on."

"Sounds cool." Quinn shrugged, "I could use some cheap beer and seeing you be all sexy and crap."

"Oh like you won't dance with me?" Santana teased, dragging a finger down his chest and looking up at him in an attempt at coyness.

Blaine laughed, "Looks like you're dancing tonight, Q."

"Whip-pssh!" Sam grinned making a little cracking motion with his free hand as he wrapped an arm around Blaine's waist.

"Whatever, White Chocolate," Quinn laughed, wrapping his arms around Santana and headed on the ten minute walk back to their apartment. "You're gonna be stripping the minute you get two light beers in you."

Sam frowned. "And that's a problem because...?" He smirked. "You remember what this body looks like, right?" He pulled up his shirt with his free hand, showing off his tight abs, "I'll have people _begging_ me to take it off."

"Stop that!" Blaine exclaimed, slapping his boyfriends hand down. "You're gonna get arrested for indecent exposure."

Quinn laughed and smiled as Santana cuddled into him.

"The only thing indecent is how tight these abs are, babe. OW!" he slapped a hand against his abs with a smirk. "And beside, you like it when I take it all off." He waggled his brows.

"Ew. Okay? Just ew. Too much sausage in that scenario." Santana screwed her face up in a look of disgust, waving them off, "That was almost as bad as turning the corner at McKinley to see the Jolly Green Giant and Hobbit trying to devour each other's tongues like zombies at a competitive eating match."

Quinn laughed hard, "God, that's not a mental image I ever wanted!" He swiped the key fob then pushed the door open. "When's this party?"

"For you it's just a mental image, for me," she grimace and shook her head, "it's _reality_. Was totally sick. And I mean that in the gross way, not X games." She shrugged, "Seven, though it probably won't get really started until eight. Thank God for Fridays, right?"

"For sure." He smiled and moved into the living room and threw down his bag before flopping on one of the couches.

Ignoring the boys as they piled in behind them, San tossed herself down on the sofa beside Quinn. "I'm looking forward to tomorrow, myself." She smirked up at him, biting her lip before placing a kiss on his thigh inches from his crotch, "The boys being gone all day and no cheerleading or swim practice for us..."

"Naked day." He beamed. "I like naked day," he assured her. "We should go to bed naked and skip the hassle of undressing in the morning."

"After the party?" she questioned with a sly smirk, tracing little patterns on his thigh, "I like that idea, baby. Maybe," she licked her lips, quirking a brow curiously, "even start a little... early?"

"San..." He whispered, watching Sam and Blaine slip into their room. "You're getting me hard."

"Am I really?" she teased, pressing a kiss to the top of his thigh before rolling over to rest her head on his lap and smirk up at him deviously. "Can't have that now. It's too early."

"Cock tease," he smirked, running his fingers through her hair.

She snorted softly, "Tease implies that I'm not going to satisfy later on. Which totally isn't the case. I just wants to get my dance on first and if I get my hands on your dick now, I'm not leaving this apartment until Sunday. Got it?"

"Oh gross," Blaine rolled his eyes, flopping down in the chair as Sam dropped to sit on the floor, leaning back against his legs. "I get you're het, Q, though what a _loss_, but do you have to rub it in our faces all the time?" He teased with a smirk.

Quinn just rolled his eyes at the boys and kept running his fingers through Santana's hair. "Whatever. I had to deal with the two of you for months before anyone else knew."

"Whatever, man," Sam smirked, "you know you liked it. And it's not like we could exactly be all out and proud with Kurt around doing his best Blair Witch impression."

Santana frowned, sitting up slightly, "Wait, I thought the Blair Witch never showed up in those movies."

Sam laughed, "Exactly. It goes around being all creepy and screwing with you cause it's too chicken to go toe to toe."

"Sam, don't be like that. Kurt," Blaine shrugged, "wasn't that bad..."

"Yes, he was." Quinn sighed, "You still have fuzzy homo-feelings because he took your virginity, but he went crazy. Sam couldn't be your boyfriend because of him and your unwillingness to hurt his feelings."

"I took his too," he pointed out. "I don't know. We were just... bad for each other." He sighed, fingers lightly drifting over Sam's shoulders, "I kept trying to be this gay mentor or something while he pranced about like illegitimate love child of Liberace and Elton John. Between telling me bisexuals don't exist and then not even standing up for Santana when Finn outted her?" He winced and looked at Santana with a pained expression. "Sorry about that, by the way. I should have said something."

Santana shrugged, "Whatever. I'm over it."

"Still not cool," Sam grimaced, reaching over to squeeze her ankle, "I totally would have knocked him on his ass if I'd been there, you know."

"Yeah, I know you got my back, Trouty Mouth," she smirked.

"I'm sorry, San." Quinn sighed, "I should have done more to protect you... I should have been better for you." He looked down and sighed, "I should have stood up for you."

"Babe, we covered this," Santana looked up at him, reaching up to tangle her fingers in his hair, lightly scratching the back of his neck, "you were in a seriously shitting position and couldn't really do anything. I get it, okay? It's in the past."

He nodded and cuddled into her, "But can we agree that the Hummels and Hudsons are idiots? That they're both emotionally abusive and hate their partners?" he asked, remembering the years he spent with Finn pretending to be the oversized boy's prized girlfriend.

"Depends," Santana smirked up at him with a wicked glint in her eye, "can you finally admit you totally had a crush on the Hobbit? I mean, come on, Fabray, bathroom porn and drawing hearts all over pictures of her in your notebooks? Don't think I didn't see that shit."

He chuckled, "Hey... Maybe I kept thinking her legs were yours." Quinn said, "I like my ladies tan with sexy legs."

"Boy, you'd be dead right now if you'd tried half of the stuff you did to her on me," Santana raised a brow, daring him to argue with her teasing tone. "I'd have buried your ass before you got a second slushie scheduled."

"Whip-pssh!" Sam whispered, cracking his wrist at Quinn with a grin.

"Yeah, but I could have licked it off." He smirked and looked down at her. "And you!" He looked to Sam, "Like you're not dick whipped by Blaine. You do his laundry!"

"Yeah, but I _like_ being dick-whipped," Sam grinned cheekily. "And you remember what happened when I let him do laundry last. It took a week to get everything sorted back out and _you_ still have pink clothes that should be white because of it, remember?"

"Hey," Blaine chided, vaguely trying to defend himself. "I can wash my clothes..."

"Um, no," Santana pointed out, "no, you really can't, Blaine."

Quinn laughed, "You and Blaine just get to look pretty while the men take care of you." He teased, jumping out of the way when Santana slapped his thigh. "Ow, baby! That hurts!"

"I'll give you hurts," Santana growled. "Who do you think does _your_ laundry, hmm? Or did you think your clothing just _magically_ appears in your drawers folded and clean? And Blaine and I do most of the general cleaning in this place so there."

"I know, baby." he smiled, "I love you and you help me so much." he stroked her cheek, "I like making sure you all get good food to keep you strong."

"You're a little shit sometimes," Santana pointed out with a smirk, "but I love you." She leaned up, pulling him down to kiss her.

"Mmhmm," he smiled, tugging her up to let him stretch out on the sofa with her lying on his chest. "Do you guys want dinner before we party tonight?"

"Sure, sounds good to me," Blaine shrugged. "You know I'd never turn down your cooking, Q."

"I have pizza dough." He thought, "Pizza for dinner then we can all head off?"

"Pizza, yes!" Sam cheered, pumping his fist.

"Sounds good, babe." Santana smiled, kissing his shoulder.

"Alright." He said, "I'll do that later." He let a yawn slip out and his arms wrap around San. "Nap?"

"Definitely," she chuckled softly, getting comfortable on top of him. "Got to be rested for tonight."

"Mmhm." He mumbled, "Shut up and sleep." He directed, letting his eyes fall closed.

"Bossy," she chuckled, snuggling into him with a yawn and drifting off to the soft sounds of Blaine and Sam heading to their room.

* * *

><p>His hands trembled on the steering wheel as he drove.<p>

He didn't like it. Coming down that is. Hated it, in fact. He needed the boost. Needed to keep up. To keep ahead.

He looked at the rearview. The car had been following him since he crossed the border from West Virgina into Maryland. He rung his hands on the wheel, swallowing harshly. They weren't cops. He knew they weren't. But they were watching him. They were always watching.

Turning onto the gravel road he'd been given directions to when he'd called the number he'd found, the car shimmied on the loose material, sending up short rooster tails of rock that pinged and clanked off the underside of his car when he gunned it to pop himself on the road, the suspension jolting as he bounced down from the pavement. The car went by and he breathed a sigh of relief, but his eyes kept jerking back to the rearview mirror.

He was sweating by the time he pulled up in front of the beat up old house. It'd been too long. He needed more. His hands slipped on the door handle as he tried to open it and he had to scrub his palms off on his sweater before he could shoulder the door open and get out. He looked up at the house and swallowed, nervously patting the roll of bills in his pocket and hoping it would be enough.

Making his way up the battered porch stairs, he knocked on door set in the peeling white frame the way he'd been told. Letting it echo into the house, he stepped back and tried to concentrate on breathing and looking as cool and collected as possible. It wasn't easy.

The door swung open, a man stood there holding a shotgun. "Who the fuck are you?" He spat, the gun starring the older man down.

"I," he blinked wide eyed at the gun, "I'm Russell. I called earlier. Spoke with Tommy. He said I could get some ice here." He noticed his hands shaking as he reached up to wipe some sweat off his forehead and shoved them in his pockets. "I've got cash."

"How do I know you're not a fucking pig?" He asked, poking the man with the gun barrel.

Russell swallowed hard, his eyes going white around the edges as he looked down at the barrel pressing against his chest. "Please," he hated begging, "I need it. Search me if you want. But I _need_ some..."

"Fine." He grunted, "Get your honky ass inside the house and get yo' money out." He said as he headed into the dingy house. "Tommy! You fucking have another God damn crack head here!"

"Meth, Vince, _meth_ head. Not crack." A slim young man slipped out from behind a curtain with a smirk at Russell's trembling form as the older man followed him in. "Crack's got too high of an overhead. You've got to be Russell, right?" He snorted softly, looking him over, "Damn, you weren't kidding when you said you needed some ice."

"Please," Russell fumbled a roll of twenties out of his pocket, "I have things I have to do. Before they catch me. Please."

"Fucker, if you get me and my bro arrested..." The other guy mumbled as he plopped down on the sofa.

Tommy rolled his eyes and pulled out a baggie. "How much you want?"

"How much can I get? There's two hundred here. I have a lot to do. My wife," his eyes narrowed as he remembered Judy laughing at something the big black man she was with the last time he saw her, "_betrayed_ me and needs to be punished before I can destroy the abomination that was my child."

"Fucker, I don't wanna hear your life story." Tommy said as he snatched the money and handing him the baggie. "Get out of my house. I don't wanna know what the fuck you plan on doing."

"You will though," Russell smiled at the bag, licking his lips as he turned to go. "You will."


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

If John hadn't insisted, Judy might have put off going to the doctor forever. She'd never much enjoyed being poked and prodded and she was fairly certain it was just a common stomach bug making her nauseous so much. She was likely just going to be prescribed bed rest and fluids, but he had looked so sweetly anxious that she couldn't help but agree to go in.

Now she found herself sitting almost anxiously herself in the exam room waiting for the doctor to come back with the results of the various basic tests he'd sent over to the hospital's lab after finding out she hadn't even had a standard physical in years. When she heard the knock on the door, she'd looked up, only to breathe a sigh of relief when she saw her boyfriend peeking his head in to check on her.

"Everything okay, beautiful?" he smiled, but couldn't really help but show the endearing worry he felt about her feeling sick for the last couple days.

"Just waiting for the results." She sighed, "Still queezy."

"That happens," he murmured, coming in to slide an arm around her shoulders and give her a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm glad you came in, babe. I was worried about you and now they can get you some meds to make you feel better."

"It's just a silly stomach virus." She smiled reassuringly. "Nothing important or serious."

"Still," he smiled at her, leaning in to kiss her softly, "I don't like to see you sick, so thank you for calming an old man's worries." He smiled lopsidedly at her, reaching up to brush a thumb over her chin, "I love you, sweetheart." It was still new to be able to actually say that out loud to her, but he wasn't sure he'd ever get tired of it.

"I love you too." She smiled as she fixed her shirt after getting dressed out of the gown. "I've gained three pounds." She remarked, "See what all your insisting did?" She teased, only to be interrupted by the doctor. "Is everything okay, doctor?"

"It's good for you," John teased, wrapping a protective arm around her waist befoer turning his attention to the smiling man. "Hi, Pete. Thanks for taking care of my girlfriend on short notice."

"Not at all, John. Don't worry about it." The doctor pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he tucked his clipboard under his arm, "Now, Judy, I have some big news for you, so legally I'll have to ask John to leave unless you'd like him to be here?"

"It's okay." She said nervously. "Am I okay?"

"You're absolutely fine," Pete smiled at her. "But you might want to start thinking about names."

"Pete, what the hell are you talking about?" John looked confused as he stared at his old wrestling teammate.

"Well... Judy, according to these levels, you're a bit more than two months pregnant." He smiled, clapping his hand on his friend's back.

"No, I'm not. I can't get pregnant...it's been years and I can't."

John swallowed, "T-two months?" His jaw dropped, "Oh no... I didn't. Oh God, Judy, I'm so sorry," his jaw tightened as he bowed his head, "I should have used protection. I just... after I couldn't have any kids with my ex-wife I thought I just couldn't have kids. I never thought I'd," he shook his head, "I'm sorry, sweetheart..."

"I'm... I'm 36..." She looked at the doctor, "I... I shouldn't be able to have kids. My former husband tried for 18 years..." She looked pale and small. "I don't want to loose this baby," she whimpered, putting her hand on her stomach scared that she was going to have a miscarriage because of her age.

"Judy, women even older than you are having healthy children these days," Pete reassured her, reaching out to pat her knee. "We'll take a bit more care, just in case, but you are healthy and in excellent condition. I'm sure you'll be fine and have a lovely little baby in another six and a half months."

"You want the baby?" John sounded unsure but hesitantly hopeful as he took one of her hands in his. "You want this, Judy? What," he swallowed, hating the idea of the alternatives, but needing to support his girlfriend more than his own desires, "whatever you want to do, sweetheart, I'll support you, okay?"

"I get... I get a baby," she said shyly. "I always wanted another one... I didn't think I could..." She swallowed, "Do... You want to stay with me? We can be parents."

John laughed with relief, bringing her hands up to his lips and kissing them, completely unaware of Pete slipping out to give them a moment. "Do I? God, woman! Do you know how much I've dreamed of being able to be a _dad_? I thought I'd never get the chance after Carly and I never had any luck. Judy," he licked his lips, dropping to his knee beside the table and reaching up to hold her hands, "baby, if you'd let me, I'd marry you. I'd give you my name and I would protect you always."

"It's too soon." She whispered, "I... this is all too much to process right now." she looked at him, "Please don't leave me."

"I'm not going to leave you. Not unless you tell me to go," he stayed on his knees, kissing her hands. "And... I wouldn't want us to actually get married until I can meet your son." He looked up at her, letting her see the hope and love in his face, "I want him to give us his blessing. I want his approval first. I just... I would really like to consider it a possibility in the future. I'm not asking because of the baby, Judy. I'm asking because I love you. But if you don't want to," he licked his lips, sighing softly, "I'll understand and I'll still be here. I won't abandon you or the baby. I promise."

"I want to be with you," she whispered. "Our baby needs it's dad." She put his hand on her stomach. "I need you to stay with me. God gave us this baby."

"I'm not going anywhere," he smiled as he shook his head. "God... Judy, I'm," he took a deep breath, trying to center himself but so happy he couldn't help the ridiculous grin on his face, "I'm going to be a _dad_. I never thought I," he trailed off shaking his head again and rising to his feet to cup her cheeks in his hands and kiss her so tenderly and sweetly that she thought she'd cry. "I love you so much, Judy. Thank you for wanting me."

"I love you," She leaned into him and hugged him tightly, "You'll be a great dad."

"God, I hope so." He laughed nervously, wrapping his arms around her and pulling him close. "I'm not sure if I should be thrilled or terrified right now." He kissed her softly. "I don't want to disappoint you or our baby. God... _our_ baby. You have no idea how it feels to be able to say that, Judy..."

She smiled into his arms. She was scared, she had let down her two children and couldn't help wonder if she would ruin this child's life too. She closed her eyes and breathed in her boyfriend's scent and prayed for everything to be okay.

"No one's gonna hurt our baby," he whispered, leaning down to rest his head on her shoulder. "I won't ever let them. Not me or anyone else. I swear to God I will do everything I can to protect them and you and your boy too if he'll let me."

"I hope Quinn doesn't get mad at me." She sighed, "But... I want to be a better mother then I was for Quinn and my daughter."

"Why would he get mad?" John asked curiously, "This will be his little brother or sister and I can already tell you that little boys and girls are born loving their big brothers and sisters. They'll need him in their life if he'll let them in his. And _you_," he stroked her shoulders, smiling at her for a moment before leaning in to kiss her forehead, "are going to be back in that boy of your's life as soon as _we_ find your crazy-ass ex and deal with him so he's no longer a threat. Got it? Boys always need their mom, Judy."

"I don't want him to hate me or think I'm replacing him."

"Not a chance, Judy." He gently lifted her chin with a finger. "No more than you replaced your daughter with him. Just don't shut him out. I can promise you, from everything you've told me about him, he will always be welcome in our home. Always, Judy. He's your family. The only person who needs replacing is that bastard of an ex of yours. And," he smiled shyly, "I like to hope I'm making some strides towards taking care of that?"

"You already have." she smiled, "Can we go home? It's been a day and my head's spinning."

"Certainly, sweetheart," he smiled, placing his hands on her waist and lifting her off the table. "And for the rest of the day, no work for you." He looked at her like she was the most precious thing he'd ever seen, "I'm going to take care of you, Judy. You and our baby. You have no idea how happy I am that you came to the doctor's today. No idea."

She smiled. "Can we take a nap?" she asked as she took her purse.

"Anything you want," he grinned down at her, slipping an arm around her shoulders and holding her close. "I love you, pretty girl. Let's go home and have us a lie down for a bit then I'll make you dinner."

She nodded and headed to the car with him. Her mind was racing, a baby... She smiled to herself at the thought, but then suddenly got worried about her fitness as a mother.

John got into the car and just sat there for a moment looking out the windshield before he started the car and looked at her with an awed smile. "We're having a baby, Judy," he whispered, reaching for her hand. "I'm getting a chance to be a dad and you," he smiled softly, "you're getting to show everyone what you can do without that asshole destroying you and your kids' lives." He shook his head, "This is amazing, baby. Thank you so much for letting me be a part of it." He brought her hand up and kissed her knuckles.

"I love you." She smiled. "God blessed us," she said softly before looking down. "I want to be better for the baby. Can... Can I take my GED test? I had my first child at 16... My second at 20." she looked at him. "I want to be better for the baby and you."

"Isn't that what we've been working our asses off for all summer?" He smirked at her, putting the car into gear and heading home. "How about we plan for the next test date available? I know you'll pass with flying colors. Maybe after that we could look at college courses? Just something at the local community college. Get your feet wet."

"I don't know." She sighed, "I think... I think I should just keep working when school starts and work at the church part time. I want to be able to pay for the baby and set some money aside for Quinn, too."

"Then let me help." He smiled at her as he pulled into the driveway of their home. "I'm going to be your child's daddy, right? It's only right I should help their mom improve herself, don't you think?"

"I'll think about it." She smiled, getting out of the car and following him inside with the slight shudder that she had begun to feel. It happened whenever she felt like she was being watched. She waited for John to unlock the door as she looked around for a sign of another person lingering.

"Is something wrong?" he asked as he turned to let escort her in. "Here we are, home sweet home. Hey," he smiled, "maybe we can turn your room into a nursery? I mean... if you want."

"That would be nice." She smiled, "Take me to bed?" she whispered after turning the lock in the door.

"Anything you want, beautiful," he whispered, scooping her up into his arms with a gentle smile as he headed down the hall to the room they'd been sharing after deciding there wasn't much of a point to deny their attraction after their initial night together.

* * *

><p>The party was a success. At least in Santana's mind it was. There was beer. There was dancing. Pretty girls to look at and Quinn by her side. Perfect.<p>

That's why she didn't think anything of the girl chatting her up at the bar when she went to grab another beer. A pretty blonde with a bright smile and full red lips that Santana was fairly sure had already been on a few different people tonight. Santana smiled at her though, unopposed to casual flirting.

"So what's a sexy thing like you doing in a frat party?" she asked, looking the blonde over and letting her eyes linger at the prominently displayed cleavage the girl was showing off with a smirk before continuing her look to athletically muscular arms and legs. "I expected more blitzed girls hanging on jock biceps but you're something else."

"I'm here to hang off your biceps." She smiled, "I'm Michelle." The girl smiled and slid a bit closer to Santana, "And I think you are the sexiest girl here."

"I am," Santana smirked, no trace of modesty as she sipped at her beer, a glance showing her where Quinn was across the room, "but I'm not a big fan of women hanging off me. If you can't stand up on your own, I really don't have any time for you. Santana, by the way."

"Sexy Santana." Michelle smiled, "I like it." She ran her finger tips up the other girls arm. "I can stand on my own, but I'd rather be lying down with you."

Santana cocked a brow at her, smirking around the mouth of the bottle as she took another sip. "Seriously? Damn, you come on strong. No dancing? No drink? Just a proposition? What do you think I'm an easy lay or something?"

"Nope," she said with a shrug as she sipped her cranberry and vodka. "I'm just hopeful." She smiled and ran her fingers down to Santana's hip. "So, Santana... What are you doing here? Besides drinking, were you looking for a hook up tonight?"

Across the room, Quinn gripped his beer tightly. He was watching his girlfriend blatantly flirting and _letting_ another girl touch her. She was looking like she enjoyed it. Quinn was livid, he slammed down his beer and grabbed another before heading outside.

"Nope," Santana smirked at her, not noticing Quinn storming out, "just looking for free beer and a good time with my boyfriend. I found one easily enough," she held up her bottle, "and the second will be happening later. Sorry."

"Boyfriend?" Michelle questioned. "Bullshit, you're a dyke and I think you should just come upstairs with me." She said, "You shouldn't flirt and not be willing to follow through."

Santana cocked a brow at her, smirk gone. "Fuck off. Flirting's a game and I haven't said anything to make you think I'd go anywhere with you. You might be sexy, but my man is more than enough for me. You want a quick fuck go find one of the damn Tri-Delts. They're so drunk they'd probably fuck anyone."

"Whatever," Michelle sighed, blowing her off. "See ya around." She slinked off and headed over to the next girl she could find.

Santana shook her head watching her walk off. "Freaking slut," she muttered, dropping her empty into a trash can and frowning when she realized she couldn't see Quinn anymore. "Where'd he go?" she mumbled, starting to look for her missing boyfriend.

Quinn sat on the front stoop nursing his beer. He did not think the night would turn out with his girlfriend ignoring him and flirting with someone else. He felt nauseous and pissed off about the whole situation.

After a few minutes of looking inside the house, Santana finally managed to make her way out onto the front porch. Spotting Quinn, she sighed in relief, coming over and dropping down beside him. "There you are," she smiled, "I was looking for you. How long have you been hiding out here?"

"Since I didn't want to watch you get all up on a sorority slut in the kitchen," he said coldly, keeping his gaze towards the road.

"What?" Stung, Santana straightened up from where she had been starting to lean into him. "What the hell, Quinn? I wasn't all up on _anyone_!"

"The blond who was touching you?" Quinn pointed out, "You were smiling and flirting with her. I'm allowed to be pissed."

"What? Michelle?" Santana shook her head, "She was coming on way too strong. Q, seriously, you know me, I _like_ flirting, but it doesn't mean anything cause I'm going home with you. Fuck, I _told_ her I had a boyfriend, what more do you want?"

"Not to flirt with people in front of me." He said strongly, "I don't want to watch you and some girl talking and her touching you and you not even stopping her. Fuck, San... What if I did that? What if some chick was rubbing up on me and I just looked over my shoulder and smirked at you? Would that make you feel good?"

She blinked at him. "Would you go off with her?" She sounded small and uncertain as she looked down at the steps under her feet instead of at him, "Would you leave without me?"

"Never..." He sighed, turning the bottle in his hands. "I don't like watching you flirt with people... I don't... I just don't like it."

"Then it doesn't mean anything," she reached for his hand, needing to have the physical contact. "Flirting... it's just what I _do_, Quinn. It's natural as breathing for me. But I can promise you that I'll _never_ go off with anyone but you and you're who I'm going home with. Dancing is just dancing and flirting is just flirting. Hell, I've danced and flirted with _Karofsky_ and he's queerer than a three dollar bill. It's just a game and when it stops being innocent, I shut it down."

"I still don't like it," he whispered. "I don't like how it makes me feel." He looked down, ashamed that it made him feel angry and possessive.

"How does it make you feel?" she asked, pulling his hand up so she could kiss his knuckles. "Does it make you want to come over and pull me away? Does it make you want to show the world that I'm yours? If it does, then do it, baby. I love you and you have my permission to be possessive and forceful if you need to. I won't ever let you hit me or do anything to hurt me, I promise."

"It makes me feel angry," he said. "You're my girlfriend and I'm the only one you should be allowed to be like that with... but then I realize that sounds crazy and I just walk away. I can't be like my dad, San."

"You're not like him, Quinn. The fact that you walk away makes you different," she smiled at him lopsidedly. "But you know me, baby. You know I like to casually flirt and I like to dance. But I will _always_ turn them down if they want more than that because I'm yours. I'm yours and you satisfy me in ways they couldn't dream of. Emotionally, mentally," she waggled her brows, trying to cheer him up, "_physically_. You're the whole package and the only one I want or need."

He nodded. "San, can we just go...?" he asked as he looked over to her. "I just don't wanna be here anymore. I just want to go home. We can have drinks at home if you want... or you can stay."

"I'm not staying if you're not here," she stood, helping him up. "Let's just get our jackets and let Homoexplosion know we're bailing. Okay? I'm in serious need of cuddles and loving with my man." She smirked at him, brushing an invisible piece of lint off his shirt, "Think that can be arranged?"

"Yeah." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry I'm a jealous boyfriend sometimes." He said as she grabbed their jackets. He helped her on with hers, "I just really love you and..." He sighed and smiled bashfully before heading over to Blaine and whispering in his ear that they were heading out. The dapper boy nodded and waved before Quinn headed back to Santana. he offered her his hand, "Let's go.""And what?" Santana asked curiously, taking his arm and using it to pull him close enough so she could hug his arm as they walked. "I like you loving me enough to be jealous though. It's the good kind of jealous I think."

"I just really love you and it hurts my heart to think about you with anyone else," he sighed and led her towards their apartment building.

She thought about it quietly for most of the walk, just leaning into him. Just outside their building, she tugged his arm for attention. "It hurts me too," she whispered when he looked down. "I don't ever want to think about you with someone else either, Q. So I," she sighed, slumping slightly, "I'll try not to flirt. I... I'll try not to dance with anyone else."

"I mean... maybe we like figure out something... or you only dance with gay boys?" he joked half-heartedly. "But I don't want to hold you back, okay?"

She shook her head, "I don't want to hurt you more than I want to flirt or dance. I just... maybe we can skip parties for a while. They aren't that fun anyway."

"I want you to have friends, San..." He sighed, "You deserve to enjoy college."

"I'm pretty sure people like Michelle aren't interested in being my friends, Q." She unlocked the door, heading up to their apartment, "Not unless you mean _friends_ and I sure as hell don't. I got called a dyke just cause I told her I have a boyfriend. Fuck that."

"She's dumb." Quinn sighed. "Babe, I'm gonna shower... get the scent of hormones and cheap beer off me," he remarked.

"Oh, okay," Santana murmured, unlocking their apartment door and tossing the keys on the hall table. "Want me to make some popcorn or something or just get things ready for tomorrow? Naked Saturday..."

"Popcorn sounds good, pick a movie we can watch if you want." he smiled and tugged off his shirt and threw it into the hamper.

He slid off his jeans and carefully removed his cock and stood in the open bathroom bare. He looked down, his hand running over his near sculpted chest and down to his hips. He smiled, happy the T had redistributed some of the fat in his hips and thighs, he was also more than excited about the protruding clit that was now peaking out from it's hood. It was his favorite part of the changes that had been happened to his body.

"Babe," San called from outside the bathroom, "stop ogling your hotness and just shower already. I's be wanting to get my cuddle on!"

He chuckled and slipped into the shower. He stood under the spray and let the water fall over his body.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

When she heard the water starting to run, Santana sighed softly. She hadn't meant for Quinn to get hurt by her flirting. She leaned on the counter as the popcorn popped and thought about what she could do to make it up to him and prove that he was the only one she wanted.

Listening to the water run for a moment, she smirked, though there was an edge of nervousness to it. There was _one_ thing she'd never done for him and if her thoughts on it were right, then there was a good chance he'd be into it. Leaving the popcorn in the microwave, she headed towards the bathroom.

Taking a deep breath, she slipped into the steamy room and pulled off her clothes as quietly as she could, her eyes on the shower curtain. Once she was undressed, she slipped into the shower. "Baby, I'm sorry about tonight," she whispered, pressing her breasts into his back as she slid her hands down to carefully stroke his hardening member where it poked out of his folds, "let me love you? Let me show you how much I love you? Like this?" She gave an experimental tug to his enlarged clit.

"Oh fuck." He gasped, "San..." his hips bucked in her hand. "I've never touched it yet," His eyes looked down to her hand.

"If you let me," she purred in his ear before sucking on his neck, "I'll do more than just _touch_ it." She ran her tongue up along his neck to flick his earlobe, "Would you like me to... kiss it better, babe?"

"Oh god." his eyes rolled back. "Is... it big enough?" He mumbled, nervous about the size of his appendage. "I don't want it to be like you're sucking a clit..."

She hummed, looking over his shoulder at where she was working him, tugging and sliding up the enlarged shaft. "Not for _sex_, but don't you want to try coming in my mouth, Q? Don't you want me on my knees for you? Don't you want to feel my lips around you as I suck you?" She smirked as she pulled his earlobe into her mouth, "Have you been pumping to get yourself big for me, baby?"

"Yes," he whimpered. "God, I dream about your mouth, babe," he admitted, looking down at the stiffening flesh that his girlfriend was stroking - smaller than a natural born man's dick, but still far bigger than his clit had been.

Slipping around in front of him, she placed her free hand on his chest, pushing him back against the shower wall as she slowly slid down to her knees. Looking up at him with water pouring down over her body as she kept stroking him, she smirked. "Let's make that dream a reality, handsome," she whispered before leaning in and carefully taking his dicklette into her mouth, rolling her eyes up to watch him as she gave an experimental suck.

"San..." He groaned, his head falling back, "Oh my god." His hand fell to her shoulder as his firm member felt the hot, wet mouth of his girlfriend for the first time.

She watched him, her lips curling into a smirk around him as she slid her tongue over him. Biting gently, she flicked the tip with her tongue, oddly aroused by the feel of his hardness in her mouth. By the taste of his body covering her tongue. She groaned low in her throat in pleasure as she bobbed her head to tug him slightly.

He groaned, his hand moving to the back of her head as she sucked him. He gathered her loose hair into a ponytail between his fingers and tentatively guided her back and forth on his dick. She moaned around him at the guidance, her hands coming down to grip his ass as she sucked.

Humming softly, she ran her teeth over his length as her nails dug into his ass. "So good," she muttered as she pulled away to catch her breath for a moment, whimpering softly as she took him back into her mouth.

She nodded, flicking her tongue over the tip of his member. Rolling her eyes, she looked up at him and smirked, water trickling down over her face from the shower pounding into them. She kneaded his ass as she sucked him, legs shifting as she tried to give herself some relief from the burning arousal as she whimpered and moaned into his body at the taste and feeling of giving _him_ a blowjob and not his prosthetic.

"This feels amazing, San," he moaned. "God. I'm gonna come soon," he warned her his gripped her head tighter. "Fuck, baby, harder."

"Come in my mouth, baby," she gasped before gripping him gently in her teeth and tugging, sucking hard with a low moan as her nails dug into his ass to pull him even closer to her mouth.

He gasped and his hips jut forward as his left hand pressed into the wall. He caught his breath and his back arched as the overwhelming urge to let go of the building pressure in his loins overcame him and he ejaculated into her mouth. A low groan sprung from his lips as he clenched his hand in her hair.

Santana swallowed the fluid that she suddenly found filling her mouth as quickly as she could, but a little still leaked out the corner of her mouth. She smiled as she released him to lick her lips and look up at him with hooded eyes. "Delicious," she whispered with a smirk, reaching up to wipe the trickle away from the corner of her mouth with one finger.

Kissing her way up his body, she pressed her body against his and joined their lips together in a possessive, lustful kiss. "I knew you'd be amazing," she whispered against his lips, before leaning in to kiss him again, her fingers tight in his hair as her body all but hummed with arousal.

"I love you so much," he moaned as he pushed her back against the wall of the shower. He slid his fingers down her body and through her folds. He smirked when he felt how wet she was before he found her clit and started circling it. "Did you like having my dick in your mouth? Me coming down your throat?"

She whimpered, pressing her face into the crook of his neck and trembling as he touched her. "Yes," she moaned, "God, baby, please... I need you inside me. Please, I'm so fucking turned on..."

He nodded and slid three fingers inside her hot channel. "So fucking tight," he groaned as he thrust hard and fast inside her pussy. "You are always so wet for me," he remarked before pressing his thumb against her clit.

"Fuck yes," she moaned, already on edge. Her core rippled and clenched against his fingers tightly as she teetered on the edge of orgasm. "So close, baby," she panted, rocking against his hand, trying to get him deeper inside her, her breasts rubbing over his chest as she moved. "God, so _close_!"

He whimpered, his wrist thrusting harder into her. "Come on my hand," he demanded, feeling how close she was. "Do it now, Santana."

Her body jerked, pushed up by the force he was pumping her with and she cried out as her muscles locked up in orgasm. She trembled and shook as she clung to him, her nails dug into is shoulders, knees buckling as she lost control. "Quinn," she mewled through teeth clenching on his shoulder. "Oh God..."

He kept working his fingers inside her, "So sexy," he whispered as she clawed at his skin. "I love feeling you."

"Fuck," she hissed as her body shook into a second orgasm. "Quinn!" One of her hands shot down between them to still his fingers when she almost slipped on the wet floor coming back down. She looked up at him with dark eyes, panting for breath. "No more fingers," she gasped, "I want your dick in me, baby. I want you to pin me down and fuck me in our bed. Can you do that?"

"Yeah. I think I can manage that." He assured her before scooping her up and wrapping her legs around his body. He laid her on the bed and moved to grab his dick and hurried back into the bathroom to get dry and adhere it onto his body. He walked back in, pumping it hard as he crawled on the bed to loom over her. "So fucking sexy."

She sprawled on the bed, legs spread and wrists crossed above her head as she smirked up at him. Her arousal glistened on her thighs and as he watched, a bead of the slick fluid slid from her channel and down towards the sheet under her. "I'm yours," she whispered, watching him, her core throbbing with want. "No one else gets to see me like this or touch me, Quinn. Only your fingers or your tongue or your dick gets to be in me. No matter who I flirt or dance with, you're the only one I want to fuck me, baby."

He smiled, his body moving to cover hers. He ran his dick between her folds and licked his lips. Bringing one hand to her breast, he used the other to hold down her arms as he slid inside her.

She arched up into him with a low cry as she bit her lower lip, eyes closing to let her take in all the sensations of being pinned down by his hands and dick. "Fuck! Yes, baby," she panted, dragging her eyes open to look up at him as he moved above her. "I love you, Quinn. God, you're the only one who can fuck me like this." Her legs spread wider and she canted her hips up to take him deeper, rolling her body to meet each slow thrust.

"You are beautiful like this." He pumped his hips in time with her. "I love being inside you."

"I love this," she gasped, her breath coming in short pants as she rocked under him, the headboard tapping the wall with the force of their movements. "I love you... on top... in our bed..." She opened her eyes to look at him, her mouth gaping for breath as she tried to smile, "m-making love to me..."

He pressed down on her hands. "I love you," he whispered as he leaned down and nipped and sucked on her neck. "I want everyone to see this," He bit her skin lightly, "that you're my girlfriend."

She rolled her head to give him better access. "I want them to see. I don't want anyone to doubt," she let out a low moan as his movements cause his dick to rub across her g-spot, trembling under him, "I'm yours, Quinn. No one else's..."

"I love you," he exhaled as he thrust deeper into her. "You're my everything." He said as he sucked at her skin leaving a visible mark on the side of her neck before moving down and doing the same on her breasts.

She whimpered and writhed beneath him, getting even more pleasure at the strength of his hands holding her down as he moved inside her and marked her with his mouth. "I used to dream of this," she admitted, breathlessly. "You holding me down and making me yours. I'd wake up fucking _drenched_ thinking about you fucking me with a huge strap on. But," she gasped, panting for breath as she began rocking faster, needing more stimulation, "t-this is better... so _so_ much better... I love you!" The last word came out in a strangled near shout as her body hit the peak, nearly pitching her off the edge at the feeling of one particularly deep thrust tapping her cervix.

He let her ride out her climax as he continued to thrust into her body. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered, when she could speak again, finally dragging her eyes open to look up at him, jaw gaping as she panted for breath with a satisfied smile curling her lips. "God, you're fucking amazing in bed, Q. Way, _way_ better than anyone else who's ever touched me." She reached up with a trembling hand to stroke his cheek, feeling the slight roughness of stubble, "Thank you for wanting me..."

He rolled to his side, holding her close. "You're perfect. How could not I want you?" he asked before cupping her cheek and kissing her lovingly.

She shrugged, hooking a leg over her hip and snuggling close, her walls rippling along his member where it was still held deep in her tight channel and shifting it against him. "Lots of people haven't. You're special though because you did." She gently kissed along his neck, not entirely done unless he was. "I love feeling you inside me..."

"I love being nestled in there," he smiled and watched her. "You giving me head was sexy as hell though."

"I liked it," she smirked at him. "Maybe sometime we could try out here on the bed and do it together? I could blow you while you eat me out?" She cocked a challenging brow at him with a teasing smirk. "Cause I got more turned on than ever getting to catch your cum in my mouth, baby."

He moaned, "That would be hot." He smiled, "I think we should try that sometime."

"Whenever you want, handsome," she whispered, leaning in to kiss him, her hand rubbing over his bare chest. "Think you'd be up for some more? I'm kind of feeling like riding you... and if you want to wake me with this," she grabbed his ass, grinding down against him so her arousal slicked his groin and his head rubbed against her cervix in a way that ached better than she'd ever thought it would. "I would not at all be against that." She smiled softly, reaching up to stroke his cheek, "I kind of like the idea of waking up to you making love to me, baby."

"I can do that." He smiled as he rolled them onto his back and held her hips tightly. "God, baby I love you."

She rolled her hips as she smiled down at him, knowing that the member was stimulating him as she moved on top of him. "You like me like this, don't you," she smirked knowingly as she rolled her whole body to slide all but off his dick and then back down with a breathy moan. She ran her hands over his chest as she moved, caressing his scars, "Like seeing me lose myself on top of you..."

"Yes," he agreed, his hands sliding to her ass. "I watch you," he said. "I always have. You're captivating."

"Did you watch me before?" she asked curiously, riding him, the sounds of their joining a wet accompaniment. "Did you ever imagine me like this? Slicking your thick cock with my juices as I rode you?" She reached for his hands, pulling them up to her breasts, "Did you used to dream about touching me like this, Q?"

He stroked her chest as he watched her face. "Yes," he admitted. "I imagined you riding my dick, giving me hand jobs and me cumming all over you." He closed his eyes wishing he could actually pull off the vivid acts in his dreams.

"God, I wish you could," Santana moaned, writhing on top of him, cupping her hands over his. "I used to get so wet after we fought cause I'd, unh, I'd imagine you pushing me up against the lockers and just _fucking_ me until I'd agree to whatever you wanted." Her eyes closed as she gave into the sensations, "Fuck, Q, I wish I could feel you spurt in me. I don't even care if you'd knock me up..."

He moaned one of his hands dropping to her stomach as he thrust. "Someday," he whispered, taking her hand in his, "I love you so much. I'd really like that in the future."

"Fuck," she gasped, nearing her fourth climax of the night, "if anyone's carrying your kid, it's fucking gonna be me. Got it?"

"Good," he moaned, thrusting more, his own orgasm impending.

"Oh God," she gasped, moving faster as she got closer and closer, her channel gripping his dick and making it almost feel like she was pulling him in deeper with each movement. "I'm so close. Come with me, Q. Please, baby..."

He leaned up and captured her lips before gasping out and his body shaking with release. The kiss and change in angle was just enough to push her over the edge and she cried out softly as she collapsed against him.

"Fuck," she breathed when she finally caught her breath again, turning her head weakly to kiss his chest, feeling her body still fluttering around his cock. "Baby, tomorrow... I want you to take me whenever you want, okay? I'm going to be so ready for you all day. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. If you want me, just take me. I'm telling you right now that I'm so very okay with it it's not even funny."

He chuckled softly. "I'll keep that in mind, babe," he said with a smile as he smoothed his hands down her back. "Right now I think we need sleep," he whispered as he heard the telltale sounds of their drunk roommates heading into their own bedroom.

"Yeah," she whispered, sliding off him with a gasp of loss before reaching down to twist the release on his member to let him soften. Turning around to be the little spoon, she nestled back into him. "Hold me? I bet you're gonna be in me so much tomorrow, I won't even miss not sleeping with you filling me. Besides," she yawned, "I don't want to come in my sleep again."

"That was pretty impressive," he said with a smirk, remembering waking up to the sound of her soft cries as she rode his dick in her sleep, he kissed her shoulder and pulled the blankets over their bodies. "I love you, San."

"Shut up, you loved it," she smirked, snuggling back into him. "Love you too, Cap."

* * *

><p>Santana woke slowly with a pleased grin curling her lips as she stretched. The apartment was quiet - a good sign that the boys had left for the day - and she was alone but could smell something delicious and hear soft noises coming from the kitchen. Any day she got to wake up with the pleasant soreness of a good sex session with Quinn between her thighs and smelling his cooking was a good one in her book.<p>

Pushing the covers aside, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up. Not bothering to get dressed, she headed down the hall to the kitchen, smirking to see her man in nothing but a apron working the stove when she walked in. Coming up behind him, she wrapped her arms around him and nipped at his shoulder, pressing her body against him.

"Hmm," she purred softly, "I missed you when I woke up."

"Hey, babe," he smiled, "I thought you might want some food after the booze and sex last night." He said as he leaned over and grabbing a mug and poured coffee into it. "I'm making pancakes."

"Quinn," she teased, accepting the mug, "I'm starting to wonder about your heterosexuality here. Your sexy as hell girlfriend is naked and rubbing up on you and you haven't even offered a good morning kiss. I mean, do I need to get on my knees and blow you while you cook?" she smirked, sipping the coffee.

He turned around and kissed her hard. "Good morning," he said softly, "I didn't wanna burn your food because you'd yell at me."

"Not today," she smirked, reaching down to squeeze his ass with one hand as the other worked the valve so his erection could be pumped up. "Naked Saturdays are about sex and being happy, not yelling. If you burned my food, you'd just have to," she licked her lips, running her fingers up from his ass to stroke his chest, "make it up to me. Think you could?"

"Yes." He smiled, "But woman, stop touching me so I can get my strength up to fuck you today." He said sternly, "I need my strength!"

She laughed, but backed off. "Okay, Cap. I know I take it out of you," she teased with a wink, moving to lean against the sink and watch him as she sipped her coffee. "How about I do the dishes after so you can rest after eating?"

"We'll see." He said as he flipped the pancake. He went to the fridge and grabbed the juice glasses he had poured earlier and then the syrup and ketchup. He put the bacon that he made earlier in the microwave and heated it up again. He laid out the plates and cutlery and then put pancakes and fruit on their plates. "Chocolate chip for you and banana for me."

Santana accepted her plate with a lopsided smile, moving to the table where he'd set everything else up. "You are entirely too good to me, Quinn." Leaning over she kissed him softly, "I'm lucky to have you."

"Yes, you are," He replied with a smirk, "Now sit your fine ass down and eat." He said as he placed the bacon down.

Laughing, she dropped into the chair beside him. "Oh, we're a match. Our egos are almost the same size," she teased, taking a piece of bacon and nibbling on it as she watched him, "and we're both like crazy levels of sexy hot."

"This is abundantly true," he said with a smiled as he put syrup on his pancakes and ketchup on his plate for the bacon. "I like being able to just spend time with you."

"Me too," she spoke around a mouthful of food. Chewing and swallowing, she shrugged. "We've been crazy busy and haven't had as much time to just... hang out and be together like we were this summer. I've missed it."

"Me too." he said honestly, "School is crazy and I don't like not spending a lot of time together. Between your cheer practice and swim for me it's just kinda insane." He chewed some of his food and watched her, "Your parents left a message they'd like to come for dinner on Sunday if that's cool."

"That's fine with me," she shrugged. "Though we probably want to talk to the boys to make sure they're cool." She cut another bite off her pancakes with the edge of her fork, "Is something up? Usually we get a _little_ more notice."

He shrugged, "I think we've been ignoring them." Quinn also knew that Maria mentioned a package coming for him. "Besides me picking up shifts on my off days we never really see them."

"I still can't believe you drive all the way back there to _work_, babe," she shook her head, eating some more of the pancakes. "Aren't you busy enough with school, swim and me?"

"I like cooking... OSU doesn't have a Culinary Major so..." He shrugged, "It's the least I can do, you know? They helped me out after I got hurt..."

"Yeah, but," she shrugged, pushing her food around, "I miss you. You come back late when you don't just crash at my parents' house and you're really tired... can't you find a place up here to work if you want to work?"

"It's just one day a week..." He said softly, "You're at practice and lab those nights anyway," he retorted. "If I wanna be a cook I need the hours, San. It's like the only thing I'm good at."

"Fine," she muttered, going back to her food. She didn't like him having to drive two hours each way, especially by himself, but she knew she wasn't going to win the argument no matter how much she tried. After a few more minutes, she decided she was done eating and got up to clean up.

He shook his head and got up and threw away his half eaten food and then put his plate in the sink. "I'm gonna shower," he said simply, going into the bathroom and closing the door and showering quickly.

She sighed, hearing the irritation in his voice as she started to run water in the sink to wash up. "Maybe Naked Saturday was a bad idea," she mumbled as she added soap to the water, "Cause I don't really feel very happy right now."

He came out a few minutes later drying off and remaining naked, "At least now I don't smell like bacon." He shrugged and threw the towel and apron he cooked in into the hamper. "Look, I know you don't like me going but I don't like being home alone ether. Sam has football and Blaine has the musical... You have cheerleading and that takes up everyone's nights. I only have swim which is twice a week and I really hate being alone so I go to work. I like to work, I like to cook."

"I don't mind you working, Quinn. I know you like it," she sighed, frustrated. "I'm just fucking _scared_ okay? It's a long drive and you're all alone and tired," her knuckles started going white from how tightly she was gripping the edge of the sink. "I'm scared you'll be too tired one day and won't come home..."

"I'll always come home." He explained, "San, I will look for a job here if you prefer..." He looked down not really loving the idea of having to pass in another place. About having to give his work papers that still blatantly said "Lucy Fabray" all over them.

"Don't," she whispered, not turning around. "Don't do something you don't want to do just to make me happy. Just... just be careful... please. You're the only one who's ever loved me and I don't want to lose you because of something stupid."

"I still need to get some shit in order before I can get a job up here, okay?" He said, "I can't apply for kitchen jobs being _Lucy_ on all of my forms..." He sighed and walked over to her and hugged her. "Sadly, the world won't love me as much as you do or accept me like your family and the homoexplosion coupling does." He kissed her shoulder blade. "Being at school is hard enough... I don't want anything else new right now."

"I know," she sniffed, reaching up to wipe at her face, still not facing him, "I'm just scared and I keep thinking I'm going to get a call one night saying there's been an accident. It's stupid cause who'd even know to call me?" She shrugged, shaking her head, "Don't worry about it."

"I have a picture of you and your cellphone number in my wallet. You are my emergency contact at school and the first number in my phone." He smiled, "You'd get called... You're my person... My everything, okay? But nothing will happen to me."

"I hope not," she whispered. She was still scared, but she knew she couldn't ask him to stop his long commute. "Can we... Quinn, can we just not talk about it anymore? I don't want to talk about it..."

"Okay," he whispered, as he kissed her neck. "How can I make you happy again?"

"I don't know," she mumbled, finally turning around to bury her face against his shoulder. "I just want to be as close to you as I can."

"I like being close to you," he whispered, "I always wanna be with you." He smiled and kissed her again softly, "You're my world, Santana Lopez."

She smiled and shook her head, reaching up to wipe a couple of lingering tears away. "How do you always know what to say when I'm feeling crappy?" She laughed softly, leaning up to kiss him. "I should probably get the dishes done before we do anything though." Turning back to the sink, she dropped the pan he'd used into the cooling but still very soapy water she'd ran a bit ago. "Don't want to hear Homoexplosion ranting about it again."

"Mmhm." He said as he ran his hand up and down her sides as she washed the dishes. His hips rocking his member into her ass as he kissed up the side of her neck.

Her breath caught in her throat, "Q-quinn? Babe," she gasped as he brushed against her ass, her hands stilling on the pan she was washing, "w-what are you doing?"

"Just playing," he said simply as he continued to rock against her.

"M-my," she struggled with her breath, her body responding to the feeling of him sliding against her, "my doing the dishes makes you want to play?" She smirked, or at least tried to, "Seriously, Q, you've got some w-weird turn ons."

"I'm a eighteen year old boy... and you are naked." He husked, "That turns me on. So does you being all domestic."

"You're odd," she leaned back with a teasing smirk for a kiss, inadvertently rubbing against him, "but I love you and I did give you standing permission to take me whenever today. Are you going to let me get these done," she gestured at the stack by the sink, "before you get me done?"

"Fine." He smiled, "I'm gonna go chill. You come find me when you're ready," he said before going to flop on the couch.

"Wow, you give up easy," she called back, continuing to wash the dishes, well aware he could see her from his spot on the couch. "Thought you were an eighteen year old boy, Q."

He shrugged and ran his hand over his body and started fondling his package. He made it so it was erect and watched her as she stood at the sink. A sly glance over her shoulder let her know he was watching, so she started swaying as she washed the dishes, humming softly to herself. She could feel her arousal pooling between her legs and beginning to slick her thighs as she swayed, moving her body under his gaze. He smirked and parted his legs slightly as he continued to stroke himself.

"Babe," she teased, "you comfortable over there?" She slid her legs apart as she spoke, deliberately arching her back so he could see her smooth core dripping with arousal as she worked to finish things up.

"I'm good." He moaned, "You seem a little wet over there... hard time drying the dishes?"

"Mmm, I just can't seem to get a grip on them," she called. "Everything's just so... _slippery_ when it's wet like this."

He chuckled, "That was really bad. You sound like a Bon Jovi album."

"I blame Glee," she joked, drying off the last dish and turning to face him, running a hand over her stomach, teasingly brushing her fingers over the top of her core. "Guess I didn't need your help after all."

"You get wet watching me touch my cock," he said matter of factly, "You wanna come over here and play with it?"

"Hmmm," she dipped a finger between her folds, "maybe. Of course, you _did_ decide to go play with yourself instead of me..."

"Just getting nice and hard for you," he said, taking his hands away and letting his cock stand up curving slightly to the left. "Think I'm hard enough?"

"You're always hard for me, Cap," she smirked. "I suppose I have to come over there and do all the rest of the work now, hmm?" She teased, continuing to coax her body into releasing more arousal. "You just want to lay back and watch me ride you until we're both dripping with my cum, don't you."

"Maybe you can ride my face first?" He asked, "I want your pussy to drip in my mouth."

She cocked a brow at him. "Oh do you now?" She stretched with a smirk, straightening from where she'd been leaning against the sink and slinking towards him. "You think you can handle that, baby? Sure I won't be too much for you?"

"Never." he smiled, "Get your ass over here."

She pushed him back on the couch, crawling up on top of him. "How do you want me, stud?" she smirked. "Facing your head or down where I can kiss you?"

"You don't like to give me head with this," he said, motioning to his cock. "How about just face my head and let me love you?"

"Quinn," Santana shook her head, smiling lopsidedly, "I don't mind _this_," she reached down to stroke his length, "as much as I did the strap on. This is just an extension of you. I can give you head with this if you want me to."

"Won't be the same as last night," He blushed, his hands holding her ass as he slid her closer. "Let me kiss you."

"Already developed a preference for how you want my mouth on you, baby?" She smirked and moved up to straddle his face. "Alright, big shot," she teased, lowering down towards him, "let's see if you can handle me."

He stroked her ass for a few moments before leaning up and sliding his tongue through her folds. He moaned into her skin as he lathed his tongue up and down for a few minutes teasing her.

"Oh fuck," she gasped, leaning forward to grip the arm of the sofa above his head. "O-only bad part about doing this on the sofa," she muttered, "is I only got so far to spread my legs."

He shrugged and slipped his tongue into her channel. "Sometimes I wish I could taste you as my cum seeps out of your hole."

She whimpered, rocking against his mouth, "Fuck, Q, why you gotta say stuff that makes me want you more?"

"Cause," he mumbled before moving his lips up to suckle at her clit.

Santana whimpered, grinding down into his mouth as she rode him. "Oh God, Quinn... I... I," she reached back with one hand and pressed his hand into her ass, "Hard, baby. I can't work you like I want here, so grip me hard."

HIs fingers tightened on her ass as he sucked her clit harder. He brought his tongue back down after a few minutes and slid it inside her and went about fucking her the best he could with it.

"Oh _God_!" she hissed, reaching up to pinch and tease at her nipples, knowing he could see her, "Fuck. Yes. Quinn." Her walls clenched and rippled against his tongue, squeezing down on him as her body responded to his actions.

He kept going as hard as he could and squeezing her ass as he moved with her writhing body. She whimpered and moaned above him as she moved, trying to get relief from the overwhelming frenzy of sensations coming from her lower body. She came hard, feeling something release inside of her that splashed out onto his face as she shook with a wordless cry, her body bowing under the intensity of her release.

He moaned and licked up all the essence that she gave away. He carefully cleaned her pussy and thighs of her juices before nipping her skin and smacking her ass softly as he moved her back to sit on his stomach. He used the back of his hand to wipe his face before smiling up at her.

"You look proud of yourself," she remarked, moving to lay against him with his member lightly pressing along her core as she straddled it.

"I like knowing I can make you fall over the edge." he said, kissing her lips softly. "I like kissing you and watching you writhe on me. Knowing that I give you pleasure."

"You do," she smirked, leaning up to kiss him back, relishing the taste of the two of them on his lips. "I kind of love kissing you after. Being able to taste both us like that..."

"I like it too," he said softly, running his fingers over her skin. "I love naked days."

"Maybe we should do it more often?" she mused softly, smiling as she kissed the scars on his chest. "I like seeing you like this."

"I always like you naked," he replied. "You're very warm and sexy."

"Damn straight," she snorted. "We've got the whole apartment to ourselves for a few more hours until the boys come home, baby... what do you want to do?"

"I'd be more than content to stay like this," he said softly. "I love being able to hold you."

"Naked on the sofa?" she snickered. "Much as I'd love to see the faces on Homoexplosion if they came home to see us like this, do you want them to?"

"We can move to bedroom for nakedness and napping," Quinn pointed out as he used his strength to scoop her up and carry her into the bedroom.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and smirked, "Gee, something tells me we're not gonna spend much time today outside of our room. But you're ready to sleep again already?" she teased.

"No. We can do whatever you'd like," he said softly. "I'm just needy today."

"I don't mind needy," she whispered into his neck as they crawled into bed together. "I like being able to cuddle and be close. But if you tell anyone, I wills end you."

"We fuck a lot, but we never really get to just cuddle... I know it's gross and romantic, but like we only do it when we're asleep." he admitted.

She shrugged. "It's not gross. I like it. I like when you're romantic, Q." She shrugged again, "I just don't want everyone to know. I want to keep it just ours, you know? Besides," she smirked, cuddling in and wrapping an arm around his chest, "I's gots a rep to protect. Can't have everyone be thinking I'm all soft and shit cause I'm with you."

"I think that we can keep that on the down low." He smiled and held her tighter.

She laughed. "Good. Wouldn't want anyone to try and steal you from me." She kissed the end of one of his scars, "You're kind of a perfect guy, Q. Sweet, sensitive - most of the time, caring and loving the romantic shit. I'm glad you're mine."

"You're the perfect girl. Sexy, smart, independent, and strong willed." He ran his fingers through her hair. "You're my other half... my heart."

"I'm not perfect," she snorted. "I'm insecure, needy, way too stubborn... I make you doubt yourself and that's not cool."

"I'm dysphoric, angry, paranoid, and hateful," he said, "but you make me feel normal and I hope I make you feel balanced too."

"I feel... I don't know," she whispered, trying to puzzle it out in her head before talking. "I feel confused a lot of the time, but when I'm with you, I don't have to think about all that. I don't have to worry about anyone else or what they might be thinking. Because you don't care. You just hold me and I can... relax. You know? I'm," she smiled shyly, "I'm kinda glad you're not a girl, Q. I don't know if I would have ever been really comfortable in a real relationship with you if you were. Not after Brittany..." she shook her head, trying to forget how awful she'd felt when the other girl dropped her again for Artie.

"Brittany was a bitch and you didn't deserve what she did to you." He said softly, "And she didn't deserve your love. I will try to earn your love everyday I'm alive if you let me."

"Quinn, stop acting like you have to prove something to me, okay?" Santana sighed, resting her head on his chest. "You don't have to _earn_ my love. Just love me and I'll love you, okay? That's all we need, right? I want you more than anyone else, Q. Can't that be enough? I just want you, okay?"

"Okay." He said softly, "I just love you."

She laughed, turning her head to kiss his shoulder. "You're ridiculous. But I love you too. And I plan on sticking around for a good long while, so you're stuck with me. And all my ridiculous needs and wants and worries and inability to cook."

"You can do other things." He smiled, "Plus, you're pretty," he said and kissed her lips gently, "and you not cooking makes me want to take care of you more."

"Great," she chuckled softly, teasing, "so I'm the helpless woman now, huh? Good to know."

"No... I just think it's a boy's job to make sure his girl feels loved and respected and taken care of so she can do whatever it is she wants."

"Babe, I can take care of myself. You don't have to take care of me," but she smiled as she said it, enjoying that he wanted to. "And when do I get to take care of you? We're equals in this, Q. It doesn't matter if you're a boy or I'm a girl. We take care of each other and love each other and respect each other. I wanna be able to support you so you can do whatever it is you want too, you know."

"I know." He smiled. "But making you feel special is my hobby," he said as he tangled their fingers together.

"You do make me feel special," she smiled softly, happy and content in his arms. "Every day I get to wake up to you and fall asleep in your arms. You make me feel special when you smile at me from across the room when you realize I'm watching you. Trust me, babe, I feel special just knowing I get to have moments like this. That I'm the _only_ one who does," she added possessively, hugging him tight.

He smiled and kissed her head. "Forever right? Until we're old and wrinkled?"

"That's the plan," she yawned, the warmth of his body making her drowsy.

"Close your eyes, babe," he said, "we can nap."

She chuckled drowsily. "I think you relax me a little _too_ much, stud," she mumbled as she drifted off.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

It was disgusting.

The abomination that woman he had tied himself to was creating of herself. He had married her as the Bible instructed. He was a _good_ Christian. He didn't understand why the Lord God was _punishing_ him like this, but he would overcome the challenges set before him.

She had tainted herself by lying with a beast and was now sauntering around _bragging_ about how she was with its child. He could not take her to his bed again. She had to be destroyed as did the half-breed mongrel growing in her womb. And the beast that spawned it.

The letter opener was cool in his sweaty palm as he rolled it in his hand. Every moment he saw the beast and his fallen wife together he wanted to be sick. He had _lain_ with that woman. Sown her with his seed and provided for her. Had taken her to wife when she had become heavy with his first child. His precious Franny.

He reached over and gripped the whore's hair, dragging her down. "Do your duty, whore," he growled, pressing her face down onto his erection.

The girl in the torn uniform whimpered, trying to resist, only to be slapped hard and shoved back into the passenger seat, her bound arms keeping her from catching herself before her head smacked painfully hard into the glass.

"You need more training," he growled darkly, his eyes never leaving a smiling John helping his heavily pregnant girlfriend into his car as he threw the car into drive and pulled off.

"No," she whimpered, staring at him frightenedly with tears streaking her dirty face. "Please... just let me go home. Please... I won't tell. I promise I won't..."

"Shut _up_!" he barked, lashing out with the letter opener and tearing the grey blazer of her jacket. "You are a _woman_ and need to be _trained_. I'll teach you as your _father_ should have. I'll do his duty by you and teach you how to please a man, little whore. Maybe you'll even learn enough to be a _wife_ someday."

His eyes darted about as he drove, flicking from the girl to the road to the dash and back. He mopped at the sweat lining his brow before wiping off a trickle of blood from his nose. "You'll see," he muttered, gripping the letter opener again before dropping it into the cup holder and gripping his member, "you'll be a good girl. Better than Quinn was. You'll see. And then you'll help me. You will. You'll help me get my revenge on the abominations. You'll help me one way or another."

* * *

><p>"Dude?" Sam called softly as he headed out onto the tiny balcony of their apartment. "Why are you out here when San's like a freakshow mess in there? You guys okay?" He took one look at the sad loneliness on Quinn's face and dropped down on the cold ass concrete beside him. "<em>You<em> okay?"

Quinn slammed his fist into the punching bag he and Blaine had put up. "Fucking peachy," he panted as he smacked his wrapped hands against the bag again. He pulled back and brushed the sweat off his brow and let his neck roll back. He wore just baggy gym shorts and no shirt as he worked on punching out the feelings he had inside.

"Okay. Dude? You need to calm down and talk to me," he pointed out, leaning against the iron railing. "San's all bawling that you're breaking up with her and that's kinda a problem since I don't want her killing me in my sleep."

"She's being annoying." Quinn grumbled as he punched the bag again. "I said I didn't want to go to her parents, she doesn't like to hear no."

Sam stared at him for a moment. "You, like, love her parents, Q. What'd you do? Kill the family pet by accident and don't wanna fess up? Cause I totally know how that feels," he added with a wince.

Quinn just glared at him before going back to punching the bag. "I don't wanna deal with them. I don't want to celebrate my birthday and she's being stupid and not listening to me."

"It's your birthday? Since when?" At Quinn's incredulous look, Sam laughed. "Q, look, San's like... crazy. Like, seriously. But she's also crazy about you and you _did_ take her to an amazing restaurant for her birthday. She just wants to do something nice for you. What's the big deal?"

"I'm not in the mood," he grumbled.

"But you are in the mood to make your girlfriend a nearly homicidal psycho again?" He raised a brow. "Dude, just talk to me. I'll be like your priest or whatever, but she's seriously freaking and I kinda don't want her to kill my boyfriend while he's trying to get her to stop the waterworks."

"I don't wanna be around her family. They're perfect and I just want my mom okay!"

"Oh so _that's_ what this is about." He shrugged. "Look, I get missing your family, Q. You don't think I don't miss my family like crazy and I know where they are so I know it's not the same, but still. You could just tell her that. She'd get it. Dude, she's fucking Santana Lopez. Yeah, she's kinda a bitch, but when you need her, she has your back. And she loves your crazy ass. She's not gonna make you hang out with her folks if she knows you're missing your mom."

"It's stupid, she's never coming back. I know that... But I just want her too."

"Of course you do. She's your _mom_. Just cause you're a guy doesn't mean you don't want your mom." Sam shrugged again. "And hey, she said she'd come back after she dealt with your asshole of a dad, right? You told me that."

"Russell Fabray doesn't get dealt with..." he sighed. "He's going to find one of us then kill them. Then go after the other."

Sam climbed to his feet and glared at him. "To hell with that. That asshole shows his face around here and I'm practicing my grand slam swing on his head, got it? I still owe him a beating for hurting my best friend. Don't talk to me about how he'll hurt me either. I don't care. People don't get to fuck with my family."

Quinn just sighed and slammed a few more punches into the bag. "I'm just over this. I'm over everything right now."

Sam reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "Can you please go talk to your woman and just tell her you miss your mom then? She's never been a bitch about it before."

He sighed and unwrapped his hands before grabbing a towel off the railing and heading inside. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle before heading into his and Santana's room. "San?" he asked softly.

She was curled up on the bed facing away from the door. "What?" She sounded miserable and the little sniffle that he knew she'd completely deny at the end hurt. "I already called mom and dad and told them we're not coming so... whatever, okay?"

Quinn sighed and moved to sit on the side of the bed. "I'm sorry I'm being an ass..." he sighed. "I'm not in a good mood. I hate school, I hate life and I'm not happy." he rubbed his eyes and sighed. "I don't feel like celebrating my birthday."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out," she muttered, tightening her arms around her knees. "You hate me along with everything else?" She hated that she sounded so small and miserable asking it, but she hated more that she wasn't sure of the answer.

"You're the only thing I like in this world," he reminded her. "You make it worth staying."

"Doesn't feel like it when I get fucking yelled at for trying to do something nice for your stupid birthday."

"I don't want to deal with this," he said softly. "I just love you and you make me happy. I just want my mom."

"Is that all?" Santana asked, finally rolling over to look at him, wiping away the traces of tears. "Why couldn't you just _tell_ me? We didn't have to do anything. We coulda just stayed home and watched stupid movies or cuddled or whatever you wanted..."

"Because sometimes I just don't want to talk about shit and you push me! I didn't want to go to your parents. I drive that way every other day and see them all the time at work!" he exclaimed. "I just wanted to relax on my one night off when I didn't have any studying to do!"

She flinched as his voice raised and pressed her lips together. "You don't have to yell at me about it," she pointed out, moving to get off the bed. "I just told you we didn't have to go. Be pissed at me if you want, but I don't feel like getting yelled at by my boyfriend when I haven't even done anything wrong." She pushed off the bed, wiping at her eyes. "Text me or something when I can come home."

"Santana!" he exclaimed as he stood up and grabbed her around the waist. "Please don't leave... I'm... I'm not myself today and it's hard to not take it out on you. I'm sorry..." he whispered into her hair. "Please..."

"I don't wanna leave," she admitted softly, gripping his arms where they wrapped around her and leaning slightly back into him. "I just... it fucking _hurts_ when you yell at me when I'm just _trying_ to be a good girlfriend for you. I know I'm bad at relationships and I fuck things up but... God, Quinn! It just hurts and it sucks so much and I hate feeling like this! I'm _trying_..."

"You're so much better than me at this," he whispered. "I'm edgy today... between my mom, my birthday and getting a dose of T last night... I know it's not an excuse. I know that I should be better for you or I'm gonna lose you again."

"You're not gonna lose me just cause I gotta have space sometimes when shit's overwhelming, Q. I'm not that much of a bitch." She sighed turning in his arms to face him. "Look, I hate talking about feelings and shit as much as you, but we gotta talk when it's bad and I'm like a total hypocrite for insisting but I don't want to go through that break up again."

He nodded then flopped down on their bed. "I thought she'd be back by now," he sighed, " I know it's been almost two years, but I thought she'd come back."

Santana sighed and sat down beside him, running her fingers through his hair. "If she's not back by this summer... how about we take the summer off from my parents' place and go find her?"

He sighed and shook his head no. "She's done. She doesn't want to come back for me," he stated as he leaned back against her.

"Don't be stupid," Santana grumbled, tapping him on the head lightly. "She came to the hospital, saved your car and shit from that son of a bitch...got you out of there before he could..." she trailed off, not finishing the sentence. "She's your mom, baby. So maybe she won't win any awards but she's still your mom. You gotta know what happened even if she don't wanna come back."

"I wouldn't begin to know where to look..." he sighed. "Also I thought you wanted to try to study abroad for next summer?" he asked softly. "You wanted to go to work with the department somewhere?"

"Yeah, well, I can do that next year," she shrugged with a little smile. "It's more important to me that you'll be okay when I'm away, and knowing what happened to your mom is gonna help a lot with that I'm betting."

"I don't want you to miss out on something because I'm pathetic." he sighed, "I don't even know what I want to do and you do."

"Come on, don't be like this." She shook her head, lightly scratching his scalp. "I'm not freaking Berry, okay? What I want to do isn't more important than us. It's just not. Just cause I wanna do something doesn't mean I'll be happy doing it if you're not happy or okay. Besides, we're just sophomores. The good internships don't open up until you're a junior. Everyone knows that."

He nodded and closed his eyes. "Would you hate me if I dropped out?" he whispered softly.

"Don't be stupid. I don't love you cause you're a college student," Santana scoffed. "But will you be happy? That's all I care about, Q. That you're happy and you love me. The rest of that shit is just details. We can deal with details when the important shit's handled."

"I'm not really getting anything but annoyed by school..." he sighed, "it's not what I want to be doing at all and like... I don't like wasting my money on something I don't like."

"Then once you're done with this semester, don't sign up for another." Santana shrugged like it was the most obvious thing to do. "If you want to try again later, you've got these credits to build on and you know I'll support you in whatever you want. Right?"

"Why are you so amazing?" he asked softly before turning over and resting his head against her legs.

"Because I'm Santana fucking Lopez!" She laughed, leaning down to kiss him. "And I love you. Screw all that other shit. You and me is good enough for me."

He smiled into the kiss. "You'll be okay it's me being home and making you dinner every night? Making you a kept woman."

"Excuse me? Who do you think is gonna work her ass off to support her family?" Santana smirked at him. "I got no trouble being the breadwinner if you wanna be my househusband."

"Nah, I wanna be able to provide for you too." He smiled and kissed her hand, "I want everything with you, so I'll figure out what I wanna do so I can be equal to you."

"_We'll_ figure it out so don't stress," she whispered leaning down to kiss him again. "Fuck anyone who tries to get in our way, right?"

"Right," he said softly. "Think I can make dinner for you then take a bath with you for my birthday?"

"Yeah," she smiled down at him, combing her fingers though his hair, "that sounds good though I'm not seeing how I'm giving you anything special that way."

"You live with me," he shrugged. "You make everything worthwhile."

"Yeah, but it's your birthday, babe," she watched him as she continued to gently scratch his scalp. "You made my birthday so amazing that I want to do something special for you. Something I don't do all the time."

"Um... Wanna go out to dinner? We never really do that," he pointed out as he looked at her. "Or you could just be naked and let me watch you for awhile."

"Don't I do that most Saturdays?" she teased gently, reaching up to toy with a button. "But anything you want, Quinn. It's your birthday and I won't say no if you ask."

"Lose the clothing," he smiled and kissed her as he sat back on the bed.

She smirked at him and shook her head before getting up to close the door to the room and begin slowly pulling her clothes off one by one as he watched until she stood naked before him. "This is all you want? Me naked?"

He smirked and nodded. "Yes."

"You are such a guy." She laughed softly, climbing up on the bed again to stretch out beside him. "You know I'm not leaving this room naked while the boys are home. You want to spend your birthday in here?"

He smiled and rolled over and rested his head on her chest and his hand on her breast. "For now, yes. Then I'm gonna eat cake off of you."

Santana chuckled softly and ran her fingers though his hair, holding him close with her free arm. "Happy birthday, baby."

* * *

><p>It was God's will that found the window in the room the vile pair obviously intended to house their spawn in partially open. John had left it ajar to air out after he'd finished painting so that the fumes wouldn't harm Judy, but Russell didn't care about that. It was his way in under the cover of darkness.<p>

The metal of the letter opener's hilt was cool against the fevered heat of his palm. His hands trembled as he pushed the window open higher. He never noticed the glass stem he'd been using earlier fall from his pocket to clatter on the floor by the window as he climbed in.

It was time.

Time for the abomination that had been his wife to be purified. Time for the beast she'd lain with to be put down. He could feel his lips pull back in a fevered grin as he crept towards the door.

She was close. He could almost smell her. The letter opener whispered against his palm as he rolled it, shifting his grip. Her footsteps pausing outside the door were so familiar that he wanted to erase her from this world for the pain that familiarity caused him if nothing else.

When the knob turned and the door opened, he lashed out, his hand closing painfully hard on the thin wrist as he yanked her towards him. "Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it," he snarled, his voice trembling nearly as much as his drug fueled body as he set the point of the letter opener against her throat, "A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion. Leviticus eighteen twenty three. You have defiled yourself, Judy."

The instant he touched her her world felt like it had been set in fire. His touch against her skin caused her to breakout into a tremble. She looked at him, her eyes wide as she felt herself be thrown against door as it slammed open. She couldn't scream, she couldn't move. The weight of her stomach mixing with the fear that coursed through her body when she realized he was here.

"How dare you sin against me, Judy?" His voice was low and menacing. There was no fear of retribution in his eyes, no hint of mercy. "How dare you defile yourself with that beast!"

The roar of anger brought John charging in from where he'd been putting the groceries away. "Judy!" When he saw what was happen he threw himself at Russell with a shout, tackling the man away from his ex-wife. "Leave her alone!"

Judy got thrown to the ground in the process of being protected. Her frail and swollen body hitting the floor hard. Her lips mumbled out words like divorce, monster, and Quinn\i as she tried to catch up the the moment going on.

John had no idea what he'd be getting into protecting his girlfriend. Russell struggled like a man possessed and it took every ounce of his strength to keep him from stabbing him again with the goddamn metal thing he was holding. He hadn't even reacted to his head bouncing off the ground as John had tackled him.

Russell snarled, clawing at the man holding him down and trying to bite anything close to his mouth as he fought to push the letter opener into the beast. "I'll kill you!" he shrieked, his voice strained as he fought. "I'll kill you! Then I'll kill her and your fucking evil spawn! Then I'll wipe that fucking abomination off the earth! I'll kill all of you! You're all abominations before the Lord!"

"That is my child!" John roared as he whacked Russell against the ground again. "My girlfriend! You filthy man!" He slammed him against the ground again.

Russell didn't react even after his head had cracked hard on the wood floor and started bleeding. "You can't stop me! You're a beast! You're nothing before a Godly man! They will all die and be purified in the fire!"

Judy watched in silence for a few moments before standing up, she held a hand to her stomach before walking dazedly to the bedroom and grabbing John's gun.

John yelled, fighting to get the letter opener gouging him pressed down against floor. "You don't belong here! This is my home! My family!"

"It is an abomination!" Russell growled, trying to bite him again.

Judy walked closer, the gun quivering in her grasp. "Did you kill him...?" she asked, her voice trembling. "Did you kill him?" she called louder when there was no answer.

John barely heard her, but it sent a jolt of power through him as he realized what she was talking about. He slammed Russell down into the floor and yelled in his face. "Did you kill your son, you vicious bastard?" He slammed him down again. "Did you kill Quinn?"

His eyes were wild and bloodshot. "I'll kill it! I'll kill that monster!"

"You will never touch my children again!" she tried to yell, but it came out as a whisper, her voice trembling with fear. "All they tried to do was love you and be what you expected. But you ruined them."

"I won't let you touch any of them again! Not Judy, not Quinn and not our child!" John roared, twisting a wild stab by Russell into a pin, not noticing the letter opener until it slashed across his face, ripping his forehead open and dripping blood into his eyes.

John fell aside and Russell stood up on his knees. "Leave... Just please leave," Judy cried, her finger tightening almost involuntarily on the trigger.

Russell ignored her, lunging for John where he laid on the floor. "Fucking beast! You defiled my wife!" he shrieked, too lost in his drug haze to see anything but the man he wanted to kill, spittle flying from his lips. "I'll destroy you!"

With a simple pull the room was clouded in a thick echo. Judy pulled the trigger, the gun pointed at her ex husband.

Russell jerked as the first bullet slammed into his back and punched out his chest from the short range. John cried out in pain as the bullet slammed into his shoulder but he shoved himself back out of the way as Russell spun about on his knees.

"Shoot him again!" John yelled, his voice tense with agony. "Don't let him touch you!"

The sight of blood was almost too much, she looked at John and had tears running down her cheeks. She was terrified and everything in her body was shaking as Russell grabbed her leg.

John reached out and grabbed the back of his shirt. "Get off her!" he yelled, yanking him away from her. Pinning him for a moment he risked a look back at Judy. "It's alright, baby. Everything will be alright."

"Liar!" Russell roared, surging up and jamming the letter opener into John's injured shoulder, twisting it hard and making him scream and fall back.

With that, the gun jerked in her hands again as it fired a shot through Russell's neck. Judy watched as the man who terrorized her fell back to the ground at her feet, barely noticing the hot artieral blood splattering over her upper body as he turned towards her as he fell.

John pushed himself to his knees and crawled over to make sure Russell was dead before looking at Judy with his good hand keeping pressure on his shoulder, blood leaking through his fingers. "Call 911, Judy," he got out, breathing heavily past the pain. "It's over. He's gone."

She looked down at her blood drenched body, the gun clattering to the floor as it slipped from her fingers. "I... Oh, God," she whispered as she looked at John, her eyes wide as she trembled with shock. "What... What did I do?"

"You protected our family," he panted, slumping back against the wall. "Call, baby. Please. I...I kinda need some help here."

She got up and grabbed the phone from their bedroom. She dialed and held the phone to her ear, "I... I need help. My boyfriend is hurt... And I shot my ex-husband..."

"We've already been notified of shots being fired by your neighbors. An ambulance and police units are on their way, ma'am."

* * *

><p>When the police arrived, everything seemed to descend into chaos. There were paramedics checking John and police securing the scene. Outside the house, the local news crew had almost arrived before the police, alerted by the neighbors when they heard the first shots.<p>

Judy shook holding her stomach tightly as she watched. A paramedic had placed a blanket around her earlier, but she just clung to her stomach. Everything was numb, but everything felt wrong. It wasn't to be like this. He wasn't to come, the baby was coming soon And they had just finished the nursery... Where Russell had been killed. She killed him. She killed her husband.

"Judy," John reached for her, struggling with the paramedics trying to get him to lie on the gurney. "Fuck, let go! That's my girlfriend! She's the mother of our baby! I gotta go to her! Judy!"

"Sir, you've been shot. She is unharmed. We need to get you to the hospital. She'll be okay with the police," the paramedic assured him.

"She's the woman I love and she just killed her ex-husband protecting me! Don't you dare tell me she's okay!" He reached for Judy again even though it obviously hurt him to do so, "Judy!"

Judy looked over and watched him before the police carefully placed handcuffs over her wrists. "I'm sorry," she said to him as she was escorted by in a wheelchair.

"It's self-defense, you assholes! That son of a bitch broke into our home and tried to kill us!" He yelled, frantically trying to get to his girlfriend. "She's pregnant! Don't you hurt her! Don't you dare hurt her or our baby!" Tears were streaking his face from a combination of pain and fear for Judy. "She's carrying our baby! Please..."

They loaded the woman in the car before putting John into the ambulance. "They do it on formality. It was a gun related crime, self defense or not. I hope your gun is registered to you..."

"It is but she's pregnant and she's due soon." He was all but sobbing as they pushed him into the back of the bus. "God... the doctor said not to stress her. This can't hurt our baby, it just can't... Why won't anyone check on her? She's carrying our baby..."

"Sir... She killed someone tonight," he reminded him. "You've been shot... We have to let the police work. They will bring her to the hospital once booked if need be."

"Why can't you understand that's my baby? I'm gonna marry her," he mumbled as they put an oxygen mask over his face. "She's gonna be my wife and we're gonna be a family. Her, me, our baby, and Quinn. A family... I'm gonna be a dad..."

Everything went dark as he vaguely heard the paramedics shouting at the driver to get moving.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

She felt cold even with the blanket around her shoulders. Her whole body shook and it seemed like the little one growing inside of her was going just as crazy as everything happening around her. She pressed a hand to her belly, trying to ignore the painful cramps as she sat on the hard metal chair.

It was over. He was dead. John said he was dead.

She killed him.

She had to swallow hard to keep from throwing up at the thought of being the one to end her ex-husband's life. Her thoughts were all jumbled. They jumped from Russell to John to the baby to Quinn.

Quinn.

It was _over_. The thought repeated like a crazed mantra in her mind over and over. It was _over_. She could see her son again. She could be in his life.

If he'd forgive her.

The pain that rippled through her body at the thought doubled her over with a cry as she clutched at her stomach. A warm rush of fluid soaked through her pants to dribble over the seat of the chair and flow down her legs. This wasn't right. It was too _soon_.

"John!" she cried helplessly, wanting nothing more than his comforting presence beside her. "John!"

The officer working at her desk hear the holding cell looked up when Judy cried out. "Ma'am?" She called over before seeing the pain on her face. "Ma'am, are you okay?" she asked, as she got up and rushed over to the cell.

"My baby," she whimpered, trying to push herself to her feet but only avoiding falling to the floor by a lucky catch at the table. "I need John," she sobbed, "and... and Quinn..."

The officer grabbed her keys and unlocked the cell and went to her side. "Ma'am, your water has broke, we should take you to the hospital. Let me tell the supervisor and we will get you to the hospital."

"No, this isn't right," she sobbed, the officer helping her up and out of the cell. "John should be here... and Quinn. This isn't right..."

"We're gonna take you to the hospital," She said calmly, "Have you have a child before, ma'am or is this your first?"

"My third," Judy gasped, blindly following where the officer led. "Please... I just need my family."

"Alright, we will find them. I can call your children to be here if you'd like while you are getting admitted," she stated as she escorted Judy towards the back of the station. "I'm going to have my partner drive you into the hospital."

"Just Quinn," she panted, "and John. My family. Please..."

"Sure," she smiled reassuringly as she helped her partner put Judy in a wheelchair. "I'll contact them."

* * *

><p>Quinn was sitting on the couch with his arm around Santana playing with her hair and idly wondering how hard it would be to convince her to give him special head as they watched tv when his phone rang. Santana glanced over at where it was sitting on the table in mild surprise.<p>

"Is that your phone?" she asked, confused since everyone who would call him was either home or would call Santana first.

"Maybe it's the restaurant." He shrugged as he leaned forward and grabbed the phone. Accepting the call, he pressed the phone to his ear. "Quinn Fabray," he said softly into the phone.

"Mr Fabray?" The voice on the other side of the phone was unknown but sounded official. "My name is Marty Robbins. I'm with the Montgomery County Police in Maryland. I have some news about your mother, Judy Collins?"

Santana frowned at the sudden paling of Quinn's face. "Q, who is it? Is everything okay?"

"Uh... Yeah?" he said weakly. "She's my mom... Is everything okay? Is she okay? Did my dad find her?"

There's a sigh on the other end as Santana blinked in realization before getting up and heading to the other room to pack two bags. "I'm afraid that seems to be the case. I hate relaying news like this over the phone, but I'm afraid your father is dead, Mr Fabray. Your mother is in the hospital right now and -"

"Where are you? I'm coming..." He said quickly, grabbed a pen off the table and looking around for a piece of paper. He wrote the address on the back of an envelope before saying a quick thank you before hanging up. He looked at Santana as she came back out of the bedroom, "My mom is in the hospital... My dad found her..."

She held up the bags and shrugged with a lopsided smile. "So we're leaving now, right? I already called our coaches and mass-emailed our teachers to let them know we'd be gone for a while."

He nodded and went into the kitchen and grabbed his medications and then Santana's vitamins before shoving them into his bag. He ran his hand through his hair and looked up at her, "I need... I need you to drive," Quinn stated, his voice trembling.

She pulled him into her arms. "Not even a problem, babe. We'll stop for drinks and shit on the way if we need 'em. Let's just get you to your mom."

* * *

><p>Quinn had curled himself into the seat of his car, his head resting on his non-scared knee while his fingers traced the prominent scars over the other. Every mark on his body reminded him of his father. Every inch of discoloured skin cascading across his chest and knee reminded him of how much he lost and how much his father hated him.<p>

Now his father was dead. He had come after Judy and somehow ended up dead. He didn't know the condition of his mother. He didn't know how she would look, or if she even knew that the hospital had called him.

All he could do was wait.

"Baby," Santana called softly, reaching for him without taking her eyes off the road. "Come back to me. Stop dwelling okay? Come back to me..." She sounded a little scared as her fingers lightly brushed over his arm.

"I should have been there to protect her," he finally said softly. "I should have protected her..."

"We don't even know if she's hurt," she pointed out, tangling her fingers with his. "Come on, let's not freak out until we know what's going on. Alright? Just stay here with me and don't go in your head, Q."

"She's in the hospital, Santana... they would only call me if something was wrong," he said, his sunglass covered eyes finally tore away from his leg and looked at her. "What.. What am I going to do with my father? Do... Do I bury him? Call my sister? Let her deal with it?"

"Let him be burned and buried in a damn hole somewhere for all I care," Santana scoffed. "The only people who matter here are you and your mom in my opinion. Your dad can go choke on a cock and rot. Your mom comes first. Got it?"

He sighed and nodded sadly. "He's still my father," he whispered, "He's a bad person... but he's still my blood."

"Quinn, you gotta stop thinking like that," she sighed, squeezing his hand as she drove. "Get your head straight. Yeah, he's your dad but he almost killed you and we both know he went after your mom. Now he's dead - and good fucking riddance - but your mom is still alive. Don't worry about him until we know your mom's okay. Alright? He's not going anywhere anymore but your mom needs you."

"Yeah," he sighed softly and rubbed his eyes. They had been driving for six hours straight, they were both exhausted but he knew that he would be with his mom soon.

"Just a few more minutes, Cap. We're almost there." She glanced over at him with a smile. "Hey. You know I love you, right? We can deal with this shit. I got your back, same as always."

"I love you too," he said softly. "I just... I just need to see her. I need to know she's alive."

"Damn straight you do." She nodded, pulling into the hospital parking ramp and finding a spot. "Come on. Let's go see your mom. And, Q?" She looked over at him before getting out. "It's over. You know that, right? He's gone. There ain't nothing keeping you two apart anymore."

Quinn nodded and got out of the car, stretching his sore back and legs for a moment before heading into the lobby. He rushed up to the counter and looked at the charge nurse. "I got a call saying my mother was here? Judy Collins... I'm her son."

The nurse looked up from where she'd been typing on her computer. "Quinn Fabray?" She nodded. "We've been expecting you. She's in the maternity ward. Just go through these doors and take the elevator to the third floor. It'll be on your left. The nurses there can direct you to her room."

Santana looked confused as she took Quinn's hand. "Maternity ward?"

A curious brow was raised. "The baby is apparently coming early due to the shock but they'll know more on the floor. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really need to get these documents filed."

"Baby?" Quinn asked. "You're wrong... She got hurt... My dad hurt her. She's been gone too long for a baby." He shook at the thought her father managed to produce another child with her mother. He let the tears fall down his cheeks at the very thought.

"Q, let's just go see your mom," Santana whispered, tugging him towards the elevators. "Come on. She's waiting for you."

He let Santana drag him along. "He... she had a baby? Santana I don't understand."

"We'll let your mom explain what's going on," she insisted, pulling him into the elevator and hitting the button for the third floor before hugging him tight. "You said she had a boyfriend. Maybe the baby's that guy's."

"She wouldn't do that," he sniffled. "Maybe she's replacing me and my sister for a normal kid." He scuffed his feet on the floor. "One not damaged."

"You're being stupid again," she pointed out. "Sometimes kids aren't planned for. You know that. It's why we both know Berry's gonna be knocked up before she gets on Broadway by sticking with Finnept." She smoothed a hand over his shirt as the doors dinged and opened, letting them out on the third floor as she whispered, "Why I'd be having your kid if you could knock me up." She shrugged, pulling him out to the desk for the maternity ward. "Just means she loves this dude, not that she's replacing anyone."

He followed her to the counter. "I... Judy Collins?" he asked, his body trembling with nerves of seeing his mom again.

"Don't mind my boyfriend," Santana smiled charmingly at the young man behind the desk, "he's just freaking out about being around so many babies. We were told his mom's here? Judy Collins?"

The nurse smiled and nodded. "Yes, and she just got back to her room from delivery. She's right over there in three-twenty-one." He pointed across the way. "Congrats on the baby brother!"

"Brother?" He asked stunned as Santana dragged him towards the room. "I'm... scared." He said as he looked at the door.

"You're the bravest man I know," she reassured him with a gentle kiss. "Outside of _mi papi_ of course," she teased. "You can do this and who the fuck cares who the daddy is? He's _your_ little brother and Russell's dead so there ain't no way you'd let anyone fuck him up, right?"

"My... my mom's in there?" he asked. "Can.. can you look before I go in and make sure?"

"Sure, Cap. I'll scout it out for you." Santana nodded, squeezing his hand before letting go to open the door and peek in. "Judy?"

The woman on the bed opened her eyes tiredly to peer over at the girl in the door. "S-santana? Where's Quinn?"

"Being chickenshit. You good for a visit?"

She nodded, reaching out a weak hand towards the door. "Please. I need to see my boy."

"Q?" Santana turned around and looked at him, reaching a hand for his, "She wants to see you. Come on. I'll be right here. Promise I won't leave."

Quinn took her hand and slipped into the room. He was nervous about looking fully male in front of his mother for the first time ever. He had on a pair of cargo shorts and a fitted t-shirt. His muscles in his arms were more defined from a year of boxing and swimming, his hair was still shaggy and a bit lighter blonde from the pool. He looked up and his eyes softened when they rested on his mother for the first time in over a year.

"Mom..." He whispered as he stood near the bed.

"Quinn," she breathed, reaching up to stroke her fingers gently along his arm. She smiled tiredly at him. "You look so handsome. So strong. I've missed you so much... can you forgive me?"

He nodded. "Yes," he said softly before falling into her arms and holding her close. "I'm sorry I didn't protect you. I'm sorry he found you... I should have done better."

"He's gone, baby," Judy whispered, stroking his back. "I... I killed him. I finally protected my babies. You're safe now, Quinn. He can't hurt you anymore."

He sobbed into her neck. "I'm sorry... are you gonna get in trouble mom."

She shook her head. "It's okay. He broke in. Tried to kill John and I... it's okay. I promised I wouldn't let him hurt you anymore."

It was Santana who noticed the nurse coming in with the baby wrapped in a blue blanket. The man holding the child smiled. "Momma, I've got someone who wants to see you."

"Hey, Q," Santana called after catching a glimpse of the brown little baby in the blanket, "I think your love of tanned beauty runs in the family. Why didn't you say your guy's chocolate, Mama Collins?"

Quinn sat up and on the edge of the bed, wiping his eyes. "What?" he asked as she watched the nurse put the infant into his mother's arms. "He's... he's so little," Quinn gasped in a whispered tone as his eyes focused on the child.

Judy chuckled softly and took the baby into her arms, leaving one of her hands on Quinn's ankle. "This is your brother, Quinn."

"Look, Q," Santana whispered, leaning over his shoulder with a smile, "he's got your nose. Gonna be a handsome devil like his big bro."

Judy nodded, brushing fingers gently over his cheek. "He's going to need a strong big brother to model himself after." She smiled hopefully up at Quinn. "Someone who'll take care of him and keep an eye out for him and teach him the things parents can't."

"Is he okay?" he asked softly, "He's safe and not hurt?" His fingers reached over and ran over the infant's feet.

"He's perfectly fine," the nurse reassured him. "Just a week and a half early, but he seems to be fully developed."

"Just like his big brother," Judy murmured, smiling as the baby gripped one of her fingers. "He's in a hurry to see and do everything. Both of my boys are like that."

"Must be a family thing," Santana smiled, finally really relaxing now that Quinn was starting to.

"Can... Can I hold him?" Quinn asked softly as he looked up to his mother. "Can... I hold my brother?"

"Of course you can," Judy smiled, holding the baby up so Quinn could take him. "Here, sweetie, meet your big brother Quinn. He's going to help your daddy teach you how to be a real man so you listen to him."

"Where's his dad?" Santana asked as she looked around the room, "Shouldn't he be here gushing all gross and whatever about his spawn?"

Quinn carefully took the baby and held him in his arms. "Hi," he said softly, "You're so tiny..."

The baby made a soft gurgling noise and blinked unfocused eyes up at Quinn, reaching up to grip a finger. Judy watched for a moment before turning a pained expression Santana's way.

"He's in surgery," she admitted softly. "He got hurt really bad keeping Russell away from me and...I think I accidentally shot him too because he was so close."

"He's okay?" Quinn said nervously. "I don't want the baby to not have a dad becasue of my father..."

"He's in surgery," she repeated, clearly worried. "I've been in here since they brought me in so I don't know anything."

"Want us to go check on him for you?" Santana asked softly, gently stroking Quinn's back as he held the baby.

"I don't wanna leave my mom," Quinn said quickly. "I'm not leaving. I just got her again."

"Hey, young man," Judy scolded. "You've got school to attend to. You have to be a good example for your brother. Besides," she shrugged with an unhappy sigh, "I don't know if we're going to stay up here since the house is all tainted now..."

"I'm taking time off," he said simply. "Santana called our school and coaches... I'm not leaving you."

"Quinn, sons leave their mothers," she pointed out, reaching up to gently squeeze one of his arms. "It's part of growing up, sweetie. And you've got Santana here to help you. I'm not going anywhere anymore. Alright? You're my son... and the first of my family to go to college. Don't you want to be a good example for him?" She nodded at the bundle in Quinn's arms.

He looked down, feeling guilty for wanting to drop out of college. "Okay, mom," he whispered and held the baby closer. "I'm sorry... I'll be better for you."

She shook her head. "You be you. You're my son. My Quinn. That's all I need. I don't need better, though I hope I don't get worse. I just need my boys. I lost my Frannie a long time ago, but if I have my boys, I'll be okay."

"I'm gonna go see how Mama Collins's man is," Santana whispered, leaving the little family to their reunion. "Let him know the good word."

Quinn looked up and nodded at Santana before slipping into the space next to his mother and handing the baby back to her. He cuddled into his mom's side and watched his brother. "You didn't tell me you were pregnant."

"I didn't know where you were," she admitted quietly. "Didn't know if you'd answer if I called... or if that man would find you if I contacted you. I'm sorry I was gone so long, Quinn."

"You went away for over two years," he said sadly. "You missed graduation and sending me to college." He looked down at the baby. "Don't do that to him, okay?"

"Never again," she shook her head, tears dripping down her face. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, Quinn. I don't have the strength to do it again. Not to you or anyone else."

He sniffled, "You're... okay with me looking like this?" Quinn's voice trembled as he looked up, "I know I look different now."

"You're my boy." She smiled at him with a shrug. "Maybe you weren't always my boy, but you are now and I'm proud of you, Quinn. I'm so proud of you. Are you?" she licked her lips nodding at the door where Santana had vanished.

"Huh?" He asked as he looked up. "Am I what?"

"You and her. Santana." She offered a little smile. "It's obvious there's something there. Is it serious?"

"Yes," he said honestly. "We live together."

"Are you happy?" she asked softly, hugging him awkwardly with one arm.

"Very," he said simply. "She's amazing. We've been together for almost three years. We were together when this happened. She knew about me before I was able to be living as me."

"She sounds pretty wonderful," Judy whispered softly, stroking his hair. "All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy, Quinn. I'm not your father. I won't judge you like he did. Not ever. I just want you to be happy."

He nodded. "What's the baby's name?" he asked softly.

"I think we should wait for him to meet his daddy before deciding." She sighed softly. "I want you to meet John, Quinn. He's a good man. I swear he is. He'd never hurt me or you or this little one."

"Okay," He yawned as he let his eyes fall closed from the long drive.

"I've missed you so much, Quinn," she whispered, kissing the top of his head.

* * *

><p>It was nearly a week before John was considered stable enough to be moved out of the ICU and into the room with Judy. Though he complained about not being able to hold his girlfriend, he was happy just being with her. The charges against Judy had been dropped - especially in light of finding the missing Johnson girl in the trunk of his car two blocks away, raped and traumatized but alive.<p>

Judy laid there in the bed, watching the man she'd fallen in love with hold their son with such a look of wonder on his face that the difference between him and Russell were night and day.

"He's so small," John murmured, smiling in awe at the baby yawning up at him as he gently stroked his cheek. "We made this?" he asked softly, glancing over at Judy. "We made this beautiful little creature?"

Judy chuckled. "He's precious and he needs a name. I can't keep calling him baby for the rest of his life."

"What about Shane?" he asked almost shyly. "My daddy's name was Shane. He was a good man, Judy. I wish you could have met him."

"I wish that too," she said with a smile. "How about... We have him Shane for your father and William for my grandfather?" she looked over at him. "Shane William."

"I like it. It's a good, strong name. Shane William Estenson," he glanced at her shyly. "if you'll let him have my name that is."

"Of course. He's our son." She smiled as she carefully came over to his bed and sat on the edge. "He's our child... and my son is still in my life which I think God for everyday."

"I want to meet Quinn," he whispered as he leaned over to rest his head on her shoulder, his eyes never leaving the child they'd made together. "I want... I need to ask him something very important."

"Now that you're getting better you will meet him." She smiled. "And his beautiful girlfriend." Judy ran her fingers over her son's hand. "They're coming by when visiting hours open back up. They're going to have to go home soon."

"Their home is with us too." He spoke as if it was obvious. "I mean... we can't... I don't want to raise our little boy in a house tainted by a madman's death, Judy. I just... I don't think I can do that."

"I don't want to ether..." She whispered, "It's not good for any of us... We should... we should move to a different place. I need to start over again."

"How about," he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, passing Shane back to Judy when he started fussing too much for his injured arm to support, "how about we think about moving to Ohio? I know I got history here and all but my family's either out in California or overseas and... you need to be by both of your sons. So does Shane. He needs his big brother to keep him straight."

"You'll have to leave your job and take the teaching exam again," she said softly. "I don't want to uproot your life."

"You and this baby _are_ my life, Judy Collins," he pointed out sternly. "And Ohio and Maryland are reciprocal states for certification _and_ the PRAXIS Two is used by both states. Even if they do make me take another test, it's worth it."

"You'd move to Ohio?" She asked softly. "I never thought I'd go back..."

"I'd move anywhere in this whole wide world if it'd make you happy, Judy. You need Quinn and Quinn's in Ohio." He shrugged as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "We can sell the house - after it's been cleaned of course - and use the money to buy a fresh place in Ohio. A place to raise Shane William and where Quinn and his girlfriend are welcome whenever."

She smiled, "What did I do to deserve you?" she asked softly. "To deserve a second and a third chance at life and being a parent."

"Spent the first part of your life with that nasty piece of work you used to call your husband, I figure." He smiled lopsidedly and leaned in to kiss her softly, wincing slightly as he pulled back from the pressure put on his stitches. "I love you, Judy Collins. You and this little mite. Best parts of my life."

"I love you too," she smiled and kissed his gauze patch. "I love you and our boy."

"Good. Promise me a few minutes of one on one with your _other_ boy?" he asked with smirk. "I need to makes sure him and I are on the same page about stuff."

She looked at him nervously. "O...okay." She looked almost frightened of any man interacting with Quinn.

"I promise nothing bad will happen, baby," he murmured, reaching up with his good hand to stroke her cheek. "Sometimes men just need a little one on one about the ladies in their life to make sure everything's okay. And... I really need an answer to my question for him. It's important."

"Okay... He's... He's fragile." She swallowed. "That's my fault."

"He's not glass, Judy." John shrugged. "And even if he is, that boy has got to be tempered by now. Nothing I can do to him - or at least nothing I would ever _willingly_ do to him - is going to break him."

"I know." She sighed, her guilt about Quinn weighing down on her. "I'll spend some time with Santana while you talk with him."

"Oh... girl talk while the guys discuss you?" He laughed, trying to cheer her up. "Please avoid discussing my virility. I'm not sure I could take the embarrassment."

"You made this guy," she teased as she took their son who had started to fuss and worked her shirt open so she could feed him.

"Mmm, I think I'm a little jealous of that guy right now," he teased gently. kissing her shoulder.

"You can have me when you're healed," she teased, "and when I'm not post delivery."

"Tease," he smirked, leaning in for a kiss.

"Whoa! Hold up! Parentals kissing is so not on," Santana groused, spinning around to face a blushing Quinn. "Q, why do old people have to be so PDA?"

"Your parents are worse," Quinn smiled before wrapping his arms around Santana. "Just shut it and be good," he teased. "We can come back if you want, Mom."

Judy laughed. "Come on in. I'm just feeding Shane. No hanky panky here. Come meet John, Quinn. He's been asking about you."

John smiled at the young man, trying to seem open and warm. "Hi, Quinn. I'm Johnathan Estenson, but most people just call me John. I'm," his cheeks darkened, "your mom's boyfriend."

"Shane," he smiled as he moved closer with Santana. "It's nice to meet you, sir."

Judy giggled again, a soft almost girlish sound. "Yes, our youngest finally got a name. Shane Williams Estenson."

Santana grinned. "No offense, Q, but that is way better than Fabray. I like it. I'm Santana Lopez, by the way," she reached out to shake John's hand. "This lump's girlfriend."

"It's nice to meet you, Santana," John smiled at her. "Quinn, I, um, was wondering if you'd be okay having a man to man talk with me while our ladies coo over the newest addition in the waiting area?" He smiled nervously, his heart beating faster at the idea of the question he had in mind to ask.

"Hey, someone's gotta make Fabray a good name again. Plus, baby, you're gonna be a Fabray someday right?" he smiled and looked at her.

"Am I?" Santana asked softly, looking up at him uncertainly. They'd never really talked about any of this - marriage or changing names - and it was taking her by surprise. "I thought you didn't like your name or...or anything that came from _him_..."

"I don't wanna change everything about of me." He shrugged, "I can talk with you, sir. Mom, do you and San want to go and get coffee?"

"Um, yeah. Sure. Come on, Mama Collins, let's go see if the cantina has anything edible," Santana murmured, helping her into the wheelchair left in the room so she could hold onto her son.

As they left, John looked slightly worried. "Did you just spring something that big on your girl, Quinn? That's something to be talked about don't you think?"

He shrugged and sat down into a chair near his bed. "I mean, I'm not talking about it now... Someday I wanna marry her, but it's not like I can until I get my medical forms changed."

"That's pretty obvious, but I meant you need to talk to _her_ before springing something like that on her." He looked at the young man in concern. "Giving up her family name is a big deal. Are you sure she wants to do that? My momma always said that a man who presumes agreement from a lady and does what he wants isn't a man at all and that doesn't fit with the way Judy talks about you."

"We've never talked about it," he said. "We've been dealing with other shit." Quinn rubbed his eyes before smoothing out his shirt and rubbing his scar in his knee. "Sorry my mom shot you. She should have just shot the whole clip into his head."

"That's life. Dealing with shit that is." He shrugged with his good shoulder. "She didn't mean to hit me. The bullet went through that nasty man and hit me, that's all. He was sick piece of work with a letter opener. You heard about the little girl that was found in his trunk?" He shook his head with his lips twisted in disgust, "If I'd known what he'd done to her, I'd have ripped certain parts from his body and shown him what kind of _beast_ I could be."

"You should see my chest if you wanna see some fancy work with a letter opener," Quinn stated, "He more or less tried to skin me." He took a breath. "And yeah, the police talked to me. They got ahold of the police report the Lima PD buried. I wish I could do something for the girl or her family. I feel, like, responsilble for her being hurt."

"You're not." John held his gaze with his own. "You're not responsible for her or me or anyone else that nasty piece of work ever hurt. You didn't make him be like that and you try taking that blame on your shoulders and you're going to be old and burnt out way before your time. You trust me on that."

"Whatever." He sighed. "I'm sorry you got hurt anyway."

"I appreciate it." A silence fell between them for a while. Quinn sitting awkwardly in the chair and John plucking at his blanket. Finally the man spoke up. "I, um... I have something really big to ask you and I've been putting this off cause I feel like I should ask you first, man to man, you know?"

Quinn looked up and cocked his head to the side, "What else could you wanna ask? You already knocked up my mom..."

John winced at that. "That was an accident, Quinn. We...kind of ran before we were walking and I thought I was infertile, so... It wasn't intended, but I don't regret that little boy or being with your mom one bit."

"Look, I'm sure your great... but it's only been a few years for her. She's only been away from _him_ for a couple years... and she hooked up with you and now has another kid. Forgive me for being worried."

"Yeah," John sighed, his big frame almost visibly slumping. "Guess I don't even gotta ask to know the answer. I...I fucked things up. Let things go way too fast. I'm sorry, Quinn."

"You're gonna marry her right? I want my brother to have a family... a good one." He said, "Like Santana's... all family dinners and love and shit."

John laughed sadly. "That's what I was gonna ask you. If it was okay. If you'd give your blessing for me to marry your mom. Because I've been waiting all this time to meet you so I could ask... But you just pointed out every way I've screwed things up in just a couple breaths."

"She's my mom," he reminded him. "She deserves to be safe... and loved. She never got treated right, but she deserves to be." He sighed and rubbed his face. "Did she stop drinking to have the baby?" he asked softly, his hands worrying each other.

"We're both sober," he whispered. "We met through AA, if that's not just another damning stamp against me. God...we've only been together nine months," he breathed, hiding his face with his good hand. "Nine months...is that all I can have, Lord?"

"She..." He looked confused, "I thought it was longer... she wrote about you before she stopped writing when I was in school still."

"What do you mean she stopped writing?" He sounded confused for a moment before shaking his head and going back to the subject. "We're friends," he shrugged his good shoulder. "I let her stay in my spare room when she was scared to be home alone." He laughed ruefully. "She named my damn cat because apparently you can't call a cat Little Shit or Cat."

"Those are not cute names for a cat..." QUinn pointed out, "I'm so confused... I didn't know any of this."

"I didn't really want Melon," he shrugged, rubbing at his eyes. "I got him to keep Judy company when I heard she was lonely in her apartment, then I chickened out and kept him cause it's a weird thing to give a pretty girl you only met a few weeks ago. I just... Okay, so maybe I'm just an old man to you, but I," he swallowed, his jaw working, "I really love her, Quinn. I just want her to be happy and keep her safe..."

"Well... she obviously loves you too. She stayed with you and trusted you," he stated simply. "She doesn't trust people and she doesn't love people... but she loves you so that's what it is."

John's dark eyes opened as he rolled his head to look at Quinn. "Are you trying to say you don't think she loves you, Quinn? Because that's the stupidest thing I've heard in a while and I'm a grade school teacher. She put herself through hell with guilt over you, boy. You don't have any idea how often I've heard her crying at night because she misses you. She's your _mom_, Quinn. She wants you with her. We've been talking about moving to Ohio to be close to you since all this went down. So don't you dare think she doesn't love you so much that if you asked her, she'd leave me behind. Because I know she would."

"You have the two years I've had, then come fucking talk to me about how I think people feel about me," Quinn snapped. "You know _nothing_ about me, or what I've been through. I'm not saying she doesn't love me, but I am saying she has a new family. You can marry her if you want."

"Quinn." He spoke softly, trying to keep him from leaving. "I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through, but I did face that same vicious son of a bitch and his goddamn letter opener. And you can believe this or not, but there was no way in hell I was letting him leave that house when he started yelling how he'd kill you. You didn't deserve _anything_ he did to you, you understand me? Now, I know we don't know each other hardly at all, but you are the son of the woman I love and I want, more than anything, for you to be in Shane's life as his big brother. You might not think so right now, but you _are_ a part of this family. Just as much as Shane or Judy or I am. I'm asking you're permission to marry your mom because I want you there. Because if you're _not_, then I can't marry her because she _deserves_ to have her family there."

He looked at Quinn, willing him to see the sincerity in his face despite the bruising and stitches. "I won't marry her unless you're happy with this, Quinn. I will wait as long as it takes to convince you just how much I mean everything I'm saying."

"I just want her to be happy... that's all I care about." He said as he swollowed, "She deserves it. She didn't get to be in love, she didn't get to enjoy being a mother... she deserves that with you and Shane."

"And you," John insisted. "You're still her son, Quinn. Maybe you're nineteen, but she hasn't had you as a son hardly at all. You can still let her be your mom. Don't you know how important it is that you get a second chance with your mom? I _wish_ I could have my mom back, Quinn. I miss her so much it _hurts_. But she's gone and I don't have the chance. Don't be so wrapped up in your pain you let this chance go."

Quinn just leaned back and sighed. He rubbed his face and looked away from the bed, "It's a lot to handle okay... I was doing fine until I got a call and everything got changed again. Things keep _changing_ so fast..."

"That's life. I want to sell our house and move us closer to you and Santana, Quinn. You should have your family near by to support you," he murmured, watching the young man carefully. "I know there's no way in hell I can possibly be anything like a father to you, Quinn, but I would like a chance to be your friend if possible."

"Why would you move to Ohio? It sucks," he said with a confused look. "You should move somewhere good where Shane can grow up..."

"Because _you're_ in Ohio and the only good place for my son to grow up is near his brother."

He sighed, "What if I end up moving with Santana? Then you're stuck in Ohio."

He shrugged. "We'll figure it out. You two have a few years before you graduate, right? I'm sure by the time you start pinning down where you want to go, we could have a plan in place."

"If that's what you want," he said softly. "I'd like to help out sometimes when I'm not working. Mom needs to meet San's family again too. They took me in after..."

"I'd like to meet them too if you're determined to make that pretty girl with you your wife. That'll make her Shane's sister after all." John smiled lopsidedly. "Besides, I think I owe them a big thanks for keeping you around to _be_ his brother and Judy's son." He held out his hand. "I want to thank you too. For being strong enough to _beat_ that vile motherfucker and coming to be with Judy when I couldn't."

"Of course I came. She saved my life," he stated. "She got me out when he was going to kill me... She saved me."

"Well, you saved her," John insisted. "You gave her the strength to go to AA. To get sober and _divorced_..."

"You'll get her into counseling?" he asked. "She's going to feel guilty for killing him... she does already. She's going to need to work though her past if you two want to work."

"She's not the only one who needs counseling, Quinn. I'm a third-grade teacher, not a soldier. I'd do it again, but...being part of taking a life is not easy."

"I get that and you both should go," Quinn replied, "but, she's been though a lot. More than she's probably told you, so she needs to go. Promise me you'll make sure she goes."

John watched him for a moment before nodding slowly. "Alright. I promise. I'll make sure she gets help, Quinn. Promise."

"Thank you," he said, his head turning when Santana wheeled Judy back in. The girl smiled and carefully handed Quinn a coffee and set hers on the table.

"I brought you a muffin, John." Santana said, handing it to him before settling down in Quinn's lap, the young man's arms automatically wrapping around her waist to keep her safe.

"Thanks, Santana," he smiled at her, picking a bit off the muffin and eating it.

Santana smiled at him before snuggling into Quinn's embrace. "Missed you," she whispered, kissing him softly. "Your mom is kinda weirdly awesome though."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. "So is yours," he said before taking a sip of his coffee.

"We won the mom lottery," she teased. "Wanna leave the old people to snuggle or whatever and find some lunch or dinner to bring back?"

"Sure," He said before letting her get up. He leaned over and kissed his mom's cheek, then Shane's head. "I'll be back, mom."

"Come on, handsome. I want some one on one time with my man for a bit."

Quinn let Santana pull him out of the room. He yawned slightly and took another sip of his coffee, "I'm tired..."

"Come on, babe. Let's go back to the motel and get our cuddles and sleep on," Santana smiled at him. "Maybe I'll give you a rub down and some special treatment to relax you too."

He smiled and took her hand and followed her out to the car.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Closing the door behind them and smirking at the sight of her boyfriend flopping down tiredly on the bed, Santana chuckled softly. "Well, this seems familiar," she teased, kicking her shoes off and walking over to pull his off as well before crawling onto the bed beside him. "You and me in a motel room? Least this time I know who you are."

He looked up from where we lay on his stomach and smirked, "You were so confused when you realized I had a strap on not a real dick." He said, "Do you... do you even remember? You were really drunk."

"I wasn't _that_ drunk," she laughed, reaching over to run a hand over his back. "I always used to drink a lot when I was sad. Being rejected by you in my room when it was just us... made me really sad."

"I... I was in a cheerios uniform." He sighed, "I had long hair and was wearing a bra and a thong." He stated as he watched her. "I wasn't lying. I just couldn't be what I knew I was and I couldn't be with you like that... The thought of having something go inside me again... I... I couldn't handle it. Having you want to be with me as a woman..."

Santana sighed and rolled on her back. "It was just a kiss," she mumbled, staring up at the ceiling. "I wasn't gonna finger fuck you right there or anything. Jesus, Q. I just... wanted to feel wanted. By someone. Just for a little while."

"I did want you. It scared me so much about how much I wanted you and how much I was willing to do to have you... how far I was willing to lose myself to get that," he whispered. "I tried to think about how... if I could be with you as a woman..."

"Q, I just... wanted you," Santana rolled her head to look at him with a rueful smile, reaching out to take his hand. "I didn't care about the gender crap. Sex is... just sex. However it happens it's good in my books. And with you... it's better. Brittany might have fucked everything up, but she was right about that much. It's better when it's with someone you want. Someone you love. And... shit, I never went in Britt. You know with fingers and stuff. I didn't think that's what girls did until I got with Kelly."

He nodded, "The only time someone went in me was Puck when I was drunk and 14..." Quinn said as he laid on his back and pulled her hand onto his chest. "But he only got the tip in and I started crying and pushed him off and ran away."

"Yeah, I know. Remember who you ended up crashing with?" Santana pointed out softly. "I had to blow him under the bleachers to get him to shut up about the whole thing. Asshole."

"I'm sorry," Quinn said regretfully, "I'm not really fond of the idea his dick has been in your mouth..." He pouted as he traced his thumb over her lips. "I prefer to think I'm the only dick you want."

"I'm not exactly fond of it either." She kissed his thumb. "But you... well, girl-you anyway, was my best friend." She looked back at the ceiling with a quiet sigh. "I thought it was worth it to get him to stop trying to tell people he fucked you..."

"You're amazing," He said as he smiled at her, "I'm glad that we were together like this... with me like I am."

"Me too," she glanced back over at him with a little smile. "Even if you do sometimes go out of your way to blindside me."

"About the marrying me thing?" He asked softly, "I didn't mean to assume... I just... I do want to marry you someday when it's legal."

"Yeah, I just... I thought you hated being a Fabray," she whispered, looking back up at the ceiling. "I thought that's why you got rid of all your baby-making stuff. Because you hated it. I guess I thought a lot of stupid stuff."

"I... I get scared sometimes..." He swallowed. "If I'm not really a guy... if I'm not biologically male and I'm no longer a Fabray who am I... I'm just Quinn then. No last name, no history... nothing." He looked at her. "If we were to get married how would it work then? I thought girls take the boy's name..."

"I don't know. Some people put a hyphen in. Some guys take the girl's name. Some people don't change anything." Santana shrugged. "It's not a big deal, Quinn. You'd still be you even without your dad's crappy family name."

"I don't have a last name then. My name has always been the only thing I'm comfortable with... A lot of trans dudes have to change their first names, I didn't I was always comfortable with mine." he sighed, "I could take my mom's last name I guess..."

"You can do whatever you want, Q." She shrugged. "I don't care what your family name is. As long as you're you, I'm happy."

He nodded and leaned up to kiss her softly, "So is that a... maybe that you'll marry me someday?"

She offered a sly - almost shy - smirk. "Maybe. If you ever have the guts to actually ask me someday. Instead of just assuming of course."

"I'll ask you." He ran his hand over her stomach and settled it on her breast. "When you least expect it."

"Yeah, when I least expect it seems to be a theme with you," Santana teased, reaching up to cover his hand. She rolled her head to look at him with a sly little smile. "Speaking of unexpected... do you want to nap first or," the smirk widened, "_relax_ first?"

"Relax then naked nap." He smirked as he squeezed gently.

"Are you," she glanced down towards his hip pointedly, "_prepared_ or am I getting an opportunity to give you some _special_ relaxation?"

"I'm not prepared," He said softly, "Kinda forgot my unit when we were rushing to leave."

"Really?" she looked surprised. "You've been wearing it almost non-stop since you got it though. I thought you didn't like not wearing it..."

"It was a re-apply the glue day." He shrugged, "I have the floppy packer on, but that's it."

"I'm sorry. If I'd realized, I'd have packed it," Santana sighed. "I know how much more comfortable you are with it."

"It's okay. I'm fine with the packer for a bit," he stated. "The glue is kinda annoying sometimes and it's nice to let things chill for a bit. Plus, you're on your.. lady thing right now anyway right?" he asked, thinking in his head to why he decided to change the glue that week.

"Yeah," she blushed, ducking her head, "but I can still... do stuff for you if you want. Also, Q, you went through this same crap for nearly as long as I have, so stop acting like you can't say I'm on my period like most guys do. Geez."

"I still didn't say it even when I did." He countered, "You should be happy that I care enough about your lady parts to know such things."

"Babe, I am happy you care. It's just kinda weirdly amusing is all," she smiled at him, rolling on her side. "So... since you don't have the big boy right now, does that mean I get to see how much bigger you've got now?"

He nodded slowly. "If you want... It's pretty big."

"So I can really get you in my mouth when I go down on you now?" she asked softly, trailing her fingers over his side as he rolled over. "Maybe even give you a handjob?"

His breath caught at the thought. "Yeah... I think so," he stated as he watched her move onto her knees next to him.

"Wanna get naked together? Or," she reached up to toy with her shirt buttons, "should I get naked first and then... help you?"

"Get naked first," he said as he pulled shirt of his head before leaning back and letting his hand move down and rub his crotch. "I wanna watch."

"Lose the pants," she suggested, crawling off the bed to watch him as she undid her buttons, slowly revealing the red lace bra underneath, "I wanna a hint of what I'll be working with."

He lifted his hips and pushed down his shorts to reveal his white boxer briefs tightly hugging his body. He ran his finger over the front of his shorts and rubbed slowly.

"Mmm better," she murmured, her eyes falling to the small but growing more noticeable bulge his fingers were rubbing over as she shrugged out of her shirt and undid the button of her tight jeans, shimmying them down over her hips. "You _are_ getting big, aren't you?" she husked, licking her lips, her eyes darkening with lust as she straightened and reached back to undo her bra.

"It gets hard too," he stated proudly as he started stroking the growing stiffness. "When I go for awhile I get some pre-cum happening."

"Wish it'd get big enough so you could really fuck me with it," Santana whispered with a smirk, letting her bra slide down her arms to fall on the floor before hooking her fingers into the waistband of her panties, her eyes never leaving where his fingers were working over his shorts. "That'd be pretty amazing, I think."

"I love being inside you," he whispered as he looked over her body, his fingers going a bit quicker.

"Let me take care of that," she whispered huskily, pulling her fingers from her panties's waistband to crawl onto the bed and kiss the inside of his thigh before pushing his hand away and kissing the bulge in his shorts. "Tell me how you want me to touch you, Q."

"However you want," he whimpered. "I just want you to touch me."

"I can do that," she whispered,slipping her fingers under his briefs to tug them down and off his body, leaving him naked under her. "So big," she said, looking at his small but erect member. "Bigger than last time," she added, leaning in to flatten her tongue over it in a long lick.

"Fuck," he groaned, his hand moving up to tangle in her hair. "Do you like it? Having my dick in your mouth?"

She mumbled something as she took him into her mouth and sucked. When she realized he probably couldn't understand her, she just nodded, her tongue flicking over the head of his member.

He let out a totally unmanly whimper as she sucked on him. She smiled around him at the sound, bobbing her head slightly as she sucked. Her hands slipped under him to grab his ass and draw him closer for a moment, before she slid them around to grip his thighs, holding his legs apart so she could get a better angle on him as she lightly scraped him with her teeth.

"San..." He whimpered as he tangled his fingers in her hair, his breathing becoming ragged as his chest moved with each breath.

Santana moaned softly as she worked him, the vibrations travelling through her lips to his body. She swallowed hard, sucking on him, her lips and teeth pressed hard against the base of his member. Finally she pulled away, a trail of saliva connecting her to his tip and her chin slick with the arousal seeming from his core. "Delicious," she mumbled, looking up at him as she reached up to wrap her fingers around him and pump, dark eyes fixed on his.

"I'm gonna come..." he groaned, his hips and legs shaking as he watched her.

"In my mouth?" she asked, leaning down to take him between her lips again. She rolled her eyes to watch his expression as she slid up and down his member, lips, teeth and tongue working over him.

After a few more moments he arched up, his body finally releasing into her awaiting mouth as he cried out her name softly.

Santana cleaned him with gentle stroke of her tongue, being careful never to penetrate him before sliding up to kiss him. "That's always so hot that you can do that," she whispered as she pulled away, her tongue slipping out to gather a little of his essence from the corner of her lips.

He smiled lazily. "I like that you like it. It's kinda the best of both worlds for you... It's not like all penis thrusting into your mouth but it still like that girl stuff."

"You're the best of both worlds," she murmured, smiling softly as she ran her hand gently over his bare chest. "Yeah, you never were a girl, but you've lived a lot of the shit I go through too. You're not completely in the dark or grossed out like a born guy is about girl stuff. And you know how to pick clothes that look _amazing_ on me," she smirked, remembering how he'd surprised her with the lingerie set one day a couple months ago. "And it all _fits_ too."

"That's because I know you, and I know what you look amazing in." He smiled as he pulled her onto his legs.

"Yeah, but a lot of guys don't and wouldn't even if they were comfortable going in a lingerie store on their own like you can." She smirked at him, kissing his collarbone before resting her chin on it.

He ran his fingers through her hair. "That just means you will always get really awesome presents that you actually like."

"See?" she asked softly, nipping at his collarbone with a grin. "Best of _both_ worlds. The hard sexiness of a man but the knowing how to get me of a girl. You're kinda perfect for me, baby."

"And you me." He smiled, lying there quietly with her for a little while. "My mom's man friend who spermed her up wants to marry her."

"Does he?" Santana asked, watching Quinn quietly. "What do you think about that?"

"Her son needs a father. She wants to move back to Ohio... but like that's dumb since we're not gonna stay there forever. Right?"

Santana shrugged. "I guess not. Don't know where we'll go though. Mami'll be sad you don't wanna take over the restaurant too. You know she's been wanting you to take over the kitchen from her."

"I'm just a cook, not a chef... I didn't go to school to do it properly."

"Um, neither did Mami," Santana pointed out. "She's a lawyer."

"Yeah... but I don't... like, I sometimes feel like I can make the food fancier sometimes. Like the stuff I read about and see on TV." He shrugged. "Your mom's amazing and the foods great, but it's like mom and abuela food."

"Okay," she nodded slowly, thinking about it. "So what do you wanna do? Like...go to some fancy school and be a chef?"

He shrugged, "I'm not good enough, you gotta be cooking for years for that..."

"Oh, bullshit. Any of those half-assed pansy freaks on TV can be a chef, then so can my man." She snorted. "Like any of them have half the balls you do. I know you, Q. If you want it, ain't a damn thing will stop you but you."

"You think I could do it?" he asked nervously.

"Well, _duh_." She rolled her eyes. "After the last couple of years I'm just about convinced you could do anything." She smiled, folding her arms over his chest and resting her chin on them. "You know I'll support you, babe."

"I don't know, I'm not sure if Ohio has a cooking school... Ohio state doesn't." He sighed, "Plus, I have to finish school..."

She shrugged. "Transfer. We'll figure it out. If you want this, then I want you to have it. Besides, aren't you and your mom like that jackass's heirs? I mean he's dead and shit but he totally owes you guys still in my books."

"I am... since she's divorced from him and Frannie can't be reached... I get to inherit all the dirty money." He sighed and cuddled up to her. "It's not good money..."

"So use it for something good," she suggested. "Pay for school and like, give the rest to some awesome charity for guys like you."

"Maybe some, but I'm putting some away for us... some for Shane for college and for our kids someday if we have them," he said softly. "It was a lot of money."

"I kinda like the idea of kids with you," Santana smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him. "_After_ we graduate."

"Of course." He smiled. "I'll think about cooking school... I want to talk to your mom about it before I make any decisions," he stated, his admiration of Santana's mom obvious.

"You know if you do that, she's gonna make you promise to take over the restaurant." Santana laughed, nipping at him.

"Maybe I could. I'd focus on Spanish food and Mexican food at school." He smiled. "Since it is my favorite."

"Maybe I should work a little harder on that minor in business management," she said teasingly. "Like hell you're running that place without me."

"I thought you wanted to be an engineer," he said as he rubbed her shoulders. "It was your dream."

"Um, who said I can't be one?" Santana asked curiously. "It's not like Mami is going to give up her restaurant any time soon, Q. We got time. Just like she had time to be a big shot lawyer for a while before settling down to take over from Grams and raise her family. You gotta get your chef stuff together and really learn to be the head chef and all, so I figure I'll do the engineer thing and build us a nice little nest egg until she and Papi are ready to retire. Then just you, me, and our kids can settle in to run the place. What do you think?"

"Sounds really perfect, San." He smiled and kissed her. "I can train and get really good first."

"And maybe I can convince Mami to let me build an addition and give you some more tables to worry about," she teased.

"That could be cool... It's getting really popular, we did like 175 covers last weekend." He beamed proudly.

"You're a rockstar." She smiled, idly watching her fingers tracing the scars on his chest. "I, um... I kinda wish you hadn't gotten rid of your eggs. I know it's stupid and shit, but I kinda liked the idea of having a little you someday. You know, having your baby." She worried at her lip for a moment then sighed. "I'm with a guy and I still gotta get spermed up by some stranger if I want a kid."

"Um," Quinn started, "My, um, my endo... she thought I might regret that." He looked down at Santana, "She thought I might change my mind someday."

"Yeah, well, Papi made it pretty clear you were firm on the subject." She shrugged. "Whatever. They'll still be ours, right? Even if they're just...me and some random?"

"Actually, I, um, had some harvested," he admitted. "I wasn't sure how I felt about it. But, I wanted to give you the choice if you wanted it."

"You...you what?" Santana gaped, staring at him. "B-but Papi said... He said you..."

"I did if after that. When you went to visit your uncle, I got some harvested and frozen for us if you want them in the future... Your mom helped me come to the realization that we could have kids together someday."

She didn't have any words. She just shook her head, biting her lip on the smile threatening to burst out of her and flung her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook. "I love you, Quinn Fabray. I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too," He whispered into her crown. "You are my world."

"Ready for sleep?" she asked softly, kissing the corner of his jaw. "Cause much as I wanna practice baby making with you, it's not the time." She blushed, glancing down sheepishly.

"Sleep sounds good, plus I've heard my mom retelling birth and I don't want you to think about that when I'm fucking you."

"Plus we need your big boy," she reached down to cup his limp member gently. "I love this part of you, but if we're practicing making babies, I'm gonna want you in me. Maybe I'll give you a special wake up before we go back to Mama Collins and your new little bro."

"Sounds perfect." He smiled and kissed her lips before pulling the blanket over them. "Night."

"Night, baby," Santana whispered, snuggling into him and let sleep take her away.


	36. Chapter 36

**Epilogue**

**Seven Years Later**

"Keep your eye on the ball, Shane!" Quinn called, one hand shadowing his eyes past the end of his yellow ballcap. "You can do this, buddy!"

The little boy poked his tongue out of the corner of his mouth and wiggled slightly as he watched the pitcher. Dark eyes followed the movement of the other boy's arm as it brought the ball around and whipped it towards the plate. As it came hurtling towards him, he yanked the bat around connecting with the ball with a solid _crack!_ of sound, sending it flying away. Letting out an excited whoop, he dropped the bat and scrambled for first.

Santana stood up where she'd been sitting in the stands with her parents and in-laws to cheer the boy on. "Come on, Shane! Slide!"

The boy dropped down on his belly reaching for the bag as a cloud of brown dust rose up around him and the first baseman. When it cleared, he was clutching the bag, his eyes screwed shut and his helmet knocked askew on the braids covering his head. The umpire looked down at te scene and threw his hands out just as the winning run crossed the plate. "SAFE!"

Santana let out a happy whoop and hugged her mother-in-law. "He did it!"

Judy laughed, hugging her back. "Just like Quinn taught him."

Shane scrambled up off the ground not even bothering to brush his chest off once the game was called and threw himself at Quinn. "Quinn! Quinn, I did it! We won!"

Quinn lifted him up and swung him around, "Freaking amazing slide, man!" he said as he hugged his little brother. "You'll be playing for the Orioles soon if you keep hitting like that!"

"Yay!" he cheered, hugging Quinn tightly. "You'll be my coach, right? Daddy says a good coach is best."

Santana laughed as she came up behind them to hug Quinn. "Maybe, buddy. But we gotta get over to my mom and dad's for the barbeque. You ready for that?"

His eyes lit up as he leaned back with a big smile. "Barbeque! Can I have two hotdogs? _And_ a burger?"

"I like being your coach!" Quinn smiled. "And are you sure you can handle all that food? I know your a growing boy but that's more than _Santana_ can eat!" he said teasingly as he walked with them back over to the bleachers.

"Hey!" Santana growled, not really liking the dig at her slightly expanding waistline. "Are you _trying_ to get yourself condemned to sleep on the couch tonight?" she asked with a raised brow.

John laughed as he came over to take his son as the other three parents gathered things up. "Careful there, Quinn. Your lady's got some teeth on her."

"I'm not complaining! I like when I get to make you tasty, tasty food," Quinn replied quickly. "Don't make me sleep on the couch... that would be sad." He picked up the bag with the bats in it and slung it over her shoulder. "I like that you eat."

"You better," she murmured, picking up the bag of cups and walking towards their station wagon with Quinn, "seeing as you knocked me up _twice_ this try."

He beamed at her. "Making up for my lack of sperm," he stated as he loaded the trunk of the car. "You ready to tell the family? I think that today's a good day because you're gonna start to show soon."

"Maybe when we're back at Mami and Papi's," she smiled, leaning up to kiss him. "I'm glad it worked. Can't wait to see you getting all wrapped around our babies' little fingers," she teased.

"Just like yours?" He smiled and opened the car door for her.

"Hey, that's where you belong!" She laughed, letting him help her into the car as the parents piled into their own vehicles.

* * *

><p>Santana was nervously sipping at her iced tea and watching everyone from her seat by the grill where Quinn was busy cooking. "Are you sure we should tell them?" she asked uncertainly. "I mean, what if I miscarry again?" A hand smoothed absentmindedly over her stomach. "Maybe we should wait until they're born and just say <em>surprise!<em>?"

"Baby, you're having twins... and you're four months pregnant." He rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss against the woman's temple. "You've got two babies growing in you... they're gonna know."

She blushed and stirred her tea with her straw. "I know, I just... how the heck do you tell your parents that they're gonna be grandparents without everyone freaking out in this family?"

"I don't know, we could always pull what my mom did and get knocked up and have a baby before telling anyone." He shrugged and squeezed her hand. "Just think about it this way, you get more presents starting now if we tell them."

"Hey, I'm not _that_ materialistic!" She laughed, leaning back to smile up at him. "Maybe... maybe you could give the announcement?" she asked softly. "Be all proud papa-to-be?"

"I can do that," He smiled, "I like that I got you knocked up."

"_Twice_," she pointed out with a smirk. "I cannot believe you managed to get me pregnant with _twins_ without even having the bullets to fire."

"I'm gifted, baby." He smirked. "Plus this way we might have one of you and one of me inside you," Quinn pointed out as he flipped the burgers and sausages on the grill.

"Oh God, if that's true I'll never get you back," Santana teased. "You'll be too tied up over a little me to look at the me getting older in your bed."

He pouted for a moment. "Like I'll have time with a little you having me wrapped around their finger," he reminded her. "Hopefully they can occupy themselves a bit or we can dump them with the in-laws sometimes."

"Mmm, but you'd better not be thinking you're gonna get out of quality _us_ time before they're here, mister." She cocked a brow at him, smirking. "I have _needs_ and you're the reason I'm like this so..."

"Have I ever had an issue taking care of your needs?" He raised his eyebrow at her and went about seasoning the meat on the grill.

"Not yet. Might need to get you on some vitamins though," she mused, sipping her tea as she watched him slyly. "Feed you some steak and stuff. Keep your strength up."

"Yummy," he said and took a swing of his beer. "Maybe you should go help your mom get the table ready and gauge her mood... I know she's not really great with my mom yet..."

Santana rolled her eyes, getting up out of her chair and handing him her tea. "Chicken. You just don't want her mad when you announce your big news. Like they won't all be nuts about being grandparents. Speaking of," she paused and glanced at him, "how is John gonna fit in? I know he married your mom and all, but I know you don't think of him as your dad..."

"He's Shane's dad... and our baby needs grandparents." He shrugged and flipped a burger on the grill. "He can be a grandparent if he wants to be."

She walked over and hugged him. "Tell me what you want, Cap. Because you're _their_ dad and they'll have your mom and Mami and Papi no matter what."

Quinn hugged her back and kissed the junction of her neck, "He can be their grandfather..."

"But you'll always be their dad," she whispered, enjoying the moment. "Now... you want to let everyone know before we eat or after?"

"Before," He stated, "I just want to get this over with so we can stop being nervous."

"Want me to go get everyone together?"

"Yes, please." He smiled and turned back to the BBQ.

"Back soon, lover." She smirked, heading off.

* * *

><p>Getting everyone gathered together in one place looking at the two of them expectantly just made Santana's nerves flair up again. She licked her lips and squeezed Quinn's hand nervously as she smiled at him. "You ready?"<p>

"What's going on?" Judy asked, looking between the two of them worriedly. "Is everything alright?"

Quinn squeezed Santana's hand and smiled, "Yeah, we just have some big news to tell you guys." He had a soft smile playing across his face, "As you well know San and I have been married for three years now, and we love each other very much..."

"Yuck!" Shane protested, making a face that had Santana covering her mouth to try not to laugh at him.

"Shane," John chided gently, "hush. You'll change your mind when you get older."

"Well, now, don't keep us waiting, son!" Emilio called out from where he was standing with his arms around his wife. "What's the big news?"

"Santana's pregnant," he stated with a smile. "We're gonna have babies."

The adults all gasped in surprise while Shane just looked confused. Maria was the first one to come over. "You're pregnant?" she asked with a smile, looking over her daughter. "I get to be a grandmother?"

Judy's reaction was a bit more stunned. "Babies? _Plural_?"

Santana nodded, leaning into Quinn with a hand on the slight bump beginning to show in her fourth month and a smile on her lips. "Twins. I blame your son."

Quinn just beamed proudly. "Yup, two," he said as he hugged Maria. "Two little Collins-Lopezes."

Suddenly Judy was beside him, pulling him into a tight hug with a happy laugh. "Oh, congratulations, sweetie! I'm so happy for you!"

Maria blinked at the sudden happiness, still not used to interacting with the other woman, but she stepped back to let Emilio scoop his daughter up into his arms. "Congratulations, baby."

"Thank you, Papi," she whispered, hiding her smile and happy tears in the crook of his neck.

"We've been trying for a while... So we waited as long as we could to tell you."

"You take care of my girl, Quinn," Emilio insisted over Santana's shoulder as John came up to the group with Shane perched on his shoulders.

"Congratulations, you two." He smiled, holding out a hand to shake Quinn's. "I can't think of two people more suited to be parents."

"Until I die," he said with promise. "I can't live without her."

John sighed, stepping back. He knew Quinn still hadn't really accepted him as part of their odd little family, but it still stung when it was pointed out. Pulling Shane down from his shoulders, he gave him a little shove towards Quinn and Santana. "Go give your brother and sister a hug. You're gonna be an uncle when their babies are born, little man."

Quinn hugged Shane and smiled at John as he hugged the boy. "You excited, Shay?"

Shane frowned up at his big brother. "Is San having puppies like Molly?"

Quinn laughed loudly and ruffled the boy's hair. "Not really, she's gonna have babies. We love each other and wanted to be parents like your mommy and daddy."

His eyes narrowed in a pout. "Puppies are better."

"Sorry, dude, no puppies," he said. "We should get eating before it gets cold."

"Hot dogs!" Shane cheered. "Can I have extra relish, Quinn?"

Santana laughed, watching her husband interact with his little brother. Maria hugged her. "You're going to be good parents. You picked well, sweetheart."

"Thank you, Mami." She smiled at her mom. "And don't worry, we still plan on taking over the restaurant in a few years after these little guys are old enough to stay with you and Papi while we're at work."

"I have no doubt, but take your time." she smiled, her hand reaching up to cup Santana's face, "sooner than you know they will grow up and have their own families."

Quinn worked in setting Shane up with a hot dog - with extra relish - and making a plate for Santana.

"But they'll never grow up enough to stop being my babies, right?" she asked, smiling at her mom as she put a hand over hers.

"Never, they just bring us more people to love," she smiled and kissed her daughter's head.

Santana smiled, looking at Quinn. "I think we finally done good, Mami." She glanced at her mom, her smile growing. "I'm happy. My Cap's happy. Mama Collins is home, happy, and safe. Russell's dead and can't hurt us anymore. And we've got babies on the way." She rubbed her belly happily. "We done good."

"Yeah you did, mija," she smiled as she placed her hand over her daughter's. "So good."

Quinn came back over and wrapped his arms around his wife, kissing the top of her head. "We did best, Mami."

"Damn straight," Santana added with a laugh, leaning back into him.

**The End**


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